Iām Chanel and Iām 18 years old, just livinā and writing. Iāve always loved to write and since I have also written several books already (theyāre not published yet, pshhh) I thought:
āHey Chanel, why not do something fun and create a Tumblr blog where you can let your thoughts flow, without any deadline or whatsoever? Just let people know what you really think.ā
And thatās where I started a few days ago. Iāve obvi known about Tumblr already but Iāve never been active more than just reading other peopleās blogs and posts. I wanted to create a space for myself but also for others to feel welcomed in, where I can be myself and share my thoughts and feelings on. I really hope to find friends and a community where we feel the same and can all share our thoughts together.š
So, here are sum things u should know about this page.
What I write/post:
Blog entries (any topic that I want to write about and tell my opinion on but you can also send me requests)
Regular posts (quotes, memes, music, random thoughts)
One shots (of my own OCs, requests are also open here)
How often I want to post:
I am new here so I will need to take some time to personalize my page so that you can find my stuff easily. But once Iām settled, I do plan on posting at least twice a day, for example:
1x Blog entry & 1x regular post or
1x Blog entry & 1x One shot or
1x regular post & 1x One shot
However, I do think itās possible that the variations might change or my timing doesnāt match up sometimes and I end up only posting one thing at a time, posting later than I planned on (1 or 2 days later) or not posting at all for a certain period of time (which I think is rather unrealistic but u never know).
Everyone can feel free to share their thoughts on my work, send requests, ask questions; as long as there is no hate, racism/discrimination, judgement of others or bullying going on here. Mark my words, cuz it is NOT happening here under my watch and anyone who dares to do so, will be immediately removed and reported. Also, Iād really like to stay anonymous and hope that u guys respect my decision, bc this Blog isnāt about my personal information but my thoughts and feelings that you can feel the same about.
I really hope that u find my page a safe space of comfort and peace and just something else than what youāre used to.š
Iām sooo excited to post more on here, bc you can already prepare for whatās to come.
Not that I would marry any guy for $$$ or smth buuuutttā¦
WHAT exactly do you MEAN the 3rd day of summer break has already passed and Iāve still not sent out any applications???
Srsly, life is so unfair. Like, God couldāve made me a teenage Malibu girl with rich parents, endless money for cunty clothes and absolutely NO problems
But NO! Here I am, forced to work for money.
You know what? Iām only 17 and SO TIRED of it. If Iām not married by next year to a rich man, *sigh*ā¦Iāll delete my Tumblr.
Actually, no wtf. Thatās so stupid, why would I ever do that.
Anyways, Bitches be Bonkers. Iām gonna go paint my nails now, puta.
Kinda wish I wasn't an introverted loser that stays home all the time. why can't I be like those other teen girls with big ass friend groups that go out all the time to parties or even for coffee at dunkin.
Lately I came to the conclusion that you canāt turn a hoe into a husband. Thatās why you shouldnāt even try.
Because, what exactly do you mean we live in a society where having sex on a first date and THEN figuring out if you guys want to be in a relationship or men going out, carrying condoms in their wallet like they have duties is normalized???
Long fucking story short, my fellow ladies: if u get knocked up by one of these cocksuckers anyway, then at least raise your sons right if your coward of a husband canāt because he wasnāt raised first.
Men are like this ALL THE TIME!!! No wonder theyāre violent, aggressive, and unbearable bc itās literally built into them. Testosterone is the devil. This is not a mood swing, itās āØscienceāØ.
The music in the house was deafening, a pounding baseline that seemed to rattle Scarlettās very bones. The warm, sticky air inside carried the sharp tang of spilled alcohol and the faintly sweet scent of marijuana. Scarlett clutched her red solo cup like a lifeline, the liquid inside sloshing dangerously close to the rim as she swayed in time with the music.
Alannah, her best friend and eternal voice of reason, was by her side. Scarlett could feel her judgmental stare even through the dim, flashing lights.
āAlright, thatās enoughā, Alannah said, her voice cutting through the din as she snatched the cup from Scarlettās hand.
āHey!ā Scarlett protested, her words slurred and petulant.
