I am happy for all of the good that has happened in my brother’s life.
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@chaserofdreams
I am happy for all of the good that has happened in my brother’s life.
sososo grateful for my life esp my family howd I get so lucky ill never know
So many people never learned to live with harmless discomfort at any point in their lives and holy fuck does it show
1/3/25 - I found out I was going to be a Foi (aunt to my brothers future son). Where does the time go 🥹
For the past year and half our friendship has felt very one sided. You have even admitted in the past that your efforts fall short compared to mine. I don’t mind putting in more, but the lack of reciprocation from you is super hurtful. For so long I kept trying to be understanding of your lack of communication or presence because I cared so deeply to keep the friendship. The lack of consideration in your actions makes it hard to believe you care. It was so important to me to show up on your birthday even though we weren’t talking much prior cause I knew you were going through something difficult. I even spent close to $200 between the Halaleez and going out. It isn’t about the money I wanted to make it special. It just hurts because you couldn’t even text me on mine nor do you make an effort to keep in touch. All I would have wanted is that bare minimum thoughtfulness. Yes work and life gets in the way but it isn’t impossible to communicate. I kept giving you benefit of the doubt when it came to your inconsistency but realize at this point it is too unfair to myself to not address it. It is completely ok if you don’t care for our friendship anymore but please don’t continue this from an insincere place.
Four years ago I started the job that gave me the freedom to live on my own, earn a CFA, and work with some admirable people. Life is vastly different today and I am forever grateful.
Really, we shouldn't be afraid of beginnings. Post that photo, start that blog, change that hairstyle, take up that course, write those thoughts, paint those pictures. The leap of faith will feel huge, I know, but what if it takes you places? Fulfill your dreams? Oh, what if you fly? If we don't begin now, will there be a future? No, it won't be smooth, you will fall. Repeatedly. But when you reach the end of this tunnel, I promise, it will be worth it.
I really needed to hear this.
the one problem i have with people my age and younger is that a lot of us do not have hands on hobbies. like i have spoken to so many people my age who go to work, go to school and then fuck around on their phone/computer for hours and then ???????? like no wonder ur depressed and have low confidence in urself. u need to get ur hands on something, feed those dopamine receptors! learn how to play guitar, garden, scrapbook, fucking make model trains. i don’t give a shit, MAKE SOMETHING!!
it feels better than drugs when i finish making a thing—and then show it off or gift it.
and then so people my age say to me ‘well—i can’t draw/paint/knit/etc. like you can. my stuff would be terrible.’ yeah, well duh—a part of developing skill is sucking at something and then practicing it over and over and over again until you suck less. u’ll have a hard time feeling lonely or bored when you can’t stop thinking abt a technique you want to try or something you want to make for someone else. making things has SAVED MY LIFE. it gave me a reason to keep living day after day when i wanted to die.
making things improved my generational relationships (when i worked for the newspaper i would talk to customers abt jamming recipes or cross-stitch, one of my grandmas always gives me pattern books and tell me abt when she knitted things for mom, my other grandma is giving me a wedding quilt that HER grandma gave her 50 years ago because she knows i will appreciate it). it also got me likeminded friends who also make things.
take a ceramics class! pick up water colors, bake cakes! learn to work on cars! make soap. DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE STARING AT A SCREEN.
Four rules for a disciplined life
No zero days. ‘What’s a zero day? A zero day is when you don’t do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I’m not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didn’t do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero.’
Be grateful to the three yous. ‘There’s the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you’s are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you’ve done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro.’
Forgive yourself. ‘Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn’t do it. Now you’re giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being disappointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? So what. I forgive you, previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one’s for you, future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.’
Exercise and books. ‘Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. When you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). When you exercise you clear your mind. When you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we’ve all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books.’
"I never allowed myself the illusion that my absence would leave someone broken or lost. I have always known that life moves on, that people find new people, and that no one is truly irreplaceable. We like to believe that our presence makes a difference, that our absence might leave a void, but the truth is, the world does not stop for anyone. People learn to fill the spaces left behind, sometimes with someone better, and sometimes, with the best they have ever known.
It’s a bittersweet realization—that no matter how deeply we love, how much we give, or how significant we think we are in someone’s life, they will move forward. And perhaps that’s the way it should be. After all, change is inevitable, and so is the way people come and go, leaving behind only memories that fade with time.”
I don’t intensely dread going to spend a few nights at my parents place for thanksgiving??? Progress???? Not exactly looking forward to it either but feels good to not hate it
no one belongs on a pedestal
hope my brother is happy