come back to earth.

Chandler Muriel Bing. 22. UNICEF. When, my, time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her.

[chcndler]

Is anyone else concerned as to why it smells like vegetable oil and burning hair?

[chcndler]

monica-gellar:

"Little? Hearing that never gets old!" she grinned widely as she sat herself down, "now really, save the flattery for later and go place that vase where it belongs. I had to dig through my trash to get it back after Phoebe guilted me into throwing it away!" she huffed.

You know when she sees it  she's just going to go all  Mother Earth's Direct Disciple on you again, so why don't you just let the vase go?

[chcndler]

monica-gellar:

"Chandler… move it … now. Don’t make me hurt you!"

So much aggression in such a little person.

[chcndler]

phoebeorphyllis:

Wait you work?!

On a daily basis, yes.  Where do you think I go from 9 to 5 every day?

[chcndler]

traegerism:

Death and mortality aren’t to be taken lightly.

Well that happened. 

[chcndler]

traegerism:

But why eat food when you know it’s no good for you? There was a terrible amount of mayonnaise in this salad when I got it. Just terrible.

I at least know my light vinaigrette will keep my cholesterol from growing enormously and, subsequently, killing me in general.

Good to know you've....thought that through...

[chcndler]

robscherbats:

"I guess that might be easy enough if that’s your only demand. It’s a wonder you’re still single with an attitude like that!"

You had the chance to fix that the last time I asked you out.  And the time before that. And the time before that. 

[chcndler]

traegerism:

'Proud' isn't very far from it, considering I'd been kicked out for making my own salad dressing. Again!

It means my dressing is so good, they literally feel threatened by it. And that’s amazing!

You do know that the whole point of going out to eat is to get good food without having to actually make it,  right?

[chcndler]

monica-gellar:

"No …no … that doesn’t go there…"

But I don't...wanna move...it.

[chcndler]

traegerism:

"That was, shockingly, not the first time I’d been kicked out of a restaurant."

You seem a bit too impressed with yourself about that, pal.

[chcndler]

tomm-haverford:

Well I am super proud. What’s your name?

Chandler. 

[chcndler]

robscherbats:

"Well, now you just gotta get out there and find your dream guy!"

I'd settle for someone without any southern appendages.

[chcndler]

maxwtvr:

Do I want to know why you’re reading Cosmo?

I don't know what you want but if I were you, I'd have many, many  more pertinent questions.

[chcndler]

tomm-haverford:

You make gay jokes about yourself? Odd, but odd is the new cool. Everyone is tryna’ be different.

Ya I don't really care what everyone is trying to do, it's part of my charm.

[chcndler]

tomm-haverford:

Is it? I must be doing it wrong.

Ya, I tend to make the gay jokes about myself. Stear  into the skid.

[chcndler]

maxwtvr:

Must really suck for the men in your life.

What can I say? Cosmo is my goddess. 

[chcndler]

robscherbats:

"Well, okay then. Did you take the quiz from last month about which guy is right for you? I think it might come in handy."

As it happens, I did.  I am on the market for the strong type.