Summary: loosely based off of Ashley Frangipaneās (Halseyās) songĀ āBorrowingā. You can find the song on youtubeā¦ itās an unreleased song. Basically, Sam has a wife named Nicole whoās a pre-med student at a university in Kansas but heās fallen in love with the reader, a huntress who moved into the bunker and hunts with him and Dean. This will definitely have a part 2. Ā Ā
Pairings: Sam x reader
Warnings: cheating, fluff
Words: 1,432
A/N: Song lyrics are in bold italics.
_______________________________
It was really late. And the hotel room was too dark to be reading this many words. They were beginning to blur together, probably from sleep deprivation, you thought.Ā
It was hard to concentrate and you considered abandoning your efforts and trying again tomorrow but that wasnāt really and option. A week ago the three of you had caught word of some strange deaths in a middle-or-nowhere town in South Dakota and unfortunately it turned our to be a not so simple hunt like you thought itād be. Without Bobby around to do the research for you, that task fell to you and when you didnāt come up with an answer quickly Dean had shouted at you and told you there were people dying out there (as if you didnāt already know that). So that immense guilt drove you two stay up two nights without sleep to get all the information you needed about this hunt.Ā
An hour or so passed, or maybe it was two, before you let your hands and the lore book fall to your lap.Ā
āYou can stop whenever you want to,ā Sam said from behind. You jumped, unaware there was another person in your room.Ā
āI donāt want to stop.ā You lied.Ā āIām just reallyā- you cleared your throat and fixed your hair before turning to face him-Ā ātired.āĀ
āI can take over research duty. You should get some sleep or Iām not letting you hold any weapons.ā Sam smirked at you.Ā
You smiled. You couldnāt not smile when Sam looked at you like that.Ā āIām a better shot than you even in my sleep,ā you shot back.
When he walked closer to you, you noticed his face was flushed from the cold outside. He was wearing the usual Winchester attire - jeans, work boots, flannel and an army green jacket. You wondered if he and Dean shared the jacket. Sam got closer and pushed your shoulder lightly, āscoot over.ā You did. Samās phone dinged with a new text message and he glanced at it before refocusing his attention on you.
āHowās Nicole?ā You asked politely. It felt awkward to talk about her with Sam for some reason.
āUh, good.ā He cleared his throat in a way that made you think he felt awkward about it too.Ā āSheās got some important test tomorrow for her chem class so I guess sheās kind of stressed.āĀ
āHow can she even focus on school at all when youāre out hunting deadly creatures?āĀ
āCoping strategies.ā He grinned lazily.Ā
āPhone calls, texts every hour, drowning herself in pre-med school workā¦ā He shrugged.Ā
With Sam sitting so close (practically leaning on you, you were acutely aware of) to you, you felt comforted by the smells that were uniquely Sam. He smelled musky; a nice combination of the slightly dusty smell of old books, old spice, and coffee grounds. Sometimes he smelled like beer, but not tonight. Sometimes like pine needles.Ā
āDo you love her?ā Your voice was so quiet you werenāt sure he heard you. You hoped he didnāt, why would you ask him that? It felt way out of line.Ā
At first, he didnāt say anything and you couldnāt bring yourself to look him in the eyes. You felt like that one question would break down the privacy in your head and let him read into your mind. Like now he knew how you felt about him and heād think you were weird. You felt vulnerable and you wished he would just say something before yourĀ āwhat ifās?ā drove you into a full blown panic attack.Ā
āI donāt know.ā The answer surprised you. The way he spoke was full of doubt and uncertainty.Ā
We both have so called responsibilities
And others to answer to tomorrow
But right now Iām begging you to be my safety
The kind of love I canāt return, but Iām gonna borrow
You kept reading. Another thirty pages in and you werenāt sure when, but Samās arm found its way over your shoulder. He pulled you closer so your back was resting against his chest. Youād been fidgeting and shifting constantly, years of hunting didnāt do very good for your back, and Sam just reached behind you and pulled you into him. It was unexpectedly comforting.Ā
Eventually his hand slipped down her back to rest on the couch and stayed there. That is, except for when he moved or stretched. When he would adjust his position on the couch his hand would reach back up to your shoulder to hold you against him while he shifted.Ā
Your eyes meet mine
The lights are playing shadows right down to your collar
The words became jumbled in your head at the feeling of his broad chest rising as he breathed beneath you. His breath tickled the back of your neck, your hair tied up in a messy ponytail. Ā As his breathing slowed his chin would rest on the top of your head like he was going to fall asleep like that.Ā
Again, you lost your place in the book and you dropped the book to your lap for a second, leaning your head back against his shoulder.Ā
Samās head dropped close to your ear and he said in a soft, sleepy voice,Ā ātake a break,ā and he took the book from your grip and placed it on the floor. He reached over you for a second to grab the bottle of water that sat on the bedside table, his body curving around you before settling back against the stiff hotel couch. He twisted the cap off and handed it to you. You took a sip, then set it back down. You tried not to squirm or move to much (you didnāt want him to think you didnāt like the current position you were in) but your back felt stiff and the muscles in your shoulders and neck were aching. Unable to help yourself, you arched your back to relieve the pressure.Ā
āYou alright?ā He asked.
You nodded, too tired to answer but felt him moving beneath you again slowly,Ā āHereā¦āĀ
Sam slid his jacket off and scooted down the couch so he could rest on his side, then he tugged you so that you were lying on your back in front of him with his well-toned arm beneath your head like a pillow. Your body relaxed instantly, his warm flannel hugged up beside you like a blanket.
Samās arm curved around your shoulder when you just looked down and shifted towards him on your side without answering. He was warm and it was nice to be held like this. You hadnāt had someone to hold you this way sinceā¦ well ever. And God knows you wanted to be held. To be able to let your guard down for a little while still feeling safe. And who could make you feel safer than Sam Winchester?
Iām sorry darling, I know heās yours
I know you make him breakfast and fit between his arms
Tonight Iām borrowing a perfect man
Iām borrowing your broken love
Iām sorry darling, I know heās yours
I know you wear his class ring and I donāt mean you any harm
Tonight Iām borrowing a perfect man
Iām borrowing your broken love
Neither of you said anything for a long while. You just breathed. And enjoyed the feeling of having someone so close you could hear the others heart beating in their chest. By that time, your cheek was firmly resting against his flannel clad chest, feeling his ribs expanding while his lungs filled with air.Ā
You wondered if there was any blood left in his arm.
You wondered what would happen when you returned home.Ā
You didnāt move away from him. Youāre eyes were tired. You were tired. Too tired.
Your eyes were half shut, and so were Samās. His lips were a pale pinkish color. He smelled like he just shaved but stubble was already beginning to grow back in around his mouth. You liked it. Even though the freezing weather caused his lips to crack, bleeding just barely on his lower lip, they still looked nice. They fit nicely on his faceā¦ perfectly Sam. Perfectly something.Ā
He nudged your nose with his, and his lips fell sleepily against yours. Soft and open, slightly drowsy.Ā
You wanted to look back up at him. Look at his pretty eyes, maybe kiss him again but you didnāt. Your eyes fluttered closed and you couldnāt stay awake. He couldnāt either.Ā
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