SATURN RETURN IN THE 5TH KIND OF VIBES (?)
Algo que perdí hace muchos años, tiempo que se ha sentido como un limbo eterno, tal vez ya empecé a encontrarlo pero no estoy segura. Creo que ahora puedo entender qué fue lo que sucedió pero al mismo tiempo siento que necesito explicármelo a mí misma. Sobre todo para saber a dónde me trajo, dónde estoy ahora.
When you are unable to see yourself you find mirrors everywhere but most of them are horribly distorted; the respect that you get, your grades, the life you think you have; uncomfortable mirrors, they make you feel like you are nothing. But deep down you know that you are not nothing, so you embark on a mission to prove it to yourself, the thing is you have no idea how to do it so you try a million different things, you break your own heart many times, you hold on to reflections that project a vision that feels very close to what you want to see.
Los espejos que mejor se sienten son al mismo tiempo los que más te hacen sufrir, no se sostienen, se evaporan intermitentemente, you don't understand why, you hold on harder, letting go feels impossible but life forces you. You don’t know how to live without that image of yourself, the one that lives inside your mind is unbearable, please I want the impossible one, why are you hurting me? But it never works.
El reflejo cada vez se ve más nítido but somehow the pain keeps getting worse. That last one almost killed me, the end felt like an exorcism. Something died, I keep going. Mirrors keep breaking, I find new ones but still something is missing. I don't want to see myself through many small mirrors with bad lighting, i want one with an image so beautiful.
Please I am tired, what?? le busco sólo en mi vida diaria, no en un par de ojos. La paz es más tangible ahora, pain fades but something huge is still missing. A new year starts and something shifts, los reflejos son más nítidos, menos tóxicos pero mucho más fugaces, no los puedo atrapar. I feel like im going insane, my cravings are as intense as when i had a mirror except this time i have none.
blakekathryn
gummygunk
romaincrisis
jimmyeatworldofficial
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind