🦇🪻Leaf🪻🦇

fae/they||adult||cdd system||sideblog

[anti-willo-fluttergoth]

(Art is by me, redraw of a mlp screenshot)

Friendship is magic! Ableism is not

Hello there, nice to meet you I'm Leaf (or anti-willo-fluttergoth)

~They/them or fae/faer pronouns

~goth

~nonhuman

~autistic cdd system (anti endo)

~This is a side blog (username inspired by @/anti-willo-miku and others) we want to interact more with systems on here and also keep syscourse posts off of our main

(Main is @moonjay-the-forest-spirit we post mainly about our experiences on there, system, neurodivergence and alterhuman stuff and whatever else)

~against harassment, fakeclaiming, systemcringe and whatnot people we disagree with are still people and if those things would harm us they will harm them too.

#🦇🪻sharing kindness🪻🦇 : all our system positivity and support will be under this tag.

#fluttergoth fillies: this is where we assign people horse photos from our pinterest. If you would like to be assigned a horse just ask!

#fluttergoth being goth for a sec: goth stuff as you can probably tell

Please feel free to use our ask box. We don't bite (unprovoked at least) obviously not a professional but feel free to ask questions or for advice. Or even ask to get a randomly assigned horse photo from pinterest. I love doing that.

[hpdamechan]

Reminder that your alter’s roles are not required to be public information! With trauma disorders, it is completely valid to NOT want to share the details. If you feel safe sharing, sure! But never let yourself feel pressured into sharing things that could be sensitive information. Stay safe, everyone! <3

[dic--e]

more new sys apps like SP with friend features coming out so i'll say it again DO NOT POST YOUR USERNAME PUBLICLY AND ACCEPT REQUESTS FROM PEOPLE YOU DO NOT KNOW / DO NOT TRUST

This is how you get your entire SP posted onto r/SystemCringe and get mocked and put on blast. while yes it's unfortunate and they shouldn't be doing that in the first place, this is really the only way to avoid these types of things happening since the Subreddit is still a thing.

Do not post your user in Discord servers and accept friend requests from people you barely know (Because, again, r/SC users are known for going into System servers and lurking)

[fontainians]

You might’ve heard me say the words endo centric a few times, so I wanted to provide what I actually mean.

Endo centric is a term I made to describe behaviors, communities, actions or individual people in the greater all origins plural community. Something or someone being endo centric means that despite to be “all origins safe” or inclusive of CDDs, it is clearly designed with non-cdd plurality in mind.

Some examples being:

A pro endo posts an advice post for “all plurals”, however the advice would be directly harmful to most people with CDDs.

Refusing to refer to pwCDDs, especially anti endo pwCDDs, by the proper medical terminology and instead using origin terms. (While mild, this can be annoying considering how many anti endos very much want to seperated themselves from the all origins plural community)

[the-io-collective]

actually i thought about this. this isn't a callout, this is a call-in. white systems, i am literally begging you to hold each other accountable. stop making it safe for other white systems to engage in racist bullshit.

stop letting alters that don't belong to an ethnic group claim it.

stop letting fetishization of "exotic" culture slide.

stop letting people google names in other languages and not show those languages the respect they deserve. like ffs, at least learn how to pronounce what your part is calling themself. at least learn the context the word is used in.

stop being nonconfrontational about racism. yeah, you'll ruffle some feathers. maybe those feathers need to be ruffled.

stop. letting. this. shit. slide.

[fontainians]

Some things I think should be talked about more in CDD spaces because I’m tired of pro and anti endos saying “cdd spaces are too alter centric” and then doing absolutely nothing about it:

- Co morbid conditions, including vulnerability to addiction (be normal abt addicts or die by my blade)

- Anhedonia , apathy , or just the general difficulty processing emotion that comes with chronic dissociation

- How damn isolating the condition can be

- How systemhood can intersect and affect/be affected by other identities (the unique experiences of poc systems, physically disabled systems, neurodivergent systems, queer systems, etc)

- Suicidal ideation

- Time loss

- Identity disturbance and issues with identity beyond the existence of alters

- Phobias developed by trauma

- Amnesia and the ways it can manifest

- CDD representation in media, either coded or explicit, and ways you relate to them

- P-DID and OSDD systems and their specific experiences

- How to advocate for yourself as a pwcdd in medical / professional spaces

Although, I can understand why a lot of this stuff isn’t talked about to an extent. It can be deeply personal and dangerous, especially if you participate in syscourse where pro/anti endos or endos themselves may use that information to hurt you for your opinions.

( CDD systems of any stance may interact as long as your intent is not to convince me of non cdd plurality. Non CDD systems please leave, your opinion is not wanted here. Nobody cares what you have to say on this topic. )

[fontainians]

And when we do talk about alters, lets also make sure to bring up:

- Abuser introjects

- Fusion and integration (without cenorship of it or acting like it’s triggering)

- Alters with very different beliefs from the rest of the system (I refer to them as Ego-Dystonic Parts)

- Alters reenacting abuse internally

- Communication tips, both internal and external

- Self advocacy between parts

All of these, including the things I listed above are normal symptoms of the disorder. Do not be ashamed for experiencing these.

