The American Sweetheart.
canon divergent Celia St. James
from The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo “ What do you want us to do?
Ruin each other all over again? ” independent, selective, headcanon based
est. 2021 as adored by Chris
Celia St. James — The American Sweetheart, canon divergent and heavily headcanon based from The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo; as adored by Chris (she/her) , gmt+1, 25+ // carrd
“ Celia St. James is going to ruin EVERYTHING. ” — independent, private & selective, canon diverent Celia St. James of The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo; as adored by Chris.
Okay, the last and final episode of Scenes from a Marriage, that I didn’t know at all what to expect from and yet it gave me everything. I absolutely loved it. It puts so much into perspective, into a different light? I doubt I can keep this brief, but I will try! Behold, spoilers ahead!
Unlike every other episode, the fifth starts with neither Jessica nor Oscar heading to set, it was ultimately the first episode to do that and the first episode to end with Mira and Jonathan together, and with that with Jessica and Oscar together — which, believe me or not, I called would happen. When Jessica said during the WWHL interview, that the choice to show her and Oscar head onto set was made to showcase their friendship too and that the ending will be sad but you will see that we’re okay, I knew that the chances that we’d see them walking off set together are rather high and I loved that choice. It gave the episode a nice touch!! Plus I feared the entire time that Mira and Jonathan “ wouldn’t be okay ” which they aren’t, but also they are, in a way.
Something else the episode did, which no other did, was to start with Mira and Jonathan outside of the confinement that was their home — granted in the first one there is that one scene at the end doctor’s office which you know is in a way coming full circle, BUT here we do see quite a lot of them away from the house, which makes sense, since they sold it and honestly I would have not expected them to go back??
Now, showing Jonathan with his family, at the funeral at of his father, the more or less snide remarks he makes to his sister about what was written on his father’s gravestone not being true and when he later challenges his mother until they nearly fight manifests what we heard when he read Mira his Morning Pages in Episode Three. He struggled growing up under his father and under his parents marriage, ( both Mira and Jonathan were heavily influenced here on opposite ends of the spectrum ). Something that has been bugging me this whole time is that it in a sense was made to look like Mira was the driving force to get him away from his religious upbringing, beginning with the first episode where it’s the play she did that started his detachment from his believes and traditions. You know, with the whole spiel of You never liked it in Episode Three and You liked that I didn’t like it. In the way he talks to his mother though it becomes clear that his struggles with his family did alienate him from his religion too, which means that it wasn’t Mira’s doing. She aided it perhaps or was the catalyst but she didn’t make him give up that part of himself.
What I thought was interesting was how they argued in the car about staying together for the kids and I VERY MUCH agree with Jonathan here that it’s never something that should be done. The implication that his mother stayed with his father for the sake of their children is clear and judging from how he argued and his Morning Pages, it was something that had a massive negative, long lasting effect on him.
Also man, his mother asking if he and Mira did everything to stay together? Like not knowing he has a new wife and a son that rings absolutely different than knowing he is married again? Doesn’t she care for her new daughter in law at all? ( I guess Jonathan shares that one with his mother BUT I am getting ahead of myself here!! )
Now Mira, I loved seeing her — those pants that should be fucking illegal aside, meeting with Poli. For one I loved finally getting to see him but also in those few moments with him I got what I had hoped for, for her sake, and that was character development. Throughout every single episode there was nearly zero character development. She was still very much trapped, still was incredibly unhappy and in those few moments in the restaurant you see that she has not just found herself, but is solidified in who she is. She’s found a new career in consulting, when Poli offers her a massive cooperate gig that he knows ( or rather believes to know? knew? ) turns her on, she turns him down. When he tries to score a dinner ( because he isn’t ready to give up yet and because you know, it could be fun *wink wink* ) with her she tells him off which we know is because she is set to meet Jonathan but she wouldn’t have taken his offer either way. She pretty much has moved on from him, SOMETHING she never managed to do with Jonathan.
Also, we learn why she chose Poli, he’s charismatic, he’s good looking, he is as career driven as she is ( or was ), he quite definitely is the complete opposite of Jonathan, he was a breath of fresh air for her. Something else entirely. No theories, no repressed struggles ( remember in Episode Four she told Jonathan that she felt the need to hide that she was a sexual person from him ), she isn’t wrong when she said she’s sure Jonathan would have made fun of Poli because chances are he would have. Which perhaps was part of the reason that drew her to him.
Because he wasn’t Jonathan, because he was different and because he saw her for the woman she was or wanted to be. He gave her something, that her husband at the time didn’t — which doesn’t justify cheating, but yeah it’s a better reason? Or excuse, for lack of a better term, than SOME ELSE has ( but again, I’m getting ahead of myself here ).
I absolutely loved how she mentions that she is in a good place with Ava and that they have great movie nights together and I adore that Poli failed to get the desired raise out of her. Like no ten minutes prior he very clearly hits on her because he can’t let her go yet to then tell her he wished he never met her and all she does is tell him he is saying things he doesn’t mean. He’s hurt. Rightfully so. He invested time and emotions into a relationship that was doomed to fail from the start because she never could let go of Jonathan.
She, as we learn just a moment later, even here chooses Jonathan over Poli.
Another thing I absolutely love about the episode is that Mira and Jonathan FUCKING FINALLY learned to communicate. It’s been eight years in total since the first episode and they learned to communicate, which becomes apparent in so many small details. For one in how they interact on the drive, we not only get a bit of back story, you know, we learn when Mira and Jonathan got Married ( September 2nd ) and we do get more details on how they got together, but we get a glimpse too at how they were, before everything went to hell. Also please how adorable is it that Mira actually sticks to holding her eyes closed? I would have peaked!! There is a sense of freedom to how they interact with one another that we never saw before and frankly, it’s beautiful to see.
