John Logan x female reader
summary: you pour your thoughts to logan saying you've never fallen in love and he says that you should open your heart to be able to find your person, yet when you do, he regrets giving you that advice
c/w: fluff, hopeless romantic reader, yearning logan, misunderstanding, idiots in love
a/n: 5 people total wants this idea to be logan? geez you guys share the same brain cell or what, also I can't think of happy logan because he has that sad boy vibes to me ESPECIALLY THE EYES
You might be the most hopeless romantic girl you've ever known yourself. Your friends are either dating or in love. At least some of them are in the talking stage. But you? Zero experience.
You just simply never have that kind of feelings towards someone. You've read a lot of books and movies about it, saying you'll meet the right person at the right time, or someone will like you as you are, those kinds of things. That liking someone makes butterflies fly in your stomach, your heart beats faster, or makes you blush over their words.
Genuinely? You've never felt like that. Just some silly crushes in high school and early freshman year. It doesn't make you lose control of yourself, when it's the one thing you seek. You want to feel alive and in love.
Sometimes you want to dismiss this urge and move on, but most of the time it lingers in your mind.
Until you meet John Logan. Actually, there's nothing special about him. No, he's actually special. He's good looking, has a charming smile, and clear eyes. Not to mention his forearms, and biceps, and back muscles you stare a little too long. Those are desirable qualities girls look for in a boy, but that's it. All his friends are hot too, but they're just one kind of similar.
You have no special or romantic interest in him or his house boys, you're sure of it. You're not even in denial, it's just a fact. Except maybe one time you accidentally see him fixing a sink, or holding groceries, or him working out. One time is an understatement.
Still, he's just another hot guy you see in college. Yeah maybe beneath those charms and sarcasm, he is caring and warm towards you. But it can be that he's genuinely a good guy, right. A hidden, underrated good guy.
Of course you secretly want him to be like that only towards you. But only a silly girl would dream like that. And you are not a silly girl.
However you begin to question yourself about your weird interest and... Hyperfixation to John Logan when you're at the boy's house.
You said to Allie that you wanted to grab some drink but when you're back, she's already making out with her boyfriend Dean. You roll your eyes playfully. Not wanting to break their moments, you walk in search of Hannah. She seems to have very cute storytelling because Garrett has that smitten look in his eyes. You get it, Hannah's adorable when she's drunk.
Now here you are, watching people have fun and in love. You are happy for them, truly, but the voices in your head keep bothering you. Why are you alone, why are you not talking with some boy, why you just stand single and miserable in a party.
You sigh to yourself, you wanted to join the crowd when you hear a familiar voice behind you.
"Need a company?" When you turn your head, you see him. John Logan, with his easy smile and charming voice.
You snicker. "What, you thought I can't find my own company?"
He squints his eyes in confusion. "That's not what I say."
You look at him to let him know that you just messed with him. He can't hold his smirk and shake his head.
"Anyway, where are your girls?" You look at the spot behind him dramatically. He gives that fondly irritated look.
"As you can see with your own eyes, they're not here."
You grin. "What? You lose your charm somehow?"
He clicks his tongue in a feign offense, although you can see the amusement in his eyes. You smile at that.
"See, it's just not something that happens to me."
"Oh, is it now?" A laugh escapes you. "You're just so full of yourself, aren't you?"
"I know I'm the best." He says in that teasing, smug grin of his. You roll your eyes.
Eventually you two engage in conversation, from his hockey practice, to Dean and Allie's hard launch, your love life.
"So, who is this mysterious guy?" He raises his brows mischievously. You shrug your shoulder, not wanting to give him anything he doesn't know. Yet. "You guess."
"Don't you think we've got a room upstairs if he were here?"
"I don't want to hear about it." You let out a chuckle.
"Maybe he is here. Is he... In the kitchen, wearing pink aprons, making dippables while fussing at everyone not helping him?"
You pause slightly to guess who he's talking about before it clicks. "You mean, Tucker?"
