PRODUCT SENTENCE STARTERS
some sentence starters collected from product's movies and shorts. feel free to change pronouns, names, etc!
❝ I love you. And you know I do. ❞
❝ Nobody ever asks about ME, how I'M feeling! ❞
❝ How do you put up with this shit, [name]? ❞
❝ You look at me when I'm fucking talking! ❞
❝ Is your bitch calling me insane? ❞
❝ There's nothing I hate more than a nosy-ass neighbor. ❞
❝ I just wanna know one thing. Where's your sharpest knife? ❞
❝ What did you just call me? ❞
❝ I mean, I have no reason to lie... ❞
❝ I still know how to throw a killer sleepover! ❞
❝ No one will be able to hurt you ever again, okay? ❞
❝ Stop calling me that. ❞
❝ I don't know what's gotten into you. ❞
❝ I don't even want to be a [mother/father/parent] anymore. ❞
❝ Raising you was just a waste of my time. ❞
❝ It's your fault. It's always your fault. ❞
❝ Now look what you've done! ❞
❝ You know what this calls for, and I don't like to do it. ❞
❝ You can spend your time downstairs with the roaches. ❞
❝ I was thinking, and I do apologize for being so harsh earlier. ❞
❝ I'm gonna fix it, I'm gonna fix it, I'm gonna fix it... ❞
❝ I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna take care of you. ❞
❝ I will always be here. It's okay. ❞
❝ Did you seriously just ask me about my divorce? ❞
❝ How many times have I told you? TV rots your brain! ❞
❝ Now, what in God's name are you doing here? ❞
❝ You made that decision when you walked out of this house. ❞
❝ I told you to stay out of my fucking house! ❞
❝ You were never a [father/mother/parent] to [her/him/them]! ❞
❝ Look at all of this mess. It's all because of you. ❞
❝ Don't you look at me like that! ❞
❝ Oh, you're not gonna eat your fucking peas!? ❞
❝ Oh, [name]. I'm so in love with you. ❞
❝ I thought you quit smoking? ❞
❝ I'm gonna smoke this one, and then guess what? I'm gonna chain smoke the rest of the fucking pack all fucking night! ❞
❝ I'm glad I'll never lose you. ❞
❝ Why the fuck are you just looking at the fire!? ❞
❝ Why did nobody help [her/him/them]? ❞
❝ One thing you must know about me is that I hate kids. ❞
❝ I'm as happy as a pig in shit. ❞
❝ Take a pack of cigarettes and leave me alone, would you? ❞
❝ Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating? ❞
❝ Oh, I see. Your [daughter/son/kid] is a fucking softie. ❞
❝ I've been smoking since the womb -- secondhand, obviously. ❞
❝ You really shouldn't be doing that. You look really weird doing that. ❞
❝ Here, take my money! Just give me some cigs before I kill somebody! ❞
❝ Rats happen to be my least favorite animal. ❞
❝ Your poetry really turns me on. ❞
❝ Do you really think we'll be safe? ❞
❝ I had a cigarette for lunch. Try to find my waist! ❞
❝ Oh, [name], you're such a tease! ❞
❝ It's not the blood that scares me, no...it's the fact that I can't remember. ❞
❝ My lungs need smoke just as much as yours need oxygen. ❞
❝ Just do what children do best: ruin [her/his/their] life. ❞
❝ Look, I wouldn't expect you to understand because it's been, like, a millennia since you've trick-or-treated, but I'm a professional. I know what I'm doing. ❞
❝ Oh, the eight year-old finally has a personality! How refreshing. ❞
❝ Why aren't you crying? ❞
❝ Why aren't you scared? ❞
❝ I watch LiveLeaks on my mom's computer when she goes to work. ❞
❝ Choose your next words carefully, [name]. I get violent. LiveLeak violent. ❞
❝ Are you hungry? Because I could really go for a grilled cheese and, like, a Coke Zero or something.❞
❝ My mom usually spends her grocery money at the casino. Do you need more information? ❞
❝ God, would you stop interrogating me? ❞
❝ You're either a smoker or a mom. You can't be both, so decide when you're young, and stick with it. ❞
❝ I mean, you're, like, what? 3 days old? ❞
❝ I had a cat, and then...I didn't have a cat anymore. Nothing morbid about a missing cat. ❞
❝ What time is it? What time is it!? ❞
❝ I'm actually worried...not for myself, but for that sweet child. ❞
❝ Can I swear? …That's so fucking gross. ❞
❝ You don't even remember, do you? ❞
❝ You're a monster for what you've done. ❞
❝ What are you doing? What are you doing!? ❞
❝ It's an emergency...we're out of creamer. ❞
❝ Do you wanna end up like me? ❞
❝ Oh, do I wanna end up like a cranky old bag? No thanks! ❞
❝ I hate kids -- never mind. That was the old me. ❞
❝ Let's be honest, [name]. You are a little past your prime. ❞
❝ Shut up! It's okay! I think I've got this! ❞
❝ Hey -- don't. Don't look at [her/him/them]. ❞
❝ I'm still growing up, and I am a full-ass grown adult who is still learning how to grow up! ❞
❝ You've gotta strike while the iron's hot. I mean, with you, it's lukewarm at best...but don't wait for it to get cold, is what I'm saying. ❞
❝ You, my friend, are lucky that I have a wardrobe full of adult men's clothing. ❞
❝ Let's get crack-a-lackin. ❞
❝ You look like a gay Nosferatu. ❞
❝ I want milk outside of the glass. I want you to pour it on the table so I can lick it up like a stray cat. ❞
❝ I'm severely lactose intolerant, but I'm going to do this for you...because I like you. ❞
❝ Might I know your favorite color, madam? ❞
❝ That's what love is all about! Changing yourself so the other person will like you! ❞
❝ You're not dead! You're just purple now! ❞
❝ I don't wanna be purple forever! ❞
❝ You're going to be ugly when you grow up. You're already ugly. ❞
❝ [He's/She's/They're] probably dead. ❞
❝ Your dad seems nice. Your grandma's a bitch, though. ❞
❝ I wouldn't provoke [him/her/them] if I were you. ❞
❝ Why are you so mean to me? ❞
❝ Did anyone follow you here? ❞
❝ It's so nice to get away from the kids for once. ❞
❝ I need you to be a part of my life. You're the only family I have left. I love you. ❞
❝ Why are you speaking? I told you not to speak. ❞
❝ This isn't fair. This isn't what I wanted. ❞
❝ Look at me! Look at what you did to me! ❞
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