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@katsidhe
things that are definitely not going to Sam's head immediately 🥰🥰
Dean saying things not realising he's triggering Sam's trauma and ocd for ten william years
Occurs to me that Cas knows Lucifer better than pretty much anyone in existence, barring Sam and the archangels and some of the very first demons.
It’s also fairly indirect in a sense: they haven’t spent a TON of time together. But Lucifer possessed Cas (or co-possessed Cas’s vessel with him?) and therefore got a lot of access to Cas’s mind. And Cas saw, to some degree, Sam’s memories of the Cage, and therefore got an insider scoop on Lucifer in his darkest moments of loss and despair.
I wish we'd gotten Cas and Sam actually discuss Lucifer more, and not just that scene where they force Sam to team up with Lucifer and Cas tells him he knows what he's like. It drives me insane to imagine that they otherwise never talked about it?
Mmmm yeah. There are so many possibilities here.
There’s, like, the part where Sam emphatically Does Not Want to talk about Lucifer thanks very much, especially where someone in the know is involved.
Because Sam knows Cas was in his head, and he knows Cas went insane for a little while from it, and he knows Cas scooped his body from the Cage. So, Sam has on some level an uncomfortable, tangible awareness that Cas is one of the only actual witnesses to what was done to him. And that’s humiliating. That’s hard to touch.
Cas suffered from Sam’s suffering in a direct sense, even if it wasn’t Sam’s doing. So that’s awkward.
But also, it means Sam wouldn’t have to explain anything, really? If he wanted to share a moment with Cas like he shared with Rowena, he wouldn’t have to put it into words. He could just use a brief little line to reference the truth he knows Cas has already seen.
Sam only reached out to Rowena when he was trying to help her/make a point to her about her own suffering. Similarly, I think him reaching out to Cas about Lucifer would have to be firmly grounded in the context of Cas’s Hashtag Lucifer Trauma, and not his own.
But that never really gets to happen. And I think there are decent reasons why the activation barrier for that particular conversation is so high.
First off, Cas was never hurt by Lucifer in the cruel, direct, personal ways that Sam and Rowena were. Lucifer has killed Cas twice, and he possessed Cas, and he’s hurt people Cas cares about, and he’s the reason for like, most of Cas’s worst problems. But he never set out to hurt Cas in particular. He doesn’t really care about torturing Cas specifically. He never took his time. The very worst of Cas’s Hashtag Lucifer Trauma, is.... well, still Sam’s, actually. Which is not something Sam would like to reach out to Cas to address for him.
It’s always Cas who is gung-ho about plans involving Lucifer, and Sam who is understandably cautious. Cas is put in situations over and over in late seasons where he’s got a choice about using/teaming up with Lucifer, and he pretty much always chooses to do it. Saying yes and the Amara fight in s11, their jailbreak in s13, going after him in 13.21... I’d even classify his insistence on protecting Kelly and unborn Jack in s12 in this category, too.
And this is complicated. Cas has all the context in the world as to why it’s a bad idea to try to cooperate with Lucifer even in the short term, but he consistently does that calculus and decides to play the odds anyway. And sometimes this makes Sam really visibly frustrated and even hurt, even betrayed, like in 11.14 and 13.21.
But Cas is also right when he tells Sam he knows what Lucifer is, and that he understands why Sam is afraid, and that he’s weighed his options. Cas has just put different weights on things than Sam would. And that, sometimes, hurts.
It’s not that Cas is devaluing Sam, or his trauma, necessarily. It’s just because Cas is focused on an endgame that he thinks is more important than any of their discomfort. Which is, yknow, kinda valid. But that is a role that is usually Sam’s to play—saying, hey, let’s put our personal feelings aside and get this done. Which displaces Sam a little bit, and might even make him more resistant, and definitely makes him feel selfish.
Cas really, deeply cares about protecting Sam from Lucifer. As early as 5.10 there’s that lovely scene of Cas fronting on Lucifer in Sam’s defense. He overcame Lucifer in 11.14 for Sam. He saved Sam’s body from the Cage, and he saved Sam from his s7 psychosis. He’s been in the trenches against Lucifer, next to Sam, in a way that no one else, not even Dean, has.
