we may ramble and post a lot of things with topics such as: SH and suicidal ideation, SA, ab*se, attachment issues, and more.
our special interests are japanese language and culture and OMORI. we are somewhere around N3 in Japanese, but haven’t taken the JLPT.
other fandoms: YTTD, Danganronpa, BNHA, Omori AUs (specifically pursuit but also endless), Mairuma + more
other interests: Jfashion, reading, cosplay, travel, photography, singing, animanga + more
frequent posters:
Shin - 🧣
Kuri - ⛩️
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Important things:
- most of our system is pretty source attached, so no reality checking, please.
- references to bodily age is triggering, and we do not want to be referred to as an adult collectively.
- we’d love to talk to sourcemates, or just talk about shared sources; feel free to interact, or to ask to speak to anyone in the system if you know them.
- if you want to know who’s fronting, or get to know us, feel free to ask for our simplyplural!
why i think amo is a nonpossessive did system and has odd (as someone who lives with an odd child, and is a did system)
first, what is a nonpossessive did system? a nonpossessive system is your alters being less known to others. Its not described as “being taken over”, and more so like you becoming the alter. Feeling a sudden shift in self-awareness or self-identity. Like an out of body experience instead of being in control of your speech, emotions, or behaviors. they have more “greyout” periods, rather than blackout amnesia.
what is odd? odd is oppositional defiant disorder, described as a pattern of angry/irritable mood, argumentative/defiant behavior, or vindictiveness lasting at least 6 months as evidenced. people with odd often lose their temper, especially with adults. they usually actively defy or refuse to comply with adults requests or rules. they deliberately annoy people, and often blame others for their misbehavior. they are touchy or easily annoyed by others, often angry and resentful.
why do i suspect amo has either of these? well, lets take a look at her behavior. amo often lashes out on people who are authority over her, for example: when she met the cleaners. she was happy, cheerful even. she thought they were coming to talk to her, to make friends with her. amo clearly has been isolated her entire life, kinda like rapunzel in a way.. just worse.
but when she found out that they just needed her to get back to the sphere, thats when her attitude shifted. this is when i think a protector or persecutor fronted, or rather, she became that identity. it took over her, and in that moment she was “crazy amo”. she freaked out, yelling and crying at the team, which resulted in people being hurt.
circling back to the part where i mentioned that people with odd tend to blame others for their misbehavior, in that scene, amo blames everyone for her lash out. she says, “if everyone wouldve just listened to amo, this would not have happened!” or something along those lines. amo did not have to have that outburst, yet she did because she felt like she had no control over the situation. therefore, tried to gain it in a way that benefited her.
you can see her personality shift a lot, and its not just “mood”, or anything. no, you can tell it is full on personality and identity changes. returning to the point of “people with np did have greyouts, rather than blackout amnesia” i think this may be a key factor as to why amo tends to remember most of the stuff she, or her alter, did. she usually apologizes by saying “amo didnt mean to” or “amo didnt want to”. signifying that she was not in control of her body at the time, but she knew what was happening. and could not stop it.
i dont think amo wants to hurt people, like when she pushed “mister” from the tower, you can see the regret pool in her expression. you can see the reflection on her mistakes after the consequences have been delt. i tend to see this in my brother, as he is diagnosed with odd and has been for a few years now. people with odd will have tantrums and lash outs on people when they feel threatened or as if they dont have control over their life and decisions.
i think amo does have a little. there is moments where we see her look extremely guilty and innocent. like when rudo was punching her, she looked genuinely confused as to what was going on and what happened. because the littleamo did not know what they had done.
i do think she also has a persecutor. there is times, like the freakout, where we see her attitude change. shes protecting herself the only way she knows how to. whether it hurts people or not. then, blames it on others. as though not to feel guilt.
you can see she views mister as a love interest rather than authority. so, when he snaps at her as an authority figure does, she gets upset and confused. her brain doesnt understand why hes being mean. she also tends to fawn a lot, i think due to her lack of love and his lovebombing.
remember, this is just a headcanon and i am still researching it. my brother is diagnosed with odd and has been for years now, he does act a lot like amo. just more controlled considering the fact that he was raised normally.
why’s the aftermath of being SA’d this time somehow worse than last semester was entirely mentally (atleast it feels worse to me but? i can’t really witness our trauma responses from an outside perspective so beats me)
seeing people's reaction to gachiakuta's latest episode (13) and saying things like "rudo/amo was right/wrong" "I cheered when rudo punched her" NO no.
don't you understand? can't you see it? this arc isn't about who's right or wrong or which actions are justifiable or not NO this arc is exploring how children who grew up in a bad childhood filled with loneliness and self-loathing end up dealing with different situations. you should NOT think that Rudo's action, which he acknowledged HIMSELF is wrong, was right/completely justifiable. you should NOT think that just because Amo had a terrible, terrible childhood excuses her actions of forcing people to attack their allies by forcefully putting them under the delusions of protecting their loved ones. because if you do, you're going to miss out on so many great and wonderful character development that is to come and, frankly, being so stuck on "oh but who's right, who's wrong" is simply just... not smart, don't you think?
additionally, Enjin also acknowledged his wrongdoing. He said, "let's go apologize to her together," to Rudo because he knows that he unnecessarily escalated the situation, that he viewed her as an object to be used when all she wanted was for people to cherish her and love her, not use her like that mister did to her. (although all of them didn't know the second part at that time and thought she was just insane. don't worry, when I first read the manga, I thought the same)
Enjin isn't like gojo satoru like some people pointed him out to be (although I can't really speak on this since I don't know much about gojo, seeing as jjk doesn't really interest me), he's much more human. he recognizes his flaws, the people around him recognizes his flaws and even points it out. he admitted that he doesn't know how to deal with troubled children and women and he knows he needs to be better, get over it, and learn. that's why he took the fault of creating the situation in the first place because, even if Amo was a completely different kind of girl, it's still bad for him to say those things.
also yap session over ermmm what was that guys!! who said that.. must've been the trash beasts whispering in your ears...
tw in-depth talks of post SA dingdong ED yadda yadda
we are in so much pain…it’s been nothing but nausea and pelvic pain for days and we have no appetite and eat but what’s even the point of that?
i regret eating a bit because now if I want to do bulimia I’ll get flashbacks. fingers down my throat. everything gives me flashbacks! just great!
i don’t think I can get tested sooner or later, it’s already been 72 hours but what’s the point? I’m not pregnant, but, what’s the point? i am so glad im not pregnant. i hope it wasn’t a false negative I hope to god
i have nooo motivation to do my homework hopefully Sunday maybe we will
