366 Days of Honesty

This started out as a celibacy challenge.  Now, I just want to be true. 

[celibacyissexy]

how do you honor the emptiness when you no longer feel empty 

how can we keep being empty

even when others fill us up

[celibacyissexy]

day by day

echoes of our love are piercing my ears

floors where we made love

kitchens where we made pizza

couches where we took naps

backyards where you held my hand

why does forgetting take so much time?

why do you become more of a myth the more time passes?

i don’t want you to become just another one of my stories.

i don’t want to be able to categorize you.

i want to honor your memory.

does that mean silence?

does that mean letting you be immortalized in poetry?

and slowly letting you leave my mind?

[celibacyissexy]

love is coming back

I did it.  One full year of not engaging with anyone.  Of being free.  Independent. of learning how to stand on my own two feet.  of not being intimate. everything is falling into place.  in life. in self. in family. in friends. in career.  and yet.  now love is knocking at my door again and it feels so right.  but im getting scared. trying to push through the fear and trust, trust, trust. 

[gentlechamomile]

Venus Retrograde Reflection: A Journey Back to Self + A Clearer Look at Relationships

Venus Retrograde was a beautiful, revealing, expansive and heart-opening time. In terms of love, many of us revisited past relationships. Old friends, bosses, co-workers and lovers suddenly appeared. Perhaps they reached out to us via text, randomly showed up at an event we attended or arrived as a reflection in our mind. In terms of love, Venus Retrograde was a period of closing up loose ends.

Sometimes we get caught up in the beautiful, idealized parts of a relationship and overlook the reality of a situation. We notice the times our partner was super romantic and caring, but skip over the times they subtly revealed they weren’t ready for the relationship we desired. In doing so, we project all unfriendly feelings onto us. We begin thinking that the relationship went wrong because of us. Maybe we could have done more or done less. If we said that one thing we were afraid to say, the whole relationship would have been different. The reality of the matter is - every action and inaction was perfect. Everything happened the way it was supposed to. At that point in time, both parties were operating to the best of their ability based on the mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and energetic space they were at. Those who seemed ready for love but didn’t show up truly weren’t ready — and that’s okay. People are either ready or journeying to readiness. “Almost ready” is not ready. You declare you’re ready for love to the Universe by remaining open. Not pursuing those unavailable for the experience of enchanted love. Their actions truly had nothing to do with you. You must set yourself free. You may think that you’re doing the right thing by holding them responsible for their inaction, but you’re really imprisoning yourself. Understand that you’re choosing dis-ease, unrest and unhappiness by resisting what is. Also, understand that you are the one who will set you free. Forgive yourself and forgive them. Reflect on what you’ve learned this retrograde and truly make peace with the past to enjoy the savory present moment.

** Venus went direct September 6th at 4:27 am.

For more astral insights + daily inspiration, Follow Brittany Josephina on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Soundcloud and Youtube.

[conciouslyawaken]

✌🏾️😝😍👌🏾😊

[alphavulpecula-deactivated20160]

I don’t know why I started crying while reading this.

[jcdamc]

Food for thought

[cocoagoddess331]

I wasn’t ready. Neither was he.

[yesterlove-deactivated20200216]

I’m in tears

[celibacyissexy]

💓

[celibacyissexy]

Day 338

No ones been inside my heart and body for 338 days. Feels like I'm climbing Mt. Everest. My insides are growing cold. I'm trying to light them with self-love...with the love of friends and family. With the love of my art and creativity, but I still feel cold. How is it possible to feel like you are on the brink of everything and nothing all at once? Like at any given moment something wonderful could happen or like everything will stay this way forever trapped in the limbo of solitude and longing? I've let people tiptoe near the entrance of my kingdom over the past 338 days, but no one gets inside. Not even when I want them to. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't even doing this challenge I would do the same. Not let anyone in. I want to run away from everything holding me back in this moment. My own fears. The unkindness of others. Day job black hole vortexes. I can transform all of these minor obstacles into triumphs, I know it. But, this feeling of being contained is blocking me from doing so. Having been to the shrine in months, my safe place. Haven't swam in the ocean for months. I will do it today. I will go to work for a brief flicker of a moment and then run to the ocean. My soul is screaming inside... I don't long for fame. I long for absolute creative abandon on the big screen. And small screen. And big and small stages and screens in between. I long for absolute financial freedom from working with people who do not truly know my worth as a collaborator. I long to be seen by those I respect and admire. To work alongside them. To have them be excited to work alongside me. I long to be loved and appreciated by a partner who is ready. And yet, I long for the thing I, myself, am not yet ready to give. I am still healing from what I believed was forever. My world has been rocked. Shifted. Thrown off balance. Six years diminished in several tiny instances. How will I ever love again? I know it's possible, but my god....I'm not anywhere near that possibility now. I must remember that. I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to be a friend to all, lover to none. I'm my own best friend now. My own partner. And staying true to what I am experiencing is essential throughout all of this.

[thecalminside]

Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.

Eckhart Tolle (via thecalminside)

Yes.

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[simple-capacity-deactivated2018]

via: (simple capacity)

[celibacyissexy]

What am I doing

[observando]

by deartomorrow

[celibacyissexy]

Yesss

[imisshowitwasbefore]

[celibacyissexy]

Selfie of my heart

[theglasschild]

The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever.

Carroll Bryant (via theglasschild)

👆🏼

[imisshowitwasbefore]

[celibacyissexy]

Current mood

[celibacyissexy]

First kiss

I was on that First kiss First bliss Cloud You were up there too Hearin all them first kiss First bliss sounds Like some otherworldly soul food Seconds turned to minutes Minutes hours became And suddenly a tiny spark at midnight Became dawn’s brightest flame We both felt at home Next to other’s skin Both felt at home In the mouths above our chins Both felt at home looking out a blocked window with a brand new moon You said you wanted to see me again And now our first night song has jangled out of tune Becauseeee one day became eight And there’s not a message or call in sight One day became eight and I’m trying with all my might To not question Or second guess myself For thinking that night was magic Because if I believe it was and that you did too? Your silence becomes tragic And I’m tired of holding on to someone else’s hope Tired of using other hands to hold my own when I can’t cope So I’ll sit here in the silence and forget what I thought we shared Cause homie…eight days is a long ass time to not let a girl know you care.

[wnq-writers]

You seem to forget there are things in this world I want more than you.

solitary-sister  (via wnq-writers)

Yup

[celibacyissexy]

286 days

Just saying

[celibacyissexy]

Rumi wisdom

Longing is the core of mystery. Longing itself brings the cure. The only rule is 'suffer the pain' Your desire must be disciplined And what you want to happen in time, Sacrificed

[celibacyissexy]

The months are flying by now

Focusing on me, finally becoming the woman I've always wanted to be. It's all flowing so naturally now. Meditation, prayer, writing, focus on all that I need to complete. Last night I dreamt of dolphins and whales in a pool. I wanted to swim with them but I was afraid to go in. The space was too small for all that majesty. I get waves of hyper sexuality. But I contain it now. It does not need to spill into someone who is not ready or worthy of it who could hurt me. Life is really good. Solitude is really good. Everything is unfolding effortlessly as I become more and more myself. Feel like I've been In a cocoon since 2006. I'm finally breaking free. I finally am a butterfly