Only what's necessary.

Hello! How do you do? Allow me to introduce myself to you! I am the Cheapskate Once-ler, known for my knack of saving up just about every coin and bill that I earn. You will find that it's a great method; and I don't mean to boast, but as it turns out I'm wealthier than most! M!A: Reverse Cheapskate-ler

[cheapskateler]

[Right this way!]

[ask-game-ler-deactivated2021011]

R: *Wheeze* Ha…Pfft…R-rrich…

M: If you are quite finished being pleased about that little quip…even if I can see that you are in fact Cheap’s reverse now, I’m curious to ask, who might you be exactly?

[cheapskateler]

R: Huh? Oh. Ohhhhh......hi.

R: I’m...Rich. I suppose. You can....call me that. Shit. S-Sorry. I’m bad at this.

R: But you..you’re...not bad. Looking. Damnit. Damn. I mean. Hot. You’re hot.

M: Why thank you, that was most charming. Well Rich, you may refer to me as Mat, and it is a pleasure to meet you.

[cheapskateler]

...

.................hh...

Heheheheh........

HHAHh!! HAH!!! HHhow....how would you like...HUHha...to be...to be...RrrichEHHEHEHCH!!

OHHH MY GOD. FUCK. THAT’S GLORIOUS.

...Ohhh. Thank you for that...

[cheapskateler]

Why yes of course!!! I may have quite a sum as is, but if you’re offerin--

n-no!!! NO!! YOU CAN’T--

!!.....

*Thunk*

[cheapskateler]

Well! Isn’t this a strange variety of asks here. I meannn, unique! Unique variety.

Let’s see...

Uh, I’ve been ‘me’ this whole time; teeth, claws or otherwise. Being hungry doesn’t change that! Nothing does. Simple as can be!

Question 2! Now, this is a shift in tone...I....can’t say I know what you mean. I’m not going to lose anything. My business is very financially stable and I don’t really appreciate these kinds of questions! They’re kinda threatening....to be honest.

Third....last but not least...

...

....whew...okay.

It’s. Cheap.

Short for Cheapskate-ler. And I’m pretty sure most birds say more than just ‘cheep cheep’. They can...uhm....’honk’ or ‘squawk’ or make twittering noises, y’know?

Also, I bet that ‘Cheep’. C, H, E, E, P isn’t even in the dictionary! But you know what is? CHEAP. C, H, E, A, P.

So as many have correctly guessed...no affiliation with birds.

AND that’s all! I have answered your questions! The end! Thank you for your patronage and don’t forget! BUY A THNEED!!!

[cheapskateler]

Oh I’m not cranky! I’ve already made that pretty clear, I should think. Being hungry doesn’t make me cranky, actual problems do. I work pretty well on an empty stomach actuuuuaaallyy....

Now if you’ll excuse me, eating this sandwich with my teeth like this is probably going to be tricky and I’ll need to take my time.....!

*monch*

[cheapskateler]

Hmph. Oh, I’m fine. Justifiably upset as you can see, but fine!

This magic anon has changed into a bit of a waste of time after all...At this point I just need to stop thinking about it and focus on what really matters.

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike....

All the work I have to catch up on!

Buuuut first! I’m going to have this sandwhich right here...!

Thank you, my Assistant!

[cheapskateler]

Welllllllllllllll of course! You think that I’d forget myself?

What do you mean, anyway? Is it the magic anon? I mean, just because I look like a ‘greed-ler’....whatever that is....--doESN’T mean that I’d just forget what I rightfully am! A Once-ler!

...er. THE Once-ler.

...didn’t I.....just answer this one? Or. No no.....This is an anon this time. Huh! What a coincidence! Well I guess....um. Do you mean something different perhaps?

Are you talking about other people called ‘The Once-ler’? Cause I remember them too! There are certainly lots of them out there...and as I’ve mentioned I know a few. And I didn’t forget them. Clearly! Not that it would really make a difference if I did or didn’t...

.......But you did say ‘THE’ so...do you think there is just one out there? You talking about someone specific? Do you mean me?

...was there some absolute first guy called Once-ler or......???

YEEEEES!!??!!! YES I DO!!!

FOR CRIPES SAKE!!!!!!!

I am the Once-ler!!!! I’m not going to forget ME! That would never happen!!!

THERE! I answered your question!!!

NO MORE! That’s that! Not another word about this! It’s done!

[cheapskateler]

Yup! Claws! I have them! I suuuure do!

Ahahahahaha................

But why...?

......er...I don’t understand this.

A Greedler? Im a Once-ler. The Once-ler! Except I’m not the only one called The Once-ler so I’m Cheap! I mean, erm...The Cheapskate-ler to be precise.

I know some other folks...some other Once-ler folk like...Thespian-ler and Game-ler.....buuuuuut I’ve never heard of anybody who calls themselves Greed-ler.

I mean, why would anyone call themselves something like that? That’s just like openly saying you’re a greedy person! Why would you want to admit to that or flaunt it around for that matter?

So then, back to my previous point! What about these....claws? Or seeing green even?! I mean, sure some other businessmen like me that I’ve seen have looked a bit...strange....but.........but....

Now that I think about it, maybe they were just dealing with DUMB magic anons like me right now!!!

Seriously, what is the point in any of this?!

[cheapskateler]

Um?.....excuse me??? Ugly?!?