Jonathan’s surprise, oh boy, he’s not just sentimental for the house. He’s sentimental for his life, his relationship with Mira. Not the bad stuff, obviously, but you know, how they were before all of that. In a way, how they are now. At that point we don’t know that, but he is unhappy in his new marriage and that manifests in obsessing over the house, or well, over his marriage and relationship with Mira ( BUT more on that later ).
How awkward they are when they move through the house?? Exploring it?? They’re seemingly out of place but in a way they also aren’t? It’s both painful and hilarious to watch but it also does hold beauty in it’s own way because you can see that they both imagine a what could have been if things would have gone differently.
Something that became super obvious to me, once they were in the house, was that Episodes Two to Three did feel like one long scene. Like there were no obvious cuts, no jumps in the way they existed in the First Episode, and are existing very heavily in the Final Episode. It in a way makes the episode feel a little more rushed, a little less confined than the previous three BUT it’s necessary and still executed well.
The scene of them on the couch is one of my absolute favorites, because you see how comfortable they are with each other plus you do learn how all of this started and god damn. Funeral Sex, really??? But I do love that Mira showed up to show her condolences and to offer comfort to Jonathan. It does speak for how far they have come. I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt, hat she didn’t plan for it to happen THAT way but it’s obvious that she wasn’t objecting either.
Mira liking the hotel room because it is what it is and it isn’t what it isn’t, speaks for her — especially if you compare it to Jonathan’s speech about being sentimental about the house *cough* their relationship *cough* about being in their relationship ( it’s an affair but technically we don’t know that yet so shh ) for totally different reasons. There is more detachment to what they once had in comparison to Jonathan here. She still very much wants him and loves him in her own deranged way but it’s less about what they had and more about what they are having now where for Jonathan it’s not as easy but that has to do with the fact that he unlike Mira, isn’t single and isn’t happy with his current, situation? Arrangement? Relationship?
The dinner scene is an excellent example of how they’re finally communicating. They’re not just talking, they’re picking up on each others emotions and nonverbal clues too and just, it has been so long!!! And finally!!! Progress on both sides, at last!!
This time around, Mira talking about being happy about being alone isn’t wishful thinking, she is TRULY at peace with herself. It’s like she said, the first time she is single since she was fifteen and there is something to be said about never really being alone. It’s something you have to learn and once you’ve done that, that indeed is liberating in a way. What she claimed to know in Episode Three, is what she found in Episode Five, even if Jonathan still doesn’t fully buy it. Also there is something to be said about his need to finding out whether or not Mira is dating someone. I do wonder if he would be jealous if she was. Either way, I do understand Mira questioning him here.
The anecdote about Mira’s mother, the implication that both her and her father suck at relationships and have given that in a sense to Mira because she DID lack that stability and consistency that Jonathan maybe had but he is the other extreme, by being an example of an unhappy marriage. They both come from broken homes and tried to build a home for themselves which ultimately failed.
Also!!! When she realizes she hurt his feelings?? SO. MUCH. PROGRESS!!! Oh, what could have been, would they have learned to communicate earlier????
Something really really beautiful about how comfortable Mira and Jonathan are with each other in this episode, and if you compare it to how stiff and borderline uncomfortable she was around him in some scenes in Episode One and Two is how they are ( nearly ) constantly touching, be it in the car or on the couch or when they are having dinner. They’re both, constantly initiating contact with the other which is beautiful to see, looking where they come from.
That scene in their old bedroom though. Like yeah, that felt awkward and wrong and perhaps a little too close to home. Something’s off for sure, how Mira puts it. I do love though how understanding and warm she is towards him, it’s a bit sad that is first response is to run rather than just spend the night talking and having a different kind of intimacy but oh well.
Mira checking out a stranger’s closet though and then wearing clothes that aren’t hers ( even if it’s just a coat ), like wtf woman? Also please that easy to find hiding place for the key to the attic, they begged for them to go up there, given they could have just taken the key with them, you know, gotta say though I DO LOVE how she goes snooping around.
And then when Jane calls? And he gets all sing-song and he’s talking quietly because his mom is asleep? No he is talking quietly because he doesn’t want Mira to hear, because it feels wrong. He wouldn’t breathe a quiet fuck if not. That moment to me, was so fucking glorious because finally Jonathan delivers proof that he is just as awful as Mira is ( worse actually but we’ll get to that ), because he’s cheating on his wife and the mother of his infant son. For a moment there it seems like Mira did get him to do that which does shine a bit of a negative light on her again but that’s thankfully not the case.
Jonathan cheats because HE CAN, because he wants to. Because he has NEEDS. He cheated on his wife six months ago which was when, what? His son was six month old? Less than that maybe? Like damn son. And he doesn’t even count one-night-stands?! OR feel remotely bad about it? The way he tells Jane the schedule of how he’ll get home without missing a beat?? Like seriously dude, you of all people should KNOW how fucking terrible this feels and yet you subject your wife to it?? Your wife that you don’t even fucking love?? Since you only married her because there is no difference between being married and living together?? Like dude seriously?? That he isn’t fucking ashamed of himself?? Mira at the very least FELT AWFUL and was ashamed of herself. Like god damn. It’s about time he got off that fucking high horse he never should have fucking sat on because?? No?? He is just as bad as Mira, if not worse.
