((screaming))

| I've got chipped black nails and a badder bitch than you do | I brought my knife to a gun fight | 'Cause you are my medicine, when you're close to me | 

[certified-asshole]

General Info and My Caard

Hey! Call me Ari/Salmon! My pronouns are he/they/rem. I’m 5′9″ (I GREW AN INCH ISH!!!!). I am a practicing witch, which can be found under #im a witch bitch. I am a plant parent, and I have a bunch of animals (3 cats and 3 dogs). I believe stongly in ACAB and BLM, and I will NOT debate them.

~

Sideblogs: @casanovasaquaduct @the-shovel-has-opinions @this-strider-is-soft @tarot-teaparty

Other blogs: @chaotic-cottage-aesthetics @platonic-f-o-things

Other Socials: (discord:) twiplesixdewete#1510 . (insta:) acabtarot . (twitter:) @rocks_are_rad .

Discords: | the f a m i l y | Hellhole |

~

Please tell me if you want something tagged, or if i reblog a post from someone that falls into my DNI (located in my caard).

My Caard is A WIP

~~~~

Cool blogs to follow: 

@kenobi-is-best @crumcy  @i-am-your-parental-figure-now  @honeymilkbeans  @sadboycomplex  @rudeness-sarcasm-and-cytoplasm  @cassettetapecryptid @three-small-lemons  @rainbluealoekitten  @emieee  @septicake  @bluestarsuniverse  @the-cecilia-rose  @meltingdoughnut  @scrambles-the-death-dealer  @alienvamp-hesitantflowerface  @starlight-avenue  @fightmeforanapple  @the-local-punk-devil  @mistythegirlfluxmess  @art--school--wannabe @im-just-tryin-to-survive-man 

theres so many more, but thats it so far.

[kiyokospeaks]

Gonna make a uquiz. that’s gonna blow tumblr wide open.

[kiyokospeaks]

owo

[kiyokospeaks]

It’s here. Choose some mediocre white men and I’ll tell you what kind of white men you attract.

[certified-asshole]

how do you unsay words

[certified-asshole]

uh oh :) here comes the derealization episode ive been bordering on for the past week :)

[certified-asshole]

You fool you are one of my tall friends muahaha

im your friend?? :0

[certified-asshole]

How is it being short?

fucking amazing homie

[certified-asshole]

I do that all the time to my tall friends lol

as you should!!!!! 

calling tall people short is SELF CARE!!!!!

[certified-asshole]

me, randomly: whats it like being SHORT

my bf who’s 6′1′’: *confused tall noises*

[imaveryevilgirl]

Okay

My power went out last night and I just remembered something:

Wires make a high pitched buzzing sound that is barely noticeable and you kind of forget about it until there's no power running through them

Or maybe that's just me idk

I CAN HEAR THEM IN THE DAMN WALLS

That's probably a movie quote

Maybe

I'd be surprised if it wasn't

God my mind is racing at mach 1

ANYWAY

Yeah you can hear the wires in the walls

[lesbianpwnieswithweapons]

That's a neurodivergent thing

Neurotypicals can't hear electricity apparently

[imaveryevilgirl]

Huh

[tolsleepgoddess-deactivated2025]

Weaklings.

[imaveryevilgirl]

<_< what

[tolsleepgoddess-deactivated2025]

Referring to neurotypicals

[imaveryevilgirl]

Ohhh

Yeah, weaklings! >:D

[bigtop-skies]

What do you call your nonbinary fiance?

[candyredterezii]

fuck your zodiac sign test bullshit I test our compatibility based on our assigned zodiac trolls.

[candyredterezii]

Ooh.. you’re an Eridan and I’m a Feferi.. 😬 yeah this isn’t gonna work out.

[wolfbeware]

my gf is a tavros,,,,,, i’m a vriska,,,,,,,,

[candyredterezii]

[certified-asshole]

bf’s status: talk to me

me: *talks to him*

bf: *doesnt reply*

[umbrellanumber5-deactivated2021]

Floor time babey

[certified-asshole]

mom said its my turn with the... the uh... um... the uhhhh..... fuck what was it

[certified-asshole]

mental support perfectly cooked cheese quesadilla 

[certified-asshole]

when does existing become fun again 

[certified-asshole]

hm..... relationships stinky