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[alagaisia]

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

[alagaisia]

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

[alagaisia]

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

[watermelon-converse]

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

[7777777awawawa7777777]

sorry everyone we won’t be seeing any men today they’ve all been bricked into their enclosure

[tonyzaret]

[tonyzaret]

[apisashla]

Listen I'm aware you all want a piece of this. I understand I'm a hot commodity here on tumblr dot com. But even setting aside wealth and immortality, my husband squeezes the absolute fattest ass you've ever seen through literally billions of chimney flues every December 25th. And every other night of the year, he's with me. And somehow you hoes think you can teach me a trick I haven't seen before? Dream on.

[apisashla]

I have made. A miscalculation

[qiyra]

[groupieculture]

[jimmyhoffathecat]

Pickles

[jimmyhoffathecat]

I admit he did knock the TV down and break it after we took this photo.

[stargoyle]

My relationship with manhood is complex and painful but my relationship with men is completely erotic and sexual

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

if i were taylor swift i would tweet that im a lesbian and then delete twitter forever

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

if i was her and saw all my crazy fans constantly claiming i was a lesbian and wlw and the perfect lesbian representation for doing the most basic ass white bitch shit in existence id be like lol fuck it and then play into the bit

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

i cant answer this ask i need to save it in my inbox for the rest of eternity. your mind is so brilliant

[softwaring]

this reply kills me 😭

[dreamycastaway]

The original pride flag and the sewing machine it was sewn on

[iwriterobots]

[psychotickenesis-deactivated202]

[oneheadtoanother]

these tendrilous filaments growing out of my gooch are becoming concerning. and the less said about the one growing out my urethra the better!

[windup-angel]

the work printer cries out, "no stop, that's too much! youre gonna make me jam!" as i load a full ream into her tray, but it's too late. "see, you can take it. you're doing such a good job for me." i coo into her feeding tray as i begin printing the morning reports. her warning lights turn red as she moans in i assume ecstacy

[droughtofapathy]

[ratbagfemme]

[lyhoradka]

coffee shop by my house hired a new barista who is extraordinarily hot and flirts with me incessantly but she also makes the worst - and i truly mean the worst - coffee i’ve ever paid for. atrociously bad. just another of god’s little jokes

[lyhoradka]

just remembered the barista who worked there last year and treated me with an attitude generally reserved for children and the incompetent to the point where she would frequently adjust my drink order in front of me and every single time it was BANGIN’

[manyblinkinglights]

#cloth barista wire barista

[doitforpink]

[programmerhumour]

Once upon a time…

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

[thebeanestbad]

[personification-of-anxiety]

I really wish the overused sentence “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” was less relevant but here we are

[androgyne-angel]

someone posted this in a bad graphic design group I’m in on fb and I can’t get over how much I love it lmao