Pairing: Fake!boyfriend!Jake x Fem!Reader x Rival!Heeseung
Warnings: love triangle, cursing, fake dating, cheating(not mcs), eventual smut, angst(more to be added?)
Summary: You decide to fake date Jake to get your ex to back off but what happens when you find out he's your rival's best friend? What happens when Heeseung starts to question your "relationship" with Jake? Will your ruse come tumbling down or will you get your happy ending?
a/n: another short little chapter because work has me by the throat. my internship really has me functioning in a different timezone than the one i live in so i decided to say fuck it all and write this. @mellowgyu thank youuuu soooo much for helping me edit this babe(my half asleep rambling had too many errors), this would have taken a lot longer to post if it weren't for you. gawd i cannot wait to come back to tumblr and read, it's been too long. anywhooo, hope yall like it!
Part 1
tagging: @jakedustry, @simj4k3, @livmarauder
You're sitting in the Econ class, looking at your phone distracted as you contemplate what to do. You had gone back to your friends who were still staring at you, all shocked as you processed the fact that you just asked a stranger to be your fake boyfriend. You managed to explain it to Lia and Mari that you asked Jake out and he said yes but when they asked about the date itself, you sat in silence as you realized you did not with discuss anything with him that far. Seeing your expression, your friends reprimanded you, urging you to talk to him, only calming down once you told them you did get his number.
As you type and delete the message to Jake, you don't see Heeseung looking at you, wondering what had you glued to your phone since he knows you enjoy taking part in this class, it's the reason you're rivals after all. While he admits he's been pining after you since freshman year, he does love the banter you both share. At the beginning, it was just nice to interact with you in some way—still is— but as time passed, due to his competitive nature, he found it exhilarating to compete with you in a subject he enjoys.
Later, at the lounge their friend group occupies regularly, Heeseung watches Jake laze around on the couch while he himself is on edge, still thinking about your interaction from earlier.
Heeseung asks, "Where are you going for your first date?"
"I don't know, we haven't discussed it yet but I was thinking of the spicy tteokbokki place near the campus?" Jake replied and watched his best friend turn to him with a look of horror on his face.
"What?" Jake's question snaps Heeseung out of his confused state as he thinks of how he can reply.
"Have you asked her about it yet? You gotta make sure the first date is good, you know."
Jake nods as he takes his phone out to text you.
Even though you're going out with Jake, Heeseung doesn't want you or Jake to have a bad experience so he decides he's going to help him, even if it breaks his heart in the process.
"Oh, she said she doesn't like spicy food."
Just as I thought, Heeseung knew, of course he did, he noticed everything about you.
"Hee, do you have any ideas?"
"Me?"
"Yeah, I mean, you kind of know her, don't you?"
"I barely do, but fine. What about a cat cafe?"
"Oh, that sounds fun, let me check with her."
Heeseung knows you'll say yes, you love cats after all. The first time he saw you, you were playing with a cat in the university garden, you looked so beautiful in that moment that Heeseung knew he was done for. He saw you around multiple times after that and every time, your presence captivated him for a reason he couldn't quite figure out, and before he knew it, he was down bad for you. He just didn't know how to talk to you without making himself sound like a stalker, what would he say? Hi, I've been watching you play with the cats around our uni and I find you pretty so here I am? No thank you, he would rather die of embarrassment. He was so happy when he realized you took Econ this semester because that gave him a chance to talk to you but who would have thought you'd end up becoming rivals.
"She said she loves cats, I guess we're going to a cat cafe then. Do you know a good one?"
Heeseung snaps out of his trip down memory lane at that, "Yeah, there's actually one down the street."
"The one that you go to every week?"
"Uh huh, I've been telling you guys to come with, but you're too fucking lazy."
"Yeah yeah, I'll come with you next time."
Heeseung just rolls his eyes, knowing his lazy friends are not going to do that.
"How did you know she'd like cat cafes?"
"Huh?"
"You suggested it so I thought you knew."
"No- I just- you know- who doesn't love cats? They're adorable."
"You're right about that but come on Hee, what are you hiding from me?"
"I'm not hiding anything, really."
Jake's deadpan expression lets Heeseung know his best friends doesn't really believe him.
"Okay, I won't bother you if you don't want to talk about it."
Heeseung knows he's definitely going to bother him sooner or later. Fuck, I wish I was better at lying, but then again, even if he were, Jake knows him too well. God, why did it have to be him of all people that you chose to date?
You're lying on your bed, questioning your sanity as you think about what Heeseung said to you today in class. You had been so distracted the entire time and then he decided to drop the bomb that Jake was his best friend.
You let out a scream startling you flatmate before sheepishly apologizing to her and getting back to your train of thoughts. I should have never listened to Lia, how did I manage to fake date Heeseung's best friend? It would be so awkward, with the tension between us from the "rivalry". You groan, maybe I should have just shut up like I usually do, the one time I decide to be bold, the one time, what a disaster.
You straighten up suddenly, startling your flatmate once again, convincing yourself to think positively. It's okay, no worries at all, I don't have to run into him just because I'm "dating" his friend. Uh huh, I can do this, yeah, I can. You go to sleep repeating those words in your head.
Next morning, you're looking at your closet, unable to decide what to wear since today's your "first date" with Jake when Rina yells at you, snapping you out of your stupor.
She looks so done that her expression makes you shrink, "Girl, are you just going to stand there staring at your clothes? You're going to get late, you know?"
Looking at the clock, you realise she's right and rush to get ready. Rina just shakes her head, heading to her own room since she had the first half free today.
Yours and Jake's timetable happened to coincide today with both of you having the second half free, making it perfect to go to the cat cafe down the street. You've heard great things about it but didn't find the time to go since your friends were always dragging you elsewhere during your free time.
Jake stood in front of your class, waiting for you, but really, he's having fun making a show out of it with people trying to gauge why he's here. He sees you walk out and he has to admit, you're beautiful. You decided to put on your favourite summer dress, it's summer after all, and braided your hair. You look so soft, it has him melting into the wall he's leaning against.
You, on the other hand, didn't expect Jake to put in effort to dress up for your "date", but here he is, clad in a pretty ivory shirt with his hair slicked back, fuck, he looks delicious. As you reach him, trying not to obviously ogle his veiny hands peeking through the sleeves, you flash him a smile that you hope is innocent, because your thoughts are anything but.
"Hi."
You see him fumble for a second, realizing that he too, was busy checking you out. Feeling proud, you tilt your head, waiting for his reply.
"Hi, you look beautiful."
He proceeds to smile at you and you forget how to breathe, god, get yourself together, since when do you fawn over a man just for his smile? Reprimanding yourself, you thank him.
"You clean up well yourself, you know."
Smirking, Jake's confidence goes up, knowing he has your attention.
"Can't have my girl be the only one putting in effort, now can I?"
FUCK THIS MAN, HE'S SO UNFAIR, SAYING THOSE WORDS WITH THAT PRETTY FACE AND PRETTY VOICE, DOES HE WANT ME TO DIE?
Controlling yourself, you chuckle, "Your girl? You'll have to put in more effort for that."
This has him tilting his head back laughing and you laugh along with him. As your laughter fades, there's a certain tension that settles into the air between you and he leans in, coming close to your face as he holds your gaze with an intensity that has your breath hitching, "Challenge accepted, baby."
He then breaks away as he holds his hand out to you, "Shall we?"
Chuckling in disbelief, because you now understand this man's duality is going to drive you insane, you take his hand as you both walk to the cat cafe. On the way there, you and Jake made small talk, asking each other about things that you should probably know about your partner. Surprisingly, it was comfortable, he made it all feel so easy.
Entering the cafe, you squeal as you see all the furry little creatures run around, absolutely mesmerized. Jake chuckles, making a mental note to thank Heeseung because you look so happy, it makes him smile automatically.
"I'll go check with them about the reservation, okay?"
You just nod, too engrossed in watching a tiny kitten making its way towards the people sitting at the tables. Your eyes travel its path and you see the kitten has abandoned its original destination to the tables and has headed to the small space where people are just sitting on the ground with multiple cats around them.
You see the teeny cloud of dark grey fur just skip past others and jump straight into a person's lap. Cute, you smile to yourself, wondering if this person comes here often when your eyes land on their face and you pause, taken aback by the sight in front of you.
It's Heeseung, looking so peaceful as multiple kittens just climb onto his lap, softly purring and asking for pets. It's a shocking sight, you've never seen him so… calm and happy? He looks like he belongs here but you never would have guessed it. He's beautiful, though you'd never admit, not even to yourself, that the thought has crossed your mind many times before this moment.
You don't realise you've been standing there staring at your "rival" with your eyes wide open until Jake is back and follows your eyes to see his best friend.
"Oh."
His voice makes you flinch, and you feel embarrassed to think he caught you staring at another guy, let alone his best friend, when your were on a date with him. Although, it looks like he doesn't think of it weirdly.
"Didn't realise Hee would be here too."
"Huh?"
Jake looks back at you, "He comes here every week, but with his schedule changing, it's random. Should've known he would be here." He says, shaking his head.
You're still trying to process the information you just received, not only does annoying(ly smart) Heeseung like cats but he comes here every week on his half days? That is so cute, you immediately slap yourself mentally for thinking that. You just didn't know he was like this, but then again, you don't really know anything about him besides the fact that he's really good at Econ and loves to bicker with you at all times.
Jake then asks, "Do you want to go say hi? Or is it weird for you since you both don't get along? Is that why you were so shocked to see him?"
"I-I guess so, yeah, it's just, you know when you have a certain impression of someone even though you don't really know them but then find out something that seems very not like them and it feels weird even though you don't actually know them well so it's not?"
You close your eyes, regretting blabbering again, it's all you seem to do in front of Jake. You open them when you hear him chuckle, "Yeah, I get what you mean."
You smile, but suddenly you feel eyes on you and turn to see that Heeseung has spotted you both. He looks even more shocked than you did for a couple seconds before schooling his features and smiling at you both, then proceeds to ignore you in favour of the kittens. Fair, you think, as you watch him play with them.
Jake and you move to your reserved table to play with the cats and soon, you forget all about the interaction, at least that is what you keep telling yourself.
Heeseung busies himself with the cute little creatures that he loves so much, but he finds himself distracted because he cannot stop thinking of how pretty you look. You must have dolled up for the date, fuck, he didn't realise it was going to be today. He was very busy the first half of the day so he didn't see his friend dressed up, he would've figured it out if he did and rescheduled his plans to come visit.
As much as he'd love for you both to enjoy your time together here, he couldn't bear to witness it himself. He's not ready for that yet, why is fate testing him already? Maybe it's his fault for telling Jake about this place. Wait, he didn't think this thoroughly, what if you like this place(he knows you will) and make it a regular spot for your dates? Noooo, why did I do this to myself?
Even with his nerves on edge, Heeseung still knows where you both are seated, trying his best not to glance at you because he's scared of how his own feelings will make him react to you and Jake being happy together.
However, there's something odd about you today, is something wrong? Did his reaction earlier make you suspicious? Why else would you keep looking back to where he is every few minutes? Jake is too into the cats to notice, but Heeseung can feel your eyes on him, there's no way he wouldn't.
His heart makes the decision for him and he's lifting his head up and catching your eyes the next time he feels your gaze on him but the moment he sees you actually looking at him, with your eyes wide open and shining with curiosity, he's stunned in place.
That look in your eyes, it was so different, you were usually only ever glaring at him with that competitive fire raging in you—don't get him wrong, he loves that expression— but right now, you look so beautiful, like you've discovered something new and can't take your eyes off until you know more. It baffles him, because really, why would you look at him like that? Especially when you're on a date with Jake? It makes no sense. Even more so, when you realise he's caught you looking at him and turn away, ears all red, probably feeling embarrassed.
Heeseung has never been more perplexed and he doesn't know what to do with himself. For now, he decides to focus on the tiniest kitten currently pawing at his hand, because even though he wants to leave right now to avoid seeing you both, he cannot ignore his favorite pair of eyes staring at him so prettily (he means the cat, of course, not you). As he continues to spend time trying to feed the kittens, he decides, he can deal with whatever happened later, right now he just wants to pet some cats and then some more.
Package Deal: Teaser
Ship: Best Friend!Heeseung x Reader x Enemy!Sunghoon
Description: For as long as you were going to be Heeseung’s best friend, you’d have to put up with his other best friend, Sunghoon, who absolutely despises you. Things only get more complicated after an incident that leads people to think you took the package deal.
Warnings: Threesome, Eiffel Tower, MxM action, Dom/BratTamer!Heeseung, Switch!Sunghoon, Oral (m&f receiving), Unproteced Sex, Creampie, Cum Play, Edging, Overstimulation, Humiliation/Degradation, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Praise, Pussy Slapping, Multiple Orgasms, Sadomasochism, literally this is 90% smut barely any plot, terrible attempts at humor
Estimated Wordcount: 14.6k
Release Date: May 15th, 2026
When you first met Heeseung, it was for your debate program in University. He was the only one who could match you with for wit, point for point, all within the allotted time and with brevity and well spoken analysis that you were in awe of. Surprisingly the two of you did not become rivals, the way high school you would've fantasized, having read way too much enemies to lovers fanfiction. No, instead you two actually became very good friends, sticking together even after graduation.
Heeseung was practically perfect in every way except with one minute (major) flaw: his other best friend.
You and Park Sunghoon never really saw eye-to-eye; the moment you crossed paths with his childhood best friend, his original debate partner back in high school, you knew you had entered a battlefield.
It was a never ending fight between the two of you, always vying for Heesung's affections. Sunghoon had always accused you of being a leech, just another sycophant who would reveal her true colors and nefarious intentions towards his best friend. Apparently they had known each other since childhood, and he had seen a million girls like you come and go. You, on the other hand, found Sunghoon to be an entitled, pompous brat. He was so used to Heeseung being his and his alone that you had trouble picturing him sharing. That's probably why girls didn't last long around Heeseung.
It didn't help that Heeseung was constantly trying to facilitate things between the two of you, arranging for the three of you to hang out despite both parties' protest.
"If you guys only got to know each other better, I'm sure you'd get along!"
"Won't you guys try, for me? C'mon, I've always pictured what things would be like, the three of us."
"You're both my best friends. Why would anyone choose just one?"
More times than you can count you were invited to hang out with Heeseung and Sunghoon would already be there. You tried to get along with the man, really, but it was nearly impossible. He was so possessive of Hee, constantly glaring at the two of you when Heeseung got affectionate with you. He always had some snide comment to make about it afterwards with you, like just seeing you two so close made him want to throw up. You were positively sure at this point that the younger was in love with his best friend, but it was a working theory.
Regardless, anything you showed up to with Heeseung, you'd have to be ok with Sunghoon tagging along as well. Tonight's party was no exception, though you had lost track of the duo when you went to find a drink to drown your sorrows, and then had to do it again after finding an active sorrow to drink over.
You stumbled up the stairs with a heavy heart, downing most of your cup to replace one bitter taste in your mouth with another. To your surprise you see your best friend waiting in the hallway, no Sunghoon in sight, looking just as drunk as you based on his slight swaying.
You walked up to him, grabbing onto his arm for support, needing the comfort of his body heat against yours right now.
"Hey, where've ya been? I've been looking for you for the past ten minutes I feel," you pouted, taking another sip of the fruity concoction in your cup.
"Hey, sorry! Hoon broke the seal, and I didn't want to lose more than one person in a single night," Heeseung chuckled, pulling you in closer to his side. "How're you enjoying the party?"
You shrugged, unsure if you wanted to mention the sight downstairs you were currently running from. "It's fine, I guess."
"Yeah, I was thinking about the three of us ditching to go to that party on Brunswick, but none of us seem quite capable of driving just yet."
That put a damper on your hopes of Heeseung whisking you away from this place.
"I just remembered, I forgot to show you earlier today the new watch I got from Etsy!" Heeseung's glazed eyes lit up. "Look, it's called a serpent's watch."
Heeseung flashed the fancy accessory on his wrist, the nontraditional wristband being coils of metal that wrapped down his wrist, the clock shaped closer to an oval or diamond than a circle. It really was shaped liked a serpent.
You absentmindedly nodded, fingers brushing over the way the watch wrapped around Heeseung's wrist. Your mind kept drifting, however, and without sobriety to keep your mind where it should be, tears were soon falling from your eyes.
Hee noticed immediately.
"Hey hey, what's wrong?" Heeseung cupped your face in his hands, thumbs swiping under your eyes to wipe away at the tears. "It's a party, you should be happy-drunk, not sad-drunk."
Your lip trembled as you melted into Heeseung's touch. "It's Jake," you explained, a pout on your lips as you said the name. "Just saw him downstairs with some girl. I just wasn't expecting it to hit so hard, y'know?"
"Aw, baby, I'm so sorry." Heeseung wasn't the biggest fan of your ex, secretly (not so secretly) elated when the two of you broke up. You didn't share the same sentiments, very clearly heartbroken when Jake dumped you to have sex with other girls. Go figure. "It's natural to be upset."
"I just—" You sucked in a breath. "I want to be over it already, y'know? I'm so sick of being pathetic and still crying about it."
"It was only two months ago. I don't blame you."
"You should. You should be sick of me at this point, crying to you about this. God knows Sunghoon is." You blinked away the tears, slowly coming back down to Earth as you grounded yourself further against Heeseung. "I'm sick of me."
"I could never be sick of you, trust me. Jake doesn't know what he's missing out on. Any sane man would be on his knees for you if you so much as asked."
That earned a laugh out of you, effectively brightening your spirit. You sniffled, resting your forehead against Heeseung's shoulder, sighing as you composed yourself. "Thanks, Hee. I appreciate it. God, why can't more guys be like you? There's too many assholes like Jake and Sunghoon around."
Heeseung chuckled at that. "Hey, Hoon's not that bad."
"He is to me."
"You guys just need to work on getting closer, that's all. Find some shared interest or hobby or something. Anything you might like to do together."
You rolled your eyes a bit. "I don't think there's anything like that that doesn't involve violence."
"He likes you more than you think. He just doesn't realize it yet," Heeseung assured.
You heard a knock from inside the bathroom, Sunghoon's voice calling out. "Heeseung?"
"Speak of the devil," Heeseung grinned. He turned toward the door. "What is it?"
"Can you come in here real quick?"
Both you and Heeseung exchanged puzzled glances.
"Are you guys about to get up to some gay shit?" You whispered quietly. "I mean, it's hot, I guess. Am I supposed to keep watch?"
"Dunno yet. Let me see what he needs," Heeseung said, not even bothering to deny the homosexual allegations as he stepped inside the bathroom. Sunghoon was turned away from Heeseung, looking down and fidgeting with something. "Everything ok man?"
"Yes— I mean no— I mean... shit." Sunghoon turned around, letting Heeseung see his situation. Unfortunately for him, the zipper of his pants had gotten stuck onto his boxers and was refusing to budge. "It's stuck," Sunghoon stated the obvious. "I've been trying to get it loose for like, five minutes now."
"Whoo boy, let's see what we're dealing with." Sunghoon wasn't used to having Heeseung's hands so close to his genitalia, but he supposed it was a testimony to how close they were.
Sunghoon leaned against the sink, ears tinged pink with embarrassment as Heeseung yanked at the zipper with reasonable force.
"Hey, watch it man! I don't need you zipping up my balls, too," Sunghoon freaked.
"Relax, it's not— Jesus Christ, this thing really isn't budging," Heeseung hissed, hands starting to become sweaty with his efforts.
Sunghoon's eyes widened. He buried his face in his hands, feeling how hot his cheeks were already getting "Fuck. Fuck, man, what am I gonna do? I can't go out there with my fly like this!"
"I'd be more worried about the fact you spent, like, 500 bucks on these pants." If Heeseung used too much force on this he was at risk of breaking it beyond repair, and he really couldn't afford repairs for Prada the way Sunghoon could.
"Dude, I literally want to die right now." Sunghoon prayed everybody would be drunker than he was, at least enough where he could make a speedy exit without anyone noticing his problem.
"Wait!" Heeseung's head shot up, as though a brilliant idea came to him. "I know someone who's great with zippers!"
Sunghoon's thick brows furrowed, and all he could think about was lightning somehow shooting into the house and striking him down mercifully. "What? Wait—"
"Y/N! Get in here, we need your help!" Heeseung swung open the bathroom door, dragging you inside without preamble or Sunghoon's approval.
You grumbled, eyes narrowed with confusion. "Do I need to aim for you guys or...?"
"No! Hoon's got a bit of a..." Heeseung's eyes flicked down towards his friend's crotch. "...situation."
Your eyebrows jumped this time. "He has a boner?"
"No!" Now it was Sunghoon's turn to interject. He felt like he could die of embarrassment then and there, having to humiliate himself in front of you of all people. "My zipper is stuck."
"Aw, guess that Prada label doesn't guarantee quality after all, does it?" You jutted your lip out in a fake pout, taking your opportunity to jab at him. You were still suffering from the sting of seeing your ex, and Sunghoon was the best target you could ask for tonight. This was just too perfect.
"Hey, be nice," Heeseung scolded. "Will you help?"
"Maybe..." You tapped your cup against your chin, pondering. "If he begs."
"What?!" Sunghoon was shocked by your sheer audacity.
You shrugged, fighting (and failing) to keep the corner of your mouth from quirking up into a smirk. "If you want me to help, you have to say please. It's only polite."
"Oh my god, you're such a bitch—"
"That's not very nice."
"Nice? I can—"
"Guys, stop!" Heeseung interrupted the both of your squabbling, not wanting to be cramped in a bathroom with the two of you shouting in his ear. "Just say please, Hoon."
Sunghoon's eyes practically bulged out of his sockets when he heard Heeseung taking your side. You stuck your tongue out at him like a child, triumphant.
He gritted his teeth, clenching his jaw as he muttered the words. "Will you please help me with my zipper? Please?"
You looked so cheeky and smug, putting your cup down on the sink. Sunghoon suddenly had the urge to bite you. "Well, since you sound so pathetic."
You reached for the zipper, and Sunghoon hissed to resist the urge of slapping your hands away out of annoyance. "I'm gonna get you back for this, I swear..."
"That's not how you say thank you to a favor, Hoon," you teased, your fingers twiddling with the zipper as you tried to yank it up.
"We both know you aren't doing this as a favor." Fuck, you were so close to him. He could smell both the perfume you wore and the alcohol you drank. Now he had to worry about the friction your jerky little tugs were causing.
"Aw, look at you guys getting along," Heeseung smiled, reaching up to pat your head. "I told ya, you just needed to bond a little."
"We are not bonding— ow!" You tried to turn your head to face him, but something caught in your hair. You tried to move again, only realizing that Heeseung's fancy watch was now tangled against you.
"Sorry!" Heeseung apologized, trying to move his hand back but tugging your head along with it. "Oh, sorry again!"
"Stop moving!" You reached one hand back to reach for his wrist, trying to pull a few strands away to get loose.
"Can you get lower? It's hard for me to untangle myself at this angle."
"Fuck!" The hand still on Sunghoon's zipper yanked on it in frustration, the tug doing nothing to free it.
"My hand's getting tired up here, it'll be quicker!" Heeseung whined petulantly.
You rolled your eyes and reluctantly sank onto your knees, the cold tile biting against your skin. You were now staring up at Sunghoon, who found the view a lot hotter than he cared to admit.
But he did say he was going to get back at you.
A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. "Look at you. Can't believe you're on your knees in a bathroom for me."
You scowled. "It's not for you."
"Right. You're on a dirty bathroom floor for me and Heeseung." Sunghoon couldn't help but snicker at your glare.
You reached up for his zipper with both hands, tugging it back down in another attempt, your other hand gripping onto fabric to pull it out. "You really shouldn't piss off the one with a zipper to your balls."
"That's if you can do your job correctly."
"Oh, you can fuck right off— Oh fuck, Hee!" Your head jerked back again slightly, and your eyes scrunched shut in slight pain.
"Sorry!" Heeseung apologized again, patting your head with the unadorned hand. "It's almost out, just a little longer."
"Fuck!" You gripped onto Sunghoon's pants tighter, pulling him closer to you as you jerked the zipper more, feeling some leeway.
Sunghoon gripped onto the sink counter, trying not to fall against you or get hard. The sound of your little whine made the latter nearly impossible. It was difficult too with the sight of you frustrated and on your knees between the two of them, though, tiny hands scrambling with his zipper, and his mind was going to places they really shouldn't.
Your hand was moving the zipper up and down, desperately trying to get it loose, the tiny bit of fabric bunched beneath slowly giving way. You fisted at the fabric next to it, trying to pull it in the opposite direction so it would give.
"Fuck, I think I'm close," you muttered quietly to yourself, not even realizing how you sounded.
Fuck. Fuck Sunghoon needed to get his zipper fixed now because any second now he was going to get obviously hard, and there'd be absolutely no way of hiding it from you or Heeseung.
"I-I think I might—"
"Shut up, I'm almost there!" Of course you'd be fucking stubborn when you put your mind to something.
"Me too!" His best friend innocently commented, eyes glued on his watch. Heeseung seemed oblivious to Sunghoon's panic, just as focused as you when it came to the task at hand.
You tugged one more time, the slide finally becoming easier and the zipper making its way successfully to the very bottom, no fabric stuck. "Finally!"
Heeseung managed to free his watch with your hair still intact, though it was a mess from the tangles and pulling from prior. "Yes!" He rolled his wrist with satisfaction, his other, unadorned hand now combing through your mess of hair in attempt to smoothe it. "See, that wasn't too bad."
Sunghoon felt entirely too suffocated, and for the first time in his life he was desperately wanting a woman off her knees. "For you," he huffed, feeling hotter by the minute.
It was just then that the bathroom door, which you neglected to lock behind you, swung open.
The three of you must've been a sight: your hands up near Sunghoon's crotch while you were on your knees, Sunghoon's pants unzipped, your hair a tangled mess and makeup slightly smudged from crying. Sunghoon and Heeseung were also incriminating, both sweating a little from their frustration, breathing heavy from their intense focus on very different missions.
Heeseung looked like a deer in headlights as he turned back toward the people in the doorway, the appearance of the situation seemingly dawning on him.
"Um... I know this is super cliché but... this isn't what it looks like."
mostly real i, too, wonder how I've managed to make it this far, but my mom debates I more..... (#loredrop) (do NOT ask further about my mom)
💟 no pressure tags bcs i need to see my moots n their tropes : @woniefication @shyoko @yooniso @myuviis @koiiq @chrrific @blooddlusts @seobluuu @luvmahae etc
Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence and death, mentions of blood, possession and usage of weapons such as guns and blades, multiple breakdowns(yes, these characters go through a lot), mentions of abandonment of children, mentions of war, murder, threats, betrayal, inaccurate depictions of spy x family characters/plot devices(for plot convenience), mentions of criminal organisations, self-condemnation and self-blame, slow burn, lots and lots of angst (im sorry if i missed anything, please let me know)
Synopsis: You and Jihoon have been living a peaceful married life for the past year. One fine morning, WISE and The Garden assign the two of you with the same mission, unbeknownst to either organisation. What happens when the spy and the assassin end up finding out each other's identities? Will you be able to keep the peace you so desperately long for or will you ruin it with your own hands?
a/n: hi everyone, this is part one of my fic for the blockbuster collab and this if my first long fic? I might as well just call it my first fic and god I'm honestly so nervous. I'm so sorry it took so long and thank you for waiting. First of all, big big big thank you to @belovedgyu, @jakedustry and @nerdycheol for hosting this collab and for having me participate in it(and also for being such sweethearts and extending my deadline). Also a huge thank you to my lovely darling @mellowamour for being there for me throughout this journey and for beta-reading, and my lovely cutie @livmarauder for helping with the banner and the title, like seriously, I could not have finished this without you both(thanks for being there when I was crashing out and quite literally scrapped more than half of my original draft and rewrote the story). Last but not the least, thank you to all my fellow lovelies @choco-scoups, @caratchronicles, @gentleisa, @luvrung, @hopecutie, @pomegranate-teardrop, @onionhassayyo, @chogiwaw, @paradiseonthemoon, @cxffecoupx who were a part of the collab and made me feel so welcomed and excited about this. I got to make so many friends and finally gathered the courage to start writing so yeah, this has been wonderful and I am so immensely proud of everyone. I hope you enjoy reading this!
Playlist (not exactly a full playlist but a few songs that I listened to while writing this that hit hard) : What kind of future by Woozi | Farewell, Neverland by TXT | Strangers in the night by Frank Sinatra | Rewrite the stars by Anne-Marie and James Arthur | To you by Seventeen
a/n(2): I just discovered woozi covered spy x family OST and I am speechless. How insane that I wrote this fic without knowing this and ended up finding out now. Spy Jihoon was meant to be.
One Sunday morning, Jihoon wakes up expecting to go through his weekend routine — making breakfast, waking up his daughter, eating together and spending the rest of the day trying to get Anya to study. He freshens up and goes to the kitchen wondering how to make studying better for Anya when he pauses to see his wife awake and trying to cook; he immediately knows that this day was not going to go as usual.
You, his wife as of last year, are panicking over the breakfast you seem to be trying to salvage, desperately. Jihoon sees the hoard of dishes in the sink from your failed attempts, and as always, he goes over to help soothe you while making sure that there's edible food for everyone. He calls your name, seeing you flinch and look at him apologetically. "I'm so sorry, I was just trying to make a simple breakfast since you always cook but I can't seem to get it right. I didn't mean to wake you up or make such a mess." You start apologizing profusely, but he stops you by calling your name softly. "You don't have to cook when I can, you already do so much for this family, it's only right that you don't have to worry about this." He says, and thanks you for trying anyway.
Since he took over the cooking, you go to wake Anya in the meantime. By the time breakfast's ready, Jihoon sets the table to see that the two of you have come out of the room. After a peaceful breakfast, he thinks his day will proceed as expected after he fixed the fiasco this morning. He's interrupted by Becky, Anya's friend, who comes knocking at their door followed by her bodyguard, Martha. "Surprise!!! Anya! Let's go shopping today!" Jihoon sees his daughter eager to escape his nagging and lets her go for today, deciding it beneficial for her to bond with the Blackbell heiress.
Now that his routine of trying to get his daughter to study is out of the sequence, Jihoon thinks it a good thing, maybe I can get some paperwork done. He's interrupted from his thoughts when the phone rings, and he goes to pick it up since you're doing the dishes. "Jihoon, it's an emergency, your presence is required immediately." When he hears The Handler say, he informs you that he has an emergency at the hospital and rushes to meet with her.
Meanwhile, you are in the middle of doing the dishes when the phone rings again. When you pick it up, you realise it's a call from The Garden. A high priority mission, they say, an escort job like the last time on the cruise. Except this time, neither the client nor anyone else can know about your presence since it is going to be at the airport, the client will be departing on a "business trip" to leave the country. The client is reportedly a spy, which confuses you as to why The Garden would try to protect a spy. When you voice your confusion, they tell you, "She may be a spy, but the Red Circus should not get their hands on her as they will use her death as a political instigation to start a war against Westalis." The prospect of a war makes you determined to ensure this mission goes well, after all, the very reason you do this work is to prevent a war from hurting your family. It's different from your previous missions though, it requires you to be in disguise. "Additionally, you will have a team of three with you, all in disguise. It's a very sensitive mission and we cannot compromise our people or the client, so make sure no one recognizes you. No one should know any of you were there. She's leaving tomorrow." Those words keep playing inside your head as you try to figure out how to handle this.
At the WISE hideout, Jihoon is in the middle of a meeting where they are discussing the details of the new mission. "This mission is different from our previous ones, it's an escort mission." What? Jihoon questions if he heard that correctly. As if seeing right through him, The Handler looks right at him as she says, "That's right. An escort mission. The woman you see on the screen is one of our aides, Maya, who has been compromised. By that, I don't mean that she was discovered by the State Security, it is the Red Circus." That revelation catches Jihoon off-guard. "How?" He hears one of his colleagues question, as he wonders the same. "You see, she is an official with a family that no one would have suspected. As it turns out, her husband is part of the Red Circus and the two found out about each other's identities during the recent ruckus caused by the Red Circus, when she warned us about their activity." Once again, Jihoon is baffled. "How is that possible? Did she not see any signs during the time they were together?" The same colleague questions again. "He seems to have been with them since the very beginning and concealed his identity far better than any of us could have expected. We cannot always account for all the variables in life." Everyone seems stunned by The Handler's words, to think that the Red Circus had people that were so capable to fool a WISE aide for that long, it made Jihoon shiver just imagining the kind of damage they could do.
"Your mission is to ensure that she is escorted safely out of Ostalis, we cannot leave our aides to fend for themselves in times of danger like these. Leaving her in the hands of the Red Circus could cause the very war we're trying to prevent. They will use her death as the turning point to achieve their goals, painting it as Westalis' job and destroy this fragile peace between the two countries. You will be a team of four, with Twilight leading the mission. She will be leaving tomorrow for a "business trip", ensure that she boards her flight safely." With that, The Handler dismisses everyone. On the way home, Jihoon's mind is plagued by the weight of the situation, as it dawns on him just how badly the situation could escalate if anything goes wrong tomorrow.
When he gets home, he sees you cooking, again, despite his words this morning. Surprisingly though, his worries vanish when he sees that you managed to make something edible this time. "You look tired, I wanted to lessen your workload since you were called in for an emergency even during the weekend." Hearing your words, he smiles at you, thanking you for doing this for him. By the time you both are done eating, the bell rings and you see Anya in Martha's arms, in deep sleep. When Jihoon sighs at the sight, you just smile, endeared by them. Jihoon apologises to Martha, taking Anya in his arms and puts her to bed. Later, when both of you are in your rooms trying to sleep, you realise that even though the normalcy in your lives distracted you for a bit, the two of you are very much wide awake thinking about the severity of the mission tomorrow.
Monday morning arrives, with the two of you alert and awake. Jihoon goes to make breakfast while you wake up Anya and get her ready for school. Despite the mission ahead, you manage to maintain pleasantries the whole morning. You both send Anya off to school and part ways to get to work yourselves.
Anya, sitting in her school bus, is worried. She couldn't read her parents' minds today, it was a full moon after all. Even though everything seemed normal, both her father and mother seemed distracted. It bothered her that she didn't know the reason. She soon forgets about this once she gets to school and meets her friend, Becky.
You reach the City Hall on time as if you were here on your everyday work. Once inside though, your superior calls you in for an "errand".
"You will be disguised as Kira Blair, an American here on a vacation returning home this afternoon." Says your manager, pointing at the wig, scarf, mask, lenses and clothes.
Once you get changed into your disguise and step out, you are met with the sight of your teammates all in disguise, similar to you. This may be a different mission, but it's nothing you can't handle. You repeat those words in your head as you head to the airport.
Jihoon's team arrives at the airport around the same time your team is queuing up to enter the airport. As you enter, you discreetly look for your client and any possible attackers. Ironically, Jihoon stands a few steps away from you doing the same. When you pass by him at the security, Jihoon pauses, taken aback. Something about you feels so familiar but he cannot put a name on it. Before he can think about this more, you move further down the line while Jihoon finally spots the target. She's on the other side of the security check, alert and cautious of her surroundings.
You finish your security check when you spot Maya, making your way into a clothing store nearby while keeping your eye on her. Once Jihoon finishes his check in, he moves towards a restaurant close to the seating area where Maya is waiting for her flight.
You see your teammates moving around when you spot someone glancing at your client. At the same time, Jihoon spots someone moving towards her. This causes both of you to be on high alert, ready to move when you see the two passengers slip past Maya and head towards the gate open for a flight that is about to take off.
However, the two of you remain on high alert with that incident, keeping an eye on the surroundings while ensuring you don't make it obvious. Just then, Jihoon spots one of your teammates, nothing about him screams danger but to his trained eye, it is obvious that this person is not an ordinary passenger. He immediately straightens up, even more cautious, keeping an eye on him while trying to scope out the area to see if there are any more people like him.
You, on the other hand, spot one of Jihoon's teammates. Your gut screams at you that something is off, and when you look at your surroundings, a chill runs through your spine. Your senses alert, making you realise that the atmosphere is weirdly calm. Almost as if everyone is at complete ease but when you focus, none of them really are.
While you think of what your next course of action can be, Jihoon senses that the entire waiting area seems subtly alert. He couldn't pick up on this earlier, didn't think of this as soon as he walked in. He sharpens when he realises that the people here are far more skilled than he imagined.
You tap into your in ear monitor informing your team about your realisation. "There is a suspicious individual, he's wearing blue and is hovering around the sofa where Maya is seated." Having only identified one suspicious individual, you decide to lure him out to a closed space. "Kai, lure him into the washrooms and try to test him but do not alert anyone, please be careful not to involve anyone else."
