My Beautiful Rescue,

[chasingmaverickss]

Loving with Momentum. Written Aug 10th, 2020

Been inspired by the book Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds. 

Im not even worried if it makes no sense, it just does to me. Why does writing this make me feel so much better?

[lavender-forests]

[generationintrovert]

Safe travels

[giaxomarie]

[chasingmaverickss]

Gray Eyes

Too focused on gettin, no givin', She's askin' why she don't feel like livin', Sleepin' most hours of the day, Keep thinkin' she don't wanna stay. There's this boy on her mind, She want him to find, A her beneath her, To believe in her, To retrive in her, Something she lost and forgot how to find. Get mad cause he can't find the time, To get her back on her grind. She was hopin' he could discover, Uncover, while she fallin' deep under, But now she can't recover. She can't decide who to blame, For blowin' out her flame, For losin' her fire, Instead, continues to have no desire, For the things she once loved to get lost in, Now she countin' loss after loss an', In a world of color, She closes her eyes, Presses her forehead to the earth, Let's the darkness seep in from under, Into the confines of her mind, And finds, Too many moments of black stillness, Convinces herself Its a mental illness. She come back, day after day Thinkin' she has no say, Wonderin' why her vision goin' gray. She don't wanna stay. She lookin' for a voice to tell her she's enough, Cause damn it's gettin' rough, To speak a world of color into existence, What she needs is persistence, Of an undying, Unconditional, everything love So a day after days she come back, Tryin' to keep her heart and mind in tact, Presses her forehead to the floor This time don't pretend to ignore The darkness that seeps into her head She takes it all in instead Accepts it Detects it And finally, silently

[chasingmaverickss]

My Poems Have Been Dark Lately

I never get to say what's on my mind Shallow conversations Numb all sensations Words blurred Under sedation Words blur like when sight Short term satisfaction They come in fractions Spurts of glowing pings Glue me to my phone And I never really get to say I think I'm being needy I think it's the others in my life I think I think I think But only sink All The Way Down

[chasingmaverickss]

Change of medium.

[chasingmaverickss]

As is.

Found this in my journal. I think it was raining. 18 Feb 2017 I have a confession You see I'm in love with the concepts of a session Vulnerability Cultivates ability Develops agility Confidence Is really just getting A sense Of creating a you that is meant To be amazing Day dreaming Is a form of training That's why I look out the window when it's raining To feel the sky draining It's paining But I understand I stand Amazed, dazed Letting my body react Like my movement was fact To the world around me.

[chasingmaverickss]

Cloud Pen

Inspired by Sarah Cowart March 11, 2017 I'm high as fuck Tryna make a buck At this job That has been my priority Hate authority. Hate my job. Sometimes. Negative vibes rob Me of my time And heart Why can't I just make art.

[chasingmaverickss]

Tigers in a Green Meadow

Feb 11, 2017 Inspired by: love I think you're indescribably amazing You got my mind enjoyably racing You're, killin the game Don't even needa tame your passion Runs wildly free Heart on a love spree spend on me You carry colors in your back pocket Paitiently painting in the magic when earth leaves something tragic You always choose brightest of oranges and yellows, but they're mellow and the deepest darkest pencils, million marks, they're stencils. Mistakes, they're simply mental. Fuck detrimental. See you're the humble kind, hard to find kind. You're. Something unknown, you're ungrown. You're learning. Something I've been yearning.

[chasingmaverickss]

anxiety x

I began to over think and like a rock thrown into the ocean I began to sink with my back toward the black hole ocean floor, how I could not ignore how much water was separating me and my last breath I even began to contemplate death. With the weight of the ocean beating down. I drowned every. Single. Night. You weren’t there. You left me bare against the fire pit rods glowing red as they dig into me melting my skin. I'm screaming in snow motion silence. .

Charred.

[chasingmaverickss]

"My story? Is a hella sad story”

what's your story? "My story? Is a hella sad story” trust me, I can relate. Inspired by C.C. Nov. 2016 And I wish I could commit to this undying hole of shit With a smile on my face Just give me my space I'm down here And you don't understand You'll never understand No one understands Don't try to understand Don't even help me find beauty Cause it's not your mother fucking duty Let me sit in my shit Deep dark pit And rot.

[chasingmaverickss]

“SHE-- ONE OF THREE”

Nov. 21, 2016

Inspired by: Luke's Thailand// Justin Olivar's Perception of Me (that one time in the car)

"I was in love once but I think it was just cause I was in paradise"

“Love is a fake word”

She existed in paradise.

She EXISTED in paradise.

...

I listen and allow

moments of unconditional, unapologetic

you

Space--

but she doesn’t see my fight for faith

you

Hooked,

you got me, feeling fucking feels

you

Might as call it poison

And if by blood it spreads

I’ll fight it with every ounce of me

Every molecule agony cai

…

I own you in the way you look at me.

I am going to have you.

Bartered with your beholder.

So let me catch you with arms too wide too many times.

I know you in only moments

unconditional.

But you already know that.

You stay dazed, amazed.

I already knew you would be.

But then,

I fall.

And you fucking catch me.

Once.

Twice.

I, reluctant by nature

You, oblivious

I, let you

You, love new

That hurts.

Let's just call it here.

But I let you run your fingers through my hair, let your hand serenade silent songs for my insides. blankets of you hug my everything but I close my eyes and

generalize your touch.

Let's call it here.

You're exploring my uncharted.

You talk to my beholder.

Marked toxic by its toxin. But you've grown confidence in my faith that I cannot see. So I don't believe you.

But I close my eyes,

deep breath,

and call it here.

But thanks anyways.

Love you.

I leave you in your sleep.

You were never even real.

And I was never in love.

[chasingmaverickss]

“I’m a product of environment”

Dysfunctional 

“Art is a reflection of our reality”

Straight outta compton

[chasingmaverickss]

To be an artist you must craft your mentality. Finding beauty in all things is apart of our life’s pursuit. The unseen demands a perception of magic in our very earthly, physical world. 

[chasingmaverickss]

it’s so much more

It’s so much more than you’ll ever think. Pursuing art isn’t just sitting, creating, releasing. It’s so much deeper. 

You develop yourself as a person in this world.

And now that I think of it, it must be this way for non artists as well. 

Nothing is ever as it seems. 

Ever. 

[chasingmaverickss]

my method of education

obsession.