Aggressive Petting. @chasing-phi - Tumblr Blog

scorpionlafemme

anasabdin

Conditions Apply [ 10 colors ]

hehehe-1212-deactivated20230901

Don’t spend another year doing the same shit.

stuckinapril

And what pisses me off the most is so many of you have used “protecting your peace” as an excuse to foster 0 conflict resolution skills, cut people off with no explanation, mistreat your friends, be anything but empathetic about human errors your friends are prone to making just as you’re prone to making, never sit in discomfort of having an opposing opinion with someone else, and to also just be blatantly rude and mean spirited. Like a lot of you are obsessed w humbling people and it’s sad. You mistake your flippancy for strength, when it’s anything but. Maybe it’s insecurity too, but above all else it’s flippancy and the inability to put yourself in other people’s shoes. It’s weakness disguised as confidence. And it is genuinely harmful, both to yourself and to others !

stuckinapril

HEAVY on the being obsessed w humbling people. People like this are so fucking weird.

baeltedyret

#this #an unreasonable amount of people confuse hiding with healing

heyftinally

Genuinely, I think it's often a fear of conflict. And I think that's due to a few factors:

None of us were taught how to have healthy conflict. Either your parents screamed at each other/you, or nobody talked about problems. Maybe you got the fun flavor of "I'm going to guilt you until you feel like shit because your misery is your penance". Regardless, nobody wants to be involved in those situations again, so they avoid conflict entirely since they don't know any other kind of conflict.

We as a culture have an inability of being wrong. Pride and ego have overtaken that, and that's only furthered by the mob mentality of "either you're right or you're evil". If you weren't right the first time, you can't change your mind without people acting like you're a spineless slime liar and manipulator and being wrong is a moral failing.

Lack of mental health support. Because of the above issues, too many people have had lifetimes worth of trying to be the bigger person, and getting kicked in the teeth for it. How many times can we REALLY expect someone to be honest and vulnerable about their feelings, only to have the recipient turn around and use that vulnerability against them before we admit that resorting to similar deflection and avoidance is simply a survival skill? We can't expect people to even attempt healthy conflict resolution if the environment they're in isn't safe for them to use those skills. And even once the environment IS safe, undoing patterns built by trauma is HARD.

There is no perfect solution. Because while I see tons of stuff online teaching healthy communication, touting "kill the part of you that cares about being 'cringe'", and more, at the end of the day this is a pervasive culture problem. Nobody knows how to handle difficult emotions, and even those who do risk being humiliated, or even physically assaulted, for trying to take the higher road.