Jihoon observes Kai moving towards his teammate, Lar and informs his team. "One suspicious individual identified, he's wearing a pink shirt and is currently moving towards Lar. Everyone, remain alert, we cannot cause a commotion here. Lar, be careful not to involve any civilians, we need to handle this carefully." While both sides trust their teammates to handle this, the teams still remain on high alert. You and Jihoon watch as your colleagues head inside an empty washroom, waiting with bated breath for them to come out safely.
A few minutes pass and when neither of you see your comrade come out, you both immediately spring into action. The moment both of your teams move, is when everyone recognizes there are more people. Apart from you and Jihoon, who are hidden in the restaurant and the clothing store, the rest of your teammates are exposed to each other due to their positions. With the realisation that your teams are exposed, you and Jihoon, as the leaders, take charge to keep your teams safe while keeping your positions in the dark.
Directing your teams to move, you and Jihoon check to see that Maya hasn't caught onto the commotion yet, nor has anyone else, thankfully. With no one having any weapons on their person, it all depends upon their physical combat. However, none can afford to draw attention towards themselves.
As you give instructions to your teammates, you realise that your every move is being countered, as if someone else was watching and instructing them too. Every time someone moves from your side, the enemy is already moving away. This fact has you looking around to find the other person, to see if your intuition was right, yet, you cannot find them.
At the restaurant, Jihoon is in a similar position, having observed how every move they make was countered, he could tell that there must be another person on their opponent's team instructing their teammates. He too, tries to find them to no avail.
Deciding to retreat for now, both teams move discreetly, enough to still keep an eye on the target but away from each other to not raise any suspicion. When your team is safe, you instruct them to lay low, deciding that the safety of the client is more important than eliminating the enemy. Jihoon too, instructs his team to focus on ensuring the target is safe over prioritising the enemy's defeat.
After the bitter withdrawal from the team fight, both teams refocus on their mission—escorting Maya safely out of this country. Still, everyone is extremely cautious, believing the other to be the enemy, all remain in complete awareness of Maya's movements as well as the enemy's movements.
Just as you and Jihoon contemplate how to proceed with the mission, an announcement interrupts you. "The flight to France departing at 14:30, boarding starts in ten minutes." You just have to keep her safe for these ten minutes and ensure she boards the flight safely. With the boarding time about to start, your teams are once again on the lookout for any threats near the target.
Seeing Maya move to get in line, Nora, one of your teammates, and Posie, one of Jihoon's teammtes, move closer to remain in the vicinity to protect her in case of any attacks. While they move, you and Jihoon remain in your spots, concealed from the enemy while trying to search for each other. Boarding starts in two minutes and the mission will soon be over, yet, neither of you can relax knowing that there are so many people here for reasons unknown.
A sound makes you and Jihoon pause, as the both of you turn towards the noise, realising it was just a child crying out loud, you both lock eyes. In that moment, both of you realise that you have found the person you were looking for. No one else would have reacted with that speed, but the fact that you did, gave you away to each other. Now knowing each other's positions, the two of you move to get away, because you cannot afford to confront each other and cause chaos in that critical moment.
"I've been exposed, I'm moving towards a quieter area, keep me updated with the progress of the mission." you say to your team.
"I've been compromised, I'll be farther away, keep me posted with the mission progress." Jihoon relays to his team as he continues to wonder why your eyes keep bugging him, almost as if something on the back of his mind is trying to remind him who you are.
You quietly move towards the restricted area, choosing a quieter place in case you are found again. Jihoon too, swiftly moves to the same area. You both are turning corners from the opposite sides when you, once again, lock eyes with each other. That is when Jihoon realises who you are, the person he saw at the entrance. He thought there was something so familiar about you, looking at you now, he wonders why he still feels that way, maybe because she's the enemy and my instincts recognised that, he reasons. Still, there's something about your eyes that feels so familiar and yet, he cannot tell because it looks like you have colored lenses on.
Knowing you have nowhere to go now, the two of you walk towards each other, sizing each other up, trying to decide how to go about this whole ordeal without airport security catching you. Once you get close enough to attack, you take out your hair pin to strike him while Jihoon tries to knock you out, only for both of your attacks to be useless against the other. When you realise this and change tactics, Jihoon manages to land an attack that has your mask slipping from the tips of your ears and your scarf tumbling down, exposing your face to him. In that moment, he is stunned, completely immobile; while you, despite being confused over his sudden inability to move, take the chance to strike at him, your hairpin accidentally hitting his face. The next moment, his disguise falls apart too, revealing the face of your enemy.
The two of you pause, a million questions running through your minds, confused and shocked beyond words. You think to yourself, what the hell is your husband doing here? All the while Jihoon is trying to understand the situation, because really, what in the world is his wife doing in front of him at this place? You both are brought back to reality when you hear your teammates reporting that Maya has successfully boarded the plane and it took off safely. With your teams urging for you to get back, you turn around, fix your disguises and revert because at that moment, it's all either of you can think of doing.
Getting back to your teams, both you and Jihoon stay silent, not answering your teams' questions. Still in shock, neither of you know how to move forward, but you're both keeping quiet about the whole situation, subconsciously. It is then that the thought hits you, you don't want to expose Jihoon. At the same time, he too realises that he does not wish to reveal your identity. That realisation keeps you both numb through the journey back to report to your organisations.
At WISE hideout, Jihoon and his team are gathered in front of The Handler, running through the course of events. When one of his colleagues mentions the other team discovering his position, Jihoon explains that he took cover in a restricted area and left the premises when his team reported the mission to be complete. On the way back home, he realises the weight of the lie he just told his comrades. If they were to find out what he did, not only would your life be in danger, but his too. After all, he would be suspected of treason. Still, he can't bring himself to expose the information that he, unfortunately, gained today.
At The Garden headquarters, you stand before The Shopkeeper while the rest of the team recaps the incident to him. Your coworkers mention that you were discovered, and The Shopkeeper turns to you to explain further. Your brain autopilots and launches into an explanation where you omit the confrontation altogether. On your way back, you realise that you hid the fact that your husband was the enemy from all of The Garden without hesitation. It dawns on you that your decision to do so could cost you both yours and your husband's lives, with you branded as the very traitor you so desperately tried to avoid being named as.
You reach home earlier than he does, seeing Anya watching her cartoons, your heart aches for her. Your thoughts spiral as you think of who he works for, why he does what he does and what this means for the two of you and for Anya, what happens to this family that you've built. If he truly is part of the Red Circus, why? Is there no way to make him turn away? Just then, the bell rings and your spine straightens as you prepare yourself for what might come. Anya rushes to the door, opening it and welcoming her father with a bright smile. He smiles at her as he walks in, then proceeds to scold her for not studying like she should be.
It feels surreal, the way everything seemed normal at that moment, like nothing happened, as if the two of you did not just discover something life changing about each other a few hours ago. When he looks up and meets your eyes, his gaze lacks the usual warmth, you realise. Of course, that is to be expected and yet, why does it hurt so much? Why does him looking at you like you're a stranger pinch at your heart so bad?
Standing in front of you, Jihoon sees the anger and pain in your eyes. It makes him see his own feelings mirroring yours. He should never have hidden the truth from his team, he should have killed you the moment he realised who you were, the moment you found out who he was. Yet, here he is, standing in front of you, in this place he has called home for the past year, feeling hopeless at the mere thought of you. He questions himself again, because why does the sight of you in front of him like this feel like betrayal? Why does seeing the pain in your eyes make him feel as if his heart has been ripped apart?
Anya sees the expressions on her parents' faces and is frustrated she cannot read their minds, not knowing the reason behind their discomfort makes her upset. Seeing how your daughter seems down, you both do your best to put her to sleep since you both know you can't have this confrontation in her presence. Once Anya's asleep, the two of you step outside her room, turning around immediately, pointing weapons at each other. You smirk to yourself wryly, wondering how you ended up in this position, with a gun to your head while you point one to your husband's.
"Who are you?" Jihoon asks, that question plagued his mind throughout the day, ruining him.
"I could ask you the same." You reply, having had the same thought mess with your mind for the entire day.
Jihoon presses closer, his patience running thin as he thinks of how wrong the mission could have gone. Seeing his aggression, you push against his chest with your gun, just the thought of a possible war making the rage in you explode.
The tension in the room is so thick it could cut through mountains. You stand in place, staring at each other as if it could give you all the answers you seek. It's only when the power suddenly goes off that you realise what you were doing, neither of you pulled the trigger when you both could have done so easily. Instead, you were still, as if time stopped while you desperately search for answers in each other's faces.
With the room now pitch black, you could no longer see each other's faces causing you to be alarmed. Immediately taking a defensive position, since you now know you're enemies, both of you assume this was a situation planned by the other to eliminate you. No longer being able to use your guns without causing a commotion, you abandon them to lunge at each other like you did earlier today. Except this time, he knows you use blades and dodges your attack just as you dodge his arm trying to tackle you. As you and Jihoon continue to attack each other to no avail, you curse in your minds at how difficult it is to even land a single hit.
Right, she's always been abnormally strong, Jihoon thinks to himself. He remembers the first time you two met, no wonder I couldn't sense her presence back then, it was because she's trained to hide it. He berates himself for not questioning it sooner, for not being more cautious while observing how swift and strong you truly are in this moment.
As you continue to attack him, you too realise just how quick he is and how it seems like he can read your moves, it pisses you off more than you already are. A thought pops into your mind, I let my guard down around him to the point I never realised how strong he was. That night where you both rescued Anya from the military forces and he flew a jet saying he once had a part time job that taught him to, you believed him, you believed him. Every single time, you trusted him without hesitation. It hits you how foolish you've been, not identifying any of the signs, letting him play you for a fool and your anger surges again.
When you lunge at him harder this time, Jihoon can feel it, the raw rage behind the attack, and the shock locks him in place as you manage to tackle him to the ground. Falling on his back, Jihoon braces himself for the impact of your blade against his skin but feels none. After what feels like an hour, he opens his eyes and is met with the sight of your trembling hand holding your blade against his neck but not cutting. You had the chance to kill him but didn't, the realisation has him stunned yet again.
You, on the other hand, are struggling with the torment of your conflicting emotions. Your mind says to kill, he is a traitor, the enemy, but your heart aches at the thought of killing your husband. With your mind in turmoil, you struggle to keep your grip on Jihoon. Your body betrays your exhaustion when the blade slips from your grasp and falls to the ground. Once again, you and Jihoon are frozen in place, trying to piece the situation together. It's at that moment when the lights turn back on and you can see each other's expressions clearly. The anger, the pain, the confusion, the shock, they all mix together as you try to figure out your next step.
You both rise to your feet immediately when you hear the door opening, Anya walks out rubbing her eyes. When she sees you both standing there looking all awkward, she frowns and asks, "Mama, Papa, what are you doing here?" As you both fumble to come up with an explanation, she yawns and proceeds to go to the washroom, deciding it's just you two being your weird selves. Seeing her walk away, you both sigh in relief but immediately turn to glare at each other. It's insane how Anya makes you forget your situation, making you realise how deeply involved you both have become in this family.
Knowing Anya will come back out any moment, you both stay in place, not wanting to involve an innocent child in your affairs. Once she comes back, she uncharacteristically asks to sleep with you. Unable to refuse her, you take her to bed giving Jihoon a look that signals this is far from over. Deciding to continue this tomorrow, Jihoon moves back to his room. Anya is in deep sleep while you're wide awake, questioning how your life has turned upside down within the span of twenty four hours. Jihoon too, cannot find it in him to sleep for the second night in a row because you plague his thoughts, refusing to let his guard down.
At this point, neither of you have realised that you have not reported each other to your organisations, both assuming that you did and that your organisations assigned you to eliminate the other.
Morning comes and you are both wide awake, having not slept a wink the previous night. Knowing you have to send Anya to school, you and Jihoon pretend everything is exactly how it was yesterday, using the normalcy of your lives in this family as an excuse to avoid the inevitable. He makes breakfast while you get Anya ready, that's how everyday goes and you both try to keep it that way today too.
Anya wakes up to you gently calling her, she rubs her eyes adjusting to the morning light when she hears you think, because it hits you now, the chaos of yesterday did not allow time for you to think about it but now, looking at Anya, you wonder, what will happen to Anya if you kill Jihoon? She would be devastated, surely. You question how Anya ended up under his care, slowly starting to wonder if anything you've known was ever true. As Anya hears your train of thoughts, she pales. The very thing she's spent a year trying to prevent, her parents finding out each others' identities, has come true. You see Anya's complexion looking haggard and worry, "Anya, are you okay? Do you feel sick? Are you hurt anywhere?" However, Anya cannot hear any of your words right now. She is panicking at the thought of what this could mean to your family, terrified she'll be abandoned again.
