Eye of Newt, Knees of Bees @dont-offend-the-bees - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
Eye of Newt, Knees of Bees
@dont-offend-the-bees
Greetings, friends! Newt (or Bees), 30's, he/they, UK. Welcome to the disorganized pit where I throw every little thing that takes my fancy. Featuring fanfic, art and a mixed bag of fandoms. At this moment in time I'm mostly about Dead Boy Detectives. I try to add simple alt text descriptions when I post images myself but make no promises for images I reblog! Find the stuff I make in #my art and #my fanfic ^^ Ao3 is DontOffendTheBees 💖
Or, essentially, my 2024 Ao3 Wrapped because this show is all I've posted on main all year 😅 But it's nice to be back in the swing of writing and it's been such a rough year, so I'm gonna take a minute now to bask in the glow of my accomplishments 💛
(please note fic links are to Ao3, and most fics are locked to be visible to registered users only!)
Multichapter Fics:
never fade away (E, 66.3k, ch. 5/5, Charles/Edwin, past Cat King/Edwin, Complete)
My contribution to the 2025 Dead Boys Big Bang, a slow and sad All Of Us Strangers AU (movie knowledge not required!). Featuring gorgeous, achey art by @antichrists-plus1 💛
Art posts:
Poster | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4
A Heart’s A Heavy Burden (T, 41.7k, ch. 4/7, Cat King/Charles/Edwin, Ongoing), co-written with @dear-monday and @tw0-ravens
A whimsical, polyamorous Howl's Moving Castle AU, written in partnership with Hayley and Lucy and featuring SHOWSTOPPING art by @idliketobeatree!
Art posts:
Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7
Oh, Lonely Bones, Have You Forgotten? (M, 31.9k, ch. 3/4, Charles/Edwin, Ongoing, Temporary Hiatus)
A haunting little odyssey of Edwin finding his earthly remains, and figuring out where the hell to go from there. Was hoping to finish this off before the year was out but pain and other projects sadly got in the way! Don't worry, she will be complete one day, I swear!
Somewhere Beyond the Sea (T, 26k, ch 3/6, Charles/Edwin, Ongoing)
A sweet and magical Payneland Ponyo AU, written originally as a Secret Santa gift and then ballooning WAY out of proportion! I'm so, so excited for how this one turns out! Now featuring adorable cover art by @honorarypines !
One-shots:
The Kind of Light That Means Just Love (When My Baby Smiles at Me) (T, 1.4k, Charles/Edwin)
Where it all began, a little ficlet I wrote based on a writing group prompt which made me realised how much fun the character voices were to play with. Short and sweet, Charles takes photos of Edwin and finds ways to be cheerful about it even when he doesn't show up in them.
Outside Looking In (T, 3.6k, Charles/Edwin)
Outsider POV fic in which Charles and Edwin are overhead having a very strange but sweet conversation while in their older disguises. While this was an early fic and there's probably some stuff I'd change about the dialogue if I wrote it now, I'm so fond of it and I'm touched by the response to it - ESPECIALLY in the form of Robin's incredible gifset! (this gifset MUST be reblogged by everyone, btw.)
The Scenic Route (T, 2.1k, Charles/Edwin)
A short, sweet little agency outing and Payneland get-together, written in large part to daydream of a better world of public transportation while I was stuck standing on a cross-country train for two hours.
No Rehearsing It, No Reversing It (T, 9.3k, Charles/Edwin)
Mandatory 'Charles massively overthinks getting together with Edwin' fic, a comedy of errors, featuring foiled kissing schemes, party games, flimsy excuses, and my first fateful foray into discovering how fun Cat King is to write.
’Cause You Cut Through All the Noise (M, 5.3k, Charles/Edwin)
First day of Payneland week, what a time! Edwin helps Charles calm down from a panic spiral with a healthy application of sweet, gently non-sexual dom/sub play, featuring sweet words and soothing games of cat's cradle.
Though We're Strangers 'Til Now (T, 4.7k, Charles/Edwin)
Payneland week day 2. One of my more out-there concepts; in the campy tradition of Saturday night British fantasy telly a la Merlin or Atlantis, Charles and Edwin take the mythological roles of Theseus and Ariadne. This fic exists in large part due to @every-moment-a-different-sound making me aware of Payneland week and asking me to collaborate, and once again, it is COMPULSORY that you go and reblog their GORGEOUS SHOWSTOPPING INCREDIBLE GIFS.
