As Iron Sharpens Iron, So Man Must Sharpen Man... @celinespenis - Tumblr Blog

How I'ma be when this comes on in 50 years

Guys really be out here thinking I won’t smash a wine bottle over their head

I recommend a beer bottle or a glass tumbler. Wine bottles are very hard to shatter, and you’re more likely to split a man’s skull open and cause permanent “attempted murder”-type brain damage, and you want to teach them a lesson not, like, become a convicted felon.

gaysexhaver666

Nice, Thanks for the tip! I’m not a pussy and i can bury a body, but this could help someone else!

the-memedaddy

meirl

goldiesugar

if I’m not sitting in pretty lingerie with a glass of champagne in a foreign place in the next 5 years I’ve failed

513-deactivated20160624

Your skin isn't glowing bitch you just oily

gfbaseball

Jason Heyward hits a walk-off grand slam - June 6, 2018

celinespenis

Heyward finally did something bout damn time

curls-and-courage

My favorite is people who send me unsolicited dick pics and then they’re like, “uh, hi? Are you ignoring me?”

It’s just so funny to me. Like one minute I’m designing bioreactors and getting published for heat dissipation in polymers and then I open this godforsaken app to dudes hanging brain who can’t even pronounce “saponification” calling me a slut because I won’t give attention to their limp excuses for existence.

3 billion years of evolution and the greatest form of communication you can conjure up in your fermented omelet of a conscience is submitting your wrinkly ball sac to a stranger on the Internet to substitute the attention your parents never gave their mistake of an offspring.