He doesn’t give a single fuck about Jane and suddenly his obsession with the house makes sense because he is bound to compare her with Mira, given he is unhappy in the relationship. Given he never wanted to marry her. Given he doesn’t even love her.
Oh but Mira, he STILL loves her he never loved anyone the way he loved her. When Mira asks him what he’d do if Jane were to find out about them and all he says is that their relationship would end sooner or later anyways he is choosing Mira over Jane, and sure, he has needs, but Mira doesn’t just fullfill these needs, no, he still loves her.
When he says someone told him once it’s like trying to reapply a piece of tape that you rip off and that it might stick but that it’ll never be the same, that quote was in the promo for the show so I knew it was coming and after the last episode I thought he is referring to his love for Mira, but no?? He is referring to his love for Jane? Essentially what he is saying is that he will NEVER be able to love someone the way he loved and still loves Mira and that’s both beautiful but also incredibly sad, which Mira does point out.
She has a point too, when she says that they’re both so fucked up because they fucking are. They’re made for each other, they truly do deserve one another.
And the stunning bit is, that they are finally at the same page, that they are finally at a point where they can be together.
There are ZERO expectations between them by this point. No fears either, Mira even said they’ve been through the worst that could have been, there is nothing to fear. There are no obligations between them, all that exists between them now, is their mutual deranged and complicated love and it will continue to exist.
Neither of them ever truly wanted to let go of the other and never truly did. They in ways moved on but they also didn’ and now that Jonathan finally let go of the pretense that he is sitting on a morally higher horse than everyone else, than his own wife, they technically don’t need to let go of what they have or what they are doing ( IF we leave aside here who they’re potentially hurting with it, which includes Jane and Ethan but also Ava, that is. ).
Their love, their relationship is as fucked up, as wrong, as it is beautiful.
I loved the episode, from start to finish. I loved the entire show from start to finish. It’s beautiful, a masterpiece. Both Jessica and Oscar made Mira and Jonathon so human in their awfulness and in their flaws that they become relatable, that they become impossible to hate, even if you want to hate them.
I no doubt will binge through the show for the next few days, weeks, probably until further notice... And bring forward one or the other thought and discovery?? But yeah, Scenes from a Marriage was one hell of a ride and I loved every second of it.
I’m still just so floored?? I wish I could watch it all for the first time!!!
Also phew, of course this got long! Thanks for bearing with me and letting me scream about the show and Mira and Jonathan, much appreciated ♡♡♡
Scenes from a marriage poli is cute but isn't Oscar issac
That is VERY true, but I can see what Mira saw in Poli. He's attractive, he's driven by his career, which Mira was too. He was and is the complete opposite of Jonathan and that's why she went for him because he was that breath of fresh air she so desperately needed — not that that excuses her cheating but Poli did give her something that Jonathan at the time didn't.
He saw her, for who she was or wanted to be. He saw her as the powerful and independent woman she fought to be, which Jonathan didn't. Which is why she did go with him. Ultimately though, and we know that now, was she despite all never able to let go of Jonathan completely. Not during her relationship with Poli and not after it. So if you want to put it that way, Jonathan “ won ” because even though Poli did try in the end, Mira ultimately chose Jonathan.
I cannot wait for your analysis of the scenes from a marriage finale
I got your message this morning before I even saw the episode and already was super fucking excited for writing my analysis before having seen it and BOY was I blown away!!! — Again, thank you!!! It means the world that someone actually cares for my ramblings!!!!
And seriously?? The final was beautiful in so many ways?? I have seen it five times now and wouldn't I have desperately needed a nap I'd already have thrown out my analysis BUT like last week that has to wait until after the movies.
All I can say for now is, before rambling too much, is that I absolutely loved every second of it. Mira is finally at a place where she is happy and at piece with herself and it’s not pretense or whatever, no, she IS happy Jonathan too, in his own rather twisted way and that they manage to find a piece of happiness in each other again — no matter how morally wrong that my be on SOMEONES side was just?? Honestly I had no clue what to expect from the final and yet it was everything and so much more!!!
I can't wait to get home and type out my thoughts!!!!
Thank you for the message <3 Really means a lot!!!
Had Ava heard the entirety of their argument? Oh, she definitely had, even if she never said anything about it. Jonathan watches her close her eyes, looking so peaceful and innocent. He can only hope she feels that way too or the guilt would consume him. Kids shouldn’t pay for all the mistakes the parents make… and this is the biggest mistake he and Mira are making, even when she can’t see it. This is why he is convinced they’re not in the same boat, Ava, Mira and him. Maybe the current of the stream dragging them flows from the same source, but they’re all in different boats.
“ Make way, for whatever will be, will be… between the Sandman, the Brakeman, and me… ” he keeps on singing for her and then starts to hum the melody softly. She’s loved the sound of his voice ever since she was a little baby. He would sing to her until she fell asleep. Maybe he couldn’t make this whole shitshow disappear and be over, but he at least can try to ease her unspoken questions about all the changes that they had been putting her through, to comfort her to the best of his capabilities. This is the last thing he ever wanted for her, a broken home. Jonathan tries to keep all his thoughts on her, at least for the moment, he’s conscious Mira is waiting behind those walls, but he knows focusing on Ava is good for him, for both of them. To keep him grounded and remind him of what was truly important. It is funny how Ava kept on growing into her own person separate from everything, she no longer was a reminder of Mira or their lost family.
