Hello there, nice to meet you I'm Leaf (or anti-willo-fluttergoth)
~They/them or fae/faer pronouns
~goth
~nonhuman
~autistic cdd system (anti endo)
~This is a side blog (username inspired by @/anti-willo-miku and others) we want to interact more with systems on here and also keep syscourse posts off of our main
(Main is @moonjay-the-forest-spirit we post mainly about our experiences on there, system, neurodivergence and alterhuman stuff and whatever else)
~against harassment, fakeclaiming, systemcringe and whatnot people we disagree with are still people and if those things would harm us they will harm them too.
#🦇🪻sharing kindness🪻🦇 : all our system positivity and support will be under this tag.
#fluttergoth fillies: this is where we assign people horse photos from our pinterest. If you would like to be assigned a horse just ask!
#fluttergoth being goth for a sec: goth stuff as you can probably tell
Please feel free to use our ask box. We don't bite (unprovoked at least) obviously not a professional but feel free to ask questions or for advice. Or even ask to get a randomly assigned horse photo from pinterest. I love doing that.
idk who needs to hear this, but it doesnt make you less punk/goth/whatever if you buy shein from a thrift store. the money was already spent on the item, and you buying it from a thrift store doesnt give shein more money. if its never bought, the item will just end up in a landfill and cause more pollution.
i do not buy from shein, but i do see a lot of other goths or punks policing others for buying shein second hand
like all anti willo blogs you are projecting your paranoia and inner turmoil into bizarre theories. you will assume this is coming from an endo because like all these blogs you will project endo onto anything you don't like and anything you don't like into endos. you are detached from reality and projecting that into cdd spaces and furthering the connection between endos and cdds. paragraph after paragraph of endo shit is not healthy and you are engaging and encouraging a toxic, anti recovery community. touch grass and stop encouraging this shit.
Well that's a lot of assumptions you just made about me, a complete stranger. I mainly post positive, supportive and PRO-recovery posts for people with CDDs. Very little of my own original posts are about endos, maybe take a look? I'm going to write my next one soon Ive just been a bit busy
But anyway I unfortunately didn't touch any grass today as it was raining but I did infact touch a tree and pick some berries!! (They were tasty)
Here's your proof which I hope satisfies you :]
I love spending time in nature and I certainly spend way more time thinking about it than I do thinking of endogenic systems or whatever. But I can't control how you perceive me. Have a lovely day and be kind <3
I actually think there's something sweet about fusion. not just on a level of healing but on an emotional level. We are finally so close , so connected , our walls that separated us have broken down, we are finally allowed to be one. Our connection grows beyond that of just the two of us but allows to form someone entirely new even if it means we ourselves cease. We have healed from what caused us enough to join together and be together forever. We can finally truly understand one another , no barriers between us, just us in this empty space, where we can continue to grow together as one.
It seems my recent post has given us more attention than usual and we've gotten some hateful asks.
So anon asks are off now.
We have very severe anxiety and I don't want us to be sent into any more anxiety attacks. Remember there's a person on the other side of the screen.
Our public asks are still open as I want us to be part of a community and are happy for folks to chat with us or send requests for our positivity posts.
By the way its perfectly normal to not know why an alter split. it doesnt make you “mixed origin”. I do not know the exact reason why I split. I know for certain that we are still a pwcdd. that doesnt mean u fall into endo nonsense. dont let them tell you that.
The endogenic community uses pwCDDs amnesia, poor internal communication, and lack of understanding a lot about themselves as avenues to peddle their mystical misinformation
Alot of people think that parts are only triggered to front by external things or experiences, such as certain situations, people or environments, but that isn't true. Parts aren't only triggered to front by external things/experiences, internal things/experiences can also trigger a part to front.
Disclaimer: This post may not be entirely accurate, since I mostly based this off of our personal experiences. Don't see this post as 100% reliable. Feel free to correct me or share information I missed.
Internal front triggers (non exhaustive list):
Dreams or nightmares
Thoughts (eg. intrusive thoughts, daydreams)
Sensations (eg. hunger, fatigue)
Emotions (eg. panic, anger)
Health (eg. flare-up, fever)
Internal conflict between parts (eg. parts not agreeing on what happened in the past)
These potential triggers can be a result of external experiences, but that isn't always the case. For example: panic can be caused by a trauma trigger, but it can also be caused by an anxiety disorder or another disorder.
It's also important to note that there isn't a clear line between internal and external experiences.
Examples of switches (non exhaustive list):
The system dreamed about something that reminded them of a past trauma. When they wake up, a trauma holder is in front.
The system has alot of intrusive thoughts and feel scared or guilty because of that. Now an emotional protector is in front to stop them from spiralling.
The system feels very hungry. Now a caretaker is in front to make sure they eat well.
The system feels very angry. Now an anger holder is in front, so the other parts won't be affected by the anger later on.