...I made these myself... See, I needed new ones...because....Because my other ones broke. What’s a guy to do when he breaks his glasses? Take any spare materials he’s got to craft new ones, of course!

And er, that’s what I did.

That’s what you call ‘being resourceful’; The staple of ANY cheapskate.

And suuuuure....You may be calling them stupid or ugly or whatever......but why don’t you ask everyone else who complimented them and even wanted to commission me to make a custom pair for them?

My glasses have got nothing but glowing reviews.

...

As a matter of fact, you all keep asking me about them. This must be the 4th...or 5th time someone’s made a comment about it? They must really stand out!

[ask-game-ler-deactivated2021011]

Was this at all necessary? This was….highly unprofessional.

[cheapskateler]

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffff--

Oh my Godivas, Mat...Looks like somebody--

AGH!!!!

[cheapskateler]

W-what...?

Uhm....not to burst your bubble or anything but that...this doesn’t make any sense.

Don’t you know I’m the Cheapskate Once-ler? Didn’t you hear me even one of the many many times I told you all that I am The Once-ler? Or more specifically The Cheapskate-ler?

You can’t just stand here and change my name with your...magical puffs of smoke and sparkly, glittery bippity boppity??

I am CHEAP! I’m not gr--

-eedy.

M: ..............................................

[cheapskateler]

Oh hey!! That’s really nice of you folks, but you know I’ve got a personal assistant now. Mat can do all of this and all that. So thanks, but I don’t think I need the extra help!

I ah, especially don’t need a suit fix. I fixed it all up myself a while back, y’see? I’m actually really good at sewing and knitting and all that--heh, what did you expect? I run a business centered around that sort of thing!

Alsooo....Pretty sure what you’re saying about the animals isn’t true either. Annoying as they may be they’re pretty much harmless!

They don’t come around here that often anymore anyhow so I would say I don’t have a single thing to worry about.

[cheapskateler]

Right, right. I’m pretty sure it’s not as bad as you say, Ga….Rev…..Uhhhhhhh….

–Now wait, hold on, just WHAT is your name?? You’ve never told me! Do you even have one?!

I can’t just go around calling you…..Reverse Game and all. I mean, listen to that! It’s a mouthful! That’s why I tell people to call me Cheap for short, you know. Nice and simple!

[ask-game-ler-deactivated2021011]

Hmmm. This of course would obviously be a particularly difficult question to answer, given the fact that I am indeed a reverse, and therefore you could refer to me as reverse Game.

If perhaps I were to use his birth name though, Victor, I would still be the reverse of such a name.

Yet, were one given the chance to obtain a name of their own choice, it seems fairly certain that personal preferences might influence their decision.

For example, Game is of course the name he chose for himself; as you should be aware, which is what most Once-lers tend to- 

[cheapskateler]

C: I'VE GOT IT!!! I'll call you Mat!!! 

See, it's very simple. Rolls right off the tongue! I was thinking you're not really one toooo......oppose what other people want, you know, you're not stubborn and you don't argue! Right? Riiiiiight???

Plus, you mind your own business...Haha! I mean it's my business really but you get what I saying!! 

M: Yes, I do understand as to what you're-

C: Just like right now, see!? It just suits you! Yeah!! I knew you'd get it!

M: It appears so....

[cheapskateler]

Right, right. I’m pretty sure it’s not as bad as you say, Ga....Rev.....Uhhhhhhh....

--Now wait, hold on, just WHAT is your name?? You’ve never told me! Do you even have one?!

I can’t just go around calling you.....Reverse Game and all. I mean, listen to that! It’s a mouthful! That’s why I tell people to call me Cheap for short, you know. Nice and simple!

[cheapskateler]

Ahhhh!!! Well thank you, folks!!! Admittedly the fact that my birthday was just around the corner slipped my mind! I guess that’s what happens when you’re as busy as I am!

But gosh, look at all this stuff!!! That watermelon will last a while---now that’s smart! I bet you’ve taken some of my tips to heart. Though I forgot how much the average melon o’ water costs....hah! Doesn’t matter! Thank you!

And a homemade blanket! I’m so flattered! You sure seem to know how to knit and I would know! But I suppose it’s all in your namesake, hm? Naturally, the Knit-ler would make a great blanket.

As for the package; the bow is a nice touch! There’s a lot of stuff here, that’s amazing!! I’ll have to look through that later!

Hey!!--uhhh....You!! Personal Assistant! Did you hear? It’s my birthday! Will you get me something too? R!G: Ah, well to put it into words that I feel even you could understand...No. I despise you.

C: .......................Uh...Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee that’s not nice! And on my birthday no less!...g-give or take......

C: All I did was ask...you don’t need to be so ruuuuude about it.

...

C: ....I bet Game would’ve gotten me a gift.....

[cheapskateler]

Well sure..! It’s really long...his hair, I mean. And it looks nice! You know, not messy. But...it does take more water and soap to wash it I bet. Definitely takes more time to brush...I probably would never grow my hair that long.

Anyway, I don’t think that matters as much as the quality of his work...and I have got to say he’s a good worker! Very organized and focused....

See, I work reeeaaallllly hard and I do most of the work in regards to my business. More than the average CEO, you could say. So it's good to get a little bit of support with all that so that I can do even more!

I showed him the ropes and picked it up in no time. I must be a great teacher!

All in all, He’s doing a great job working for me!