He gives a casual shrug. You huff amusedly. "I would be a very bad girlfriend if I didn't help my man in the kitchen." You grin before chugging down your drink.
Logan hums as response. "Okay, before we get anything past that, we'll focus on the main one."
You lean closer into him. "And what is it?"
And that's when you find yourself sitting side by side in the quiet porch steps.
"So you've never been with anyone before?"
You fix him with a dry look. "I have. It's just never been... Serious, I guess." You turn your gaze to the road.
"So you're looking for a long-term relationship? That's really good, preparing your futureโ"
"It literally has nothing to do with my future." You interrupt him. "I just want to fall in love." Your voice gets quieter at the end.
He stills for a moment, like he knows it's something raw and vulnerable that you've been keeping for yourself. His gaze turns to the road too, not wanting to make you uncomfortable and ruin the vulnerable moments.
"Then why don't you try?" Logan's voice is quiet and earnest.
You sigh, already tired of the topic you've replayed a thousand times in your head. "It's not that easy."
"Yeah, but you can try to... Open up." He struggles to find the word. You shoot him a look.
"You mean I have to rant about my problems and personal life to a guy I want to fall in love with?"
His hand comes up immediately to defend himself. "No. I said it wrong. What I was trying to say is, you should try to open your heart." He grimaces as he realizes that must be the wisest he's ever been.
"What, you think I'm such a weirdo who doesn't have friends and cannot talk to a guy? Just because I'm not as bold as others, doesn't meanโ"
You cut yourself as you interpret the facial expressions of his face. "Oh. You thought that."
You try to not show too much of sad emotion on your face so Logan doesn't pity you or coddle you. He panics a little as you got him wrong.
Much to your surprise, he doesn't immediately rush to reassure you. Instead, his voice is gentle and his posture is... Protective? Like he's trying to shield whatever this conversation is about from wandering eyes, even though it's just two guys who are nearest to you and they probably talk about cars.
"Thatโs not what I was trying to say." You don't look up. He exhales, though not in annoyance.
"I just think that you're a reserved person. Yes, you're not as bold as others. You are caring and sweet, always being there for everyone. Butโ"
"But what?" You look at him.
"But I think you're a little... Guarded. You're not open and share the details of your life freely to random people. And that's good. You just have to find someone who works well with that."
You go quiet at that, absorbing his words and their meaning. He grows concerned when you don't say anything.
"So what kind of guy are we talking about?"
Logan hesitates at that. "Someone who's just as kind and caring. A good listener, patient and thoughtful. Always listening to your rants."
You huff a smile. "You make it sound like I'm a grumpy complainer." You look at him when he doesn't say anything.
"No!" He says as he avoids your light punches to his arms and chest, your giggles and his laugh echoes through the porch.
You've thought carefully what Logan said to you. As much as you don't want to admit it, what he said is true. You're guarded, closed off. You never really monitored yourself like that. You only think of yourself as not as talkative as others, and it's been since childhood.
But then you still want to try this, opening your heart or whatever the term is. So, yes. You decided to give it a try. You also give pep talk to yourself beforehand, that if it doesn't work out, you'll still have fun and make friends with the guy. If he wants to, of course. But the point is, you want to loosen up and just, wellโtalk to a guy.
The guy happens to be Beau Maxwell. He's not exactly what you planned to go for. You only know him because he's Dean's best friend who's Logan's friend, roommate, and hockey team mate. You figured he's a pretty decent guy, so you give it a shot.
Surprisingly, he is decent. No, he's everything. He's sweet and funny, he always has quick come back and naturally hilarious sarcasm. He makes you laugh and he is a good listener. You ought to thank Logan for giving you that advice that night. Beau seems to have all those traits. You're convinced that sooner or later you'd fall in love with him.
While you're still floating in cloud nine and feel all giddy about this guy, you missed Logan's unreadable gaze watching you from afar that turns into longing stares and jealousy glare.
He didn't mean to, he swear. He still remembered that night vividly, the moment you two talked about your love life and he gave you his dating advice. And now seeing you doing exactly what he suggested you do, why does he feel unsettled about it?
