C'est La Douleur Exquise

  La Douleur Exquise: the exquisite pain of wanting someone that you know you can never have, and knowing that you will still try to be with them.   Supernatural Fanfiction. MCU stuff here, too. Other random fandoms and thoughts. I'm a mess and so is this blog but... would you have me any other way?

[pagesofivy]

B!!!! Congrats on 700! What an amazing achievement (especially considering all the crazy nonsense happening on this platform rn. Am I too late to get a ship? You know me pretty well so I’m interested to see which MCU hunk you’d pair me with. Love you boo!

Ambs!!! You’re not too late! They’re gonna be open for a while; basically until either they die down, or my birthday arrives (in two weeks), whichever is first! Honestly I’m also super impressed I made it to 700, because yeah, this site has become even more of a dumpster bin on fire than ever.

*eyes the list of MCU hunks critically*

I think I’m gonna ship you with Scott Lang? IDK I kinda wanna say Cap too. I’m stuck. So you’re getting both. Spoiled.

Because they’re both gonna adore how great you are with kids, and they’re both pretty damn good with kids themselves, in different ways. 

- Steve flashes the kids smiles, listens to their stories like what they’re saying is the most interesting thing on the planet, and give them good advice. He might even bench a few of them, just to make the kids laugh, or let them take turns sitting on his shoulders. Piggyback rides are his specialty. He’s the ultimate Dad that Everyone Loves and Wishes They Had

- Scott gets on the ground and plays with them. He roughhouses (gently, of course, so he doesn’t hurt them). He plays. He encourages their creativity and ingenuity, and will do whatever he can to make their crazy ideas come true (hello, the giant maze thing in Antman and the Wasp?!).

- Scott’s gonna try and lighten the mood at literally every chance he gets, because he’s a funny guy, likes cracking jokes and making people laugh. So when you’re having a rough time, he’s gonna do whatever he can to make you smile. He knows you have bad mental health days, and he’s gonna do everything it takes to make sure you have everything you need. Plus an army of ants to keep you supplied when he’s gotta be away.

- Steve understands bad mental health. Bucky Barnes, king of Broken Minds (and hearts) is his best friend, after all. He’s going to encourage therapy, encourage you to be honest about how you’re feeling, and he’s going to let you know you’re not alone. Hell, he goes to therapy too, though he doesn’t talk about it often. He constantly tells you there’s no shame in having bad days, in not always being perfectly okay, in not feeling like yourself. When you have a bad mental health day, he’s catering to whatever you need. However, if you need to be alone, he’s gonna be there. Maybe just outside the door, maybe in the chair across the room, but he’s not letting you actually be alone in a damaging way, ever. 

- Steve is a fuckin cuddle bug. And that comes up pretty early in the relationship. He loves holding you, stroking your hair, running his fingers up and down your arms/legs/wherever he can. He’s actually learning how to braid hair, secretly, so he can be running his fingers through yours and make something pretty out of his playing. 

- Scott doesn’t show a lot of physical affection, at least not in front of people, but he’s always holding your hand, when he’s not holding Cassie’s. Or Antony’s. And when you two are alone, he’s super needy and cuddly and just wants to be held. It’s the opposite of Steve, but it works just as well. And he’s still willing and wanting to cuddle you when you need it, he’d never deny you that!!

Ask me for a ship to celebrate my 700 followers!

[cestladoulerexquise]

Awww B!! You do spoil me and I honestly love this. Scott and I do have quite a bit in common and though I don’t think I would have ever shipped myself with him, it makes perfect sense. I would definitely fuck with that huge maze thingy he made for his kiddo and I think she and I would get along famously.

And you know Cap is my dude on main (my new favorite thing to say is that in a world full of Wade Wilsons, I’m looking for a Steve Rogers lol) but the reasons you gave just made my heart swell up. I used to love cuddling (it’s been far too long since I have had a proper cuddle) and having my hair played with so hearing that made me so happy. You know I would love to just get all tangled up with him in a mess of blankets and limbs. Giggling and listening to music and enjoying doing absolutely nothing but being close to one another. 😊

Perfection on all fronts my dear! Thank you for this! I needed it today. ❤️

[weheartchrisevans]

Chris Evans reads Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site for Cbeebies Bedtime Story.