When you see her not responding to you despite you calling her name multiple times, your insticts kick in as you yell for Jihoon. "JIHOON!" He, who was in the middle of cooking, startles to hear you cry out for him, but his body moves before his mind can catch up. He runs to the room on reflex, and when he sees Anya, he understands immediately. His daughter looks as if she saw a ghost, you explain to him that she's not responding and he can see you losing your mind over it. You've always been very cautious around Anya, taking care of her like she's made of glass, he's seen you freak out over smaller things before and he realises why you yelled out for him so desperately. You love and adore Anya and seeing her unresponsive sent you into a state of panic that he's never seen you in before. He goes over to Anya, taking her into his arms while you try your best to keep yourself from crying. He tries talking to Anya when she suddenly bursts into tears, and it stuns both of you into silence. She weeps like never before and you have no idea what caused her so much pain but it breaks you heart to see your daughter break down like that.
As she continues to sob, you and Jihoon try your best to placate her the best you can.
"What's wrong, Anya? Why are you crying?" Jihoon tries to ask but receives no reply.
"How about this? I'll make you your favorite hamburger steak tonight, okay?" He tries to calm her with food but unlike every other time, his daughter doesn't react. Seeing this, Jihoon panics because because neither of you know how to make her stop crying. Just as he's racking his brain for a solution, he hears Anya mumble.
"A-Anya's scared."
Her words confuse you, what got her so scared that she's crying so much? Did she have a nightmare? That would explain it.
"W-will you l-leave Anya?"
Her words shock you, and you immediately ask, "Why would you think that?"
"B-because y-you," Anya pauses when she remembers she can't say that she knows your identities.
"Because Mama and Papa are fighting."
You and Jihoon immediately look at each other, wondering if she accidentally saw you battling each other. No, she was asleep and neither of you made a single sound that could have woken her up. Anya watches you two, reading your thoughts as her worries increase with your reactions.
"Why do you think we're fighting?" You ask her.
"You both look so serious and scary."
Hearing her say that, you both berate yourselves for not concealing your emotions better. Even though she is probably more sensitive to the tension between you as she is attuned to living with you, if a child can sense the difference, anyone can. Immediately, Jihoon tries to reassure her that's not the case.
"We're not fighting Anya, and we won't leave you. Don't worry about it, okay?"
Even though she knows he's lying about you not fighting, she wants to trust his words of not leaving her.
She looks at you as if asking you if that's true, and you soften. "He's right Anya, we won't leave you."
It's only then that she decides to trust you both.
"Promise?"
You and Jihoon look at each other and then at her, "Promise."
She reads your thoughts and realises you mean it, she cannot undo the fact that you now know each other's identities and she knows you will probably fight each other but she can tell, neither of you plan to abandon her.
"Do you want to go to school?" You ask, wondering if she can go in this state.
Anya shakes her head, she doesn't want to leave you two alone, scared you might kill each other.
You look at Jihoon, "I can stay and take care of her."
"I want to stay with both of you." You hear Anya say.
Jihoon looks conflicted, both of you staying together and pretending everything is fine is not something either of you wish to do. He sighs, softening when he sees the look on Anya's face.
"Okay, we can stay home today. I'll make your favorite and you can watch cartoons. Will that make you feel better?"
Anya brightens, nodding with a smile when she hears your thoughts, Will we be able to convince her that we're okay? Anya makes it her mission to make you both reconcile by the end of the day.
Now that all of you are going to stay home for the day, you and Jihoon make calls to let your superiors know that you won't be coming in today. They're surprised to say the least, especially when you mention that it is because your daughter is not feeling well.
Meanwhile, Anya tries her best to think of ways to make you and Jihoon reconcile. She finds Jihoon cooking the steak as he promised and rushes over to him. She looks up at him and says the words that make his world stop, "Anya doesn't want Mama and Papa to break up."
At the moment she says these words, you walk in to the hall and pause. Sensing your presence, Jihoon looks at you and sees the conflict in your eyes. He's sure his own eyes reflect the same turmoil. How are you supposed to continue to pretend to be a couple? The betrayal you both feel is impossible to leave behind and continue with your lives.
He must have reported yesterday's incident, if he doesn't kill me, his people will probably show up to do it instead. Anya hears you think, I should have done the same, what was I thinking hiding the fact that my husband was the enemy on the field?
At the same time, Jihoon wonders how long it would take before your people decide to eliminate him if you don't. Trying to think of places where they would probably try to intercept him, he plans to avoid them all. If he is killed, his team would be in danger, not knowing who found out his identity since he did not report the situation.
Anya, having heard both of your thoughts, realises that neither of you have revealed each other's identities to anyone else. It also seems like neither of you plan to do so anytime soon. It makes her overjoyed, even more determined to make you both reconcile.
You both break out of your thoughts when you hear Anya say, "I want to watch cartoons with Mama and Papa."
As you all sit on the sofa watching her favorite cartoon, with the two of you side by side as per Anya's request, you try your best to keep calm. However, the thoughts never subside, keeping you distracted and it shows when Anya looks at you both again. She sees how hard you're trying and failing to pretend all is well.
She makes you both play games with her, eat with her and spend the day as you would before this tension arose. By the end of the day, you both have managed to convince your daughter that you're not going to abandon her but Anya goes to bed disappointed that she could not make you both reconcile. She could hear you both thinking and she knew that your argument was far from over.
Once you made sure Anya was asleep, you turn to each other just like you did the previous night, except this time, neither of you make a move to fight. Having just spent the entire day with Anya, you don't have it in you to continue your argument from last night. You and Jihoon return to your own rooms, deciding to leave it be for now. It's only when you're both lying in bed, exhausted from having not slept for the past two days along with all the emotional stress you felt, that you remember you just turned your back to your enemy. He could have killed me at that moment, I let my guard down again even after knowing what he's capable of, you realise with horror. In his room, Jihoon is struck with the same thought, I've gotten used to this life, to her, I have to be more careful. Yet, neither you nor Jihoon realise that the other did the same, that you're both equally immersed in this family you've built.
It's Wednesday morning, and this time, everything seems normal when you get Anya ready while Jihoon makes breakfast. You eat together and see Anya off, but you don't greet each other like you usually do. You have been trying to ignore each other's presence while also being hyper aware the entire morning. You both get to work, going through the day as usual while trying to fight the thoughts that threaten to plague your minds.
When you get home, you go through the same routine, ignore each other's existence while pretending nothing has changed. That night, you lie awake again, this time, your anger rising again as you think about all the signs that you missed. The time he came dripping with blood to your colleague's party, it was only your second time meeting and yet, you didn't question him. The amount of times he had "emergencies" at the hospital, when he came home with injuries and claimed he had difficult patients, now that you think about it, what psychiatrist faces so many injuries so often? You feel angry at yourself for letting yourself be tricked so easily, he didn't even bother to try to make himself less suspicious. The thought irritates you, to think he thought you so easy to fool.
Jihoon is in a very similar position, thinking of all the times he thought you were suspicious but brushed it off as nothing. The times you came home so late, your unbelievable strength, he wonders how he was so stupid. He has always been two steps ahead, he was the one who fooled others, not the other way round. Yet, you got him this time, seeing you at one of his missions standing opposite to him as an enemy was something he never even imagined could happen. He feels angry at himself for putting his people in danger, it's his fault he didn't see through you. Another thought pops into his mind that makes him sit up straight, your brother, Yuri. He's a State Security Service agent, he always thought you didn't know about his job, but now he wonders, what if you did? If you tell your brother about him, Jihoon and his entire team would be compromised. With this thought, he makes up his mind to disclose your identity to The Handler tomorrow. Not once does it cross his mind that if you truly are a criminal, there is no way you would disclose your identity to a State Security Service agent since it would put you in danger, even if he's your brother.
The next morning proceeds like every other day, but this time, you're both angry again. You go to the City Hall when one of your superiors calls you in for a meeting. You wonder if they know, and the thought makes you more anxious as you realise that you still don't want to reveal your husband's treachery. Just as you're about to ask why you were called, you hear him say, "Our sources say that the people you encountered during your last mission were not from the Red Circus." Those words make you feel relieved, so he's not a criminal. Then that leaves one option, he must work for the State Security Service, it makes sense that they would try to eliminate a spy. Just as you think this, your superior continues, "They're not from the State Security Service either, they wouldn't have bothered disguising themselves." Your confusion must have shown on your face because he clarifies, "They're most likely from WISE, Westalis' intelligence agents."
The revelation leaves you horrified, he's a spy, I married a spy in order to not be suspected as a spy. You realise how ironic the situation is, an assassin and a spy posing as a married couple to hide their identities, even from each other. You school your features, trying your best to not show your emotions in front of your boss. Our marriage was probably the shield he used to secure his identity. The rage in you intensifies, to think that you have been living with a spy, you helped this man avoid suspicion, it disgusts you.
"I'm telling you this because you should be careful, we cannot guarantee what they would do if they found out The Garden is real."
Hearing this, you don't know what to do anymore. Just as you felt relived that your husband was not a criminal, you find out he's a spy. The confirmation that he's still an enemy leaves you devastated. "We still don't know why they were there, although, it is highly likely that they were there for the same reason as we were, to protect their spy." You leave work with many thoughts, confused and horrified more than ever.
When Jihoon goes to see The Handler, he doesn't get the chance to say a thing as he is ushered into a meeting with everyone from the team that went on the last mission. With everyone there, The Handler speaks, "This is about the team you encountered during the mission. Our sources confirm they're not from the Red Circus or the State Security Service."
This statement stirs confusion among all the agents, and one of Jihoon's teammates speaks up, "They can't possibly be some random group of criminals, they were far too observant and well trained for that." Everyone agrees and The Handler continues, "You're right, they're most likely from this organisation called The Garden."
Now, that has every single person in the room stunned, "Weren't they just a myth?" Somebody questions but Jihoon is too far gone to register who it is. The revelation rings in his mind as he realises he's both relieved and utterly horrified at the prospect of his wife being part of an organisation so secretive and dangerous, no one knows any details about them. On his way home, he's dazed and overwhelmed by this new knowledge of how terrifying you truly are.
Standing in front of the door to your house, you hesitate. Unlike all these days, you now know there is a spy on the other side of this door. You know he's home, you took your time returning because you couldn't face him just yet. Just the thought of it sends shivers down your spine. You don't know what to believe anymore, despite having been trained not to trust anyone in this world, you never imagined there would be a day where that person would be your sweet husband. Not so sweet anymore, you think to yourself bitterly at the thought of his cold eyes gazing into yours.
The Red Circus were originally advocating for equality but turned to terrorism after their people were killed, their main goal is to get Ostania to acknowledge their greivances and escape to safety. You were trying to reason with yourself about why your husband would be one of their members, but now? Now you know he's a spy, he was always the enemy. You remember the times everyone around you spoke about how spies are here with no other inention but to cause war. He's going to ruin the peace in this country, he's going to do the very thing I spent my life trying to avoid. You think to yourself as the anger inside you itches to stop him, Tonight, tonight I will kill him, no matter what it takes, for Anya, for Yuri, for every innocent soul in Ostania. Determined, you open the door and walk in.
The sight that greets you has you stopping in your tracks— Anya is laughing as she runs around the house playing with Bond, your dog, and Jihoon, he's watching them with an exasperated expression on his face but you can see the fondness in his eyes that he probably doesn't realise he's showing. It makes you realise that this man, this spy, no matter what his relationship is with Anya, truly cares for her. The sight that was once so normal everyday, now has you filled with emotions so intense you can't remember why you were so angry. You cannot imagine what would happen if Anya didn't have her father around anymore, just the thought of her tears makes you question if this is the only way, you don't want to be the reason for her pain. She's so much like Yuri when we were young, what would Yuri have done if I didn't return from one of my missions? I can't do that to Anya, I just can't, but what about the other kids in this country? What of the innocent people who will lose their lives in the war? Your thoughts spiral as you try to choose between saving your family and saving your country.
