rewrite the stars || benjy & charity
xbenjyfenwick:
âYes I can, and I am⌠I am promising you thatâ Benjy tightened his hold of her, âyou donât get it do you? Itâs not that Iâm leaving the war behindâ although for a split second he wondered about how if she asked, if Charity said the words, he would leave. It wasnât clear before, but it was now, he would be willing to leave everything behind for her, if she asked he would walk away. But he knew her, and Charity was as invested in this war as he was. And now he wondered if he were to ask her to leave, would she? But wasnât going to do that, not even if all he could think about was their future, a future were they were together, growing old, a future only achievable if they won the war. âI- I donât think either of us could walk away, not now, not after everythingâŚâ he closed his eye briefly before continuing, âbut you still canât see it? That I am alive because of you?â he asked looking into her eyes.Â
Benjy was about to bring back memories he wished nothing but to keep buried, the things he had put Charity through, âthat time a few months backâ she would know what he was talking about, âwhen I was laying on the sidewalk⌠I-â he had never told anyone this before, âI was ready to go⌠I was ready to dieâ it wasnât that he had wanted to die, but he had been at peace, âI-â Benjy felt a tremor go through him, âI simply let go⌠and then I was next to you. Because my last thought were you, because I was ready to go home.â That was the moment everything had changed, from then on it would be his mission to make it back to her, to survive for her. âAnd today⌠I- I was scared, and I was way over my head, but I- I couldnât stop thinking about you, about how I was just supposed to be at work to drop something off, and about how we were going to watch Doctor Who when I came back, about how I wasnât going to die without seeing you face again.â Benjy brought a hand up to touch her face, âso I am not promising not to fight, but I am promising that I will always survive for you, to see you againâŚâÂ
The kiss took him by surprise to say the least. He had no been expecting a kiss, there was so much between them, love more than anything. But he had never realized there was something more. At times maybe he wondered, specially when people assumed they were together, he had always laughed, played it off as them being just friends, but maybe a part of him always wanted it to be true. He never even dared to entertain the idea, the last thing he wanted was to lose Charity, but now, now that it was her closing the distance between them, now he could allow himself to open that door. The kiss was over before he could react, and if they had been standing up Benjy was sure he wouldâve fallen down -not just because of the exhaustion- but because he immediately missed her lips on his. Her words brought a smile to his face, it was such a Charity thing, he laughed before pulling her close, âI love youâ he said grabbing her face with both hands and kissing her. So it was true that you can love a person in more than one way, he was now realizing that he loved Charity in every possible way.
Everything was so complicated these days and while only a couple of years back her mind had craved complicated, had wished for a challenge, this was clearly not what she meant. Now she found herself thinking back to the simpler days with nostalgia, wishing nothing more than to be carefree again, to run through the woods with Benjy by her sind and not think about anything but being back home in time for dinner. âYouâre right... I mean I know I couldnât leave. It wouldnât be fair.â She replied with a soft smile, trying to push away the thought that Benjy dying in this war would be about as unfair as it could possibly get. His earnest words made her blush a little, avoiding his gaze. No, she didnât really know that, she knew the feeling though. âI mean, I... I know weâre important to each other.â She replied, unsure as she looked back at him. Important was far from it, was so little in comparison to what he was to her.
Listening to him talk about that day, that day she had so carefully tried to forget about, was both painful but also reassuring. It was good to know he wanted to fight, it was good to know he wanted to live even more. A little laugh escaped her at his Doctor Who mention, though it sounded broken. If he would have actually died they would have lost so much and she couldnât even think about all that without it all feeling like too much. âYou would have totally ruined Doctor Who for me.â She replied, her voice strained, broken but soft as she looked at him. Everything he said sounded so true, so incredibly heartfelt, she couldnât be mad anymore. Now she knew he was going to be smart about the fights he should pick.
Bravery had never been a strength Charity Burbage posessed, it had also never been one she had to have. After all she had all those friends who were brave and wild and easy going and while Charity had sometimes felt like maybe she didnât belong she had also always known they needed her. They needed her way to think everything through, needed her compassion and she didnât mind being the voice of reason. However now she needed to be brave, braver than she had ever been before because this, this she couldnât lose. There was so much to gain, yet maybe even more to lose. Wasnât it weird that after such a moment of weakness she suddenly felt like she was strong and brave enought to take that risk?`
There was little that could calm the thoughts flying around in her head: Baking, reading and, as she now found out, Benjyâs lips on hers, his hands holding her close, the smile she could feel on his lips. For a moment the whirlwind of thoughts was completely silent and even when they started to come back it wasnt remotely as intense. A relieved laugh escaped her lips as she pulled away to come up for air. Her hands caressing Benjyâs face she couldnât help but to beam at him. âSo... youâre into this, huh? I really canât imagine the last time I didnât know how youâd react to something, usually I know you much better than I know myself.â She bit her lip to keep in the embarassing smile that wouldnât disappear. âI... I canât believe Iâm so happy now.. you know, after everything that happened.â