He tucks a small lock of red hair behind her ear and kisses her forehead, letting her sleep again, he gets up very slowly making as little noise as possible. Once he makes sure the soothing sounds of rain coming from her tablet keep on playing, he sneaks out of their room and finds Mira is still standing in the place she was before he left. Playing that message for her was a low blow, but he had to make sure she knew he’s not playing any of her games, he’s not falling for her manipulations. When their eyes meet, he can’t tell what she’s thinking anymore, so he waits for her to say something since his actions had already said enough.
Jonathan raises a brow and scoffs, running a hand through his hair. He can’t believe her and now she’s just making him laugh, still, he isn’t surprised. “ Yeah, because that doesn’t sound like you, right? You’d never run away from a house to leave for another one when things are not how you wanted them to be. ” His words are calculated and cold but he keeps his tone low since Ava is a light sleeper. “ But you know what? You’re right, why would I ever think that? All you keep talking about is how—how terrible all those years together were for you. Who, in the right mind, would want to go back to that? ”
The fuck you, rests on her tongue, almost making it past her lips. The thought to just grap her clothes and walk out suddenly is a very welcome one. What did he know. Nothing. That’s fucking what. Leaving stays a thought, she should have just left when he had been occupied, should have just ran while he was with Ava. Would it have been fair? No. Would it have aided their situation? Absolutely not. Would it have been easier? Most definitely. “ Honey no, that’s not what—- ” the term of enderment doesn’t slip past her lips the first time. It’s comfortable as much as it is force of habit and perhaps there is a part of her that wants to kick herself for that but she likes the way the word tastes far too much to acknowledge that.
He hadn’t listened to a single word she had said. Frustration follows that realization. “ Yeah, ” she sighs “ Who? ” she suddenly feels ridiculous for even considering telling him that Poli liked the idea that she had wanted Jonathan and Ava to accompany them, to accompany her to London. “ So you knew Poli was gone? ” her jaw sets, pushes forward. She doesn’t like being played like that, doesn’t like that one fucking bit He knew all along and still he had insisted that she stays, that she has some more wine. That fucking asshole!
“ I can’t—- I can’t do this. ” she blindly reaches for her clothes only to wind up with her water glass in hand instead and for a moment she stares at her hand and the glass in it. She still wants to leave but also she doesn’t—- she can’t. Her movement when she heads for the sink to refil it are both a little stiff and a little rushed. She lingers there, her back turned to him. Her armour is gone. The dress, the make up. She feels bare, exposed in just his shirt—- “ I never said our years together were terrible. ” her voice breaks down to a whisper. “ They weren’t. ”
Okay, here it goes. Episode Four of Scenes from a Marriage and it’s been less than 24hrs and I have rewatched the episode what, five times? Some scenes I’ve rewatched more than that :’) and I just??? That fucking show, these fucking characters??? Spoilers ahead, behold! — and this is long, I apologize in advance!!!!
One of the two major takeaways from the episode is that they are BOTH so incredibly awful to and for each other, and that they bring out the FUCKING WORST in each other. The sadest part is that they cannot be with but also not without one another even if it means hurting each other. And — and this is absolutely fucking tragic, the other major takeaway is that they STILL haven’t learned to communicate with each other. It’s been ( roughly ) FOUR FUCKING YEARS!!! ( In the first episode Mira is not yet 40, so she’s still 39 and now she is 43 and a half so give or take four years have passed since the first episode ) And yet all they kept constantly doing throught the episode was to ACCUSE the OTHER of not listening and not being able to communicate. Like they BOTH are aware of the issue but neither attempts to work through it??
Wow, just wow.
Those two are just, I don’t even have the words???
Like, where the fuck do I even start???
Mira already dragged her feet about the divorce in Episode Three, she wasn’t willing and ready then and maybe she hadn’t noticed the why yet but she wasn’t ready for a divorce then and she sure as hell isn’t ready now, even if she struggles to admit that out loud once prompted by Jonathan.
Again, Jonathan’s calculating and cold side jumped out. Like the scene, with them on the couch?? With Mira asking if he would be able to marry her again and then getting all quiet after her “ We’re fucked ”, like Jonathan KNEW that she still wanted him, he knew that when he invited her into his arms and she happily curled against him and he knew that when he started touching her. He was the initiator and he went quite aggressive about it ( which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, pretty sure it came as a welcome surprise to Mira though ), he knew she wanted him and he very much wanted her.
Mira asking him to stay after, to not immediately go, showing herself vulnerable and at the same time content in his arms, man that was a glimpse into their sex-life during their marriage ( that gets expanded later on but more on that in a second ). She knew he’d rush to get up, NOT because he regrets what they did but because he feels the need to clean himself — now I don’t know if this is rooted in his religious upbringing and something he simply cannot shake or if it’s something else but either way it must be a fucking awful feeling to have your partner rush to clean himself after you just had sex. No doubt humiliating too in a way, so no wonder she asked him to stay and I wonder how often she had done that before, you know to have that kind of soft intimacy?
Their marriage was broken in so many ways & aspects. I know we only got to see the tip of the iceberg but holy fuck.
Mira telling him she got fired, or, asked to resign and going back to explain that it was bound to happen after she didn’t take the promotion and Jonathan getting defensive IMMEDIATELY, to the point where she HAS TO tell him she isn’t blaming him and that this isn’t what it is about is such a perfect example of them STILL not having learned to communicate with each other. I have no fucking clue how they got through the settlement conversations if all they do is either hear what they want to hear or only hear half of what the other says and then interprete it in a completely different direction because they didn’t listen to the rest. Like, it has been ( give or take ) FOUR FUCKING YEARS and they still haven’t learned to communicate.
No wonder they never fucking sorted through any issue they had prior to Mira cheating on him and leaving him since they just don’t know how to fucking communicate.
