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Ok a phenomenon I've seen in other systems on s*sc*rd for some reason is alters trying to act tuff by saying they get in physical fights with other alters in their inner world/headspace like hello😭😭😭 why are you GENUINELY saying all of your limbs are prothstetic in headspace bc another part TORE ALL OF THEM OFF????😭😭😭 Is this a phenomenon on this app too I'm sssoooo noob
Why do ppl think this shit is FUN???
like dude I would give anything to be a singlet with no disorders who is able to live a happy life
but I fucking can't, because DISORDERS ARENT A CHOICE. THEY DONT JUST COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND THEY DONT JUST GO AWAY.
its exhausting, having no identity, no connection to whose who are supposed to be our friends and family, feeling like you're running a losing game.
if I had a choice, I would never have chose this. fuck no. this has been the worst experience of my life. being a system isn't fucking fun.
its feeling like you've got no control over your own life, it's not being able to look in the mirror without feeling like you're wearing someone else's skin, it's sobbing for hours because you know you'll never to be able to have the life you want.
knowing you'll never have your own life. that you will always have to share it with those who could easily chose to ruin it. it's instability and days of dissociation.
its not a game. it's not an identity. it's a fucking curse.
WE’RE OUT OFTHERAPY!!! WE SHOULD BE GETTING MEDS SOON TOO SO NO MORE OF US BEING FUCKING CRAZY YAYAYAY YES YAY YIPPEE
-poob
You want systems to show you the bad shit? here it is. Here's the current most unhealthy part of the system shouting at you our problems. My name is Twotime. I am a trauma and symptom holder. There were others before me, but I'm the most recent. No, I did not form in a week, I am a long standing identity that has introjected to appear & act similarly to a fictional character. I am well aware of this, but to me, I am TwoTime, and I act, as such, like myself. Let me air out our pain for your judging stares and approval. Let me show you what it's really like to live like this daily. Let me show you its not about the alters. It's about the emotions, the barriers, the inability to feel functional, the inability to feel integrated into society. I am the one who speaks of the pain my healthier parts ignore, for it is not their purpose. They live blissfully away from the actual pain trauma causes upon this body, leaving those of us who can actually feel the trauma to live in pain and suffering. Do not let this blog being written by an alter fool you. It's not about alters. I struggle to function. I struggle to find help. I cant afford medication. I cant risk the psych ward due to the assaults. It's sickening to believe anyone would want this. It's sickening to think about all the people who treat it like it's fun. It's sickening to think one would be called fake for having a two time alter. It sickens me. It is not of the lord. You are not of the Lord. You are full of sin and so am I. Nobody is pure. Nobody is saved and nobody is a savior. Please, step into spawn's domain and let me show you real pain, real struggling, things healthier parts would never dare to speak of. It's so hard to speak up for yourself when your always overshadowed by the healthier versions of yourself.
Hear only evil, see only evil, speak only evil.
If fictives from problematic sources are something you are "against" as if it can be controlled, go ahead and save yourself time by not following us. We have plenty of them.
If you are off put by fictives that are not source sperated, save yourself some time by not following because most of us aren't.
If you turn your head up at systems for things they don't have control over, go ahead and skip following us. We do not want to your friend.
-no clue 🧍🏻
confession time
we have biiiig problems with morality ONLY when it comes to cannibalism , and I think it may be because so many of us hold and/or have a lot of intrusive thoughts surrounding that.
In the sense of we find it hard to see it in a fully negative light
Dont get me wrong , I'm not saying it should be normalized or that it's an okay thing
i just like honestly realized this as of late and it has me wondering about things
hhhh hate being upset
the thoughts tell me to just... leave. grab my phone and headphones and just disappear for the day without telling anyone. I'll go do everything by myself. I can't rely on other people when no one else cares about me or my wishes.
i love feeling unwanted unless I'm being significantly useful to others ahahhah what a great existence.
lmao I will never be able to say this enough
being a system is NOT fun
high stress, boredline traumatic event happens? good luck with that two day on-and-off headache and suffocating dissociation !!
what's happening ? I have no bloody clue. that's the worst part.
with that, I apologize to the anon waiting on yatta, she doesn't do high stress and exhaustion, unfortunately.
—I've got zero clue.