Alannah arched an eyebrow, holding the cup just out of reach. āYouāre drunk.ā
āNo, Iām notā, Scarlett countered, though the wobble in her step betrayed her.
Alannah sighed, her exasperation clear. āYouāve had, what? Five drinks? Six? Youāre barely standing. Youāre going to regret this tomorrow.ā
Scarlett laughed, the sound bright and carefree. āTomorrowās future Scarlettās problem. Tonight, Iām just having fun.ā
āYeah, well, future Scarlett is gonna hate you if you end up passed out in a bushā, Alannah muttered.
Scarlett ignored her, her attention drifting to the throng of people dancing in the living room. The crush of bodies and the flashing lights made her head spin in the best way. Or maybe it was just the alcohol.
āCome onā, Alannah said, grabbing her arm. āWeāre leaving.ā
Scarlett groaned, dragging her feet as Alannah led her toward the door. āWhy do you always have to ruin the fun?ā
āBecause someone has toā, Alannah shot back, her grip firm.
āAsshole.ā
Outside, the cool night air was a welcome reprieve from the stifling heat of the party. Scarlett leaned heavily against Alannah, her head spinning.
āMāfineā, she insisted, though her knees buckled slightly.
āSure you areā, Alannah said dryly, Scarlettās phone already in hand.
Scarlett frowned, watching as Alannah scrolled through her contacts. āWhat are you doing?ā
āCalling Dylanā, Alannah said without looking up. her dark hair falling onto her shoulders. Dylan was Scarlettās older brother. A guy with many friends but any sane person wouldnāt want to hang around his cocky persona.
Scarlettās blood ran cold. She lunged for the phone, but her sluggish reflexes made her attempt laughable. āNo! You caÅt call him!ā
Alannah blinked at her, surprised by the sudden outburst. āWhy not?ā
āBecause if he finds out Iām drunk, heāll tell Mom and Dad and then Iām screwed. Like really badā, Scarlett said, her voice rising in panic.
Alannah hesitated, her thumb hovering over Dylanās contact. āAlright, fineā, she said with a sigh. āBut we need someone to help us. You canāt even walk straight, and I donāt have a car.ā
Scarlett groaned, leaning her head back against the car she was propped against. āJessie said we could use a room if we canāt go home tonight.ā
āYeah, not happeningā, Alannah said, scrolling through Scarlettās contacts again. Her eyes landed on a familiar name. āZade? Isnāt that one of Dylanās friends?ā
Scarlettās stomach twisted. āYeahā¦Just- just skip him.ā
Alannah gave her a look. āWhy do you have his number?ā
Scarlett sighed, the alcohol loosening her tongue. āDylan gave me his number a while ago when they went to a party, although Dylan was supposed to be looking after me at home. He said I should call Zade in case he didnāt pick up. I donāt even think Zade knows I have it. And he will never know anyway. Because weāre not calling him. God knows what heāll tell Dylan. Then, Iām really fucked.ā
Alannahās expression softened. It seemed like Zade was a trustworthy person. Otherwise, Dylan wouldnāt have given Scarlett his number in case of an emergency in first place. āSounds really good to me, though.ā
āNo, wait-ā Scarlettās protests fell on deaf ears as Alannah pressed the call button.
The phone rang twice before a deep, groggy voice answered. āWhoās this?ā
Alannah cleared her throat. āHi. My nameās Alannah. Iām Scarlettās friend. Iām calling from her phone because sheās, uh, really drunk, and I need help getting her to my house.ā
There was a long pause. āWhy not call Dylan?ā, Zade asked, his tone sharp with suspicion.
āWe canātā, Alannah said quickly. āShe doesnāt want him to know.ā
Another long pause. Scarlett gave her best friend a deadly look, despite her condition.
āThis is a bad ideaā, Zade said finally. āI donāt wanna be involved in this. Call someone else.ā
One thing was for sure. Zade wasnāt stupid. Whereas his friend, Dylan, wouldāve jumped out of bed the second he heard a female voice, not missing a chance to hit.
āThere is no one else!ā, Alannah said, her voice rising with desperation. āPlease, I canāt do this on my own.ā
Zade sighed, the sound heavy with reluctance. āFuck. I canāt believe Iām doing this. Fine. Send me the addressā, he said, as he got out of bed. The cold breeze from the open window hitting his bare chest, waking him up even more.