[nonasuch]

Yesterday I overheard someone talking about how he was taking classes at the University of Maryland because they offer free tuition if you’re over 60. 

My brain IMMEDIATELY began scripting a screwball comedy in which a broke millennial who desperately want to finish his long-abandoned degree but is drowning in student debt pretends to be a senior citizen in order to attend college for free.

I’m picturing someone Channing Tatumesque, applying age makeup every morning before he heads off to class. It’s sort of a cross between 21 Jump Street and Mrs. Doubtfire. He keeps forgetting which hip is supposed to be his bad one. His classmates laugh every time he uses slang. There’s definitely a scene where he attends a college party and busts it up on the dance floor.

He catches the eye of a fellow returning student, a woman in her 50s, but she thinks he’s like 70 and she’s already buried one husband, you know? She’s not interested in doing that again. When his charade unravels (hilariously) at the end of the movie, though, she finds out he’s actually like 30 and has abs you could bounce a quarter off. And he’s still super into her. And really, maybe it’s time she gave May-December romance a chance.

[nonasuch]

Okay so to refine this concept a little:

Our Hero is stuck in a job where he keep seeing people get promoted past him because they have a 4-year degree and he doesn’t. He can’t afford to go back to school until he finishes paying off his student loans for the degree he’s one semester from completing. If he got the promotion he wants he could pay them off a lot quicker. But he can’t get the promotion without the degree.

Along comes a clerical error in his almost-alma mater’s records which lists his birth year as 1948 instead of 1984. He gets a call from them about their “free tuition for seniors” program. “Wow, that sounds amazing!” he says. “I’ll be sure to tell my, uh, grandpa, as soon as he gets home.”

It’s one semester. If he can keep up the charade, he’ll have the degree, get the promotion, pay off the student loans. Hell, if they figure it out after the fact and come after him for the tuition, he’ll be able to afford it by then. He just needs to pass as a 70-year-old until graduation. How hard could it be?

(also, someone in the notes suggested “Senior Year” for a title, which is PERFECT.)

[but-deans-back-tho]

*pounds fists on table* I DEMAND THAT THIS MOVIE BE MADE

[clintscoffeepot]

“Depression turns you into a series of nouns, without the adjectives and without the verbs. You don’t remember where you misplaced your descriptions, your actions … You become: bed, shower, socks, coffee, keys, obligations.”— A Series of Nouns

[tyrannyoftheurgent]

Comic book Clint is everything to me

[softlyspector-deactivated202408]

Three Times

Summary: Some people say things differently. Bucky learns how to say I love you. Y/N learns how to hear him say it. 

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Word Count: 2210

A/N: Thank you to @ficklemenagerie for sending me this idea! And thanks for reading, guys! Let me know what you think. 

“When I was little, three squeezes meant I love you. It meant that everything was okay,” she tells Bucky, her head resting against his shoulder as they watch the sun set on the horizon, casting the sea before them in shades of bright orange and navy blue.

As the late autumn sun sinks ever lower a cold breeze flows across the hotel balcony they sit on, both of them bundled in thick wool sweaters and warm scarves. The air is tinged with salt, the crash of waves rolling in the distance pressed against their ears. “My mom would take my hand and squeeze it three times and I would know.”

She squeezes his hand three times quickly, to demonstrate just how it’s done.

He nods, his cheek pressed to her hair, lips ghosting over her forehead. His answering hum is thoughtful and quiet, his arms tightening around her as another cold breeze shifts over them, blanketing them in a quiet chill.  

Y/N isn’t exactly sure how she came to be talking about her mother, or their little way of communicating, but it feels important. It feels important, she supposes, because Bucky rarely ever says I love you.  

Keep reading

[pagesofivy]

I’m not crying, you’re crying

[cestladoulerexquise]

Beautiful. He deserves this. We all do.

[conleches]

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

body language masterlist

a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

550 words to say instead of fuckin said

638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

some more body language help 

[bellero]

REBLOG TO SAVE A WRITER

[rhiannonfrater]

The redirect to these links aren’t working, so here they are for your convenience.

http://translation.babylon-software.com/

http://www.bryndonovan.com/2015/04/10/master-list-of-gestures-and-body-language-for-writers/

http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary

https://owlcation.com/humanities/400-Alternative-words-for-said     (The article says 550 words)

http://ideonomy.mit.edu/essays/traits.html

https://writerswrite.co.za/cheat-sheets-for-writing-body-language/

[stevieang]

Yes!!!! @nomadicpixel this is MORE than #wordporn this is #languageporn. Hotter.

