sorry I'm here to talk about Charles Rowland again cause wdym he said the reason he liked crystal so much was because she was like Edwin and then proceeded to MAKE OUT WITH HER like okay buddy
today's dbda character thoughts: the parallels but also foils with charles and crystal and how charles becomes a people pleaser in order to please a parent who he can never measure up to the expectations of v. crystal, who lashes out and becomes "bad" to get attention because she knows she can never get their attention or make them happy/proud and she's gonna fill this hollow inside of her one way or another
fanfic writers will go "anyone gonna explore the kinda fucked up or emotionally impactful implications of this minor canon detail?" and then not wait for an answer.
I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-
Something something something, the boy who nobody liked and the boy who everybody liked but nobody loved becoming the exception for each other, or; why these dead teenagers are making me insane.
Charles and Edwin were each other's first friends (If your friends kill you, they were never really your friends). They were each other's exception. Charles likes Edwin and wants to be his friend and has continuously proved that for 36 years; he accepts and even appreciates the things that make Edwin different (the things that Edwin was, inevitably, killed for). Edwin likes Charles (and is in love with him!) and still does, even after more than three decades of being his friend. Even though Charles isn't like Edwin at all, isn't smart like him, isn't neat like him (isn't white like him).
(Rant below the cut)
There is something so horrible and fucking depressing about nobody liking you, ever, but on the other side of that is being liked, but never for long, and never loved. People like you at first, but it's like buying a treat you see when you look into the window of a nice place, and you take that first bite hoping for something sweet and lovely like you'd expected, only to find it bitter and unpleasant. The second someone discovers the real you, they decide they don't like you, actually, not even a little bit. Hell, the only reason they liked you in the beginning is because you made yourself look appealing, made yourself into something you thought they'd like. But in the end, that wasn't enough to gain their approval, *you* weren't enough to gain their approval.
That is the difference between Edwin and Charles. Sure, Edwin never had any friends, was found unpleasant and odd by his peers, but he was also unapologetically himself. That might've been because he didn't know how to change himself to fit in, to be more likeable, but he still got to be himself. He didn't have to change and mold himself into something the people around him would like, and while that certainly spelled his doom, he still got that time to just be Edwin. That is not to say that things would not have been different had Edwin been able to figure out *how*, exactly, to make himself into something more likeable, as that would be a different story entirely. That is also not to say that Edwin isn't extremely self-conscious because of his experience, or rather, *in*experience with relationships. Why wouldn't he be? He was able to be his true self, sure, but at what cost? He never had any friends or positive relationships, and that was because nobody *liked* his true self. And Simon can't truly count as someone who liked him, because evidently he didn't like him enough to not strap him to a table and sacrifice him to a demon. So yeah, Edwin is more than a little messed up, because no one ever liked him, not even enough to try to be his friend or- or something *more*.
Before Charles.
And Charles is, well, a little different. He had friends, he was probably friends with every member of his cricket team, and then some. But he got that by changing himself to be like them, which he likely learned from "trying to be better" for his dad. He was funny, and he talked about things "the right way", and he ignored it and sometimes even *laughed along* when they "joked" about the color of his skin. He did all the right things and acted just like them, and they liked him. They were his *friends*. And yet, in the end, that wasn't enough. *He* wasn't enough, and the second he showed his true colors instead of being just like them (instead of beating up another student who was "different") he was beaten and, quite literally, left for dead. No matter how hard he tried, Charles wasn't good enough for them, he was too different- too *bad*- and they gave up on him. Just like how his dad gave up on trying to teach him, trying to help him learn to be better, and started beating his lessons into him. Just like how his mom gave up on trying to help him when he inevitably pissed his dad off again, and simply watched as he was beaten time and time again (was it because she thought he deserved it? Because she thought he wasn't good enough?). Just like everyone else in his life who he's tried, and failed, to change for.
Before Edwin.
It all boils down to neither of them being very likeable, all in all, because they were just too different from the people surrounding them. Maybe because their environments simply weren't the right fit for them, maybe because their peers were too cruel to like anyone who wasn't as cruel as them, or maybe it's because they were just made for each other.
After Crystal and Charles break up but stay friends, Crystal eventually starts dating again. But all these men are frustrating and terrible. Why do they suck so hard? Eventually with one of her longer boyfriends she does blow up about this, a la "Charles would never have done this to me!"
"Well if he's so perfect why don't you go back to dating him?!" (probably Crystal has brought Charles up a lot. Mostly in comparison)
"Because he's dead!"
Her poor boyfriend looks SO UPSET and it takes Crystal a moment to realise how that sounds to anyone who doesn't know about ghosts. Now this poor boy thinks that Crystal's perfect ex she's always talking about died tragically young when Crystal was still in high school.
I saw the prompt, had a vague idea, then I blinked and this was on my screen. Turned out better than I thought it would considering that digital art is very much not my specialty (art in general isn't my specialty lol).
I also challenged myself (why? Who knows.) to use a randomly generated palette, which I haven't done before. It made shading interesting, but I think it turned out pretty cool because of it (get it? Cool? Cause there aren't any warm colors? ...I'll see myself out.)
Palette, reference, and alt images below the cut
Here is the palette I used, as well as the reference pic of Charles!
*edit, here's the alternative image, cause I couldn't tell whether or not the ghosts were too much lol
my dearest love (ao3) has befallen a great tragedy (is down for maintenance) so i must pine alone in my lonely tower (i could do something productive but i think not)
romaincrisis
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