Alannah breathed out relieved.
When Zade arrived, he tried to get his way through all the drunk people outside, trying his best not to hit somebody with his car. Then, he spotted Scarlett leaning against a black truck. Her arms crossed. Although he hadnāt seen her in a while, he almost instantly recognized her. How couldnāt he? Her dirty blonde hair sitting perfectly in voluminous waves on her shoulders, falling down her back. When she looked at the car coming at her, Zade noticed her almost miserable state. Plump lips that he couldnāt tell if they were so red from all of the alcohol or if she had just used lipstick. Flushed cheeks and a rudolph-reindeer nose. He stepped out of his car, his hoodie pulled up over his disheveled dark hair.
āThis better be worth itā, he muttered as he approached the two girls.
Alannah smiled sheepishly. āThanks for coming.ā
āYeah, yeahā, Zade said, his brown eyes scanning Scarlett. āIs she even conscious?ā
āBarelyā, Alannah admitted.
Zade sighed, wanting to get over this with. He really didnāt want to get in trouble. āAlright, letās get her in the car.ā
Scarlett groaned as they helped her into the backseat. Her voice thick with sleep.
Zade shook his head, muttering something under his breath as he closed the door. Alannah tried to ignore it. She already felt miserable begging him for help.
The drive to Alannahās house was quiet, save for the soft hum of the engine and Scarlettās occasional mumbled nonsense.
āIām not taking any responsibility for thisā, Zade said abruptly, breaking the silence.
Alannah glanced at him from the passengerās seat, her expression guarded. āYou wonāt have to. I promise Dylan wonāt find out.ā
āHeād kill me if he knew about this and I didnāt tell him shitā, he muttered.
Alannah kept looking at him with an almost stoic face. āThen itās a good thing he wonāt.ā
Unsurprisingly, Scarlett had dozed off when they tried to get her out of the car as they arrived at Alannahās.
āSeriously?ā, Zade mumbled as he looked over to Alannah who was raising her hands in defense.
āI canāt carry her all the way up. Sheās too heavy fāmeā, Alannah said, looking at Zade with an unbothered look.
āDeadass? Why do I have to do everything? I didnāt try to leave my DNA here, remember?ā, he said as he slowly put his arms under her back and legs, trying to carry her bridal-style.
āHey, weāre on the same boat, okay?ā, Alannah said, trying to shut him up while carrying her and Scarlettās bag out of the car.
āJust sayingā, he mumbled. By this time, Scarlett had already wrapped her arms around his shoulders and nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck. Almost automatically, Zade tightened his firm grip around her as he was waiting for Alannah to lead the way.
In Alannahās bedroom, Zade gently laid Scarlett on the bed and then turned around to Alannah.
āThanks for your helpā, she said, smiling slightly at him.
āWaitā, Alannah then said abruptly. She tried to think sharply about the words she was about to say, but they came out nevertheless.
Zade turned around again, hands in the pockets of his jeans. āYeah?ā
āCan youā¦ just stay for like, five minutes? I need to shower. I got alcohol spilled on me, and I feel gross. I donāt want to leave Scarlett alone tho. In case something happensā, she looked at him pleadingly.
Zade looked around the room, trying to think. āUhh, not really, to be honest. I- I donāt think this is a good ideaā, he answered kind of apologetic. In reality, he thought that was a shitty idea. No way heād stay here alone with his friendās drunk little sister. Heās heard way too many stories on social media and he was not planning to be accused of something similar.
āPlease?ā, Alannah tried once more. āWhat if she throws up and chokes? Or falls off the bed and hit her head? Just five minutes, I promise.ā
Zade thought about it. He realized what good of a friend Alannah actually was, despite calling half a stranger to help her with her friend then even leave her alone with him. Then he didnāt know if that was actually a good or bad thing. In fact, he also realized that something like that was never done for him. He wouldāve appreciated a real caring friend.
āAlright, fineā, Zade sighed and pulled the hood off his head, leaving his fluffy hair to show.
āThank you sooo much, oh my god. It wonāt take long, I promiseā, Alannah said happily, snatched her clothes and ran straight into the bathroom.
