Wonder Woman's Sugar Daddy

The name is Dustin. I've probably pissed you off in the past with my 'radial views' or whatever. But you know, honestly, I couldn't give two fucks.

[chasedustin-thewind]

text >> Dustin

Kira: oh

Dustin: ill be at my house if you need me

[chasedustin-thewind]

text >> Dustin

Kira: was that an ok for sex or an ok for driving?

Dustin: ok for dave getting you

[chasedustin-thewind]

text >> Dustin

Kira: all i got from that was you have a suit and you like sex? and that you like sex so much you are a terrible store manager but we have really good sex? and something else about sex maybe?

Kira: want to come over and have sex with me when i get home?

Kira: yes dave, blonde hair, tall, plays soccer? he offered, i was just going to drive home later when i was more sober.

Dustin: sex sex and more sex

Dustin: ive got work in the morning, baby

Dustin: ok

[kira-edgar]

Did you know there's a metal that melts in your hand?

[kira-edgar]

What are you trying to say, Dustin Chase? That I’m a conceited know-it-all? Well, I am, and you love every second of it.

[chasedustin-thewind]

I was going to use the friendly term of confident, but since you've called yourself conceited, I'll finally be able to as well.

[chasedustin-thewind]

text >> Dustin

Kira: omg stop, i can't stop laughing. wait now i kind of want you to dress up like a butler so i can see you in a suit and then fuck your brains out

Kira: also i would be a very good porn star, if that point didn't just prove it, then let's think about how many different ways and places we've had sex at vinyls

Kira: i can't help that i'm popular. i'm even more popular than gretchen weiners

Kira: nope, dave is coming to pick me up he just texted me

Dustin: i have a suit but ive only worn it once and it's not comfy but if sex is the result, yes sure, i can go through with that.

Dustin: i think i sold a guy a vinyl that i had to wipe cum off of last week and i felt really awkward even though he will never know.

Dustin: wow im a great choice for manager. having sex on merchandise and cumming on it. i'm amazing.

Dustin: dave.

[themostamazingsongsofalltim-blog]

Personally, I think your uncle’s cat shall rule the human race.

[chasedustin-thewind]

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Welcome to the church of Mr. Miggles. 

[kira-edgar]

Did you know there's a metal that melts in your hand?

[kira-edgar]

I’d apologize, but I’m actually not sorry at all.

[chasedustin-thewind]

You never are, sweetheart. 

[chasedustin-thewind]

text >> Dustin

Kira: i just pictured you in a lingerie duster and then immediately like the feather duster from beauty and the beast

Kira: and now i'm giggling and i can't stop

Kira: wait falsely?

Kira: you could just go around exclaiming that you're married to kira edgar the rockstar

Kira: oh yes totally absoultely 500% drunk oops

Dustin: im going to dress up as a dustbunny for halloween

Dustin: well, no offense babe, but you being a porn star isn't something that i could handle

Dustin: rock star on the other hand ;) im dealing with that already.

Dustin: do i need to come get you? assuming you're not at home?

[themostamazingsongsofalltim-blog]

Exactly. Why does everyone have to believe in the same thing anyway?

[chasedustin-thewind]

Just as no one can tell me now that I'm not allowed to just not believe in anything.

In fact, if I wanted to believe in my uncle's cat being sent from the heaven to rule the human race, I should be able to.

[themostamazingsongsofalltim-blog]

Not really. I mean, I don’t really know. I don’t think it really matters though, you know? Like if you’re Jewish or Atheist, what difference does it make as long as you are a good person?

[chasedustin-thewind]

That's exactly what I think. If you're religious, I don't care. Just don't push it off on me, thanks. 

[themostamazingsongsofalltim-blog]

Oh, I don’t mean to talk bad about anyone’s religion or anything.

[chasedustin-thewind]

Are you religious?

[themostamazingsongsofalltim-blog]

Our lord and savior. Always my favorite topic.

[chasedustin-thewind]

No, Lux, don't say that. 

[kira-edgar]

Did you know there's a metal that melts in your hand?

Just like M&Ms…oh wait.

[chasedustin-thewind]

I'm not sure if I enjoyed how much I had to think to get that joke.

[shane-orwell]

Oh, no! Someone call an exorcist! I would have loved to see their faces

[chasedustin-thewind]

It was pretty hilarious. I need to start videotaping my interactions with people that come knocking. 

[themostamazingsongsofalltim-blog]

Oh my god, that is so badass. Jehovah’s Witnesses are so annoying. Stop trying to convert everyone.

[chasedustin-thewind]

For real. I don't think I'll ever have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, to be honest. 

[shane-orwell]

Please tell me you told them to fuck off or else I’d have to punch you. 

[chasedustin-thewind]

I said something along the lines of 'I'm actually the devil wearing a halloween meat suit'. 

[chasedustin-thewind]

I told the Jehovah's Witnesses that came by that their costumes were amazingly accurate.

And I guess they didn't like it because they sent over their 'elders' to talk to me.