He tried to reason with himself. That you deserve it, that he has no right to do things his impulse wants to do. That he knows Beau and knows he's better than most college frat boys out there.
Most importantly, why does he care?
He's known you for as long as he can remember. Your sweet smile and caring nature, the way you banter and bicker naturally with him. And he likes you, he's assured not in that way.
Logan didn't feel anything back then. Then why the hell it's just now that he feels this uneasy feeling whenever his gaze catches you laughing at something he says? Beau can't be that funny. And why the hell do you give him that sweet, soft smile of yours to him? He probably doesn't deserve it.
And why the hell does he keep staring? He doesn't realize he stares that intensely until he feels someone pats his shoulder not lightly.
"Man, you're gonna burn a hole through her hair if you keep staring like that."
When he turns to see who it is, he's greeted with that annoying smirk of Dean. After a second Tucker follows behind him.
"Dean, where's the banana?"
"Oh I ate it." Dean says casually.
"What the hell man." Tucker scowls, though his face is anything but scary.
"Forget about banana. Let's just see what the star of the show's got here." Dean's gaze flicks back to Logan. Logan glances away in exasperation. He can see Garrett's peck Hannah's lips quickly after she gives him a smile and says she'll see her friends. Only after that Garrett looks at him.
"What happens here? What's got you sad eyed and stuff?" Garrett asks, genuinely clueless about what happens. Tucker who observed the situation beforehand opens his mouth. "He's jealous."
"Oh yes, straight to his heart." Dean grins widely. Garrett follows Logan's stare.
"Ah. You finally realized it." Garrett shrugs his shoulders casually, making Tucker raise his brows in curiosity and Logan to turn his head. Looking at their confusion, Garrett immediately explains himself.
"Hannah and Allie have been gossiping about you two for weeks. And I uh, happen to hear about it." Tucker frowns and Garrett holds his hands in surrender. "Dean too. Not just me."
Dean nods and leans to get a better look at Logan. "So what's the deal about you two, hm? Why don't you just go after her?" The others urge him with their intrigued eyes. Logan sighs. "She has her own reason. I can't tell you that."
"Respect." Dean shoots immediately, nodding like he understands the serious matter.
"But you like her." Tucker still has that frown in his face. In his mind it's such a simple situation, why Logan treats it as complicated.
"Not in that way." Logan exhales heavily. Half convince them and himself.
"Yes, in that way." Garrett says nonchalantly. That pauses Logan to actually look at him.
"You know something that I don't, Garrett?"
Garrett and Dean change the look until Dean sighs and gives in. "Logan, I'm about to tell you the truth and you have to listen with your ears open. And your heart opens, and your mind opensโ"
"Oh for fuck's sake, just get to the point, Deanโ"
"You like her." Dean looks at Logan for seconds to punctuate his point. "Like, 'like' her. Hell, you may be head over heels with her at this point. Obviously, you've fallen in love with her."
Logan turns to look at you again, holding a drink in your hand, still smiling with Beau. "And how are you sure this?"
"That's what Hannah and Allie said." Garrett says as he chugs down his drink.
"Let me get this straight. Your girlfriends, talk about my feelings, that I don't even know myself?"
Getting frustrated, Dean sighs and puts both hands on his hips. "Just admit it, man. You like her. You're in love with her. It's obvious for everyone to see."
"Not to me." Tucker mutters to himself and Dean shoots him a look.
"You can stand here, watch her with another guy and get jealous all you want, or you can just tell her your feelings."
"Aww, baby, did you just give your friend a relationship advice?" Allie comes in and gives Dean a quick kiss on his lips.
"Someone has to. You tell him, baby. He's as stubborn as a mule. And in denial." Dean wraps his arm around Allie's waist.
"I figured everyone's said what they've got to say, so what's left of me is, get your girl, Logan. She seems too comfortable with Beau right now, even for my own good." She says the last part in whispers.
"I can bring Hannah into this."
"No, just..." Logan rubs his hand on his face frustratingly. "Thank you for all of your observations and dating advice, but I will figure it out myself."