Zade sank into the armchair next to Alannahās bed with a sigh. Scarlett laid sprawled across the bed, her blonde hair fanned out against the pillow. Her face, usually expressive and filled with sarcastic energy, was soft in the dim light of the small table lamp. She looked peaceful, vulnerable even, with the alcohol drawing her features into a calm haze.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, a sharp reminder of the late hour. As he idly scrolled through his messages, he caught himself glancing at Scarlett every few moments, as if to make sure she wouldnāt suddenly topple off the bed.
She stirred, mumbling incoherently. Zadeās attention snapped to her. Her eyes fluttered open, glassy and unfocused, before a lazy smile spread across her lips. āZade?ā, she murmured, her voice soft and thick with sleep.
āYeah, itās meā, he said softly, as if heād disturb her little slumber if he talked louder.
She blinked, her brows knitting together. āWhy are you here?ā
He leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms. āYou donāt remember?ā
Scarlettās lips parted as she searched her foggy memory. āAlannah called you?ā
āYeahā, he said, his tone dry. āShe thought Iād be the next best thing since you donāt want Dylan to know.ā
Scarlett let out a soft sigh, her head rolling to the side to look at him more directly. āYouāre niceā, she said, the words tumbling out without hesitation.
Zade frowned, taken aback by the comment. āNot sure thatās how anyone would describe me.ā
She shook her head, her movements slow and uncoordinated. āNo, you are. Thatās why Iā¦ thatās why I kept your number.ā
His brows furrowed. āWhy do you even have my number in first place?ā
āDylanā, she explained, her voice barely audible. āSaid to call you if I needed anything. A long time ago.ā
A slight smile formed in the corners of his lips. Zade thought about it. That meant Scarlett trusted him. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. āBut why would you still have it?ā
Scarlett hesitated, her expression shifting. She looked almost shy, a rarity for her. āI kept it becauseā¦ because I thought you might call one day. Or text, Maybe youād notice me.ā
Zadeās smile faded. He had expected any other explanation than that. āNotice you?ā, he repeated, his voice quiet.
āNot as āDylanās little sisterā. But as me, Scarlett, whoās grown up to be a young woman with her own feelings.ā
Her words hit him like a sucker punch, unexpected and heavy.
āI liked you, Zade. Always have.ā Scarlett continued, her voice thick with emotion. āBut you didnāt see me like that so I tried to forget. But I couldnāt. Not really.ā
Zade sat back, her words replaying in his mind. She really liked him. Before he could respond, her eyelids drooped, and she drifted back to sleep, her breathing soft and even.
Zade stared at her for a long moment, his thoughts swirling. He felt like heād been thrust into the middle of something he wasnāt prepared for, yet he couldnāt deny the weight of her confession. It stirred something deep inside him, something he wasnāt ready to name.
2 weeks had passed since that night. Alanna had told Scarlett about what happened and that Zade came to help. But Scarlett didnāt know anything about what she had told him drunkenly. Yet.
She came home from a shopping tour with Alannah when she saw Zade and her brother in the living room. Her heart dropped to her stomach. Two weeks had passed since she last saw him. She thought of the worst. Maybe he told Dylan about her getting drunk. They looked at her as she came through the front door. Zadeās eyes never leaving hers. They followed her walking up the stairs into her room. A good two hours passed and Dylan hadnāt called her once to talk. Did it mean that he didnāt know about it at all or he was just so disappointed in her? Her curiosity grew. She then looked out of her window, only to find Zade wandering in their backyard, smoking a cigarette. Dylan was nowhere in sight, so she took her chance.
Scarlett hesitated as she stepped into the backyard, her heart hammering against her ribs. Zade was looking at the pretty flowers planted in front of the fence, a cigarette dangling between his fingers. The soft glow of the setting sun bathed the yard in warm hues, but the tension Scarlett felt as she approached was anything but warm.
āYou shouldnāt smokeā, she said, her voice tentative.
Zade turned, his brown eyes locking onto hers. āYou shouldnāt drink like thatā, he countered, exhaling a stream of smoke.