The system has a fever. Now a symptom holder is in front to manage the symptoms.
Two parts are fighting. Now a gatekeeper is in front to temporarily separate them.
These examples are just examples. Each system will react differently to the same potential trigger. Some will switch to a caretaker, some will switch to a trauma holder, some will switch to a symptom holder, etc. Some won't switch at all.
We've only fairly recently figured this out ourselves, so I wanted to share this. I hope this helped some of you!
Thankyou for this we sometimes get confused when we switch and we were just sitting in our room in silence with nothing happening. This makes a lot of sense!
Most systems who know about r/systemscringe hate the subreddit, no matter what stance on syscourse they have. We also hate it and we wanted to explain why.
Anyone can get posted
While r/systemscringe's first rule says that only fakers are allowed to be posted, their description says that both real systems and fakers are allowed to be posted.
First rule:
1. Must be cringe content: This subreddit is intended for posting cringe related to factitious and exaggerated portrayals of DID/OSDD (including the online roleplaying of "plurality".) Minors under age 15 are not allowed to be posted (see rule 3). Personal write-ins and stories are allowed (flair as textpost). Remember to censor/omit all identifiable information.
Description:
For all the cringe associated with those who claim to be "systems" - faking or not. Remember to read the rules before posting or commenting, long live the cringe!
This contradiction allows people to post real systems while presenting those systems as "fake" (especially when posted without a flair), without facing any consequences from the moderators.
Flairs: They have several flairs, including a "non-faker cringe" flair which makes clear that the system posted isn't faking. Using that flair is admitting that they find real systems "cringe" (ableism). When not using this flair, that doesn't necessarily mean that the system posted is faking, but it could easily be interpreted as such.
Misinformation
r/systemscringe has a misinformation problem, even though they claim to combat misinformation. They have two rules related to this:
6. Do not fakeclaim without a reason and/or evidence: Provide a reason or provide evidence as to why you believe a person is faking a dissociative disorder.
7. Don't spread misinformation about DID/OSDD: This includes, but is not limited to: supporting endogenics, denying the existence of clinical DID and OSDD, and other such misinformation.
Rule 6 is usually followed, but the reasons people give why certain systems are fake almost never include a source. Sometimes their reasons go directly against well known facts about CDDs (or human psychology in general), such as "they are faking because they have an introject of a popular character", "they are faking because their child parts don't act like actual children" or "they are faking because they talk about their symptoms online". This violates rule 7, but that is almost never acknowledged.
What if they're right?
If an actual faker gets posted there, instead of a real system who happens to "look fake", it still won't help anyone.
Someone "exposing" a faker on reddit won't make them stop faking. Alot of people who fake disorders have some serious underlying issues they need to work on. Being "exposed" will usually just convince them they need to fake more or "better", instead of getting the help they need. You can't shame someone into becoming a better person.
If the faker is trolling, that faker will definitely fake more once posted, because that will get them more attention from that subreddit. In that case, r/systemscringe is feeding the trolls.
My takeaway:
r/systemscringe makes fun of both fakers and real systems, present real systems as fake, allows misinformation to be shared, doesn't stop people from faking and feeds the trolls.
They don't care about people with CDDs, they just care about laughing at "cringe".
it's ok if your mental illness doesn't "look" the way you think it should.
it's ok if you're depressed, but you look like you're functioning on the outside.
it's ok if you're anxious, but everyone you know would describe you as confident.
it's ok if you self harm, but there's no scars on your body.
it's okay if you have an eating disorder, but you're not underweight.
it's okay if you have a cdd, but your switches aren't obvious.
it's okay if you have a personality disorder, but the parts people expect to be loud are quiet.
it's okay if you have ocd, but your compulsions aren't just "washing your hands and locking the door".
it's okay if you don't fit the stereotype. it's okay if nobody can tell you're sick. it's okay if you're healing, and your healing makes you look "fine". it doesn't make you cured, or a liar, or overexaggerating, to seem okay.
I wanted to talk about some hard truths about Littles in online spaces that we tend to ignore.
For context; my system is very little heavy. I would say we’re about 1 to 3 in the Adults to Little Ratio- with about 16 of those littles being active fronters. I have a very loud opinions on littles for this reason. I’m going to alternate things from Little specific hard truths and then internet safety for littles hard truths.
First things first; Littles in Adult systems without a way to make friends are lonely. An in system friendship is different from an out of system friendship. Unless you have a group of system friends you trust and talk to often, most littles don’t have a chance to make friends safely.
Secondly, Online Little Spaces are not a safe place for littles to make friends. The uncomfortable truth is that there are people who suck and are fully willing to take advantage of a little for their own sexual gratification. I see a lot of people being mad when on Discord, littles aren’t allowed to talk. However, the reason it’s in place is because Discord Servers can’t protect the littles from harm until it’s too late.