Okay back to Mira telling Jonathan she has lost her job. It fucking sucks. I can see where she is coming from, she gave them their all, she put her marriage on the line, the relationship with her daughter and how did they thank her for it? By asking her to resign when she no longer gave them their all but took time to work on her relationships and spend time with her daughter.
It’s a bit of a tragedy, that she wanted it all and for a split second she had it, only for her to lose it all in the end. Losing her job drives the point home that she has officially lost everything. I mean, sure, Mira escaped from her marriage into her career, because in her career she didn’t feel the need to make herself small in an effort not to emasculate anyone, which is how she felt in her relationship with Jonathan and while losing the life she had with Jonathan was bearable, at first at least, she still had her job, she still had the security of that. The knowledge that she was good at what she did and needed there, but now she has lost that too and is watching her life spinning out of control. ( She’ll probs get a nice settlement and will still be well off but still, it stings ) It takes her a little while to admit but she felt like she was being replaced by someone younger, by someone more fun which is why she takes such offense later when Jonathan mentions that they’re older ( we’ll get to that ).
That no doubt hits hard and Jonathan takes THAT FUCKING MOMENT to tell her, no less than thirty minutes after they had sex, that he no longer feels anything for her? That he no longer cares? ( And later he even expects her to be happy for him? What the fuck man?? ) Like don’t get me wrong I understand where he comes from, because it is no doubt liberating to him to have reached that point — BUT fucking her to try and prove to himself he is okay without her? C’mon that’s a low fucking blow and to rub it in her face when she’s already on the ground isn’t much better.
I mean sure she asked, but what the fuck man?
It’s no fucking wonder that she lashes out. She’s hurt. He hurt her so she tries to hurt him in return. They truly do bring out the worst in each other. Also, I absolutely love that she calls him out, that she asks if he only fucked her to prove to himself he doesn’t love her anymore and the hilarious part is that Jonathan doesn’t even acknowledge it because he knows that she has a point.
She isn’t wrong when she calls him a narcissist and says he doesn’t give a fuck about how, what he says makes her feel. At the same time, I love that Jonathan has reached a point where he can meet Mira as an EQUAL — bc they both are fucking egocentric narcissists but also, because that is what she needs. Someone who is her equal, which I think Poli in many ways is, the fact that they’re fighting and going to couples counseling at least speaks for him being able to call her out on her BS which for the longest time Jonathan wasn’t able to ( but Poli isn’t Jonathan and he isn’t who Mira wants, yes yes we’ll get to that ) which is what I think he aims for when he tells her he has detached himself from her enough to still be able to enjoy her and her company but to no longer be as emotionally dependent as he once was. He just choses the wrong fucking moment??
It’s a given that Mira lashed out and tried to hurt him and she hit a fucking nerve, Jonathan wouldn’t have gone off the way he did, if she didn’t. I mean it fucking stings to be told that she wasn’t sexually fulfilled — as if he wouldn’t know that already since she cheated BUT STILL and that she felt the need to hide a part of herself and instead of acknowledging that and listening to what she says — or to communicate, how he chides her what, five minutes earlier? He goes on and talks right over her, aiming for the same topic but from a completely different angle.
They can’t fucking communicate.
And man, despite everything, Mira STILL can’t bring herself to sign the papers even though he told her pretty much directly that he no longer wants her?? It’s tragic that she realized now, where Jonathan is done, or claims to be at least, that she isn’t.
She NEVER was fully available to Poli, no matter how hard he tried and how much he wanted to have a relationship, a family with her because she was still too hung up on Jonathan, because she couldn’t let him go, because even though she cannot be with him, she cannot be without him. The worst part is that she realized that she rather holds on to Jonathan than to try and build a family with Poli when she went to couples counseling with him. When she did with Poli what Jonathan asked her to do before she grabbed her things and ran.
And all that Jonathan WANTS to hear is that because she got dumped ( and lost her job ) she comes back running to him. Which is not the fucking case, she says that Poli took longer to accept that the relationship was over. If anything, Mira left him and she left him because she rather gives up on a future with Poli than giving on Jonathan. And it’s sad that, she is honest and vulnerable in that moment because she truly opens up and reveals something of herself and all he chooses to hear ( which is understandable considering where they stand BUT STILL ) is that she got dumped and chooses to come running back to him when she has wanted to come back to him this entire time but she’d been too blind to see it or acknowledge it— even though IT WAS OBVIOUS as fuck. I mean she even tells him that she has zero desire for a fresh start, that she wants what she used to have and I don’t think she would want her job back and would want to live in the marriage the way they did before she cheated but she wants back what she and Jonathan once had, because she still loves him and she knows he still loves her.
Jonathan pushing Mira right after they had sex to sign the settlement drives home the point that he is seemingly done. You know, one last fuck, a nice dinner and that’s it. When in truth he pushes her to sign the papers because he tries to convince HIMSELF that it’s for the better. I mean he tells her he is ready to tear the settlement up instead of signing them, but at the same time he knows they need to sign it because at the point they’re at right now, they would no doubt destroy each other would they go back to each other.
What I thought was interesint, was that he signed the papers only after Mira did, which I thought the entire time he had already done and that he was only waiting for her to do the same. Funny, that he pushed her to do something he hadn’t done himself yet, right? Looks like Mira isn’t the only one still hung up on what they once had.
And god, when he tells her he wants another child and that he is thinking about doing it without the attachment of a relationship and Mira asks if he thought that she might want to give him another child?? Like?? Girl why would he? Why would he even consider you? I understand fully why he didn’t but I get too why she asked because SHE IS still very much hung up on Jonathan, she had just made that much clear with telling him she chose him over Poli and the fact that she is ready, in a heartbeat, to give him another child, which is what she had denied Poli just underlines that??
