[Image Description: A screenshot of a chat between two people. The phone number at the top and name in the chat have been crossed out by neon blue lines.
Left: I’m moving and found a black machete under my bed. Is this yours?
Right: Bro I ain’t even talked to you in 6 years and this is how you get in touch [Skull emoji]
Left: well you’re the only person I can think of that might leave a machete at my house
Right: Wait is it a Ka-bar?
Left: hold on I’ll look
Second message: yes
Right: Okay yeah that’s mine
Second message: How have you not looked under your bed in six years??
Left: I feel like that’s really not the most important question here