I Got Sunshine in a Bag (T, 1.2k, Charles/Edwin)
Payneland week day 3. The little script-format fic where (spoiler alert) Charles confesses his feelings to Edwin in the safe haven of his own magical bag of tricks. Sweet and silly!
Something I Can Turn To (T, 2.4k, Charles/Edwin)
Payneland week day 4. The AU where Charles and Edwin are alive in the same era, and helped each other survive the brutality of their teenage years. This one was so lovely to write and there's a little bittersweet hollow in my heart carved out for it. This fic also spawned this absolutely lovely art by @yasartmeme (GO REBLOG, GIVE IT LOVE) and a collection of related stories by several wonderful authors. Every time someone else dips their toe into this universe it warms my chilly little heart.
If the Shoe Fits, Then I Won’t Try It On (T, 2k, Charles/Edwin)
Payneland week day 5. Another outing with the disguises; pre-canon, Charles and Edwin on a case, getting used to their new magic disguises and constructing dubious backstories.
Spinning on That Dizzy Edge (M, 1k, Charles/Edwin)
Payneland week day 6. Short little flirty, steamy, fun date night with Charles and Edwin in a haunted pub, with a piano <3
Lived My Whole Life Before the First Light (M, 7.3k, Charles/Edwin)
Payneland week day 7. AKA the attic scene, as told in a soulmate AU. A few people who don't generally like soulmate AU's have told me this one plays with the concept in a way they found interesting and refreshing! Suffice it to say there's a happy ending, but not of the sort generally associated with the genre. And this one comes with yet another mandatory-reblog gifset, this one by @mellxncollie, which is SO beautiful and should be in an art gallery and truly such an honour to bestow upon my little words 💛
We Glimpse Each Other Out of Phase (T, 3.7k, Charles/Edwin)
Another little instalment in the Alive AU of Something I Can Turn To, this time a bittersweet domestic scene on a sleepless night in the kitchen.
Wise Men Build Their Houses on Rocks While the Rest of Us Settle for Skeletons (M, 2.2k, Cat King/Edwin)
First foray into Catwin! (or at least first on the main account 😉) Edwin digs through the Cat King's magical artifacts; and finds an ominous relic of his past lives.
Sink Your Teeth Right Through My Bones, Baby (M, 0.6k, Charles/Edwin)
First of the spotify wrapped inspired ficlets! A little glimpse into Edwin's mind as he and Charles cautiously approach a new dynamic in the bedroom.
Looks Like We’re In for Nasty Weather (T, 0.6k, Charles/Edwin)
Wrapped ficlet. Edwin and Charles brace themselves in the face of an ominous supernatural storm brewing.
Keep Me Warm, Love Me Long, Be My Sunlight (T, 1k, Cat King/Edwin/Charles)
Wrapped ficlet, and preview of the Ghostcat 1920s AU currently in the works by myself, @dear-monday and @tw0-ravens! In a sun-drenched loft in the last days of summer, Thomas contemplates what he has, and when he'll lose it.
Should I Cool It, or Should I Blow? (M, 1.9k, Cat King/Charles)
Wrapped ficlet. The Cat King confronts Charles after another little enemies-with-benefits hook-up for a little clarification on what, exactly, he's doing with his life.
And that about wraps it up for 2024! But I'll keep adding underneath this post when I inevitably write more -- so I'll be seeing you guys in '25! 🥰 Thank you thank you THANK YOU everyone who's shown me such incredible support over this year, this has been such an unbelievably fun fandom experience and I'm excited to sink my teeth into even more and longer fics next year 💛💛💛
My 2024 Writing Stats:
Works Published: 19
Word Count: 89,859
Top 3 fics (by kudos):
1. Outside Looking In
2. No Rehearsing It, No Reversing It
3. The Scenic Route
2025 One-Shots:
Third Contact of a Brief, yet Significant Eclipse (M, 4.2k, Cat King/Edwin)
A spin-off/prequel fic set in the universe of Wunderkammer by dear_monday and two_ravens! A bittersweet little scene at the tail end of museum curator!Edwin's dalliance with the Cat King; a torrid affair which lasted the duration of the 1960s.
Bet Was Made, I Kneeled and Prayed (and Went Off Like a Shotgun) (M, 2.5k, Cat King/Charles)
Wrapped fic, the last of them. Charles and the Cat King enjoy a bit of fun, fighty, no-strings messing around; and the Cat King comes away with more feelings than he bargained for.