Dean presses his lips in understanding. "If you say so." Then he turns to look at Allie who's giggling in his arms. "Now if you gentleman excuse me..."
He eventually disappears with Allie while Garrett grabs another drink with Tucker, not after patting Logan in the back.
Things between you and Beau have been going well. He checked all your lists. The way he is, the way he treats you, the way he just exists. He's gorgeous, sweet, funny, and perfect.
However, you don't think you feel what you're supposed to feel. You've lowered your guard, you've opened your heart, you try to get to know him. But you don't feel the flutter in your heart, nor the blush in your cheeks, nor the infatuated feeling.
Every time you spend with him, your mind drifts off somewhere else. To someone else. You try to push it down, because it is distracting and it's not how things are supposed to be. But you just can't help it.
You always imagine Logan when you look at Beau. You always compare how funny he is to him, how gentle, how his sarcastic jokes wouldn't match. And it's just ruining your plan.
You're not so sure you're in love with Beau anymore. Or you just never fall for him in the first place. Because if that's the case, you wouldn't think of Logan every time you are with him, right?
Maybe it's Logan you're falling in love with. But it doesn't matter. Because what are the odds? You're sure Logan never likes you that way. It's silly just to think about it. Beside, if you are truly in love with him and he doesn't like you, so then what? There's nothing you can do.
After hours of self-reflection, replaying every moment you spend with him, thinking about his feelings, and listening to his friends and their girlfriend's dating advice, Logan comes to a conclusion.
He likes you. As simple as that. He's not in denial anymore. He just has no energy left within him to fight himself when the truth is as clear as day. And he was jealous seeing you with Beau, even though you just followed his advice.
Which is why he decides to tell you how he feels. Whatever you might say, he can deal with it later. He just wants you to know his feelings about you.
So here you are at the least crowded side of the campus road. He texted you after your class to talk about something. He still doesn't do it now, distracting himself with small talk. Noticing you don't respond to him, he pauses his walk to look at you.
"So, how are things with Beau?" He says, trying to sound casual, even tho his smile doesn't reach his eyes.
"Good, I guess." He nods. For a while, neither of you said anything. Him asking for the right words to say it and you're completely oblivious to what he's got to say.
Eventually you break the silence. "Thanks for the dating advice, it was really helpful." You try to lighten up the air.
Then Logan looks at you, his face serious. "I regret giving you that advice."
He sighs to compose himself. "I wish I didn't give you that advice, because I don't like seeing you with someone else, talking and laughing with him, give that smile to someone else." He looks away. You're stunned, not knowing what to say.
"Logan..." You want to say something but you're afraid if you misread this and he takes the lead.
"I don't want someone else to have that because I want it to be me." He takes a step closer. "I want to be the one you look at in every room, I want to be the one you give your smile at, I want you to laugh at my stupid jokes, I justโ"
He looks up to inhale before settling his eyes to yours again. "I want to be that guy because I like you."
The silence stretches between you two. Before he says a word, you already say them.
He thinks you only say that because of the stakes of the moment. "You don't have to say anything right at this moment. I just want you to know what I feel."
You gather your courage to look at him. "I try to give my heart to Beau, I really do. But every time I look at him, you're all I think about, Logan."
"I thought it was silly because you'd never like me like that."
For a fleeting seconds you two just smile at each other. Then he clears his throat.
"I just... I just want to make sure we're on the same page."
"I literally just confessed my love to you."
"Right." His ears tint pink and he's unable to meet your eyes as a small smile escapes his lips.
"So, no more another guy?"
He huffs. "I think I can give it to someone else."
He pretends to think thoughtfully. "I'm sure Tucker is in desperate need of that right now."
You chuckle at that. "Okay, Mr. Dating Coach."
"I have a new nickname now."
"The one and only Mr. Dating Coach."
Then you two look at each other's eyes while he steps closer and wraps him arms around you, your hands on his chest. Your giggles fill the bubble between you two while he's watching you with that sweet, adoring eyes.
