winter's ghost,

the cold's under my skin, it won't go. independent original character, est. 2015

[inrovina]

#INROVINA. file: subject one. an independent original character, established in november 2015. the personification of winter; a cold boy trapped in an inescapable immortal life, on the run from a government facility. blog is mutuals only, 21+. slow, sporadic activity. memes always welcome. everything is (literally) chill here!

ON (SEMI)HIATUS UNTIL MID AUGUST ☃️

written by river, 26, gmt. most replies are queued. also around on the xenoverse expansion pack aka @holyrots. carrd. memes.

[inrovina]

brain is constantly melted right now but i am waving at you all lovingly from my dissertation cave. xeno is hiding in a freezer somewhere to escape the summer and probably texting everyone he knows a million emojis. do not let your muses give him their phone number unless they want to decipher what 👋🥰☃️🫵🐶🌳🚶🤝❓🤗😁🥳👍👋 means

[inrovina]

hi river ily

HIIIIIIIIIIIII SYRIN ily!!!!!!!!

[saltwaters]

i know that @inrovina knows i am funny but can the rest of you laugh too thanks

[vanpeltgfx]

emergency fund. reblogs will be appreciated.

hi, this is a big ask right now, especially since i have been unable to post much in awhile. i'm merricat (aka mer/merri) and i do stuff on tumblr sometimes like gifs and graphics over on @vanpelts and @vanpeltgfx, as well as private rp blogs. i'm from west coast canada, so you may know me as one of those Canada Guys in the rpc.

basic explanation:

i am in a tough spot right now. my mom and i are dealing with a guy in our home (my father, apparently) who has been leeching off us for years, and been both emotionally and physically abusive to us. we are trying to work on getting him out of our household. we live in one of the most expensive areas of the country, not by choice, and have very few family members in immediate proximity to us. he doesn't have a steady job and my mom is the only with a semi-fixed income because i have to work freelance from home due to health issues (agoraphobia, autism, adhd, and yet to be identified chronic pain). my mom is suffering burnout that she tries to hide a lot, but is overworked and underpaid, recently lost a huge amount of hours due to budget cuts. i wouldn't normally ask for anything without providing something in exchange, but our internet has been cut off since my dad did not pay the bill and asked my mom to cover it this month. she does not want me to contribute so i have not asked her how much we are short, but any amount will help us a lot.

i normally do some graphic commissions for roleplay blogs (@vanpeltgfx is where i share things) and a few freelance jobs, but it's not doable right now since i had to take a health break and cool off. i do not want to overwork, i do not want my mom to stress when it's been such a tough thing already. i am doing whatever i can to find temporary assistance, but in the meantime, would really appreciate some help wherever.

how to help:

if you can and want to contribute anything, you can do so through my paypal: @/mutinyorg (please ignore my deadname) or on ko-fi: @/vanpeltgfx (same as this blog). i would truly appreciate even a tiny bit, just to show my mom that people care and are looking out for us, which i know they are but she sometimes needs a reminder of.

i'm unable to make a proper post right now, but i will happily do any graphic/gif commissions when i am able to, for those who donate $20+ if you leave your url and/or discord contact for me and message me a screenshot as a receipt. i will consider it an I Owe You kind of deal and can be super flexible if needed. if any recipients of previous commissions want to vouch for me, i'd love that too!

even if you can't do anything right now, knowing i have reblogs as support does work as a reminder of appreciation and hope for me. i would really like that for my mom most of all, who has had a rough life living with That Man for my entire existence.

finally:

to any friends of mine, even casual ones who care: i am endlessly grateful for all the kindness i have been given always, but especially this past year. it's been very dark and i am striving to be as healthy as possible to help my mom, as well as our two dear senior cats just function and be happy with what we have. regardless of what you end up doing, please do not apologize if you can't help or feel the need to say anything to me directly! reblogs are already a big contribution.

happy pride from a nonbinary lesbian to every queer person in our community. thank you so much for reading!