( DNI applies as above. A non-cdd plurals opinion on alters is not relevant to me. You don’t share our experiences, you do not deserve a say in CDD spaces. )

[the-frontporch-dog]

Can we normalize talking about poc experiences with both being queer and being a system? , especially being black. Everytime I see a conversation that includes the experience of someone who is a poc it's often skipped over, played down, or they get completely bashed.

The queer community is a very good example of this, I get told all the time that "Oh, but you pass! I don't see the issue?" I am black first. I will always be seen as black first. (this might tickle some of your guys bones so hold on tight to your pants.) being black and queer is VERY different from being white and queer. being black and trans is VERY different from being white and trans.

Another great example is with our system, while we are a poc we mainly have white alters in our system, we often get fake claimed or our experiences immediately shut down because "well, if you're black it's impossible to have white alters" , which honestly if you've ever said anything CLOSE to this to another person you can go ahead and block me, you are not someone I want to interact with.

I won't be surprised if I get some comments that are like “Well... I'm. white and my experience–” , thats because you're white. White experiences will ALWAYS be different than black or poc ones.

The queer/system community isn't the only community faulty to this, there are so many other communities that brush off or ignore or put down poc experiences and it's getting really sad to see.

[anti-willo-twotime]

Oh, hey btw idc what your stance is. If you send sensitive ppl images of gore/strobing lights ur a piece of shit

[anti-willo-fluttergoth]

Happy disability pride month to all my fellow CDD systems. Your disorder is just as much of a valid disability as anyone else's. We deserve to be celebrated too

Sorry for not posting much lately, been busy since we're participating in artfight this month. Our ask box is open though so come and say hi

[anti-willo-dagur]

Gentle reminder!

It's okay to split.

You have a complex dissociative disorder that gets triggered with stress / new trauma.

Should you work through what is likely your main maladaptive coping mechanism no matter your end goal? Yes, absolutely so.

But it is okay. It's a very difficult task to do with professional help, let alone on your own. Give yourself some grace.

It's not the end of the world if you split. Just take a deep breath and keep going.

Having in mind we're going through it still I thought this reminder might be nice, even if it's mostly for us.

[fontainians]

I love you systems whose trauma is considered “not enough” to form a CDD. Everyone’s stress threshold is different and whats traumatic to some isn’t to traumatic to others. You belong in this community, and it’s awful that anyone thinks they have to right to make you feel like you have to justify your trauma response.

I love you systems whose trauma is considered “too much” to be believed. Your experiences are real and deserved to be heard, and if you don’t want to tell you’re not obligated to.

[anti-willo-deku]

It gets easier btw, I know living with a cdd is hard at times but trust me it gets easier

If noones told you this recently, You are so strong for living everyday even if you don't believe it!

Keep surviving, life does get better <3

[theemotionalside]

HAPPY DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!! reminder that you are valid no matter what disabilities you live with!!!!!!!! you all are awesome keep moving through life 💜💜 also reminder that invisible disabilities are still disabilities! stop erasing people with invisible disabilities from the community

[diddigitaldiary]

So many people will claim to be a system without trauma and then talk about how they were bullied as a small child and their parents were emotionally absent and they were forced into a religion they didn't belive and their parents got divorced and they moved around a lot and they didn't have any friends and they were socially isolated and outcast because of being autistic and—

Its like yall ALL of that can be traumatizing to a young child 😭 you don't need some big evil Abuser Who Abuses that you can point to and say "yes this one event traumatized me" like you don't need one single big bad event that cracked your mind like an egg, all those things add up, all those things upset the nervous system of a small child, all of those things can and do cause cdds.

I spent years and years and years denying my symptoms as being related to a cdd because I believed my trauma "wasn't bad enough" to cause such a "severe disorder." It was only when other systems talked about all the different things besides sexual abuse that cause dissociation did I feel comfortable enough to fight through the shame and go to therapy and get a diagnosis. Since coming to terms with the fact that all the things I mentioned above are traumatic did I start to really critically think about the things I went through as a child and be able to say "hey that wasn't ok and actually fucked me up." It wasn't the end all of what I went through yay repressed memories 🙃 but it got me to go to therapy which was really fucking important. I wish more people that say they are endogenic actually went to therapy to figure out if their symptoms are cdd related or something else because whether you're a system or experiencing delusions or something else you should seek help for it if you can.

[heartbloom-manor]

“DID needs childhood trauma to have formed”

Yes, but also

“What is traumatic to a child may not seem traumatic to an adult”

A kids brain has no logbook comparing their stress to someone else’s. All it knows is that it’s under severe stress.

[fontainians]

What makes me really sad is when people say “I’m endogenic because my system formed from [insert thing] instead of trauma” and the thing in question is just… truama that isn’t commonly represented in the community. I hate the myth that you have the absolute worst most horrific things ever happen to develop a cdd. So many things can be traumatic, especially to a child.

Neglect can be traumatic, loneliness and isolation can be traumatic, bullying can be traumatic.

Combine that with other factors and a low stress tolerance and yeah, a system can form.

[akankun]

The amount of people who are unaware that blackouts are not that common - even for full DID systems - especially out of a specific situation; and as a result minimalize their own very much problematic amnesia, or apologize before they complain about their own amnesia, is geniunely saddening. Regardless of how many people black out or not, if it's disrupting your daily life on a regular basis YES you have amnesia.