[allegoriesandcarpenoctem]

A Man out of Time

[captn-sara-holmes]

Okay now I’m sad

[star-spangled-man-with-a-plan]

Closing the Loop: Four

Summary: Imagine, from the time you’re born having a clock that counts down to the time you meet your soulmate. One day you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes and the clock stops. Now, you have to figure out which one it is. Word Count: 2,003 Warnings: Language, talk of soulmates, possible smut, trying for a long burn. Author’s Note: Thank you @captain-rogers-beard for your invaluable help with this. GIF Credit [X]

Series Master List

My work is not to be posted on any other sites without my express written permission.

Never had you met two men that were as different as Steve and Bucky. While your date with Steve had been dinner, wine, a starlit walk, and a heavy makeout session, Bucky’s idea of a date was completely different.

B: Swimsuits, sandals, and sunscreen.

Y: Is that all you’re going to tell me?

B: Do you have a surfboard?

Y: No LOL.

B: A valid license?

Y: Bucky, tell me what we’re doing!

B: See you in the morning.

Keep reading

[star-spangled-man-with-a-plan]

Closing the Loop: Three

Summary: Imagine, from the time you’re born having a clock that counts down to the time you meet your soulmate. One day you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes and the clock stops. Now, you have to figure out which one it is. Word Count: 1,542 Warnings: Language, talk of soulmates, possible smut, trying for a long burn. Author’s Note: Thank you @captain-rogers-beard for your invaluable help with this. GIF Credit [X]

Series Master List

My work is not to be posted on any other sites without my express written permission.

For your date with Steve, you splurged a little by dipping into your savings and bought a dark blue - the sales clerk called it prussian - and shoulderless cocktail dress. It was the first dress you saw when you stepped into the store, and you knew you had to have it. There was one left in stock, and as luck would have it, it was a perfect fit; it was tight in all the right places, showcasing your curves.

With your hair pulled back and tied into a low bun, you applied a dusting of makeup. Once your desired look was achieved, a pair of earrings, rose gold strappy heels, and a small clutch completed the ensemble.

“Shit,” you mumbled, catching the time as you tucked your phone into the clutch. If you didn’t leave now and catch a cab, you were going to be late. Not exactly what you wanted to have happen on the first date with your potential soulmate.

Keep reading

[star-spangled-man-with-a-plan]

Closing the Loop: Two: Deleted Scene

There was something about the soulmate tattoos that hadn’t really been talked about much; you could only see your own while it was counting down. Once contact with your soulmate had been made, the tattoo disappeared from your skin in the blink of an eye.

Steve was staring down at his wrist, at the spot where the tattoo had once been, his thumb stroking over the area. He had spent countless minutes and hours watching the time tick away, wondering who fate would bestow upon him. Needless to say, it felt odd not having the numbers on his skin anymore.

“What’s goin’ on in that head a’yours, Stevie?” Bucky asked after dropping down onto the sofa.

“Nothing,” he mumbled with a shrug of his shoulders. “I just never thought we would end up having the same soulmate.”

Bucky shifted on the couch. “I didn’t either,” he admitted. “Are you, uh, having second thoughts to this?”

“No, no,” Steve argued, pulling down his sleeve. “I’m just… confused and, God, I feel like I’m going crazy every second I’m not with her.”

“I know the feeling,” Bucky mused, a hand running through his hair.

“This isn’t going to be easy, Buck,” Steve said once again.

Bucky glanced down at his wrist and sighed heavily. “It sure ain’t.”

Keep reading

[star-spangled-man-with-a-plan]

Closing the Loop: Two

Summary: Imagine, from the time you’re born having a clock that counts down to the time you meet your soulmate. One day you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes and the clock stops. Now, you have to figure out which one it is. Word Count: 1,329 Warnings: Language, talk of soulmates, possible smut, trying for a long burn. Author’s Note: Thank you @captain-rogers-beard for your invaluable help with this. GIF Credit [X][X]

Series Master List

My work is not to be posted on any other sites without my express written permission.