Jihoon sees you standing at the door and calls out to you, "Why are you just standing there?" You look at him, the way he's acting like nothing has changed, how, just for a moment, it felt like you were back to the time before this chaos. Hearing him, Anya turns to you and runs into your arms. She seems especially happy today and you cannot help but indulge her. No matter what happens, she will always be your daughter. I love this little girl, I won't let anything happen to her. You decide that you will protect her at all costs, against anyone who dares hurt her, just like you did with Yuri. You just don't know how to protect her from the pain you will inevitably end up causing her when you kill Jihoon.
Unbeknownst to you, Anya was trying her best to make everything seem normal because she wants her parents to go back to how they were. Jihoon was trying his best to keep calm, he didn't know how to deal with this situation now that he knew you weren't a criminal. You were a lot like him, trying to keep the peace within this country, in your own way. That thought made him want to try and work this out, he didn't want to endanger his team but he also wanted to keep his family safe for the sake of his mission, or so he tells himself. He hoped he could talk to you tonight. When Anya heard her father's thoughts, it made her overjoyed and she was hopeful about keeping this family intact. When she heard you think about how much you love this family too, she was over the moon and too distracted to hear you think about killing Jihoon. She goes to sleep content with the progress between you.
Facing Jihoon, you're contemplating everything again, What if he kills me instead? What will happen if we both die? Who would take care of Anya? What about Yuri? Where would Bond go? You know there is a high chance of that happening, he's very skilled, you're both pretty much equally matched. Jihoon calls your name and when you look up at him, something's different. His eyes are not cold anymore, there's that warmth you're so used to, and that confuses you to no end. Why is he looking at me like that? Why does he look like he's not angry anymore?
Jihoon sees the confusion in your eyes, he also felt your murder intent right before he called your name. He wonders, does she know I'm a spy? Does she hate me? She probably does. Why wouldn't she? She married me because she didn't want people to mistake her as a spy. If she found out she married one, she would obviously want to get rid of me. Just as he thinks that, you lunge at him, he dodges on instinct but it pains him. He can tell you know, he can see it on your face, the raw emotions that you no longer supress, much stronger than before.
He continues to dodge your attacks, deciding to let you just take your anger out on him. You continue to strike at him with your hairpin, trying to kick him, punch him, you try everything you can. You hesitated because of Anya but when you saw him looking at you like he did before all this, you lost it. It reminded you of how he lied about everything, you don't see your lovely husband anymore, you see the manipulative monster who was planning to destroy your life and many others with a war. Nothing he can say or do will ever make you forgive him, you will never be able to trust him again. Granted, you lied to him too, but you were trying to protect the very peace he chooses to ruin. You will do whatever it takes to stop this man tonight, even if you die trying.
As time passes, you realize he has no intention of attacking you, all he's doing is dodge you and you cannot begin to comprehend why. Why does it seem like he doesn't want to hurt me? It makes no sense though, there's no way he cares, not now, not after everything that has happened. His attempts at calming you down only fuel your rage further, making you charge at him harder.
When Jihoon sees that you're not going to stop, it looks like she wants to kill me tonight, no matter what, he tries to think of how he can try to get you to hear him out. As he gets distracted by that thought for a split second, you manage to land a hit on his arm, slashing his skin with your blade and blood oozes out of his bicep. Jihoon stiffens for just a second before he just lets you be, he decides that if this is what it takes for you to calm down so you both can talk, then he's just going to let you strike him.
You, on other hand, are completely frozen at the sight of him bleeding, it causes your brain to spiral into a frenzy of thoughts of him hurting because of you. You feel a sharp tinge of pain in your chest at that, you can't hurt him, even if he's a spy, even if he ends up ruining your people, you cannot bring yourself to do it. It dawns on you that you've come to care for this man so deeply that your heart twists painfully at even just the thought of him in pain. You were planning to kill him, but how can you? When you can't even bare the slight scratch you just made on his arm?
Jihoon sees you tremble, on the verge of tears, and he's confused, why are you crying suddenly? You were so full of rage and determination just a few seconds ago, what happened? It's when he follows your gaze to his wound that he realizes why, and his heart aches at the thought of you berating yourself for hurting him.
He calls your name softly, your eyes snap to his and that's when you break, your body fails you as you fall to the ground, the weight of your emotions draining everything from you. Jihoon rushes to catch you, he holds you gently as you cry, trying to make sense of what happened and how he can comfort you.
As you cry, you register that he's holding you, so gently as if you'll break if he holds you any tighter, and you start hitting his chest with no actual strength, trying to convey how unfair this is. He lets you, he understands how you must be feeling, it kills him to know that he's reason for you current state.
After a few minutes, Jihoon hears you murmur, "Why did it have to be you?" He doesn't know how to answer, he wishes so badly that you two never met, if only he could go back in time, you would never have to face this. Taking in his silence, you question him, because you need to know, "Why do you want to start a war? Why can't we just live peacefully?" The word 'war' causes Jihoon to freeze and you feel it, when you look up at him, he looks like he's confused and terrified. You don't understand why but he speaks up before you can voice your confusion, "Who told you that?"
"Huh?"
"Who told you I wanted to start a war?"
"I-I, that's, I just heard people say that spies are here for that reason alone."
He calls your name, "Look at me," and when you look at his face, "I have no intention of starting a war, the only reason I do what I do is to prevent one from ever happening."
His words shock you, "What? How is that possible?"
He looks pained at the accusation, "I would never hurt the people like that, trust me."
Trust me, those words make it more painful for you, because how can you? You convey your thoughts to him, "How can I believe anything you say when everything about you is a lie? How do I know you're not lying to me at this moment too?"
Jihoon feels stuck, he doesn't know how he can convince you that he's not lying, he gets why you cannot trust anything he says. How did our lives come to this? When he doesn't answer, you push him away, and Jihoon just watches you move away from him. "If you can't even answer that, then there's no point in trying, please stop pretending you care." You turn to go back into your room and sleep the day off because you don't have it in you to do anything else right now.
Lying in bed, you force yourself to sleep because your body is too exhausted for you to lie awake thinking about your situation. Jihoon stays awake for yet another night, it's becoming a routine at this rate, one he's not fond of. He cannot stop thinking about your question and the lack of emotion in your eyes when he couldn't answer. He wishes he did, he wishes he could, but he stayed silent because for once, he, Twilight, did not have a plan. He needs to try again tomorrow, he cannot let this affect his mission or let this situation escalate further until his team is compromised because of his carelessness, at least that's how he reasons to himself.
Next morning, you wake up late and immediately go to get Anya ready; when you both emerge in the hall, Jihoon has set the table and is waiting for you both. You continue to ignore him, placing your attention on Anya entirely. Jihoon tries to talk to you but it becomes obvious to him that you have no intention to hear him out. Seeing this, Anya gets sad but then she hears your thoughts, how both of you just want to live your lives like you have been, and decides that this is good enough.
You get to the City Hall for work as usual when you're called in for another mission. Good, I can get my mind off everything else. "This time, the target is a small town artist." You look at your superior, confused. "He's done quite a good job at pretending that's all he is for the last five years. He's one of the leading members of the association that has been trying to stir up trouble recently. It looks like they've been preparing for a long time. We need to eliminate this group before they do any more damage to our country." Hearing that, you are determined to make sure you succeed. Thankfully, this mission manages to make you forget about your situation at home for a while.
At the WISE quarters, Jihoon is being informed of his latest mission. "The target this time is this boy you see on the screen." The Handler says pointing to the photo of a man wearing a red scarf while trying to cover his face. "He's done a good job at hiding but our agents were able to find out his whereabouts as well as capture his features well. He looks like a college student but really, he's in his thirties, that is how he cleverly evaded the authorities. Your job is to ensure that this "boy" can no longer operate his circle of criminals by tomorrow. Eliminate any point of contact he may have had with any of his members. We want them to panic, they'll make it easier for us to get rid of them. Be careful though, we don't want to risk the safety of innocent citizens." Nodding his head, Jihoon plans exactly how he's going to execute this mission.
Back home, both you and Jihoon are too occupied with the thoughts of your missions looming over your heads that Anya wonders if everything is back to normal. It feels just like before but when she senses the odd tension between you, she realises it's not, not yet at least. She can tell though, it's all going to be fine, she's seen this happen in her cartoons, so she goes to sleep content that things seem to be going well.
Friday afternoon, Jihoon is disguised and heading towards what seems like an old, narrow street. He stops when he spots him, his target. It's baffling how normal he looks, like a college student on his way home for lunch. Jihoon could just take him out right now and no one would know but the words of The Handler ring in his mind, "Eliminate all points of contact, make sure his death does not trigger his group into action." I need to map his circle, and I should be able to get this done by tonight. Jihoon thinks to himself as he trails his target for the day.
Evening rolls around by the time Jihoon has his target exactly where he wants, away from prying eyes and easy to get rid of, in an old alleyway. Just as his target takes a turn around the corner, Jihoon prepares himself to attack when he finds no one upon turning. It hits him then that this mission has been sabotaged, and these people were far more terrifying than he originally imagined. Just then, he senses a presence from behind and turn just in time to block the knife lunging at him. When he looks up, he finds the same man he followed looking at him with a murderous intent so strong, it suffocates him. Immediately, the man launches into a series of attacks that Jihoon manages to defend easily while questioning how this could have happened. There's no way he sensed me trailing him, Jihoon's eyes widen when he realises that there's only one other possibility, there is someone else who has been watching him. I let my guard down, I did not think of the possibility that there could have been another person, but the fact that I did not sense them proves that they're more skilled than we anticipated. As he berates himself for not discovering this sooner, Jihoon tries to locate the person who's helping this man in front of him. It's at that moment when Jihoon hears a shot fired and he instinctively ducks, dodging the bullet meant for him by a narrow shot. The shooter must have thought they could take him out while he was distracted with the attacks he was dealing with, Jihoon smirks to himself, how unfortunate for them, now I know where they are. Having had enough with the man's petty attacks, Jihoon swiftly knocks him out and runs into the building beside him, using the unconcious man as his shield.
Once inside, Jihoon refocuses, his mission was to eliminate this man and his circle, how convenient that the man's teammate decided to make it easier for him by showing up. Jihoon quickly disposes the man's body along with his disguise and moves to locate his partner. He identified that the shooter was seated at the rooftop of the building right opposite to the one he's currently in. Of course, he must have moved after realising he was caught, Jihoon commends them for trying but it's far too easy for him to recognise the pattern. As he rushes to get to the corner of the building where he assumes the shooter is, Jihoon stops in his tracks when he hears commotion nearby. Nobody else should be here at this time, unless, it's more of their teammates. Jihoon cannot tell if it's good or bad that he managed to encounter so many of the group at once. Deciding to deal with them later, he moves towards the shooter when he sees something flash by from the back of his eye. It stuns him in place, a blade, your blade, to be specific.
What the hell are you doing here? Jihoon realises that it really is you when he sees the shine of your blade again. He got so caught up in his thoughts that the shooter has moved again, and this time, when Jihoon sees the pattern again, he's horrified, because the shooter is moving to a position to shoot you. Jihoon cannot get there in time to stop the shooter, so he turns and runs towards where you are. It's his mission to get rid of this group but at that moment, all he can think of is you, the thought of you getting hurt is unbearable and he sprints just in time to see you finishing up with your target.
You had just eliminated your target when you see Jihoon running towards you like a madman, his sudden appearance leaves you still as you question why he's here. Why does he look like he just saw a ghost? Why is he running like that? As you stand there wondering, you both hear it, the gunshot. It hits you too late that the bullet was aimed at you, you brace yourself for the impact when you feel something push you aside and into the corner where the shooter could no longer aim. Frozen from the impact, it takes you a few seconds to process what just happened and when you look up, you find yourself in Jihoon's arms as he looks like he's also trying to compose himself after the entire fiasco. He saved me, he ran like that and pushed me aside to save me, but why? You look at him in disbelief, unable to comprehend the situation for it all happened too quickly.
Jihoon feels like his heart is going to explode, it was pumping so loud when he was running to get to you in time and it stopped for a second when he thought he was too late, and now, it's racing again but with relief, relief that you're alive. He scans your form to see if you're okay when he spots blood and panics; the bullet had managed to scrape your arm, "You're hurt", he says as he finally sees the look on your face. He can see that you're confused and shocked, but the haze behind your eyes worries him. He calls your name, "Look at me, please."
While trying to understand what happened, you feel your head spin, but when you hear his desperate plea, you look up at him, trying to let him know that you're okay. You can feel the symptoms, the bullet was laced with toxins, probably to make the person weak and take longer to recover. You convey this to Jihoon, "I'll be fine, it was just a graze, I just feel a little dizzy, it's not going to do anything to me." Even as you assure him, you cannot stop thinking of why he saved you or why he is so concerned at this moment, even if he didn't want to kill me himself, there was no need for him to save me, more so by running like that, and so desperately.
