✵¯\_(ツ)_/¯✵

this blog is a mess and i don't tag shit. all my hyperfixations go to my likes

[crownkeeper]

before there were blorbos there were little meow meows and before there were little meow meows there were cinnamon rolls

[autistobrat]

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

[trashcangimmick]

[ckret2]

[hypotenussy]

"what that's just a picture of a fla-" *see the guy sitting on it* "OH FUCK OFF."

[brucebocchi]

[letatlin]

one american thing that confuses me are college application letters. why do you need to write yourself a tragic backstory to go to university, don't you have standardized exams? who's reading through all these bad high schooler essays?

[letatlin]

as opposed to someone's essay they wrote when they were 16, which is a permanent immutable window to their soul,

[evelyn-likes-robots]

It's a humiliation ritual, like everything else.

[stunningpicture]

When radiologists take a selfie

[spoken-not-written-deactivated2]

dead

[kireinahana]

Wait I’ve seen this

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[dogpuppy]

[scramratz]

[shitboy96]

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[fyeahlastwords]

“Things just went wrong too many times.”

— Suicide note of Tony Hancock (1924-1968).

[victusinveritas]

He's prostrating himself before the Eucharist, in case you're wondering. Or possibly planking.

[vvatchword]

@apocrypals

[apocrypals]

Hi, pope expert here. This isn’t funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress

[rainathrownaway]

We're all in extreme distress, he's not special.

[kosmogrl]

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

[neopetsilluminati-deactivated20]

hey wanna hear a joke

well too bad someone on tumblr might take it seriously

[angrybeardedbastard]

Ha ha

[klubbhead]

[trashcanbees-deactivated2019120]

The face of a broken man

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

hello darkness my old friend

[klubbhead]

Guys

I WANT TO DIE

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

H E L L O  D A R K N E S S  M Y  O L D  F R I E N D

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

S O U N D O F S I L E N C E I N T E N S I F I E S

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

S I L E N C E L I K E A C A N C E R G R O W S

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

IM JUST A SUCKER FOR PAIN

[nanachatdump]

This is the epitome of tumblr

[klubbhead]

This post has taken so many lives

[kentuckyfriedfungus]

PEOPLE HEARING WITHOUT LISTENING, PEOPLE TALKING WITHOUT SPEAKING!~

[rightleaninglibertarian]

@r4cs0

[r4cs0]

Where did yall dig this one out of

[superbeans89]

[awed-frog]

[ruffboi-mags]

oh artisanal. Wow that is bad kerning.

[ros-sauce]

(bravely) I think body parts should only hurt if something is wrong.

[kangamommynow]

And that something should be fixable

[teaboot]

Ideally with a warm bath and a good night's sleep

[spiritbladed]

something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.

[spiritbladed]

i actually had a specific hypothetical in mind when i made this post but shoutout to everyone tagging it with some variation of "gandalf when he cracks denethor in the face" because you're so right