Now featuring gorgeous and heartbreaking gifs courtesy of Olly, who simply never misses 💛💛💛💛💛
Darling, This Place is a Lover's Oasis (M, 1.4k, Cat King/Edwin)
Valentine's fic; Edwin gets some much-deserved pampering courtesy of Cat King and his ridiculous 1970s oversized bathtub.
Ain't That a Kick in the Head? (T, 2.3k, Charles/Edwin)
Anniversary fic, getting together: Edwin and Charles have some banter and a thumb war to decide the fate of the tiny office sofa.
Drop Dead Gorgeous (M, 3k, Charles/Edwin)
Short and silly morbid flirting fic between mortician Edwin and assistant Charles, based on Wooden Overcoats and written for my dear friend Ande's birthday 💛
i wanna get some kind of procedure that gives me eyeshine. i want people to look at me and see a pretty girl at first glance, but then see my eyes flash in the dark and wonder if they've just had a dangerous encounter with the creature.
Here’s the thing: authors know when they get a rec on an older story. There’s a telltale uptick of kudos (with a 10-15% comment rate if you’re lucky) in your digest email.
The thing is, there’s no way to know where these people are coming from. In the before, when fandom was more in the corners we all knew about, you could search LJ or a message board or whatever social bookmarking site we were using. You could join the community and participate.
You could get a little dopamine hit by seeing someone tell their friends why they loved your story.
Anymore, those recs are hidden in discords, or in tiktoks or instagram slideshows that you can’t search for. They’re inaccessible, not discoverable unless you’re already there. You may never know why 27 people left kudos on an old story of yours, what they liked and found in your writing. You just get the thumbs up and a kinda lonely feeling, cause these could be your people. You could like them, maybe. You could be friends.
But you’ll never find out why they stopped by, or what people are saying about you behind your back, and that’s sad.
So thank you to the people who still do public rec lists on this webbed site. You are my sunshine, and I’m appreciative of all of you.
Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.
So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.
That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.
jeff goldblum is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s jewish. nathan lane is the type of guy who gets mistaken for jewish because he’s gay. stanley tucci is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s a mild-mannered italian, which is jewish. seth meyers gets mistaken for jewish because of everything about him. zachary levi gets mistaken for jewish because everyone wants him dead. tom cruise gets mistaken for gay because he is.
throughout the late 2000s and early 2010s, our generation was inundated with aave. it eclipsed lolcat as the "funny way to talk." ain't nobody got time fo dat turns into dat boi o shit waddup. this is blatantly not an "aracial" or "gen z" way to talk. it IS black english. not to mention the amount of black reaction images!!
WHY, specifically, is it black peoples' facial expressions that are seen as just so comical or exaggerated? analyze the history of this nation's comedy and tell me why you might be predisposed to thinking of black peoples' faces as just, "more emotive" or exaggeratedly funny than a white or nonblack person's
and throughout those years, 00s-10s, many black bloggers -- victims of the mass staff-led purge (under the cover of them being 'russian' while reichblr still exists) -- they DID tell us it was a problem, DID try to educate people who freak out at the insinuation of 'being racist,' DID argue, DID point out the duplicity and the appropriation and the gross equivalence of african american slang with unintelligence, goofiness, etc. and they were ignored, abused, cancelled, chased off, until being eventually mass deleted by our racist transmisogynistic staff.
we didn't do enough, and the generation after us gen z "kids" didn't stop the trend. using the '-ahh' suffix. rizz. no cap. ate. delulu. it's giving. it's serving. crash out. lock in. aura. tea. main character. bruh. slay. real. keep it 100.
all of the following images are or were popular reaction images! what do they all have in common?
it feels like the effort to categorize slang as AAVE and not 'gen z' or 'gen alpha' slang has really petered out. it feels like we stopped talking about digital blackface in an era where the administration is posting ai-generated videos of black women who speak and act like exaggerated stereotypes and it frustrates me because we all have a responsibility to understand our generation's role in normalizing this type of racist shit for kids today. this needs to be addressed!
Black people will never stop talking about this, but when we are on sites such as Tumblr, where so many of the white people feel that not only are they not racist, but that calling their racist behavior racist is emotional warfare on them, they will make sure to keep Black voices as silenced as possible.
Also, a lot of the Black people who got deleted or run off of the site weren't even accused of any type of Russian anything. A lot of them were just run the fuck off by the white Tumblr base on harassment shit.
one thing it is imperative to know about the television show Widow’s Bay is that it was created by katie dippold whose name you may not immediately recognize but whose tweet from 10 years ago you definitely do:
actually im doing really well except for the fact that everything makes me sad and the things that dont make me sad make me angry. but other than that im fine