Jihoon, not so convinced by your words, opens his mouth to argue when you both sense it, someone is coming. Right, the shooter is still out there, but wait, there's no way they would make a move like this, so direct. It hits Jihoon that this is someone else, shit, there are more of them. Why now? While he's thankful he gets to eliminate this group at once, the situation is different now, you're injured and he cannot focus with you like this.
You can see Jihoon's train of thoughts on his face, how have I never realised he wears his emotions so obviously? Or maybe it is just because he's distracted right now. "Focus, Jihoon." Hearing your words, his eyes sharpen, and the Twilight everyone heard about was back. Without another sound, he moves you towards the small alley nearby, "Don't move, please just stay safe." You're about to retort that you can take care of yourself just fine when your head spins again, reminding you of your current state. When you stay silent, Jihoon takes it as you agreeing with him and turns to go deal with these criminals.
You watch as he puts on another mask and walks into the building, hidden from your place where no one can see you. You see Jihoon swiftly deal with the man who was trying to sneak up on the two of you earlier. Even thought you knew he was a spy, watching him in action makes it all surreal, he is scarily calm and unnervingly smart. His cunningness showing when he tricks one of the other men into leaving his safe position by pretending to be his teammate. A shiver runs down your spine, this is the man you've been married to for a year, the man you've been living with, this man who is eliminating a group of armed men with an ease that only comes with experience, the same man who looked rattled at the thought of you bleeding from a graze. Your heart is filled with mixed emotions as you realise this is far more complicated than it should be.
Just then, you spot the shooter again, only this time, you see another one, opposite to where the one who shot you is positioned. Jihoon knows about only one of them, this second one has just arrived from the looks of it and the thought terrifies you, Jihoon does not know. He doesn't know there's another shooter, he's dealing with multiple criminals— he's vulnerable, you can't even scream for him to hear you because he's too far. Desperate and full of adrenaline, you run towards him when you see this shooter aim. There are no other thoughts in your mind except saving Jihoon as you sprint with all your might and this brings everyone's attention to you.
You cannot reach him fast enough due to the toxins slowing your body so you scream, "There's another shooter to the far left on the opposite side, run!" Just as you finish your sentence, it all explodes, bullets start raining from both sides with the targets being you and Jihoon. Thanks to your warning, Jihoon manages to avoid them and runs into the next street while you hide in the building nearby. With the two of you now separated, Jihoon curses himself for not being able to protect you. You left your safe position to warn him because he did not see the other shooter, it was because of him. You put yourself in danger for him. He cannot just stand there and keep pretending to be okay when he knows you clearly aren't.
He feels his rage grow, towards himself for missing so many signs, at you for putting yourself in danger when you were already injured and at these idiots for trying to hurt you, he moves with more aggression this time, and puts everyone who's in his way down as he searches for you desperately. One of them lunges at him with a knife, stupid, Jihoon thinks to himself, he can see the gun attached at the man's waist, he should have used that instead, oh well, let me teach you before you die. Jihoon blocks the man's pathetic attempt at stabbing him and twists the knife out his opponent's hand, breaking the man's wrist in the process. Jihoon kicks him in the stomach and pulls out the gun he saw earlier and shoots the man in the forehead. He proceeds to use that body as his shield from the shooters while using the gun he acquired to take the others out.
On the other side, you feel your body sway but still better than before and decide to look for Jihoon. You're about to step out of the building when you hear a menacing laugh and you turn around to see a woman looking at you like you're stupid to even try. "Well, well, well, what a damsel in distress we have here. What do you think you can do out there, hm? Oh, is that man your partner?" When you don't reply, she continues, "Or is he your lover? You did run to save him, hm, how stupid. Do you really think you both can leave this place alive? That dumb lanky man is probably already dead by now. Didn't you hear the rain of bullets and screams?" Hearing those words, you glare at her and she smirks, "That hit a nerve, huh? Interesting, but oh well, unfortunately for you, you'll never see your man again, you'll die here now." She snickers, "You both will die here in our hands, maybe you'll see each other in the after life. How romantic, isn't it?" As she finishes, she aims her pistol at you, ready to shoot when a blade hits her palm that is holding the gun and a loud scream echoes in the walls of this abandoned building. She was so busy mocking you that she didn't see you taking your blade out to strike her. Watching her crumble to her knees holding her bleeding palm, it's your turn to walk to her as you speak, "The number one rule when fighting is to never, and I mean never, take your eyes off the opponent. Overconfidence like yours will get you killed within seconds, like now." You end your sentence as you slit her throat with your blade. Blood splatters all over the floor as you turn, determined to bury these criminals underground.
Stepping out, you're immediately attacked by two more people, one lunging at you with with his bare fists while the other was holding a knife. Having anticipated this, you swiftly slide across them in a narrow second making them hit each other instead. Without giving them a chance to recover, you take your blades and slash their throats in one go. This has gotten a lot more bloody than I was expecting, you look at the blood splashed everywhere from all the bloodshed, cleaning up is going to be quite tedious, you sigh, moving onto the next enemy who's charging at you from behind.
Jihoon, on the opposite side of the building you took shelter in, is barging his way through the hoard of bullets by shielding himself with the same man's body when a certain thought makes his blood go cold, why and how are so many of them here? It's like a planned ambush with the way they're positioned, his senses sharpen when he realises there's only one possibility, there's a mole, either from your side or mine. He moves faster, determined to get to you, he refuses to think of the possibility that you're dead, no, she's strong, she can handle these pests, but wait, she's poisoned, a groan resonates from his throat, she'll be okay, she has to be. He keeps repeating those words in his mind as he fight off more of these pests.
You have moved further enough to be in the shooters' line of sight again and this time, you're prepared—you turn to their positions and glare, challenging them to try. Knowing that you've just hurt their egos, you sprint down the alley to get to those shooters, skillfully avoiding their rage of bullets. You step inside the building they're in and look around to see what looks like an old warehouse. You can sense that there are about five of them around, waiting like hyenas for you to step into their trap. They don't seem to realise that you can sense them, I was so distracted that I didn't even sense these people when I first got here, no wonder they have such confidence, well, good for me. You decide to play into their game, let them think they have the upper hand and that you don't know they're waiting, it's going to be easier to deal with them one by one anyway.
Unbeknownst to you, Jihoon has also entered the same warehouse from the other side, there's no one around, but that makes no sense, there's no way they wouldn't have stationed people to protect the shooters. After thoroughly checking and confirming that there really is no one, Jihoon strides towards the stairs to head up to his targets. He hears footsteps rushing down the stairs like they're in a hurry, confused but alert nonetheless, Jihoon takes a defensive position before deeming it better to attack first instead. He waits for the first person to come down before tackling them down with his arm, he swiftly gets rid of them one by one before making his upwards.
Reaching the rooftop, Jihoon can sense the ominous atmosphere—the fact that they have remained here waiting for me proves that they're good with close combat and prepared for it. Taking his own gun out this time, he moves carefully, trying to locate his enemies. He makes eye contact with one of them and in the next moment, bullets fly all over the place while he engages in a battle with the woman. She cannot land a single hit on Jihoon but he's just as frustrated since he hasn't been able to take her down either. Jihoon and the shooter both run out of ammunition and the place is eerily silent when Jihoon remembers that the other shooter hasn't made their presence known but is still very much present. Alert and momentarily unarmed, Jihoon loads his gun quickly while continuously looking over his shoulder for any attacks.
Just as he turns to continue the fight, he hears footsteps, it is you, he can tell from the corner of his eye that your blade is targeting the other shooter, who is now busy trying to fend you off. Relieved that you're okay but horrified that you're fighting a man with a gun with just your blades, Jihoon refocuses on defeating this shooter first so he can get to you in time. He just hopes you don't get hurt until then. Thankfully, the woman he was fighting was distracted with reloading her own gun to attack him while he was distracted by your sudden appearance. She launches into her previous position, determined to shoot him this time but Jihoon had figured out her pattern by now—she moves quick, he'll give her that but the pattern is too obvious to his trained eye, he can tell exactly which position she'll take next and that is enough for him to land a shot straight to her heart, leaving her bleeding to death.
Jihoon confirms her death before whipping around to see you slicing throught the man's chest and he watches as the shooter falls to the ground clutching his bleeding chest before his breath stops. For a moment, there's nothing but silence as you both take in the fact that it's over, and when your eyes meet, it's like your feet have their own mind—Jihoon's legs move of their accord as he rushes towards while and you do the same. You crash into Jihoon's chest as he holds you like he never wishes to let go. You just stay like that for a few moments before moving just enough to look at his face. Jihoon brings his hand up to your face, holding you so gently and the look on his face so fond, "Thank goodness, you're safe." He leans forward until your foreheads touch and it is in that moment that you feel it, he never lied about caring, he always did. The next second, the words are flying out of your mouth before you even realise what you're saying, "I trust you, Jihoon." Jihoon freezes, looking up at you with wide eyes as if he cannot believe what you just said. Realising how abrupt that was, you're about to explain when Jihoon responds, "Thank you for trusting me," he calls your name making you look into his eyes, "I'll explain everything to you, I promise, I don't want to hide from you anymore." Hearing his words, you nod, "I don't wish to hide from you either."
The sound of a dog barking brings you both back to your senses, realising where you are, you look around at the bloody scene before making eye contact and you both shake you heads as a small smile takes up your faces. Despite the circumstances, at least you both now know that things are going to be okay, that you can work this out together.
After ensuring that you eliminated all the members of the group, you and Jihoon split up to go report the unforeseen massacre that occurred. With both of you choosing to conceal the fact that you met on the field, you inform your organisation about the entire incident, mentioning that there was someone else but they were also there for the same mission and were skilled enough to escape from you—of course, Jihoon matches you word to word when reporting to The Handler.
You reach home earlier than Jihoon, seeing Anya already asleep because you were late. Did she even eat anything for dinner? You worry before you spot a sticky note with Jihoon's writing, "I might be late tonight so I made some dinner and put it in the fridge, heat it up and eat it if I'm not home on time." That brings a smile to your face, he's always so attentive, you open the fridge to see that Anya has eaten her portion and you hear your stomach protest with hunger. You heat up a plate of food for yourself and sit down at the dining table, as you take a bite, tiredness finally hits your body. You continue to eat while thinking over everything that happened today, and just as you start to feel concerned about why Jihoon is not back yet, the door opens and he's home.
Jihoon opens the door to find you looking up at him in the middle of taking a bite of the casserole he made this morning and the sight has him so endeared that he automatically smiles, relaxing, because this is home. You startle at the sudden smile, he looked so unbelievably fond at that moment that you choke on the food in your mouth. Seeing you cough violently, Jihoon rushes to get you a glass of water, "Here, slow down, please be careful." Embarrassed, your entire face turns red as you chug down the glass of water he gave you. Jihoon just chuckles, finding you utterly adorable.
Setting your glass down, you tell him, "I heat up some for you too, it's in the microwave." Thanking you, Jihoon gets his own dinner and sits down across you as you both eat in comfortable silence. It's funny how so much has changed in just a few hours—here you are, sitting face to face and eating so peacefully when this morning, neither of you could look at each other properly because of the tension between you.
After putting your dishes away, you and Jihoon settle on the sofa with one thought, we need to talk. "Let me start first, I want to clear the misunderstanding you have regarding spies." Jihoon says, looking at you for permission to tell you his side of things. When you nod, Jihoon smiles and continues, "I know what people say and I know that the government makes it seem like we're here to start a war but trust me when I say this, we are not. The last thing I want is a war, I lost my family to one when I was a child and I do what I do to ensure nobody else has to go through that." That sentence breaks your heart, making you feel guilty for accusing him of the very thing that caused him so much pain. "I was young, I was out playing with friends when it happened, both my parents were killed and I had nowhere to go. I became a soldier to survive and years later I met with the friends I thought I lost that day, only for them to be sent on a mission and die in war too. I decided then that I was going to stop this, I have to do whatever it takes to keep this peace because I don't want any more innocent people to die in the aftermath of political issues."