[vanpeltgfx]

actually annoyed that i didn't give this a funnier title that it truer to my brand so

for only $1, you could help a nonbinary lesbian get rid of an evil abuser who hates contributing to society and the well-being of they/thems and cishet women allies this pride month🫵👩‍❤️‍👩🌈👨‍❤️‍👨🏳️‍🌈

it is literally good karma this month if you reblog or say i'm a comedic talent or both when you rlly think about it 🤔

[inrovina]

happy pride month fellow little gay people in my phone

[inrovina]

i will make a proper semi-hiatus post soon but just a heads up that i have now started my last term of uni!! i'm about to launch into writing a novel for my final project, brain is absolutely fried + i'm not sure when i'll get to drafts but i appreciate you all thank you for being patient with me!!!

[inrovina]

@guttersniper said from behind, the first thing he's said to the black-headed youth on their porch: do you mind if i smoke?

the voice floats his way as if from a memory that's slipped loose and tumbled through his mind. xeno hears it, but he doesn't register it as real. just a mistake, some overlay of the past and the present, because these things often blur together for him. time isn't a straight line—it's a circle, a loop, spinning him out of control.

and mutt is another ghost. mutt is gone. mutt is—

behind him?

xeno turns, and mutt is there, and the shockwave of his sudden presence is enough to knock him off his perch. xeno falls off the porch steps, landing on the earth, mouth gaping wide open. enjoy this second of silence, mutt, because it's the last you'll be getting for a while.

"wha—what?" xeno's not three steps ahead; he doesn't think about mutt's unchanged stature, his short height and slight build, the timeless child still stood before him. he's only on step number one, which is that mutt, his friend mutt, is here, alive, not a ghost, not gone.

a grin breaks out, delirious and delighted. "holy shit!"

[inrovina]

@choicescreen / richard said: listen to me all the way, mm, through before you interrupt. and get upset. can you do that?

can he do that? it's a fair question, though one that xeno takes unfairly. his mouth seals shut in an unintentional pout. a hint of red rises in his face from some glowering furnace inside his icy chest—upset already, provoked by the unspoken words that warrant such a warning.

his arms fold across his chest. he sits like a stubborn child, chastised, the toe of his boot stabbing at the floor.

"fine," he says, tension trapped in his jaw. it's not fine at all, of course. his gaze flicks back up to richard and manages to fix there. "i'm listening."

[inrovina]

@choicescreen / amy said: you never give up, and you've got a good heart. a damaged heart, but a good heart.

amy sees too much. that's the problem with reporters, xeno's found. he suffers the same exposure with marco. he shrinks under the focused, all-seeing eye of her attention, wobbling on that uncertain tightrope between laughing and crying. it thickens in his throat, hard to swallow past, eased only by the shake of his head.

"you're being too nice to me." and he doesn't know what to do with that. easier to take a literal hit than sit with this, amy's verdict, someone who sees something good in him, even when she doesn't buy his bullshit.

"i give up. i give up plenty. i just..." a pause, the scrape of teeth against his lower lip. he shrugs. "can't stay down. not out of choice, trust me. you're the brave one here. you choose to do what you do."

[inrovina]

@choicescreen / face said: i’ll take a nice ripe camembert.

charmer. an eye roll is nearly provoked, though xeno has the good sense to quell the rebellion brewing in his own face while their order is taken. face's smooth-talking is having its intended effect; the waitress smiles at him, even laughs with him—not at him—before leaving.

"a camembert?" xeno says once she's gone, jaw hanging open a moment too long. he leans across the table, enough to keep his next words tucked safely into the pocket of air between them, "how does cheese relate to the con? parlez-vous français?"

[inrovina]

@guttersniper said: short answers save trouble.

"but that's so boring! i wanna know what's going on in your head. like, you can tell me anything. anything at all! you don't have short thoughts too, do you? you're not all like," xeno manages to stay silent for approximately five seconds, "in there, are you? 'cause i've got, like, a million things going on in here. you're lucky, really, you barely hear any of it. imagine being inside my head. i think most people would probably pass out. or jump out of a high window. or run screaming down the block. being in here really does that to you. what does yours do to you?"

finally, he stops to breathe.

[inrovina]

@guttersniper said: i know how to wait for a cab.

"so i'm supposed to leave you here, on the sidewalk, where literally anyone could come along and kidnap you?" he says this like a significant percentage of the population are kidnappers, and like he doesn't know that mutt has several knives on him at all times.

