confessions of a grumpy soul

mildly cynical thoughts. also i hope you're not allergic to gluten, because these puns will be the greatest since sliced bread

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welp this is awkward

“for infant girls”

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didn't want to be a basic, but i love pumpkin spice lattes. so instead of just going to starbucks i decided to try all the pumpkin spice lattes this fall. from everywhere but starbucks.

tried mcdonald's today. It was quite sweet, like a gas station cappuccino.

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i’ll (hopefully) be going to my first anime con in november. i am a poor student who doesn’t sew, so i planned to order a cheap cosplay online. i showed the dress to my mom and she frowned and said, “that skirt is too short.” so i thought, “i’m doomed.” then she said, “i’d hate to see you spend your money on this. i’ll just make it for you instead with the skirt a little longer.” and that’s how i went from a store-bought cosplay to tailor-made… dress codes for the win! 

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Now she’s sending me e-mails titled, “red sandals for cosplay” with links to different sandals. 

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i’ll (hopefully) be going to my first anime con in november. i am a poor student who doesn’t sew, so i planned to order a cheap cosplay online. i showed the dress to my mom and she frowned and said, “that skirt is too short.” so i thought, “i’m doomed.” then she said, “i’d hate to see you spend your money on this. i’ll just make it for you instead with the skirt a little longer.” and that’s how i went from a store-bought cosplay to tailor-made... dress codes for the win! 

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I couldn’t buy this shirt for my hipster boyfriend. 

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when i went to mcdonald’s as a kid i used to stand in front of the happy meal toy display and mentally rated all the toys from the one i liked the most to the one i liked the least. but i would never say it out loud because i was worried about “hurting the toy’s feelings”.

[itsmondaypunday]

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

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can we taco about it?

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I went to an art museum

My boyfriend and I decided to go to the art museum, dress like hipsters, and make fun of modern art (and enjoy some art, too). I wore my Starry, Starry, Night skirt (and he wore his "hipster hat" and a nice tie). Our first exchange went as follows... Front desk man: [to my boyfriend] I like your tie! Boyfriend: I like your vest! Front desk man: [to me] I like your skirt! The second exchange involved a security guard stopping, looking at my skirt and then asking me about it. Then he asked if it looked nice when I twirled in it. I said I didn't know, since this was the first time I'd ever worn it. So of course I had to try. And that is the story of how I ended up twirling like a princess in front of a security guard and giggling.

[punsandonlypuns]

Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes but when I do have something in my eye it’s usually an eyelash. Eyeronic!!

[scared-crow]

Don’t lash out at us

[punsandonlypuns]

Ill try and put a socket in it for now

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Eye see what you mean

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confessions of a grumpy soul

sometimes when i’m feeling cynical i want to do an anti-pay-it-forward… like leaving notes on gumball machines saying, “pay it forward” and not putting any coins in the machines. or offering to pay for the person behind you at a restaurant, but giving them an empty gift card