Only because it was really late and each of you had to work the next day, the three of you exchanged numbers before leaving the diner. Nothing about the situation had been discussed, therefore, no decisions had been made. If anyone wanted to talk, they had your number, and you had theirs.

“What the hell am I going to do?” you asked no one but yourself as you trudged across town to your small apartment. It wasn’t like you could date both of them, figure out which one was truly your soulmate, because there was no way in hell you could have two. Right? It wasn’t how things worked.

Keep reading

[star-spangled-man-with-a-plan]

Closing the Loop: One

Summary: Imagine, from the time you’re born having a clock that counts down to the time you meet your soulmate. One day you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes and the clock stops. Now, you have to figure out which one it is. Word Count: 1,610 Warnings: Language, talk of soulmates, possible smut, trying for a long burn. Author’s Note: Thank you @captain-rogers-beard for your invaluable help with this. GIF credit [X][X]

Series Master List

My work is not to be posted on any other sites without my express written permission.

Today was the day. You were going to meet your soulmate. Part of you hated the fact that you didn’t get to choose who you were going to spend the rest of your life with, the other part, well, that part was as excited as a sixteen year old that got her dream car for her birthday. She was jumping around, screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing confetti, and Jesus Christ, was she nervous.

What if he hated you or found you annoying? What if he thought you were too short or ugly? What if he was ugly? No… that wasn’t right. A man’s humor and brain were what you noticed first. Did it hurt if he was attractive? No. But you weren’t shallow.

It was difficult to focus, to go about your daily routine as if your life weren’t about to change, as if in three hours, you weren’t going to meet the one that you’d spend the rest of your life with. Were you always on board with the idea that you didn’t get to choose who you fell in love with? Hell no. But there wasn’t anything you could do about it. Everyone had a soulmate. It was just how things were.

Your parents found each other when they were toddlers, your sister and brother-in-law when they were in high school. It wasn’t a tattoo or an obscure feeling. It was an internal clock that started ticking from the moment you were born. A clock that counted down to the day, the hour, the minute, the very second that you would meet him.

Keep reading

[brolinjosh]

Transition from Bucky to the Winter Soldier:

01. longing: first word. trigger of the process. he screams, not from pain, but horror because he is still aware of what’s happening to him and knows what comes next. 

02. rusted: sense of hopelessness kicks in. realization that he cannot escape the chains, knowing he will turn into a puppet, a monster. 

03. seventeen:  tries to breathe, to stay focused, calm, to slow down the process, but knows it’s inevitable.

04. daybreak: first painful trigger. word that can be connected to the torture he is enduring or painful memory from the long lost past. tries with everything he has to hold onto his soul.

05. furnace: the winter soldier is trying to come to the surface, we see last real struggle of bucky barnes to stay himself.

06. nine: takes five words to delete bucky barnes from existence, but the process is not over just yet. pain is gone, and so are memories, heart, soul of someone who was not so long ago kind and loyal. the winter soldier hasn’t shown his face yet, this is in between phase, where shell of a human being is full of rage. wrath is first emotion that leads to the winter soldier.

07. benign: slowly becomes blank piece of paper that is ready for the last words before turning into a weapon. doesn’t struggle any longer, hands are not trying to break free, he is where he belongs.

08. homecoming: body is giving its all not to become the other, more vindictive, vicious, dangerous person. there is no bucky, just one last piece of conscious human mind trying not to give into torture. first sighting of the winter soldier. ultimate trigger that pushes him to the surface.

09. one: next to last stage. no conscious mind left. shaking and trembling have stopped. breathing slows down. machine is born.

10. freight car: words attached to his death, symbolize death of a human being, friend, brother, loved one, and birth of the weapon. every emotion, memory, sense of being self aware is buried deep down and it will take a long time before any of those resurface again. breathes in new air. eyes become dead. the winter soldier is ready for orders.

[sleepyclover-blog]

I eat romantic shit up. If I were asked to just sit on a roof and look at the stars id probably internally combust

[glitterprincessaf]

x

[angryschnauzer]

[jpat82]

Temperature

A/n: I said fuck it, listening to Sean Paul.

