change is gonna come @changeishopefullygonnacome - Tumblr Blog

Thursday, December 5th

I’m studying for a bigger test right now, so most of the days are spent just sitting down, for hours. Bright side, is that you usually won’t eat too bad, because you only have the food you brought to the study rooms and libraries. Unless your friends bring candy, which happened yesterday.

But, I went to the gym today! And I also learned that I got a really good grade on my last test, which is nice. My confidence is a little bit boosted, at least.

Monday, December 2nd

Hello again!

It isn’t going great but it isn’t going absolutely terrible. I’ve started to work out again; I went to the gym today for example.

This weekend I didn’t eat healthy but it wasn’t worse than per usual. I also went to 2 parties/clubs which meant that I walked about 16 000 steps both Friday and Saturday. I’ve been enjoying lots of ginger breads (can’t stop) and a couple of saffron buns (because, Christmas) but I also didn’t get anything at McDonalds when me and my friends went there after the club so I guess that’s something.

I don’t know if the best option when trying to do a lifestyle change is to just start, head on, change everything, or to ease yourself into it. I’m hoping the latter because that’s what this is turning into being.

Wednesday, November 27th

Hello again blog,

the healthiness isn’t going great but not awful either.

It’s hard, when you have lots of appointments with friends to do stuff (which often includes eating something together) and also just being a university student because all you do is sit still and study. I also don’t wanna give up going to parties and such, which I’m doing Friday and maybe even Saturday.

So it’s not going to be a huge, quick change but I’ve accepted that.

So Monday went well. Didn’t really eat differently besides that I tried to not snack in between meals. I’ve noticed that I often do that, and try to stop by rather you have something that’s a little bit more than like a cookie and also much more healthy. Usually you snack because you’re tired, a little bit hungry and have low blood sugar which eating something real will help with.

Tuesday was a cheat day. I had already promised friends a while back that we were going to have a movie night with sushi and candy. But up to that evening I was good.

Wednesday has been okay. I ate white rice with some left over indian takeaway for lunch which I don’t know how healthy that was, and then I bought a couple of cookies because the money went to charity.

I have been trying to walk 8000 steps a day now, which is more than my usual 3000-4000 steps. I’m also going to try to hit the gym soon, I’ve just been feeling sick lately.

Goal #1

Shouldn’t be number one because it isn’t easy to reach, and maybe I won’t ever succeed but I’ve always wanted to be able to run 10K, a mile. That’s why it’s #1 because it’s an old goal. So yeah. Putting it out there.

Sunday, November 24th

I, just like everyone else, want many things.

I want to write more. I want to paint and draw more. I want to get better at art. I want to learn how to play guitar. One day, I want to be able to sing without sounding like a whale, although I know that day will never come.

Right now, I most of all want to want to be more healthy.

In our society there’s a constant pressure to always preform, to be on top. In school, at work, but most of all to look good. Be skinny, be trendy, wear nice clothes, have nice things.

This desire to change is not stemmed from that. At least not consciously. I’d be dumb to think that I wasn’t affected by this, but I sincerely can say that I don’t think that I want to do this change because of that. I want to do it for me.

I used to have a six pack when I was a kid, because of gymnastics. From the ages 13 to 18 I worked out 4-5 times a week. Then when I started working after graduated and then later moved into university studies, I lost most of my structured lifestyle, motivation, self discipline. Now I work out maybe one time a week.

I feel disgusting. I feel not pretty, even though I’ve never felt very pretty. I’ll eat something unhealthy, and then I’ll feel guilty so I can’t ever fully enjoy it.

It’s mostly in my head. They say exercising improves mental health. I’ve always worked out so I’ve never noticed the benefits. I think I do now.

So living a healthy lifestyle improves your mental health. Exercise extends makes you live longer, and live healthier as you do. This should be enough motivation.

It is enough motivation, in theory. I agree. It’s just hard to get started.

But I want to make this change now. Enough is enough. I’m tired of this. I don’t feel like myself, and I can feel myself slipping into a lifestyle that isn’t good for my physical nor mental health. I need to do this for myself.

Right now, I sit inside and study all day. I don’t eat healthily. With my spare time I watch Netflix. I party and I hang out with friends.

I don’t want to stop having fun. But this is what I want to change:

I want to start thinking exercising is fun again. I want to make it a habit. I want to stop eating all of this unhealthy stuff.

My goals are to start working out three times a week. It doesn’t have to be hour long workouts every time. Going for a walk is enough, some days. I’m going to stop eating ice cream every weekend, pizza, fries, chips.

I’m going to prepare food to take with me too uni. I’m going to stop to buy candy when I’m out. I’m going to drink alcohol less often and in less quantities. I don’t want food to be the only thing that is a treat.

I want to lose weight. I’m not going to weigh myself now. I know it’ll crush my confidence and I’ll give up. First I need to establish these habits. I want to feel lighter when I run. More powerful at the gym.

I want to feel better about myself. That won’t happen by losing weight so I look skinnier. I’m going to feel better because I’m healthier in my mind and body. Then I’ll be more confident.

This is what I can do for myself. The biggest gift from me to me. I’m going to start doing this until December 18, which is my 20th birthday. They say it takes 2 weeks for a habit to form. It’s about three weeks to the 18th of December.

Then I’ll form new goals.

Tomorrow I’ll start.

#change!!!!

Hello, anyone who is reading this

I’m an experienced tumbler in disguise. Okay, honestly, I’m more of an ex-tumblr who’s trying to get back into the swing of things.

But the main purpose of this blog is to actually blog. Who does that these days?

Moi, I guess.

Anyways, I’m mostly going to write about health stuff here, to myself, because no one else is going to read this. This is just to hold myself accountable to myself (obviously) and write out what I’m feeling on a new, unknown tumblr where I’ll be left alone (I swear that I’m a grumpy old man in spirit). So yeah, that my explanation to anyone who had the unfortunate luck to come across this.

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change is gonna come