Living off Spite @chaotic-fluffle - Tumblr Blog

The unit's collective blog.

NSFW DO NOT INTERACT

This blog is for misc sys shit. we will show who is fronting more often here and do less agere related shit.

Hail thyself and protect the innocent.

REBRANDING WIP

#we'll make tags and shit later idk #system blog #anti endo #actually a system #I cannot stop eating bean sprouts #sys blog #endos do not interact #endos fuck off #anti radqueer #anti rq #anti harmful ANYTHING #literally just try to be a good person #nonhuman system

when the moodbooster disappears with the daylight hours and suddenly you feel empty again.

i hate having low energy.

im just. gonna play acnh and pretend I don't exist in this world.

i want to make moodboards for acnh cg Billy n' big sister cherri n' cg blathers ^__^

#blurry. probably a negative holder syskid.#this blog is still a rebranding wip lmao #endos fuck off

gonna rework this blog tmrw bcz I js realized how low effort it is hbshdb

its 3am rn tho so gn until then lmao 😭

#endos fuck off

thearcanon

awry alter

a term describing an alter who once identified/ was considered a systems core, but is trying to move away from that term and its connotations in order to work better with their system and undo old, misinformed habits.

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this term is anti-endo, and may not be reposted please !

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these alters may feel possessive of the systems collective identity, or consider the system to be “their system/alters” that is exclusive to “their mind” (in a way that is entirely separate, but CAN be related to being a host). this often comes with phrases like “these are MY alters, they split off from ME”, etc

born from the misinformation surrounding the “original identity” and/or being the first host either pre- or early post- discovery

a neutral or negative term, these alters are not trying to cause harm to others or make them feel as if they are "lesser", it is just a way of thinking they are trying to undo

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alt flags below cut

#leaving this here for kaspar bcz this is literally him #he hates being treated like a “”core/original“” but has such a hard time steering away from the thoughts that convince him he is/was #eating up this flag too actually crunchy

hhhh hate being upset

the thoughts tell me to just... leave. grab my phone and headphones and just disappear for the day without telling anyone. I'll go do everything by myself. I can't rely on other people when no one else cares about me or my wishes.

i love feeling unwanted unless I'm being significantly useful to others ahahhah what a great existence.

#endos fuck off #sys rant

comfort show + wake n bake + working on requests and blogs

nice morning

#★ — Blurry (they/it)#endos fuck off #cw weed mention #actually dissociative #anti rq #anti endo #not endo safe

our irl grandfather just called us a smoker.

so. what if. I strangle him. /nsrs/j

no but seriously I'm smoking weed and you have the BALLS to call me a smoker? fuck you.

if we didn't have weed we would be dead. end of story. so shut ur trap old man. 😒👎

—blurry soup

#cw weed mention #tw weed mention #I hate our body's family bro wtf r these trash mfs on about #like u voted for a cheeto stfu #anti endo #actually cdd #system stuff #blehdies

stupid visiting relatives ruining our joint break >:(

how dare u interrupt when the blunt was about to be passed to me? EVIL!!!

#endos fuck off #actually cdd #cw weed mention #tw weed mention

ibuprofette

ALL lolicons are pedophilies.

ALL Shotacons are pedophilies.

ALL pro and Darkshippers will turn into predators one day.

Fiction does affects reality.

honestly losing my fucking mind because no one can keep stable front without issues because people outside of the sys dont give a shit about us lmao

first they manage to trigger a traumaholder, and now I'm convinced that one of the militant ppl are lurking to try and keep us desensitized.

i hate being a system and I hate that having no environmental control in our life makes it even harder to just FUNCTION.

#endos fuck off #anti endo #endos dni #actually cdd #actually traumagenic #sys rant #endos are ableist #I hate being a system #I'm going to violently explode

i hate realizing that I've been in a state of fight or flight for like, majority of my life

i feel like the stress is genuinely killing me sometimes lmao

it makes sense though, unfortunately.

#at least the impending doom made it easier to figure myself out through the blurriness.#I'll be working on requests today. Stay alert if you are awaiting something from us.#endos fuck off #anti endo #actually cdd #not a vent. just an observation.

confession time

we have biiiig problems with morality ONLY when it comes to cannibalism , and I think it may be because so many of us hold and/or have a lot of intrusive thoughts surrounding that.

In the sense of we find it hard to see it in a fully negative light

Dont get me wrong , I'm not saying it should be normalized or that it's an okay thing

i just like honestly realized this as of late and it has me wondering about things

#cw cannibalism #tw cannibalism #again. I do not endorse anything and am very aware these are just thoughts that need to be rid of.#endos fuck off #actually traumagenic #sys rant #<- maybe idk lol #bites u all /j

anti-willo-fluttergoth

Shout out to pets of systems! <3

(Mostly because I love our pets)

~Shout out the the service dogs! We appreciate everything you do for you owner with a CDD [and other disabilities]

~shout out the emotional support animals! You also do so much for your owner(s) as well

~shout out to the rescues, your owner(s) are just as lucky to have you as you are to have them.

~shout out to the cats!

~shout out to dogs!

~shout out to the rabbits!

~shout out to the rodents!

~shout out to the reptiles!

~shout out to the birds!

~shout out to the fish!

~shout out to the horses (how dare you have a horse. They're mine now)

~shout out to the animals I missed out! (Sorry)

~shout out to pets who notice shifts in alters. To the ones who have a favourite alter and the ones who love their owner's alters equally.

~shout out to the pets who helped their owner(s) get through abuse or a traumatic time in their life.

~shout out to the pets who are sadly no longer with us. We miss you dearly.

If you'd like to share about your pets feel free! :]

#THISSSS ^^^^#literally our cat means everything to us #idk if we'd even still be alive without that fluffball #best cat ever I love my cat #she owns everyone in the house and she knows it but she's adorable so it's okay #pets in general honestly >>>>#ESP OUR OLD BEARDED DRAGONS RAH I MISS THEM #they were named spike and ducky after the lil guys in the land before time :3 they loved dandelions<3 #actually cdd #endos dni #also!!! love petmates too - esp the ones who are emotional support :3

sys-confessions

having to tag every sys post with ENDOS DNI ANTI ENDO DNI ENDOS I AM A REAL SYSTEM IM NOT PRETENDING I HATE ENDOS is so annoying i wish they would just Not exist

Why do ppl think this shit is FUN???

like dude I would give anything to be a singlet with no disorders who is able to live a happy life

but I fucking can't, because DISORDERS ARENT A CHOICE. THEY DONT JUST COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND THEY DONT JUST GO AWAY.

its exhausting, having no identity, no connection to whose who are supposed to be our friends and family, feeling like you're running a losing game.

if I had a choice, I would never have chose this. fuck no. this has been the worst experience of my life. being a system isn't fucking fun.

its feeling like you've got no control over your own life, it's not being able to look in the mirror without feeling like you're wearing someone else's skin, it's sobbing for hours because you know you'll never to be able to have the life you want.

knowing you'll never have your own life. that you will always have to share it with those who could easily chose to ruin it. it's instability and days of dissociation.

its not a game. it's not an identity. it's a fucking curse.