*cracks knuckles* Here, let me tell you all how wrong these people are.
1. “Your husband only loves you for your shoe size,”
Actually, he loved her for her, but a shoe was his only clue to her identity. Cinderella takes place in a time before DNA testing, and as much as he was absolutely head-over-heels (no pun intended) for this girl, all he had in order to find out who she was was the glass slipper that fell off her foot as she was running away. I am so sick of people claiming he only loved her for her shoe size - you’re missing the point! He was trying to find her.
2. “Being sexually assaulted while you’re asleep by a man you’ve never met is considered a happy ending,”
Again, did you watch the movie? At all? He didn’t rape her, he kissed her. And kissing her was the only way to wake her up from a spell put on her by a misunderstood poor woobie an evil sorceress who was mad she wasn’t invited to a birthday party. Also, Aurora (that’s her name, for all you noobs out there who still call her “Sleeping Beauty”) had met Prince Philip before he kisses her - they have a little romantic duet together and bond. Now, this movie came out during a time when love at first sight wasn’t considered so taboo they had to condescend the main character and the viewers for believing in it, so it actually works out and doesn’t end with a two-dimensional villain leaving the princess to die.
Finally, kissing a girl awake to break a curse is not assault - he was saving her life. Does a guy need consent to give a girl mouth to mouth if she’s drowning and unconscious?
3. “Growing up in a world where your only worth is through marriage”
Wow, seriously? Watch a damn Disney that wasn’t made in the 2010′s for once in your life. Every Disney Princess has something of value to them, and not just because they find their prince charming.
4. “You’re expected to kiss a talking frog instead of putting him on youtube and making $$$$ like normal folks would”
The Princess and the Frog takes place in the 1920s, you moron. The Internet didn’t exist back then. Do you know anything about that movie besides the fact that the princess was black?
Also, let’s see; if a guy finds a talking animal that turns out to be a girl cursed into being said animal, and decides instead of saving her, he’s going to exploit her for cash, he’d be considered a vile monster, not smart. Also, no one expected Tiana to do anything with Naveen at the time she first found him. She kissed him because he told her it would save him.
5. “You’re either kissing a frog, a beast, or a creep who doesn’t even have the decency to wake you first,”
You are referring to three separate cases and each of them was unique.
Now in PATF, yes, Tiana kissed a frog, but it was part of the story and meant to serve as a plot point. It was the only way to break the spell - or rather, so it was thought, since the actual way to break the spell on Naveen was if her were to marry a princess.
In BATB, Belle never actually kisses him in beast form. He’s transformed into a human by the time the two kiss, so your point there is rendered completely null.
Finally, I’ve already discussed the issue with Sleeping Beauty. Why is he a creep for wanting to break the spell cast on her? He essentially performed magical CPR on the princess - apparently you need to ask permission to the unconsious person before you give them mouth-to-mouth.
Of course, then there’s Snow White. Very similar scenario. Kissing her was literally the only way to revive her. Now, I’ll give you this much, the prince in this situation didn’t know that at the time, but 1. He isn’t a creep just because he loves her, and 2. He and Snow meet before she’s put under a curse.
6. “Retinal damage from unnaturally large eyes,”
Oh look, one that refers to more recent DPs! Bout time.
It’s called stylistic choice. They are stylistically designed to be big. Ariel’s hair shouldn’t have as much volume as it does, but no one talks about that.
7. “I’m being stalked by seven horny midgets. Send help.”
How in the world did you even get this out of the plot of Snow White, you dolt? Snow was never stalked - in fact, she went into the dwarves’ house (uninvited, though in her defense she was on the run and needed a place to stay). The dwarves decided not to kill her because they felt sorry for her. In fact, she took up the role of “team mom” towards them all.
Seriously, how did you get “stalked” and “horny” out of any of that?
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