And then she takes offense when he points out that they aren’t young anymore because she takes it as an insult ( considering the day she had I understand that though ) and because the concept of HIM having a child WITHOUT HER whether or not a romantic relationship is involved is one she doesn’t like one fucking bit, which is why she lashes out the way she does.
They bring out the absolute fucking worst in each other and yet they can’t get away from one another. Can’t be without each other.
I’m not saying that they’re prone to violence, but Jonathan had manhandled her before, when he wouldn’t let her pack her own suit case and pushed her away. They truly bring out the worst in each other. Neither Mira’s nor Jonathan’s actions here are excusable. They BOTH are just fucking awful and they reach their breaking point in that moment. And it’s awful and it’s painful, and they still love one another, which is the worst fucking part.
Like when Jonathan leaves, he for a moment looks ready to turn around and go back, to not have things end that way. Even now, even after that, they still cannot let go of each other. They can’t with and they can’t without each other.
Jessica and Oscar delivered again. I have no fucking words. Their skill and talent is unmatched. That last scene broke me and knowing it was them without a stunt coordinator hits even harder because they just fucking went for it?? And delivered this?? My heart is still bleeding.
HONESTLY, there is so much more that I could say but this already got super long hdhfjdkskdhf ( I’m sorry!! ) I’ll probs make another post soon because I got so many thoughts BUT STILL. What the fuck was that episode??? It feels so final?? So, well and truly over that I have absolutely no fucking clue what to expect from the next and actual final episode?? I just know that I need it NOW even though I’m terrified as fuck.
Not me waiting for your analysis of episode 4 of scenes from a marriage 👀
This means a lot!!! Thank you so much!!! I swear I cannot stop talking about Scenes from a Marriage, or Mira and Jonathan or Jessica and Oscar. My poor friends, they haven’t even watched the show ( bc it’s not out in Germany yet / they don’t have Sky ) and they have been subjected to my monologues so I it makes me incredibly happy that someone wants to read my ramblings about the show!!!!
I've rewatched the episode five times in the span of the last 12hrs and napped in between ( bc I got up at 4am to watch it ), and boy do I have MANY thoughts!!! I’m off to the movies now but once I’m home I’ll sit down and give you all my thoughts!!
All I can say for now is that they’re both incredibly fucking awful. Mira and Jonathan can’t with and not without each other. And they STILL haven’t fucking learned to communicate ( which makes me want to fucking scream!!!! ) but more on that later, movies first ♡
Oh and, it goes without saying but Jessica & Oscar as fucking always were incredible!!!
Thank you so much for your message!!! Now I want to share my thoughts even more xD ( like, I’m contemplating risking being late to the movies in order to write them )
I love reading your thoughts on HBO's Scenes from A Marriage! I'd like to know your comments about the scene when Jonathan played the voicemail of Poli to Mira. Do you think why he did that?
Oh!!! Thank you so much!! I absolutely love love love that show and I literally can't stop to talk or think about it — I have subjected my poor friends to monologues on the brilliance that is Scenes from a Marriage & Oscar’s and Jessica’s performances of Jonathan & Mira which are so so so so so fucking brilliant!!! I’m glad someone enjoys my constant ramblings! :D
That is an excellent question because I have thought about that, a lot!
Both the fact that he plays it to her and when he plays it to her are interesting. Because Jonathan had that voice message the entire time, leverage over Mira in a sense. He knew this entire time that she and Poli were struggling. When she mentioned him and Ava coming to London with her, HE KNEW that there was a massive possibility for Poli not to come with them. When Mira kisses him and tells him how much she wants him he knew that she said that to him while she wasn’t sure where she stood with Poli and when she asks him if his decision about London would change anything, if Poli wouldn’t come and he asks what Poli has to do with anything, HE FUCKING KNEW!!!
With the amount of times, I have rewatched the episode and with that re-listened to the voice message, I think that Poli is done — how he puts it, because Mira hasn’t been fully available to him since their relationship started because she or a very strong part of her is still very much hung up on Jonathan. He points out they’re still legally married, he indicates that whatever happens, happens, because since Mira & Jonathan are still married, it wouldn’t even be cheating, would it? Not officially, morally perhaps but not officially ( basing this on how Poli argues the message ). He says too that Jonathan can play the voice mail to Mira because she knows all of this. There is a VERY fat chance they fought over this, about Mira still being married and not having filed for divorce yet, let alone started the process. She no doubt told him too that she would like for Jonathan and Ava to come to London with her/them and it’s a fair guess that he isn’t keen on that. You know he is technically speaking still an affair, since they are still legally married, since Mira has made no move to end their marriage officially. Which no doubt there, he isn’t pleased about at all. In their convo about Ava, where Jonathan asks if Poli dropped her off — knowing he had that voice mail put his question into a different light too, and later on the little bean mentions that Poli makes her pancakes and asking for him, speaks for him really trying and it no doubt sucks that even though he REALLY IS trying and it has been A YEAR since Mira left Jonathan, and yet she still isn’t divorced, still isn’t fully his ( because she still very much is hung up on Jonathan ).
The most important part of the voice message, which ties to Jonathan asking what Poli has to do with anything, and which is why I think Jonathan showed it to her, at least the major part of it, is when Poli says he would be the last to stop Mira from going back to Jonathan. Because it’s not Poli that’s holding her back, it’s Mira. Mira not having worked out her issues, not having addressed the root of her problems she ran instead of doing that and now tells herself she has found freedom in being alone, that she isn't attached to anyone. You know what not getting attached means? It means constantly being on the run.
