celestialsolitude @celestialsolitude111 - Tumblr Blog

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

Darling dearest, My test in time.

From my fear is, a wine and dine.

Under the wing falls, a restless snow.

From my tombstone, a forgetless face

She was once a queen, pulled away as an ace. I can't remember her name. But it started with A. My best friend. I can't tip off, there's an eye in my window. Blue iris of stone, forget me please, your lashes will be the scythe that scrape me away. Dripping onto leaves, but I won't mourn yet. I have more faces to lose. If, before now, after then. my slippers wear holes, and I trip through, into my grave. Six miles down, no one recognizes me ? I remember you, and you, and these trees made of glass. Why do they ask me where I've been ? When I open my mouth rainbow ribbons unravel. They spelled out a face, one I've owned before. Maybe 1962. She was my darling dearest. I found her. Someone with no sense of smell that spoke in tongues. Why does that matter ? It did to me. Why ? I don't remember. She was born before, before I knew my name. But i only have ribbons and memories. We recycled the rest, it makes smelly fertilizer, but the trees grow root up. This is the sky, to me atleast. it's backwards, not upside down. Those aren't clouds below. Devils fog machine. Isn't it ? Those are the rumors atleast, sometimes the currents like to tell lies. I'm gonna give up my search, I'll paint a new face.. we won't find this one for centuries though, our little Easter egg hunt. I hope they spend millenia peaking, rolling over every rock. Telling the bugs they love them, they come from the same world anyway. Before I forgot who I was, I didn't mind. I hope, they never find the face. So I can finally rest. Forever.

#spilled thoughts #<333 #huh

august-zip

DID is more than just having parts. Its also,

• amnesia

• confusion

• headaches

• nausea

• repeated childhood trauma

• anxiety

• spikes in fear. Anger. Or shame

• mood swings from parts

• body dysphoria

• depersonalization

• derealization

• self puzzlement

• loss of control

• flashbacks

• dizziness

And more.

DID is not "friends in your head" its traumatic, scary and uncomfortable. Its not fun it's a terrifying TRAUMA BASED disorder. And it should never be romanticized - Vesper

thebigcrow

Hey, shout out to systems with "frustrating" or "socially bad" traits.

systems who seem indecisive, "hot and cold", disloyal, dishonest, etc. to others due to subtle switches, passive influence, amnesia barriers, etc. between headmates with very different opinions, wants, and moods

systems who have headmates with "scary" attributes/symptoms, like hallucinations, delusions, anger issues, hypersexuality, low/no empathy, selfishness, need for attention, etc. especially those afraid they're perpetuating the "evil alter" stereotype

systems who never know who's fronting. especially those with memory barriers, those who struggle with feeling any sense(s) of personhood, and/or those who struggle to keep close bonds with people due to this

systems who struggle with meltdowns, tantrums, outbursts, pathological demand avoidance, poor sense of social norms, and other tendencies/issues that make being social or just existing in public difficult

systems with fluctuating sexualities and/or triggers that make it difficult to remain with a partner/partners (or to date in the first place)

systems who infight in-system and have trouble making decisions without intense internal backlash

systems who have trouble keeping self care (and may go out of the house dirty/disheveled) due to other mental illness or due to frequent fronters being unmotivated, forgetful, or having sensory issues or triggers that interfere with self care tasks

systems whose "self defense" relies on people pleasing, avoiding stressors, getting overly defensive, or getting angrier than "reasonable"

You are loved, you are appreciated, you deserve to be a part of society, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be understood and given patience... you deserve to be able to create, love, heal, be respected, be treated like your own age, to lead, to have a voice, to feel safe.