‘ fate ? ’ such a simple word , yet it holds endless possibilities . belief has always been something he has toyed with , not only in relation to fate , but the blurred outcome presents only fear . never hope . how can he allow himself to believe in fate ? fate would mean believing that he was destined to end up at the mercy of others , cruel beings who would find more joy in screams than smiles . the path of his life has transformed the idea of fate into something to fear . but beneath the horror that has tainted his existence lives moments of relief and only then can he dare to believe in fate , because fate also brought him rhys . that has to count for something . ‘ more like i don’t know if i want to believe in fate . maybe . ’ and that’s that , isn’t it ? they will never know if their belief or disbelief in fate is right . all xeno cares to believe in is this moment ; knowing that it is true , knowing that it is real , knowing that he is not alone . safety is found in the other’s presence . it is the kind of comfort in which things like fate or heaven no longer matter to him , because suddenly the present is all he needs . just him and rhys . he does not know how to tell rhys that , not without exposing deeper terrors and thoughts that he tries his best to hide , and so he doesn’t .
‘ thanks , you’re a fucking lifesaver . ’ before he knows it , there’s a helmet in his hand . he stares at it for a moment , briefly disconnected from reality , but soon gathers himself , flashing a grin at rhys . ‘ ready as i’ll ever be . your driving hasn’t got us killed yet . let’s keep it that way . ’ it may sound like basic teasing but there’s something else beneath it . something that says i trust you . ‘ let’s go home . ’
he takes a moment to digest his own question , debating wether or not he believes in fate hasn't ever stopped to think about it , things just HAPPEN very fast in his life , he barely has time to BREATHE sometimes , they just happen and happen and he wants it all to just freeze for a moment , but it grows heavy on his shoulders . there are only specific moments where rhys finds himself at ease , and he finds it exclusively beside xeno , in the way he smells , the way he talks . it brings out the sensation of comfort , even though this has been such a difficult task for him for so long , to feel comfortable around someone when he can’t even be comfortable with his own self . ❝ well, i think it’s best not to count on fate . not a fan of depending on things i can’t control. ❞ especially knowing what we know, he adds mentally , not wanting to bring any unwanted memories from both of them . see , rhys doesn't touch the TRAUMA subject anymore , they've past that ( or at least he thinks so ) now he just wants to reassure that the other is okay .
a lifesaver ? that’s new , considering his tendency of leaving a trail of chaos instead . he scoffs at the usual teasing . ❝ shut up ! i’m the best fucking driver you’ll ever know . ❞ and so he hops on his motorcycle , the gears' sound flood his ears , sending sparks of excitement through his whole body . it can only taste like freedom ; when there's no fear , when the one in control of his actions is only himself . loves racing , the cool breeze , colorful lights of the city at night . combine those things with xeno by his side and he'd be at peace . HOME HOME HOME. it sounds so natural when the other boy says it , like : home is where they're both at. together. and it takes exactly twenty-eight minutes for them to arrive. ❝ home sweet home. you hungry ? i think there's some ... pizza leftovers inside , though we could order something too . ❞
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