I mean, she showed Jonathan she still very much wants him and showed him with that, that there very much STILL IS a possibility for them to get back together and by showing her that voice message and what Poli said, he shows her that he KNOWS that it’s her holding herself back and not Poli keeping her in a relationship.
Yes, of course, part of him showing her the voice message is to show her what he knows, with a bit of " Look what I knew along! " about her and her troubles with Poli and I don’t know if Jonathan assumes she does have these issues with Poli because of him BUT his question about what Poli has to do with anything, drives home the point that he knows and perhaps always knew, it’s her, and only her.
Now the timing of when he shows her this message. He goes on this monologue about what they had and how it was a miracle and that they are throwing it away. In this whole monologue, he doesn’t use past tense. He’s not talking about what they threw away, he isn’t saying it’s over. He isn’t saying that they’re done. He is saying that they're in the process of losing everything.
And him showing her that voice message RIGHT AFTER all of that, right after she struggles with herself, between walling and pulling back further and opening up and acknowledging what’s truly the problem — her “ I can't ” can be interpreted in so many different ways, but still!! The timing of him telling her that right then and right there is him telling her that he KNOWS she wants him back, that he knows Poli wasn't the reason why she left and isn't the reason why she hasn't come back to work on their, on her issues, it’s also an invitation, that if she really wants to work on things, that he is willing to try.
Because, what’s Poli got to do with anything?
I'm sorry this got so long fhghfjjksgds!!! BUT!!! Thank you so much for the question!!!!
Some more Scenes from a Marriage thoughts, because I don’t love myself enough! Behold, spoilers ahead!
Mira never gave Jonathan a true chance to notice how horribly she had been suffering, how miserable she was. She had gradually detached herself from him, walling bit by bit, keeping first small things from him and eventually everything she deemed didn’t interest him. She struggles with Ava, she loves her, she does, but she still feels like she fails her daughter. She does feel that way because she lacks the time, because is constantly stressed one way or another when she is around her and because she feels like she is missing far too much.
She tries not to blame Jonathan for that, but I’m sure she does. She sees him interact with Ava so easily, so effortlessly, and she gets jealous. Of course she does, but instead of talking with him about it, Mira bottles everything up. The one moment she tries to lets him in, Jonathan is so used to superficial statements from her side that he absolutely misinterpretes her.
When she refuses to tell the story of how they met in the First Episode and questions why it even matters, she does so not because she doesn’t care but because she feels like she no longer is that person she was when they got together. There no doubt is a part of her that is glad about that, but there also is a massive part of her that misses that. She still loves him, she isn’t lying when she said she never stopped.
Sure, part of the reason why she comes back and tries for more is to get her ego stroked, to hear that he STILL wants her just the way she still craves him. Her struggles with Poli aren’t what is sending her back to Jonathan, she is having trouble in her relationship with Poli because she still is hung up on Jonathan. Because she cannot let go. They could have long since seperated, in Episode Two when she leaes him she is utterly keen on that. Now a year has passed and she hasn’t moved an inch. When Jonathan brings their divorce up in Episode Three she says “ Sure, if it’s important to you. ” she is not keen on getting a divorce and it’s an assumption since we’ve seen nothing of Poli but the voice message, I doubt he’s pleased about that. By definition he’d still be the affair. Perhaps that’s why he points out in the voice message that they’re STILL legally married, along the lines of, whatever happens happens.
Also Mira claiming she has accepted that she’ll always be alone and that it’s freeing??
She WANTS to accept that so badly because she wants to be able to be alone with herself, to be content with herself and Jonathan telling her that he knows as much and that he also knows that she can’t, fucking hurts. When she tried in the kitchen, to put into words that there is something seriously fucked up with her, I wonder if for once she would have been honest with herself and would have told him what she truly feels and why she struggles so much, wouldn’t he have interrupted her with the voice message.
And honestly?? Jessica and Oscars performances?? Absolutely stellar!!! I am blown away every time I sit down to rewatch ( or look at seperate scenes because I just realized something ).
Take the scene when they’re kissing in Episode Three for example, when she leans in but hovers just within reach, giving him the choice to either pull away or close the gap. The way she flinches away when he reaches for her because she fears he will push her away?? But when he doesn’t she leans in again, closing the gap but she is only doing that, she isn’t touching him. Then when he is the one closing the gap, after she pulls away, she finally reaches for him, pulls him closer, pulls herself closer to him because he’s told her of what she was afraid of he wouldn’t say. He told her he still craves her. ( stellar gifset for reference )
Never thought a show would encapture me to the point where I do nothing but analyze it and think about ( since three weeks mind you ) BUT HERE WE ARE. Sunday / Monday Morning cannot come fast enough!!!
Appendix A: Francisco “Paco” Scaramanga. Made his way to the United States from Naples at age 16, no records of him before this trip exist. There he found employment as an enforcer for the The DeCavalcante family. Over the years, having made a name of himself, he started his own businesses. In the spotlight, Scaramanga presents himself as a man of humble origins, without formal education. He has claimed science was never his strong point and he now uses some of his wealth to finance research and development of technologies in medicine and healthcare and the energy crises.Some of his known associates are the environmentalist enterprise, Dominic Greene. More information is required about his remaining contacts at the East Coast. Sources: Own archives and scanty research from the CIA, Washington.