You saw him from across the crowded club, between the sweaty bodies pack in tight. All of them moving in unison in the dark, crossed with the flashing of green, red and blues strobes. The music heavy and bass pounded in time with your heart beat as he looked up from the turn tables, his eyes landing on you. Chocolate hair cropped close to his head, he had a pair of silver headphones hanging around his neck, his own body moving with the music. His crisp white tank under the white and black pin striped shirt that hung open reflected the lights that danced through the building.

You smirked to yourself watching his movements, you placed your empty glass on the counter behind you. You stepped away toward the dance floor, your heeled boots crossing in time with the music as you kept your eyes solely on him. The farther in you moved the heat spiked and you silently thanked yourself from wear the short strappy dress. You could see the corner of his mouth pull up into a lopsided grin as he watched you.

Slowly you came to a stop almost center of the dance floor, your body packed in tight with the throngs of men and women who were lost to the thundering of the fast paced song. Your body started to move, hips dropping in time with bass, your hands sliding up your body. His eyes racked over you body as his tongue flicked out across his lower lip. Your arms reached skyward and soon you too were lost to the beat, letting yourself loose.

It wasn’t long before you felt a pair of strong hands on your hips, pulling you roughly backwards. Most times you would of flipped shit but tonight you went with it. New places, might as well, you thought. Your hips swaying with the man behind you, his hand pressing itself flat against your lower abdomen. Casually you looked over your shoulder, blue eyes greeted you, chocolate hair and smirk. You looked back over to the DJ booth and saw that he was missing from there.

You didn’t think, you just went with it, hot guy wanted to dance with you who were you going to argue. His hands roam your sides, feeling, touching, caressing as the two of you move together. He hot breath fanning across your bare shoulder, he kept you close as you danced together. His body felt hard and toned against yours, no doubt this man was quite muscular for being a DJ. His arm wrapped around your waist, muscles in forearm cording as he held you close, his other hand sliding up yours.

He grasped your hand with a callous palm, pulling it over to the back of his head. His soft hair sliding smoothly between your fingers, you scraped your nails across his scalp before resting you hand on the back of his neck. He kept your back tight to his chest. Foreign countries, might as well live up the night with a handsome stranger.

“Fuck.” He whispered heavily in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. If it hadn’t been hot in here to begin with you were sure you were in hades by that point. He was American, you could tell by his accent but it didn’t matter, you would never see him again.

You carefully looked over your shoulder through you lashes, he was biting his bottom lip. Blue eyes dark with lust as he grinded himself into you, you could feel his arousal within his dark jeans. How the hell you got him so hot bothered, normally you would question it but tonight it made you feel powerful, sexy and bold. You bit you own lip, slowly turning in his arms to face him.

His eyes travel down you body, as he pull you flush against him. He smell of vanilla, spices and sin, he was intoxicating, and it was almost to much. You slid your hand up the nap of his neck, leaning in you allowed your lips to brush his. His gripped tighten, pulling you as tight as he could, his tongue flicking across your lips. You parted them allowing him access to deep the kiss, it felt like the air was being sucked right out of the room. You broke the kiss and smirked up at him.

“Maybe if this were some other time.” You whispered in his ear before turning.

Slowly you sauntered away, allowing each step of your heels to come down in time with remaining bass of the song thundering through the building. Each stride powerful and sexy, when you had come to this country you were at your low point but after tonight you knew you still had. You didn’t even look over your shoulder as you slammed your hands into the door throwing open the club doors, allowing the music to spill out around you.

Tonight had been about challenging yourself, reminding yourself, and empowering yourself. And your sexy mystery man had done just that.

@kitkatkl @octobermermaid @ajosieface @instantnoodlese @crystlblu @coffeebooksandfandom @thisismysecrethappyplace @the-wayward-robot @lokilvrr

[the-wayward-robot]

❤️

[sebbytrash]

Through His Eyes - Part Ten

Summary - Bucky arrives at the compound to start afresh but you and him have a somewhat colorful past, colorful being that you met him once before as The Winter Soldier and it did not go well. New beginnings, yeah? If you can learn to forgive.

Pairing - Eventual Bucky x Reader

Warnings - Guilt (Shocker), Sad stuff, the usual. 

A/N - Sorry its been ages, again, my pals. I had a big bout of writers block and then i started my new job etc (insert real life shit here) anyways, I hope you enjoy this part. will exchange feedback for nudes or nuggets

Through His Eyes Masterlist

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