“You kissed me on the playground the day before you moved away in the 4th grade and now your dorm is right across the hall from mine” AU
- (fullhomosapien)

Janaina Medeiros
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@cftragedies-blog
“You kissed me on the playground the day before you moved away in the 4th grade and now your dorm is right across the hall from mine” AU
- (fullhomosapien)
"No! I won't stop. For every minute of the rest of my life I will fight! I will never stop trying to get away from you."
( x ) || @cftragedies
“You say that as though you’re a fighter,” Adrian mused, stepping towards the girl. A hand reached out, backs of his slim fingers going to brush against her cheek, but stopping as she leaned away. He sighed. “Such a pity, really. You’re nothing like Heather. You’re boring, Dearest.” A soft chuckle rumbled in his throat as he looked at her, eyes turning dark. “It’s a shame, though, that you think your life is going to last any longer than this moment.” With that, Adrian stepped back, drawing his Glock and pointing it at her, right between the eyes. “What a waste of a pretty face.”
Fiona leaned away as Adrian reached out, slapping his hand away. “Don’t you dare think you can touch me.” She spat, taking half a step backwards. She faltered as he raised the gun, her eyes cold. Every Krav Maga class she’d taken raced its way into her mind, and though she knew it would likely do no good, she curled her hands into fists and raised them, ready to fight.
She wasn’t ready to die. Not here, not now, and not like this, God dammit. A smirk touched her lips, though her heart was racing a mile a minute, and she tipped her head to the side just so.
“I’m more than just a pretty face.”
The sight of her raising her fists caused Adrian to smile more, even if his heart did pick up in excitement. "Fists to a gun fight? That’s one I’ve never heard before.“ He paused for a moment, looking at her, then put his gun down. He stowed it back in its waistband holster, rolling his neck as he fixed his suit jacket. Hand clenching in to fists at his sides, he grinned at her. "Show me, then."
Of all the stupid ideas she’d had in her lifetime, trying to fight a man holding her at gunpoint with her fists was definitely one of the top ten. Top five probably. Fiona’s heart stuttered in her chest and she swallowed, watching as he stowed his gun away. She relaxed just so - it still wasn’t a fair fight, he had a fair bit of height on her, plus the gun was only a short reach way if he decided he got bored with their fight.
But she could handle fists. She knew she could. She could handle this. And if she was gonna die today, she wouldn’t die without a fight first, dammit. Fists at the ready, she looked him over for a split second, looking for anything that looked like it might be a weak point. Then she lunged.
SENTENCE STARTERS. Flirty/Suggestive/NSFW Edition.
Feel free to add your own.
“You’re really hot.”
“Oh, don’t mind me. Just enjoying the view.”
“You know, those/that ______ of yours are/is pretty distracting.”
“Hot damn.”
“So, you come here often?”
“Well, well. My night just got better.”
“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
“You have got a great ass.”
“Hey, I’m open minded.”
“You enjoying the view over there?”
“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”
“Don’t be bashful. You know you want to.”
“You can have me any way you’d like, baby.”
“You wanna move this conversation someplace more private?”
“I’m off in a few minutes, you know.”
“It’s been a long day. Why don’t we help each other unwind?”
“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”
“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”
“I wanna see you get naked.”
“You like how I bend over for you, huh?”
“You’re getting me all worked up.”
“What do we have here?”
“I see someone’s happy to see me.”
“Play your cards right, and I just might have to put you on speed dial.”
“You like that, don’t you?”
“How do you want me?”
“I’m sure we can put those lips to better use.”
“I want you. Right here. Right now.”
“God, you’re perfect.”
“I really like a man who’s good with his hands.”
“I’d be more than happy to show you a good time, if you’re looking for one.”
“I saw that. You just checked me out.”
“You look real good in that suit/dress/skirt/outfit.”
“You wanna help me out of this ___?” (Insert article clothing here.)
“Can I keep you?”
“You’re such a tease.”
“Oh my, looks like I/you dropped something.”
“I love it when you talk dirty.”
“I can’t stop thinking about your hands on me.”
“I think you’ll be happy to know that I’m not wearing any underwear.”
“I really want to take you home and get you out of all those clothes.”
“It’s like you want to ruin men/women for me.”
give my ladies some loooove
hi hello sorry i’ve been mia!!! work’s been kicking my ass and i’ve been exhausted coming home and my papa had a couple strokes so i’ve been kinda focused on that. i promise i’m here for good tho!
i saw!!!! civil warm!!!! im dying!!!!
Rom-Com Starter List
Friendship:
"I'm not washing vomit out of your hair again."
"Who do I need to punch?"
"Don't worry, I covered for you."
"You're seriously going out in that?"
"I don't think one bottle is going to be enough."
"Oh my god! My eyes!"
"You started dancing in the middle of the street and you expected me to join in..."
"I can't believe he/she/they did that to you!"
"How do you suck so badly at this?"
"A toast! To the best friend in the universe."
Romance:
"I was trying to be sexy!"
"Are those for me?"
"Tonight was...perfect."
"You can't just kiss someone like that!"
"How do you even do that with your tongue?"
"I can't believe your Mom/Dad just walked in on that..."
"When I was a kid, I used to dream about meeting someone like you."
"Are you asking me out?"
"Is that a phone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
"I'm so sorry! I swear I don't usually vomit all over my dates."
"Did you just say that you love me?"
Enemies:
"Oh, you're going down."
"You look like shit. Is that the style now?"
"I can't believe that I ever thought you were a decent human being."
"Is that the best you can do."
"Oh no, you look great in that. My Grandma/Grandpa has something like that back home."
"If you take one more step..."