Cas is more bothered by Nick than Sam is in early s14. After all, they don’t need Nick the way they needed Lucifer. And I think a fair amount of this resentment is on Sam’s behalf.
Must be weird, you looking at me and seeing him.
...Yeah.
14.01 - Stranger in a Strange Land
SUPERNATURAL 11.10 | THE DEVIL IN THE DETAILS Original Air Date: January 20th, 2016
I just know this book is gonna be good
The Real Bros of Supernatural
well the eagle eats my liver every day around 3pm, but otherwise i can meet when it best suits your schedule!
if feanorians bad then why sexy…?
idk I just think happy queer stories need to be properly labeled so I can be warned beforehand to not get invested in the main ship because there won't be a culminating catharsis of mutual corruption and self-betrayal crystalizing into an inevitable murder-suicide :/ . like I don't think happy endings in queer media shouldn't be "allowed" to exist or whatever I just think tbh honestly to be honest that those creators need to think and be more responsible and let me have my boundary of nottttt wanting to see that. this is because I feel it's really important for me to see myself represented and reflected positively on screen and the real truth of my lived experience is that I'm gay and evil and I'm not going to make it.
some elf bullshit happened
The Silmarillion Abridged
Finrod's Song (2001 Russian Rock Opera adaptation of parts of the Silmarillion/Lay of Leithian)
For the past month and change I have been in a bit of a Tolkien phase. I say this casually, but this has encompassed not only rereading the Silmarillion in far deadlier earnest than I even managed in my youth, but also watching a number of obscure film and other Tolkien adaptations.
Now, no one has the rights from the estate to adapt the Silm. Luckily, some intrepid Russians don't care, and there exist not one but two rock opera versions of the Lay of Luthien. I wish to tell you about one of them: "Finrod", or "Finrod's Song".
There are a number of versions on youtube, here are my two favorites: the first has better audio, the second has far more staging and is slightly rearranged. They have English subtitles. If you just want to read a translation, here you go.
It's great and you should watch it.
There is something about the stories told in the Silmarillion that is enhanced by my inability to speak the language they’re presented in. Naturally, I think, I shouldn’t natively understand the meaning of the words Finrod and Sauron sing; naturally, reading along to various translations gives me a sense of poetry where a deeper meaning is right beyond my grasp. It just feels right.
This is a telling of part of the Lay of Leithian, just the bits where Finrod is involved. Beren meets Luthien and goes to Finrod for help to get a Silmaril; Finrod keeps his oath to help and loses his crown, a song battle, and then his life. Luthien saves Beren.
Incidentally, there’s no Morgoth. Some productions just give Sauron (who in this case would be Saur-goth? Mor-ron? You decide) the Silmarils and the iron crown so that Beren has something to steal at the end; some merely elide them altogether, which means that Beren doesn’t even get to complete his quest.
Thingol is a smug dick; in some versions he even conspires with Curufin and Celegorm and promises to marry Luthien off to one of them, not something he’d ever dream of in the Silmarillion. Melian has a banger song calling him out for his shit, at least.
Beren is a wild and bitter man, which feels right for the last survivor of his people. He tells Luthien he’s betrothed to death and all sorts of metal stuff like that. He shoves his ring in Finrod’s face with the expectation of betrayal.
The sons of Feanor have a cool song where they get to yell about their oath.
You had better already know the story before getting into this one. You had better already know what the Silmarils are, what Finrod’s history is, who Amarie is (the show draws on her to compare Finrod and Beren vis a vis love as a motivating force), who the Noldor are and what they have done, because this production has little interest in telling you.
In some ways, though, you don’t really need to know those things to taste the shape of what’s happening. Do you need it explained that when Sauron and Finrod sing somewhat obliquely about memory and slavery, power and creation and morality, that Finrod’s haunted by his complicity in the kinslaying at Alqualonde? Do you need it explained that when Finrod changes his clothes to a white robe and sings an aria entitled “The Truth”, that he’s sacrificing himself for Beren by killing a werewolf (not depicted)? Maybe you do… and maybe it doesn’t matter.
They look GREAT I LOVE THEM THEY'RE PERFECT LOOK AT MY BOYS AHAHAHA SO MUCH EYE MAKEUP don't you want to watch these guys sing.
5x16 // 11x08
s13 summarized
Supernatural 7.02 | Hello, Cruel World