"um, no. that sounds, like, exactly what a kidnapper would want me to do. and i've been kidnapped plenty, so. take it from an expert." at being kidnapped, not at preventing kidnappings. whatever!

xeno just huffs. they've been stood here for one whole minute and he's already getting antsy, shifting from foot to foot.

[inrovina]

@choicescreen / balki said: i'm not looking at you in any way.

"so now you don't want to look at me?" he's needling is the truth, attention-hungry and looking for it at the buffet of balki. it was a boring wait, sitting outside while the night class crawled on by. no way he was entering that building. balki is going places, xeno is walking in circles.

quite literally now, dancing around until he's right there, a mischievous obstruction in balki's path. "is there something wrong with me?" fishing without the slightest hint of shame: "you don't like my face?"

[inrovina]

@choicescreen / murdock said: what do you say about it, matey?

"are we pirates now?" xeno seems half-delighted by the concept. the other half is regrettably replaying a very real brush with piracy he experienced centuries ago. short-lived as it might have been, it persuaded him he wasn't destined for life at sea. life in the air, though...

the thought moves across his face, slow as dawn breaking before it settles. his grin surrenders to a quick, frantic shake of his head.

"no, no way. if you're asking me, i say only birds were meant to fly. me, i'm meant to stay right here. on land. my head, you know, that can be in the clouds, but my feet?" another shake of his head. that serious. "nope."

[vitalphenomena]

@inrovina said: ‘it's not the first time i've been held hostage.’

"I'm not kidnapping you, Xeno. If this were a 302, you would know."

Her attempt to sound callously threatening fails miserably. She doesn't have it in her to treat him like he's pissing her off or like his concerns aren't valid—none of that is true. She just wondered, briefly, if he might respond better to such treatment.

Even if it does—is it worth it? Fuck, he's still a kid, basically. (As far as she can tell from physical examination alone.)

"A 302 is an involuntary psychiatric hold," she explains belatedly. "This isn't that. I don't think that's necessary."

[inrovina]

Xeno's eyes go wide, panicked, at involuntary psychiatric hold, as if he's already forgotten Dr. Mohan telling him he'd know if that's what this was.

Even with her repeated assurance, he can't find it in himself to calm down. His heartbeat is way too fast. He's sweaty, hot. Does she know how wrong that is? He can't exactly tell her hey, my usual temperature is below freezing. But Victoria is away, on an anniversary trip with Marco, and Samira is the only day shift doctor he's allowing near him.

"You don't think it's necessary? You're not gonna change your mind, are you? 'Cause you can't do that, you really can't. Can you call Wes? Or—"

He remembers what Victoria said, about if he needed someone while they're away... "or you can call Jack—Jack Abbot—you know him, right?"

[vitalphenomena]

SHE COULD. She would.

"Oh my god, you freak, I'm not an adulterer from the 1950s. I'm like anyoneeeee else trying to make it in this economy! This fucking gig economy! None of these words are even going to make sense to you."

She needs to find her keys and unlock the door without giving Xeno an opportunity to take custody of the liquor. That possibility seems unbearable.

Aria does not wait. Aria shoves her finicky door open and stumbles into her apartment, beleaguered and exhausted in a way uniquely attributable to Xeno.

She whips her head back to scowl at Xeno for a few heavy seconds, then finds them cups for their drinks. The bottle thuds against her counter.

"Uhhh, probably. Have you? 'cause I know you're not doing this right."

[inrovina]

THE GIG ECONOMY?????? Aria's right. None of these words make sense to Xeno. "There are gigs? Where are the gigs?" He's squinting, treating the statement like a mystery he has to work out, until— a-ha!

An actual gasp. He's totally cracked the code. "You didn't tell me you were a singer! Invite me to your next gig! We can do a duet!"

With far too much enthusiasm, Xeno enters Aria's apartment, going ooh and aaah as if they just walked into some luxury mansion. The moment he spies the bottle again, he makes a beeline for the counter.

"Yeah, obviously." Like, who hasn't? He laughs. "So many times. More times than you, for sure." As if getting kidnapped by your boss is a competition he wants to win. His hand is bypassing the cups, reaching straight for the bottle, attempting to do so without Aria noticing.

A distraction, hamming up the indignation as he exclaims, "What do you meannnn? How am IIIIII not doing this right?"