A rather pristine file for someone who looked to expand his international crime organisation into the Caribbean and a smuggler, not to mention he was one of the most dangerous murderers Bond had encountered so far. The corpse before him corroborated that, one of Scaramanga‘s associates. After the charity gala from a night before, Bond had followed the man and apparently he hadn’t been the only one. When the British agent returned in the morning and had entered the room, Anders was already dead, and there was nothing useful in his personal belongings. Luckily for Bond, he had another lead: Ana Moralis, one of the organizers at the gala dinner. If anyone knew the two men he had seen chatting with Scaramanga in private, it was her.
“ Sorry I’m late, I reached a dead end, ” he apologised as he kissed her cheek, referring to his unfortunate finding from less than an hour ago. James was wearing a plain white shirt under a Tom Ford black cardigan, warm light brown trousers, dark brown Church’s Ryder III suede ankle boots and some aviator sunglasses with smoke blue lenses, a rather casual look but still sharp-dressed as anyone who deals with large sums of money representing a potential major investor, and yet appropriate for the occassion. “ A better guide? I wouldn’t think that possible, ” he assured her with his best smile. “ I just hope we still have enough time. ”
A dead end. It’s something about his tone of voice, about how he uses the words that doesn’t sit right with her—- “ You got lost? ” she plays dumb, because how else would she interprete his response. “ If you did then a tour is definitely necessary. ” Celia jokes, unpromptedly taking his arm, hand resting on his bicep when she leads him off. “ You almost sound like you need to be elsewhere? ” she questions, making sure she sounds just the right amount of upset about that.
His boldness—- and she can’t deny she is impressed by that, of giving her his actual name. Not even a cover, no his actual name. Granted she is grateful because that allowed them to go digging through his past. Quite the interesting file... what wasn’t concealed at least. An MI6 agent, they weren’t fucking around. She is curious how much he already knew. Had he seen through her cover? Did he know who she was? “ Because, ” she continues, leading him down the street “ I was thinking nothing rushes us? And we have all day? ” she turns towards him, a hopeful expression adorning her features “ Although if you do have plans I will adjust the tour I had planned for us... ”
She should have KNOWN he would insist to tag along—- Celia had been surprised he hadn’t insisted on accompanying her the first time around she had been nominated. She would have hated to be trapped with him instead of rushing home to Evelyn. Perhaps he had respected that because he knew how much Evelyn meant—- had meant to her. This time around however... there was no one to rus home to, no one to celebrate with. “ They will talk, ” she offers, fingers soothing along the black dress she would wear for the evening. Curve hugging, low cut back and a high slit—- she was bound to turn heads. If they wouldn’t talk about WHO the mysterious man accompanying her was, then they for sure would talk about the dress. “ We will make headlines, ” hair and make up had long since gone, they were just waiting for the driver by this point.
She turns for him, the hint of a smile curving along her lips “ But that’s what you’re HOPPING for, isn’t it? ” that, and a WIN. Another thropy to add to the collection. To hers, as much as his.
Final Girl Support Group verse; — if you haven’t read the book I highly reccomend you do. It’s incredible. The General plot follows a support group of women that were the “ final girl ” of a masacre as teens. Masacres that kicked off slasher franchises left and right and years later they get hunted & killed one by one. OKAY, THE VERSE.
Cecelia Jamison was the sole survivor of what tabloids called the “ Sleepover Slaughter ”. The invitation by her best friend, by her girlfriend was nothing out of the usual. The two of them lacking the boy-troubles their friends faced, they were cuddled together, doing each other’s nails, listening to Tessa’s story about her break up from Mark, when said ex boyfriend broke into June’s childhood home. Her older brother, asleep on the couch, had no chance. Neither had Kim. They cut her throat before anyone managed to question what they wanted. The girls burst apart, running to hide, desperate to escape.
June and Cecelia stuck together and Celia is sure they both would have made it, wouldn’t her love have made a run for the phone in an effort to notify authorities. Celia doesn’t remember anymore if she screamed or not, but knows she had grabbed the nearest object and tore it over Mark’s head. A struggle ensured, Celia tumbling through the glass coffee table. She was sure it’s over, when he manages to grab the knife before she gets to it but then she gets a hold of a large glass shard and moves faster than he does.
In the end what saves her life is, that June had called the authorities. They arrive just in time take out Stan, who had been aiming for Celia. The last thing she sees before her world goes dark, are June’s empty, lifeless eyes.
Recovering in the hospital — she had sustained a number of smaller and larger cuts on her back and shoulders, two broken ribs, a fractured wrist and she had lost a kidney too, one of the metallic stands of the coffee table had impaled her, or so they told her because she hadn’t even noticed it; Celia refuses to talk to the media. It’s her luck that Stan doesn’t talk either. They can’t sell her story, can only deal with what the police offers — which is very little.
She turns down offer after offer after offer, to turn her story into a movie, trying as good as she can to return to normalcy which is impossible without June by her side. “ You’ll get the story wrong anyways. ” she tells yet another studio executive with an exasparated sigh eight months after her crisis. When he offers her to tell the story herself, she takes it without a second thought.
Celia manages to build an albeit questionable career out of it. Sticking to the horror and slasher genre. The darker and bloodier the better. It’s her form of therapy but it traps her too, reliving that night forever in one form or another, every day for the rest of her life. The other Final Girls a are weary of her, because of how detached from the group and open she is about her crisis. She doesn’t care. She likes them still, flies in for every other meeting, every meeting if she manages.
When the other final girls get killed, one after the other, Celia knows it’s only a matter of time until whoever goes after them, will come for her too. She’s ready to die, but she’s prepared too. She won’t go down without a fight.
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