Following up the second point, Littles can be sexual holders. Sometimes it’s a role a little HAS to fill to keep the system safe. Being uncomfortable is valid, but denying that it exists ignores the trauma someone had to go through for that to happen. If it makes you uncomfortable, that’s normal, but what we AREN’T going to do is call Sexual Holder Littles nonexistent or the problem.
Fourth on the list, treating every little online like a little uwu baby is part of the problem, but LETTING your most vulnerable littles and middles talk in online chats is also part of the problem. Some parts need babysitting- that in itself is okay, but public online spaces is not the place to get babysitting! I would never leave my littles alone with a stranger much less a bunch of strangers.
And finally, I have seen a lot of folks online treat their littles with a sort of abandon. Like “Oh, I don’t understand my little, they’re so weird and quirky!” or “Oh my god, my little is such an uwu little guy” Hey folks, talk to your littles. They’re a member of the system too. A lot of your confusion around your littles could be solved by asking them questions to help them find the words to explain it to you. And, a lot of littles are extremely articulate! Bragging online that you aren’t able to understand your littles is weird! If you don’t understand, ask! If they can’t communicate or aren’t yet, keep working on it! Don’t just laugh at them and move on. Your brain didn’t split this guy for no reason, think about why it happened and engage with them.
I don’t know how to end this post. Maybe something something, Alter age isn’t real, but not listening to littles sure is something something if your part is vulnerable stop letting them be in dangerous situations.
As an autistic system I do notice that the way endos/ntgs view/treat plurality/systems is very similar to how (mostly allistic but sometimes autistic folks too) view and treat autism.
"It's not a disability it's a superpower! You're not disabled your differently abled! Everyone's a little bit on the spectrum! Oh yeah I'm sooo autistic" autism has been made something cute and quirky. Men are wanting "autistic" girlfriends but I'm sure if a real autistic woman was anywhere near them they'd revert back to bully they were in middleschool. Traits like stimming and special interests are romanticised, while the more "ugly" parts are all ignored and forgotten. White autistics with Lower supports needs are centred and most often leave their POC and higher supports needs siblings behind and/or speak over them.
DID too has suffered from being sensationalised and glamorized, the alters/multiplicity aspect has been romanticised and taken by outsiders while the "ugly" parts have been left out and forgotten. "Plurality isn't a disorder it's just some vague phenomena anyone can experience! If you wish you were a system, now you can be!" It's just a quirky identity stripped of it's "baggage". Plural communities constantly decentre CDD systems, their most vulnerable group, we are not listened to because our disorder isn't pretty, because we don't want our experiences and language appropriated , because we don't abide by their idealised version of Plurality and blindly agree with their community.
The "tiktokification" of autism does not represent me, the "tiktokification" of systems doesn't either. I'm not against sharing the good parts of your disorder/disability but you must remember it IS a disorder/disability. There is also nothing wrong with relating to traits of a disorder without having it. But,once again, do not speak over us!!
(Sorry if what's written I all over the place, the post was started by one alter and its been a few day I've decided to finish it and post it. I hope what we've written makes sense. Be kind and have a lovely day)
as a physically disabled system something that IRKS me to no end is when systems use the mobility aid emojis as sign offs for alters. its usually fictives which is fine but if you're not disabled or actually use that mobility aid i think you're fucking weird.
the amount of times ive seen this emoji used 🦻as an alters sign off and the system isnt deaf or hard of hearing. it does piss me off ngl!
its not really an issue i suppose.. i just Don't like it much as i am deaf and it just feels like cosplaying or roleplaying to me. you do you but i am silently judging
i was lowkey scared i was gonna get crucified saying this ngl. i have more to say on it though. especially when its fictives having their sign off being a mobility aid or visual representation of disability when the system isnt disabled also just feels incredibly reductive.
why are you reducing this character to their disability?
because even i a fictive of a character with a disability do NOT use those emojis. im fine outing myself personally so, hi im a fictive of clint barton from marvel. he is deaf and wears hearing aids, as a system i am also deaf and wear hearing aids (likely why i formed as an alter) but im still uncomfortable using this emoji (🦻) as any form of a sign off or indicator of myself. ??? like what?
i am more than my deafness and reducing my source to his deafness feels wrong. i love acknowledging his deafness but that is extremely different. does that make sense idfk
anyway fuck people that use mobility aids as accessories. emojis or not you're weird
as much as i genuinely think pro endo cdd systems are shooting themselves in the foot by aligning themselves with the shitty remains of a cdd hate grouo, they belong in cdd spaces. they DONT belong in anti-endo spaces. but they belong in cdd spaces. They may be idiots, but they belong in cdd spaces.
Reminder that you are not a monster because of your unhealthy coping mechanisms or disorders. There is no morality attached to being sick. You are not a bad person for struggling. While I of course hope you can find healthier forms of coping and can recover as much as is possible for you. You aren't a failure or bad for not being there yet.
