Trying to Get Used to Having DID
Just some tips that I hope would be helpful to other systems.
Getting Used to Sharing The Body
Sometimes, when first learning that you are multiple, it can be very difficult, very scary. Though, know, that your headmates may be facing similar fear as your’s. They’re still alive, like you.
You’d wonder about every single thing of your alters, what they do with your body. If they’d like you, or destroy your entire life. It can be scary, knowing that you’ve been looked after by people you didn’t know were there.
After first getting used to your diagnosis:
• When you find information, give yourself some time to process it.
• You don’t need to know everything immediately, though do research a little bit here and there, it can be helpful.
• Denial is a natural occurance, especially with DID or OSDD
• Your headmates have known you before you known them, they’re not different as you now know they exist. You somewhat know what to expect in day-to-day life in general, you’re just as safe.
• Start researching into grounding techniques, when dissociation hits, and you become aware you’re near switching, you could go into a panic. That’s okay. A way to help, is using grounding techniques.
• Start using objects as a way to try to connect yourself with the world, to help deal with the anxiety.
• Don’t worry about telling anyone yet, don’t stress on it, give yourself time. Maybe share it with someone you know you can trust, so they could support you when you have moments you struggle to do it by yourself.
• You are not going to disappear.
• It will be okay. You will figure it out slowly, and with that, comes with settling anxieties.
• Take your own time, at your own pace.
• You don’t have to please anyone.
• There’s no wrong way of struggling with DID.
Denial is a very common thing with DID or OSDD. The disorder itself rejects unpleasant memories, then to accept the disorder, is to accept these things has happened. This is the opposite of what the disorder pushes for, so naturally, denial comes around even with hard evidence.
• Write notes to yourself for when denial hits, detailing evidence you value towards your disorder. Something that you’d find some comfort it, rather than fear.
• When denial starts to linger in the mind, just shove it away. You know what you have, and you’re determined to learn how to help you, to help your headmates. (Keeping in mind why denial rises is helpful)
• If it is based that your system is abnormal compared to the majority, know that all systems are different. Some systems have alters that follow the basic roles, other systems have alters that follow rules that can’t be described in labels. Some alters can provide fake memories to cover up time loss, blacking out.
• In the end, believe in yourself. Your emotions are usually what rejects the diagnosis. You would often just feel you may not have it, but know that’s just your brain’s coping mechanism on handling the past. Believe your thoughts. If you can hear your headmates, put some belief into them.
• Naming your system could help with some denial, it could help solidify the reality of your disorder and thus allow you to feel slightly more accepting of it. A system name, is just a name that addresses everyone.
Anxiety with System Communication
Often, there is an anxiety to try to contact headmates. You’re unsure on varying things. Maybe they won’t respond, or maybe the fact their handwriting is different would send up the panic. It’s okay.
• Be honest, true in nature
• You can take other people’s advice, but don’t follow exact phrases they say hoping your headmates would be more likely to respond.
• You can wait before you start to communicate, remember, give yourself time with little bits of information.
- leaving notes in obvious places
- starting to journal with the system
- taking some time daily in a dark, quiet place to try to reach out to headmates
- make a system map (relationships headmates have, strongest, weakest, oldest, newest, etc)
- leave out materials for younger headmates (Littles) so they are able to draw if they’d like to. This could help with some boundaries within the system.
Put yourself first, your safety and their safety is important. As a host, you have a purpose. Believe in yourself, I’m sure your headmates believe in you.
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