Celestial Coitus ♡

she/her • 15 • pan • fixed the serotonin machine; working hard to keep it fixed :) • side blog:@broken-writing • 11\19\18 ♡

[notkatniss]

remember when hozier did the victorias secret fashion show. scream

[notkatniss]

he looks like he just accidentally teleported there 

[mysticalalleycat]

Y'all Elle interviewed him about this beforehand and it’s the best thing I’ve read.

What a legend

[exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear]

[scorpiogothgf-deactivated202103]

6’5 anon come back..

[powerfrogarchive-deactivated201]

YOU DONT NEED HIM

[hekacute-deactivated20141230]

I’m addicted to weed and that weed is you. Come here so I can smoke you, you little nugget. You’re a tiny weed nugget and I’m going to smoke you a little bit. Smoke you with smooches, that is. 

[babelien7-deactivated20150727]

hands down the lamest post i’ve ever read in my life

[neyhaz]

this is dope

[tonyhawksproskaterfour-deactiva]

this is dope

[web1-0]

this is dope

[christianstepmoms]

this is dope

[celestialcoitus]

this is dope

[imp-deactivated20171219-deactiv]

me: and i cant even get a text back.

them: you didnt even send anyone anything

me: and i cant even get a text back.

[tlirsgender]

Eye doctor: so which is the smallest row you can read on the chart

My ass w bad vision:

[tlirsgender]

This is so funny but y'all functioning eyed people don't know what a standard vision test looks like off the top of your head so I'm not getting notes smh

[catsi]

in grade 12 we were reading romeo and juliet and we were at the romantic-ass balcony scene and this hot girl in the class volunteered to read juliet’s parts and i put up my hand to volunteer for another part and the teacher goes ‘oh do you want to be the nurse, amanda?’ and i was like ‘no i wanna be romeo’ and the hot girl swiveled around in her seat to give me a Look™

she and i later ended up making out at a bunch of parties in university lmfao

[catsi]

in retrospect this moment was absolutely pivotal to my butch awakening but it was also just a lesbian power move

[eyeballs-2-entrails]

I too got a girlfriend over this play. In grade 10, I was reading the balcony scene to study with two other people (one guy and one beautiful girl) and I insisted point blank I had to read as romeo, because he had the most lines and I’m a dramatic little shit.

So the other two in my group are used to my antics by now. We’re all friends, so the pair of them decide that the one guy in our group gets to be the nurse. Now, my Juliet and I have been friends for a couple months by this point, so I decide to be a little more dramatic.

We put Juliet on a spinny chair, and pump it up as tall as it goes, and my baby, closeted lesbian ass crouches on the floor, ready to be as melodramatic as possible. Like, I’m about to do a rendition that makes William himself walk into the class and tell me to take it back a notch or twelve.

And then I look up.

And holy shit.

There she is, Juliet, haloed in the worst fluorescent light known to mortals across the globe. Light just streaming down around her, that weird off-green colour that it always is. And she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. My little gay soul is barely holding on as the words barely leave my lips, breathlessly. “But soft… what light from yonder window breaks?”

And Juliet was the sun. Romeo was not exaggerating that line at all.

Juliet and I have also been together for more than 4 years now. She’s every bit as spectacular as she was when I was a lovestruck teenage Romeo, kneeling on the yellowed linoleum floor of second block english.

[rebakitt3n]

[champagnepadre]

when u get entertainment in trivia crack

when u get sports

[deerhoofandrabbitsfoot-deactiva]

REALLY?

REALLY?!!

Can everybody please STOP with this bullshit?!

[deerhoofandrabbitsfoot-deactiva]

You know, while we’re on the subject, I met with a good friend a little while back for coffee. She told me that she and her husband had purchased essential oils for weight loss. She had been instructed by a salesperson to put a few drops of essential oils (I want to say they were grapefruit and mint) in a large container of water and to drink this several times a day.

She did lose weight. In some regard, this was effective. But she lost the weight because she felt too physically ill to eat. She reported feeling nauseated and lethargic all the time. She reported vomiting after most meals. I sat in the coffee shop and pulled up website after website, explaining why consuming essential oils is dangerous and why essential oil sales reps should not be trusted. Because the essential oils actually did make her lose weight, she was reluctant to stop, but being a sensible person, she did agree to stop consuming them. And she’s not a stupid person. She and her husband are both well-off, college-educated people.

Long story short, this shit is evil. It prays on people’s insecurities. I would say it’s modern snakeoil, but I think it’s actually worse. To the best of my knowledge, snakeoil was not a MLM scheme.

[archived-sakuyeah-isayaoi-deact]

DO NOT CONSUME ESSENTIAL OILS!!!

These are for aromatherapy only, and they're not going to cure your ailments! At most they can help you relax (lavender and camomile) or help with symptoms like congestion or nausea (peppermint). And that's if you USE THEM PROPERLY AND DON'T EAT IT DUMBASS. Get a defuser god damn. And while they can help with cold symptoms, they can't cure your cold. Take some nyquil or drink lots of orange juice or something.

[rivercityrabbitsbro]

I’m not sure if this is niche enough but here ya go

[pinkish-pickles-deactivated2019]

if u call me baby i will melt into a blushy, pink puddle of love-glitter and think about it for the rest of eternity

[oi0u98ygth-deactivated20260120]

being mutuals is so... intimate... like u follow me but i also follow u? this is so forward i’m blushing....

[feministism]

[be-pd]

*expresses a reason i’m upset* oh god im being manipulative aren’t I

[nothereanymore999-deactivated20]

Me since last Xmas

[fangirlinginleatherboots]

teaching children that they are allowed to walk away and cool off if they are feeling overwhelmed might literally save their life as teens/adults

[mullersturtleneck]

I am a preschool teacher.

This is my “alone zone.”

At any time of the day, if my kids are feeling stressed, they can go here to cool down. There’s stress toys, silly putty, bubbles, sensory bottles…there’s books and headphones to block out the loud noises.

The only thing they have to do is “check in” by putting their picture on which emotion they’re feeling so I know how I can help them when they’re ready.

Kids. Need. Space.

Kids. Need. Coping. Mechanisms.

Not. Time-outs.

And the sooner we as adults teach them that, the better off they’ll be as they grow.

[bumbleshark]

once these nails dry……bitch..

[firbolgonmain]

Hey Chelsea you ever think about that wild bitch from Holes who painted her nails with rattlesnake venom and clawed a motherfucker across the face?

[bumbleshark]

that was a very special moment for my young lesbian ass, thankyou for reminding me

[joshpeck]

me: *eats absolute trash all day but drinks a lot of water* me: being healthy is a lifestyle :)

[valtsv]

character i like: *wipes a trickle of blood from their mouth or nose while smirking and saying something witty to their opponent like the bastard they are*

me: