Hi! I happened to find your blog searching for post about Drusilla from Buffy on others people's blogs. (She is one of my favourite character in Buffy). I couldn't help but noticed that you wrote that you were in the process of writing some fanfiction about Drusilla... I hope it's not weird to ask but I am struggling finding good fics about her, there are very fews of them and the ableism is so bad often, you seems to care a lot about this character and having an insightful/emphatetic approach about her struggles, so I'd really like to read these Drusilla fics that you wrote/are writing.
Are you comfortable with sharing the links? I am also on ao3 with another name.
I hope this ask wasn't invasive and wish you a good day!
Hi!!
It’s not at all invasive! I’m flattered that you trust how I write Dru from my tag ranting, and/or my inability to stop replying to @annyankers posts (tagged you because you’ve asked about my writing a handful of times too, so I may as well make a post lol!)
I absolutely agree that there’s a lot of ableism that goes into how Dru gets written in the fandom, and I think there’s an element of victim blaming that goes on as well. My ao3 is Eyeballs_to_entrails, and I have darker/more explicit fics on a pseud called Cut Out Stars (please read the warnings if you check out that pseud, and maybe check out some of what appears on my main profile first!!)
I am notorious for very sporadic updates, because my ADHD ass cannot maintain an update schedule to save my own life, but I’ll post some blurbs for some of what I write.
My newest fic is Heaven is Not Fit (a love like you and I) and it’s set in Tabula Rasa (s6 memory loss au). The first chapter is in Buffy’s PoV, and isn’t as kind to Dru as I want it to be. The bulk of the fic is in Dru’s perspective (chapter 2 is! And a lot of the un-posted chapters are!) the sections without memories are unthinkably sweet, and feature Dru befriending some of the scoobies, because they don’t remember why they don’t like her. The second half of the fic deals with my HC for why Spike and Dru broke up between s2 and s3, them getting back together, and the aftermath of her getting all those very traumatic memories back. Spoiler: she and Buffy are going to have a wholeass conversation about how they both lost out on Heaven. The scoobies don’t go back to being her enemies after they get to know each other under the amnesia spell.
My biggest, and probably best received fic is called Poet at the Door—there’s an update on it coming, I swear! Dru is human in it—her family is still alive, barely, and she’s trying to save them as Angelus closes in to kill them. Spike is already a vampire, and intercedes because he’s not okay with what Angelus wants to do to Dru specifically. So he does the only thing he can do—passes himself off as a suitor, and decides to get into her house, kill her, and then hide that he did it. Only, he can’t do that, because immediately upon laying eyes on her, he falls madly in love, and realizes he can’t let her die. Human Dru and Vampire spike end up in love, and have to figure out what the two of them together can do to save Dru, and her family, without Angelus catching on. This fic is sweet, but it’s got its share of angst and darkness. The chapter I’m working right now is a wedding chapter.
TMC, or Tua Maxima Culpa is my other big multi chapter fic. It’s got a larger cast than most of my other fics—if you want more of the scoobies, it’s your guy. It’s a university au that looks at what Angelus as like a 2 episode big bad would have been like. It unflinchingly centers on Dru, and keeping Angelus away from her. Like Heaven is Not Fit, the scoobies have to question what they believe about vampires when they get to know Spike and Dru. This fic is me shamelessly working to make justice for her (well, not quite justice—what could be justice for THAT?).
Deliverance is my last major multi-chapter work. It spawned out of me thinking about the fact that Dru was alone after she was sired, getting really sad, and then asking myself, what if she didn’t have to do this alone? So Spike is already a vampire, and he finds her at the church she was murdered at, and takes care of her. Probably the darkest of all my multi-chapter works, because it is the direct aftermath of the night Dru was sired. You don’t ever have to see what happened to her on screen, but that doesn’t make it easy. Very deeply hurt/comfort fic. She has to come to grips with being a vampire, with the support of Spike and a few of his vampire pals, and recover from her injuries, and decide what she wants this new life to be. This fic very heavily pushes back on the idea that she’s Angelus’ masterpiece, and on the idea that what he did to her gets to define her.
I have plenty of shorter works, and running series that are half-started. I have a backstory series going for her, I have a shit ton of one shots written, that largely have summaries attached. I have a series started about why Spike and Dru break up after season 2 (I have BIG headcannons) and a series that chronicles Dru’s backstory, from the day she first sees Angelus, until the night she’s sired—it’s incomplete right now!
In the works, but not posted yet:
Blood and Bravado: in s2 Spike says that Angel sired him—I wanted to look at how Spike and Dru meet, and what happens between them in a world where that’s true. It’s dark, Angelus is pretty awful, and Spike has no idea how precarious things are, but he meets Dru, and decides immediately that she’s The Goddess Of Lost Words, because she knows things about his poetry, and tries to swear his life in her service. She… has to set him straight about a lot of things.
Untitled S2 rewrite: me rewriting a season 2 that at every turn puts Dru first. Buffy is with Angel, but he’s a lot less likable than people found him in canon. Spike and Dru work against Angelus as covertly as they can after he loses his soul. Jenny survives, kind of. It’s going to be so, so very long, and it’s going to heavily feature Spike and Dru. Written so that friends of mine who haven’t seen the show can follow what’s going on, and Buffy and Dru are the two mains, from two sides of the stories.
Untitled Destiny rewrite: remember the flashbacks in Destiny (ats s5)? I wish I didn’t. I don’t love that they frame the scene between Angelus and Dru as Dru cheating (seriously—can anything consensual happen between the two of them with what he’s done to her?) so I have elected to write the scene from her perspective. And possibly a companion fic in Spike’s. It’s going on my dark pseud for a good reason. In this retelling, Spike misunderstands at first, but, after they talk things out (or rather, after she makes a graphic enough Shakespeare reference that it forces him to listen!) Spike comes to understand how bad her situation is, and decides that he’s staying here with her, that she’s worth any possible danger he’s in for caring about her, and that one day, things will be better than this. Dru’s pov will be rated explicit with archive warnings. Spike’s pov will be rated probably mature with archive warnings.
Letters from Lavinia: modern au of our beloved vampires. Spike is an English TA, doing a masters degree at UC sunnydale, and he writes obscure poetry on tumblr. Dru is his favourite mutual, and she’s writing her poetry on an iPod that is usually taped to the underside of a shelf, while being a missing person. Uses vampirism as a metaphor for the ways trauma changes a person. Very heavily reinterprets the Dru/Angelus situation as an abusive relationship. Uses a truly disgusting number of Shakespeare references, and Dru’s family is alive and searching for her. Leads to William and Dru getting together, Dru getting out, and then the pair of them having to decide how to go forward with her being a vampire. I used to write this thing in my phone notes every night when I went to bed, but a few of my friends want to read it, so it’s getting edited together into something coherent enough for ao3.
I have another couple fics set in some of the post-canon comics, including them getting back together, and a fic about how they got engaged (as vampires!) and a fic about why they split in s2 that is written in choose your own adventure format, but only with one ending (it will be tagged Dead Dove Do Not Eat, for some apocalypse related depravity).
Mandatory link to my ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works?work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Bfandom_ids%5D%5B%5D=22001796&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&commit=Sort+and+Filter&user_id=Eyeballs_to_Entrails
https://archiveofourown.org/works?work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Bfandom_ids%5D%5B%5D=22001796&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&commit=Sort+and+Filter&user_id=Eyeballs_to_Entrails