"How could you do that to me?!"
"I'm not apologizing."
"I can't do this anymore. I just can't."
"I don't hate you. That takes way too much energy."
"Go fuck yourself."
Texts:
[Text] Help. Stuck in the elevator with that creep again.
[Text] Fuck, don't tease me like that.
[Text] You want me.
[Text] Where did you go?
[Text] Date boring as hell. Save me!
[Text] You suck!
[Text] Might be a little late...cover for me?
[Text] How did you even get this number?
[Text] We're having a movie night. Bring ice cream and booze.
[Text] I fell asleep in the middle of him/her fucking me. Do not think they want to see me again.
[Text] What is wrong with you?
SEND ME A SENTENCE FOR MY MUSE'S REACTION.
“I saw your browser history.”
“Do you even know what you’re doing?”
“We’ve already tried this.”
“You don’t even know what you’re doing.”
“Beyonce isn’t that great.”
“How many times do I have to tell you?”
“You have five seconds…”
“I don’t even know who you are.”
“Didn’t your parents ever tell you that?”
“Is this where you live?”
“… Why are your hands down your pants?”
“Is that a lobster?”
“You’re late on child support.”
“You never go ass to mouth.”
“One ring to rule them all…”
“He doesn’t even go here!”
“Did you just take that?”
“Is that a unicorn?”
“You’re a muggle.”
“It’s your turn to do the dishes.”
“Were you going through my computer?!”
“Are you pregnant?”
“You need to be honest with yourself, no one likes Nickelback.”
“Shut up.”
“I know you’re having an affair.”
“They’re dead.”
“Voldemort isn’t dead.”
“Let me see your phone.”
“I can’t believe it’s over.”
“How high are you right now?”
“I was with someone.”
“It’s not necessary to replace you, you’re not missed.”
“Why do you think we never worked out?”
“What went wrong?”
“You’re the most ridiculous person I know.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m having an affair.”
“Too little too late.”
“Snoop Dog just came into the diner.”
“You said we could get a puppy.”
“I need to move out.”
“You ordered a moon bounce?”
“Don’t you want me?”
“Meeting your mother changed my life.”
“Janitor’s closet NOW.”
“Is that for sale?”
“Do you want to get a drink sometime?”
“Your resilience is comparable to that of a cockroach.”
“He has a knife!”
“I was on an episode of Cops once.”
“Are you a hoarder?”
“We’re alone out here, you know?”
“I killed her.”
“I need to go.”
“Why did you invite me to your wedding?”
“You always do this!”
“You’re the master of excuses.”
“Did you hire a stripper?”
“I just got out of jail.”
“It was you all along?”
“I know you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
“Were you ever happy?”
“You’ve been in that same exact spot since 9 this morning.”
“There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”
“This is it.”
“I can’t believe it’s you.”
“We’re getting evicted.”
“I know who you are.”
“I wrote you a letter… Every single day.”
“They’re going to kill me.”
“You had sex with a serial killer.”
“Are you drunk?”
“I didn’t love you anyways.”
“That was the worst day ever.”
“That was the best day ever.”
“Is this your first date?”
“I’ve never been kissed before.”
“You’re famous!”
“I can’t see you anymore.”
“What’re you here for?”
“It’s always been you.”
“If this were a movie…”
“Are you high?”
“Stick a sock in it.”
“You’re better off without me.’
“I’m better off without you.”
“You’re like a freaking Taylor Swift song.”
“What do you want?”
“Fuck it.”
“That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard.”
“Who ARE you anymore?”
“Can I get a refill?”
“Well you don’t see that everyday.”
lmao imma add another muse
he looks like he just told a dad joke
shit that my tech professor said
Because learning all about scenery and lights ain’t all about just building shit.
❛ Stop smirk-pouting! ❜ ❛ Well, screw you, buddy! ❜ ❛ Before you step to the plate, make sure you want to play the game. ❜ ❛ Everybody is a whore. ❜ ❛ I like to drink and not pay for it. ❜ ❛ Sorry, I get really passionate about snails. ❜ ❛ Oh my God, stop talking. ❜ ❛ Don’t fuck with the little guy. ❜ ❛ Otherwise, you’re naked in my class. Kiiinda weird. ❜ ❛ You wanna know why you can’t do shit like that? ❜ ❛ Yes, this is a screw. No, this is not the type of screw you’re thinking of. ❜ ❛ Who the fuck left the alarm on? ❜ ❛ Fucking overachiever. ❜ ❛ Aaand there he goes again. ❜ ❛ Yes, i see you snickering over there. Can we at least pretend that we’re mature adults? ❜ ❛ Unless you wanna see your phone fall to its tragic death from 18 feet, don’t answer it. ❜ ❛ Sometimes, you gotta sacrifice fashion for safety. ❜ ❛ Now, what’s this called? ❜ ❛ You did the reading? Liar. ❜ ❛ Let’s get out of here before this beeping drives me crazy. ❜ ❛ What’s the matter with you? You look nervous. ❜ ❛ This room is a literal death trap. ❜ ❛ Don’t worry, sarcasm is my form of endearment. ❜ ❛ Rule number 1: Don’t fuck up. Fucking up will result in you getting so fucked up that we’ll have to send you home in a fucking matchbox. ❜ ❛ You use this so that your old dead granny won’t tumble out of the coffin. ❜ ❛ Keep these tables clean so we can turn you into a ritual sacrifice. ❜
<p> <b><i>poetichummer.tumblr.com</i></b>
aesthetic graphic: height difference; requested by anonymous
Tell my muse lies about people they care for.
and so i will build myself from ASHES, and i will RISE again stronger and greater.