Scarlett winced, guilt and embarrassment curling in her chest. āI know. It was stupid.ā
āStupid doesnāt even begin to cover itā, Zade said, his tone sharper than expected. āDo you have any idea how dangerous it is to get that drunk? Anything couldāve happened to you.ā
āWhy do you care?, she asked, crossing her arms defensively.
Zade blinked, caught off guard by the question. āWhat?ā
āYouāre not my brotherā, she said, her voice tingled with frustration. āSo why do you care about it?ā
He dropped the cigarette, crushing it under his shoe before turning to her fully. āBecause of what you said that night.ā
Her stomach twisted. Her suspicion turned into a different direction than before. She didnāt remember anything from that night, let alone what her drunk self may or may not have told him, apparently. āWhatā¦what did I say?ā
āYou told me you liked meā, Zade said, his eyes scanning her face.
Scarletts breath hitched. She didnāt know what to say so she didnāt even try and kept looking at him. Heās just messing with her memory loss, she thought. But he said it in a seriousness, that sheās never seen come from him.
āOh my godā, she whispered, covering her mouth.
āNoā, she said quickly, though her voice wavered. āI meanā¦I was drunk. I didnāt know what I was saying.ā
āDrunk people always tell the truth, Scarā, Zade said, his tone was firm.
Her hands dropped to her sides, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. āFine, yes, I like you. Iāve liked you for a long time. Happy now?ā
Zadeās expression softened, and he took another step closer. āWhy didnāt you ever say anything?āĀ Ā
Scarlett let out a bitter laugh. āWhat was I supposed to say? āHey, Zade, I know you see me as your best friendās little sister, but I think I might be falling for you.ā That wouldāve gone over well.āĀ Ā
āYouāre wrongā, he said, surprising her.Ā Ā
Her brows knitted together. āWhat?āĀ Ā
āYouāre wrong about how I see youā, he said, his voice low but steady. āYou think I donāt notice you? That I donāt care about you?āĀ Ā
Scarlettās heart raced as his words sank in. āWhat are you saying?āĀ Ā
āIām saying youāve been more than just Dylanās little sister to me for a long timeā, Zade admitted, his brown eyes burning with intensity. āI just didnāt think you felt the same way.āĀ Ā
Scarlett stared at him, her mind struggling to keep up. āYouā¦you like me?āĀ Ā
āYeahā, he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. āI do.āĀ Ā
She let out a shaky laugh, relief and disbelief washing over her in equal measure. āThis feels like a dream.āĀ Ā
Zade reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. āItās notā, he said softly. āBut if weāre going to do this, we have to be careful. Dylan canāt find outānot yet.āĀ Ā
Scarlett nodded, her heart swelling with hope. āI donāt care about Dylan. I justā¦I want this. I want you.āĀ Ā
Zade leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a kiss that was both tender and electrifying. It felt like a promiseāa beginning theyād both been too afraid to reach for until now.Ā Ā
As they pulled apart, Scarlett smiled, her cheeks flushed. āSo, what now?āĀ Ā
Zade smirked, his thumb brushing against her cheek. āNow, we figure it out. Together.āĀ Ā
āHEY! YOU GUYS BETTER STOP NOW I SWEAR TO GOD OR IāLL KILL YOU!ā, Dylan shouted from the open window, looking at them.
Idek how long it has been yāall, Iām sooo sorry š¢. I just had to deal with a lot of shitty situations and ppl these past months but THANKFULLY summer is almost there so I am def feeling a lot better.
And now that Iām back, it is time for me to EAT up my blog if yāall let me COOK!!! Iām in such a 2014-2017 mood currently and Idk why. Like, Iāve always been in such a vibe but lately, Iām feeling it more than ever, Idk I canāt explain it so Iāll just blame it on summer thatās next door sooo.
As an apology for ghosting, Iāll post my very first OC one shot tonight that Iāve kept in my drafts for quite a dusty while now š„³ HAVE FUN READING IT BITCHEZZZ!!!!!
How Iāma look at my future husband when he tells me to make sure the house is clean and dinner is ready once he gets home as if he doesnāt know that itās always ready and clean when he gets home. Are u mf cheating??
still looking 4 a future hubby btw if anyoneās interested
