my blues

[chaosinside24-7]

📽: Her (2013)

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🎬: Perfect Days (2018)

There is something calm about this movie. Calm, clean, and warm.

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🎬: The Truman Show (1998)

Shakespeare says, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts."

I could feel this quote while watching this masterpiece. It also gave me a sense of freedom. We are free to choose our own ways. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

[chaosinside24-7]

How does it feel, knowing that everything you felt for a person has gone to waste? Everything you did for them, all the love you gave, all the tears you shed — all of it wasted. At this point, I don’t even feel the pain intensely anymore. I’ve just gone numb.

[chaosinside24-7]

No one celebrates my birthday like you did. No one bothers to put in that effort. No one is excited like you used to be.

My existence is just not worthy of being celebrated anymore.

[chaosinside24-7]

that time of the year again. I miss you extra.

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why can't my family behave normally for once? Why scar me? and make me insecure and make me wish for d/eath a day before Eid?

[chaosinside24-7]

a thread: my feelings

[chaosinside24-7]

Know what? no matter how much I try, how much I give, you're never gonna feel the same towards me. Never. But there'll always be someone who will say or do the bare minimum, and you will fall in love with them. I'll stand there watching - with nothing to do.

[chaosinside24-7]

how do I make them realise that they failed me? That they failed their own kid.

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Your face, so close to mine, could feel the warmth of it. Almost kissed it. But didn't. Just inches away from me but still out of reach. Just like two parallel lines.

[chaosinside24-7]

🍉A Lover from Palestine (Mahmoud Darwish)

Your eyes are a thorn in my heart,

inflicting pain, yet I worship them.

And I cherish your eyes,

for they are mine, and are a homeland.

If it were paper, I would tear it,

but it is my heart.

I will not tear my heart,

even as I part from you.

It hurts me to love you,

but I want no cure from my love.

I will not flee from you to others,

for you are my identity,

even if you break my heart,

even if I break your heart.

[chaosinside24-7]

The void in my chest is unexplainable.

[chaosinside24-7]

Well, the good news is, I don't fall in love with you anymore. The bad news is, I have to deal with the memories of yours.

[chaosinside24-7]

🎬: Good Will Hunting (1997)

[chaosinside24-7]

I remember myself scrolling through my inbox, desperately trying to find someone to talk to. No luck. I'll remember it all. Thank you, everyone, for your kindness.

[chaosinside24-7]

everything hurts. Everything seems meaningless. I don't know how to comfort myself. I keep wanting to end things. I know i need help. But i can't do anything.

[chaosinside24-7]