Me: *minding my own business, checking work emails* The People's Pension: "AS YOU NEAR RETIREMENT AGE!!!"
I'm only just fucking forty!!! I got ID checked for a christmas gift just three weeks ago

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@chaoticpoetic
Me: *minding my own business, checking work emails* The People's Pension: "AS YOU NEAR RETIREMENT AGE!!!"
I'm only just fucking forty!!! I got ID checked for a christmas gift just three weeks ago
So, you're telling me it took less than a day to teach my dog my daughter's new name, but when she publicly comes out and changes to her new name on Facebook, family members have her name right in front of them when they're wishing her happy birthday...
And still deadname her. (Or just opt to not use her name at all)
The only reason heads aren't rolling right now is because she "doesn't want the drama".
favorite platonic relationships: jake peralta and ray holt “Over the years, you’ve referred to me. as something of a father figure. Did I? I didn’t realize that. Well, I want you to know if I had a son, and he turned out like you, I’d be very proud of him.”
A month ago I thought I'd be watching it with my son. Last night, I watched it with my daughter.
God, that film struck every feminist chord in me. Every. Single. One
The dog was asleep next to the bed, until he farted, made himself jump and banged himself on the bed frame.
He then stood there staring at me as if I'd woken him up by hitting him or something. Christ, my heart broke a little
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Prologue
“ This is not the story of how Death succeeded, time and time again. This is the story of how Death finally met its match.”
A while back, my son asked me to write an iZombie x Final Destination crossover.
About to publish the prologue.
I love the fact that my son’s latest thing is giving me fanfic prompts. Apparently, his wishlist includes “Galinda encouraging Elphaba to be less goth,” and “Galinda and Elphaba getting married.”
Uhm. Kid? These sound like fluff prompts. I don’t do fluff.
“For your work to be invoiceable, you need to have slain 52 dragons, defeated Achilles, and submitted your invoice whilst drinking a glass of water and standing on your head. Good luck!”
- The struggle of trying to get paid as a therapist
There’s a cute guy from the music store across Scoops that Steve just can’t muster the courage to talk to. Robin’s sick of watching him make moon eyes at Eddie from across the mall
Crushes are stupid, and I hate the fact my face lights up whenever he fricking messages me. Like ew. I'm a grown woman who doesn't have time for this shit
MindEd: “Here’s what one young person wrote about...”
MindEd: *uses extremely formal, polished, clinical language*
MindEd: “YOuNG PeRSoN!”
Me: Sure, Jan.
i can’t believe i used to think people my age were adults
the older you are reading this post the funnier it is
men aren't starting bands like they used to. kids need angsty music about hating their hometown not podcasts about how you're bitchless.
One of my former counselling coursemates: *implied I'd need to be serious to become a counsellor*
Every counsellor on social media: "Here's a meme, and let's take the piss out of this situation, and here's a sweary colouring book I made for that three seconds between sessions. Have a raisin for mindfulness!"
My son’s great. He swears in foreign languages so I can’t tell him to watch his language.
This blog turned 9 years old today!