He pauses when he sees your expression and slowly reaches his hand out towards your cheek, it's only after he wipes the tear off your cheek that you realise you were crying. Hearing him talk about his past and his reasons made you think of your own, how all you ever wanted was to protect your family and the thought brought you to tears without realising. "I'm sorry," you hear him say and look up in confusion, because why is he apologising? "I'm sorry I deceived you, I'm sorry you had to find out like that and I'm sorry you suffered so much because of me." God, if he keeps saying things like that, you're only going to feel even more guilty. "It's not your fault, and besides, I deceived you too." Hearing that, something in Jihoon softens, and he just rubs the back of your hand in comfort.
"It's my turn to explain things, I was young when I started this line of work too, it was just Yuri and me so I had to make money to survive. The reason I took up this job and continue to do it is because I want to keep my brother safe, I want him happy and living a comfortable life. I've been doing my best to keep this peaceful life we've built so I hate it when I see someone who wants to destroy that. It's why I was so angry when I thought that you were one of those people." Jihoon understands everything now, the rage in you that wouldn't subside, the despair he saw in your eyes the night he tried to talk to you, it all makes sense now, and his heart aches for you.
"That day, at the airport, why were you there?" When he hears your question, he looks into your eyes so you can see that he's being sincere, "I was there to protect Maya. You were there for the same reason, weren't you?" You nod in answer, relieved that your assumptions were true. "To think I assumed you were part of Red Circus, I hated you at the time. I hated you for being a criminal, I hated you for wanting to cause harm to citizens and I hated that it was you." Your words hit him like a knife to the heart but he knows it cannot be helped, after all, he thought the same. "I thought the same, although I could not figure out why in the world you would be part of something like that." This time, you look at Jihoon with earnestly, "I don't anymore though, hate you, I mean." You can see the man physically melt at your words and it's so endearing.
"I never hated you, I could never, even when I thought you were a criminal, it's like my heart could not bear the thought of hating you, I was just angry at myself. I'm not telling you this because I blame you but because I want you to know that you have occupied so much of my life that I just cannot think straight. So please, don't blame yourself for feeling what you did, I would have hated me too if I were in your place. You married me because you didn't want people to think of you as a spy, so I cannot imagine how you felt when you found out I was one." Tears stream down your face as you take in what he said, even now, he's worried about how I feel. Jihoon stills when you suddenly wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He can feel your tears drenching his shirt and he just holds you, rubbing your back and patting your head, trying his best to comfort you.
After what feels like an hour, you move away enough to look at him, "So, what now? How do we proceed from here?" Jihoon's eyes suddenly widen and it scares you, "What's wrong?" He remembers now, The Garden, how are you going to deal with them? "How long did your organisation give you to get rid of me? When do you think they'll send other people to do it instead? Wait, would they come after you too if you don't do it?" Seeing him ramble, you interrupt him, "I didn't tell them." It's as if the world stopped the moment you uttered those words, Jihoon turns to you slowly, "What did you say?"
"I said, I didn't tell them."
"What? Why?"
"I couldn't bring myself to."
He knows what that means, he knows what you felt and that is enough to render him speechless.
"What about your people though? Won't they take action too?"
He hears you ask him, "I didn't tell them either."
You look at him surprised and before you can ask him why, he says, "I couldn't bring myself to either."
There's complete silence for a couple of seconds before you both chuckle, "I guess we were both worried for nothing." You shake your head, "So what? Do we just continue our lives like before? Keeping our identities secret?"
Jihoon shrugs, "Well, it's not going to be the same since we know what we do now and I think you too figured out that there'e a mole, but we can try. If you want to, of course."
You smile, "Yeah, I want to, I want to care for you and I want you to care for me."
You remember the last time you fought, "You know, in between, I was so terrified for Anya, I questioned myself if killing you was the only choice because I didn't want to cause her the pain of losing her father. When I think about it now though, I think that was just an excuse, I mean yes, I didn't want to do that to her but I also couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I just didn't want to admit that to myself at that point. I also questioned how she ended up in your care, but then I got home that day to see you looking at her so adoringly that I could tell you cared and that was enough for me."
"You have no idea how grateful I am that you gave me a chance, thank you for trusting me." Jihoon says with a wide smile on his face.
"And thank you for caring and staying." You reply with the same lovesick smile on your own face.
"It's not going to be easy though, if we end up crossing paths like this often, it will get harder to keep this from our teams." You're right, Jihoon gets serious again listening to your concerns.
"It certainly won't but we now that we know, at least we won't be caught off guard." His reasoning makes sense, and it calms you a little.
He calls your name, "I care for you, I want to stay by your side, and I love you. I think I have loved you for a while now, I just didn't realise it until those feelings were put to test like this. These past few days have been hell for me, I don't think I can see you go through such pain ever again so I'll try my best to protect our family. I need you to know this, not because I want you to love me too but because I want you to know that I will always be here, always."
You feel your heart race at his confession, never would you have imagined Jihoon to say something so profoundly emotional and yet, here you are. You think back to all the times you had the chance to end this, to leave him but you didn't, because I couldn't. Your life has always been chaos, you only ever had Yuri and although you love your brother to bits, you never realised how lonely you had been until Jihoon and Anya came into your life. You life is still chaos but there's something special to it now, your adorable daughter brings mischief and adoring husband brings calm that you will never let anyone take from you.
So, when you see Jihoon looking at your intertwined hands and shaking, you know that you love this man as much as he does you. "Jihoon, look at me," his head snaps up so quick you crack a small smile, "You're a fool, a naively annoying fool if you think, for even a second, that I'm not hopelessly in love with you too." Jihoon's eyes water and you squeeze his hand as if to say that you're right there. "I lived a life revolving around my job and when my brother grew up, I would come home to feeling empty because I had nothing to do. Now, I look forward to coming home to you cooking and Anya running around the living room because something that simple brings me immense joy that I cannot even begin to describe. The reason why I felt so betrayed and hurt was because I was already in too deep, you're my family and nothing will change that."
You just barely finished your sentence when you feel Jihoon's hand come up to the back of your head as he crashes his lips onto yours. You can feel the weight of his emotions as he kisses you so deeply yet holds you so gently as if afraid he would hurt you otherwise. You still for a moment before reciprocating his passion as you kiss him back, no longer holding back. You break apart, panting for air as you slowly open your eyes to find Jihoon already looking at you. "I love you." You lean in to gently kiss him, "I love you more."
"Anya loves Mama and Papa." You both startle as you see Anya standing at the door of her bedroom and smiling at you, you were so absorbed in your emotions that neither of you heard her come out. You squeak as you break away from Jihoon, feeling embarrassed that your daughter just saw you kissing and see from the corner of your eye that Jihoon has turned red too. "Anya, why are you up? You should be sleeping." Although he tries to sound stern, his voice gives him away and Anya starts laughing as she runs into your arms. "Anya is so happy that mama and papa are happy."
You're overwhelmed again and when you look at Jihoon, you know he feels the same. Anya jumps up on the couch when she suddenly glares at Jihoon. You see him panic, it's so obvious on his face, "Why is papa not hugging us?" He softens and comes to wrap his arms around both of you as you stay cuddling together until your daughter falls back asleep.
When you hear Anya snoring, Jihoon carefully takes her into his arms and tucks her into bed. You watch him as you think to yourself, he's always been Anya's safe space and he's become mine too, remembering the time you broke down in his arms even when you thought he was the enemy. It wasn't because you were exhausted or let your guard down but because you find sense in his presence. This man, your husband, is the partner you never knew you needed but are grateful to this universe to have brought him to you.
Jihoon turns around to see you staring at him with blatant adoration and something about the way you don't hold back anymore makes him weak in the knees. He walks to you, "Why are you staring at me like that?"
"Seeing you tuck our daughter to sleep just makes me feel so soft and warm, I couldn't help it."
Jihoon stutters for a second before he smiles at you teasingly, "Do you want me to tuck you in too?"
He watches your eyes go wide as you blush and he thinks to himself that you look absolutely breathtaking right now. He tells you as much, "I need to see you like this more often."
Your eyes narrow as you glare at him though he just finds your sulking adorable, he can see you pouting and it makes him chuckle. You cannot possibly let him have all the fun, "You'll need to try harder for that. How about starting with tucking me in like you suggested? Or even better, lay with me and hold me like you did earlier." You don't know what made you feel so bold but the way Jihoon blushes makes it all worth it.
You were joking when you asked him to hold you to sleep but you did not realise how whipped your husband is for you. Jihoon would do anything for you, and so you lay in his arms as he hums softly, content and warm. Sleep hits you slowly as you both fall asleep with the same thought in your heads, We're family, we always will be, and we'll do whatever it takes to protect our home, starting with getting rid of that mole.
it was a treat to betaaaaaa mayyyyyy I am so proud of you babyyyy 🥺 I've told you before but anya really is my favourite character in the whole fic she's my babygirl 😭😭 I think I've screamed about it enough in the dms, the angst had me hollering around and hanging on for my dear life, the sigh of relief I let out after the actually talked and not sent each other over the dead end is something incomparable sooo looking forward to the next part hehehehe.
I hope this year's treating you well!! Well, today I'm dropping by to tell you how all that I love about between us. This will probably get long(and basically just me reacting to most scenes) because I yap a lot.
First off, actor seokmin, letsgoooooo, i really love when he's portrayed as an actor because man is sooooo good at it.
The friend group with seokmin, shua, chan and sujin is perfect because like seoksoo as your best friends is just sweet lovely boys around you and im here for it.
Seokmin swooning over his costar is the cutest thing ever like pls, that's my baby.
The way they tell her she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to, they really are the best group of friends.
Gyu's post making her agree he is a walking thirst trap is so funny because yes, that man's feed is literally that. (Have i said how much I like the way you write mingyu? No? Well, I hope this ask makes it clear.)
Daniela and sujin being supportive bestie in multiple occasions, I love them so much.
The highlight is certainly her seeing him and thinking he was worse than a walking thirst trap, WHEN I TELL YOU I GENUINELY SCREAMED "EXACTLYYY" AT THAT SCENE.
Moving on to the fact that he knew she was uncomfortable and changed the topic,
He knew she wouldn't call him again, THAT MANNN. (Stem major gyu becoming a chef, he really is just perfect huh.)
The way he keeps thinking of haeun at every point of conversation made me feel so sad, gotta say i kinda did hate him for comparing her to haeun😐
Gyu driving her home and convincing her into fake dating him, like my guy, what?!?!?!
Proceeds to tell her to start by giving him her number, its genuinely not fair. On top of that, he gives her his hoodie cuz he doesn't want her to freeze just cuz he kept her outside and also cuz its a good start? Let me smack this man real quick(I'm swooning)
Seokmin calling her screaming into the phone asking her out to lunch to hear about her date had me laughing so hard because that's exactly how i imagine he would be as a chaotic friend. Her suggesting to go gyu's restaurant for their lunch, girl, you down bad already(me too).
Seokmin the gossip bestie, ahhhh , genuinely love his character(atp i feel like im swooning over him more than gyu but that's just cuz hes so fucking cute).
At his restaurant, gyu's voice being calm despite the chaos, fuck, I love me a man who's calm. Him giving her the same champagne she had during the date, the little things kill me. I genuinely don't think me writing this down shows how Im actually reacting to it because I am screeching and squealing and rolling around and losing my mind(this is me after ive reread for the 3rd time btw).
The scenes with the girls, aecha and minjee were so cuteee.
SEOKMIN ASKING TO BE HER MAID OF HONOR, AGAIN, THIS IS WHY I ADORE HIS CHARACTER, HES SO SILLY.
Her texts with gyu are so fucking sweet, I feel so single good lord. Cheol, wonwoo and chan being Gyu's annoying ass friends is so fun.
"She has less clothes on the you", wonwoo my man, god I love him.
Cheol just keeps flirting,l and all i can think is "can I not be in her position?"😭
Chan is such a green flag, talking to sujin and telling her she might have pushed her into something she wasn't ready for🤌
The way gyu keeps asking sujin for advice but also feels bad because its not real, my heart broke into pieces, like boy, get your shit together.
Sujin wanting them to help each other out and heal rach other, I love her man, shes such a sweetheart.
Gyu being drunk and calling her at 3 in the morning and them having a comfortable and easy conversation, and yet they're "pretending"?!?!?!?
Shua and Veronica are so cuteee why are all the couples in this so sweet?!?!?!
Soekmin scared to ask his crush out made me scream into the void because making LEE SEOKMIN NERVOUS?!?!?! My turn whennn
I have to say, I love the friendship dynamics, how they're always teasing but are also always supportive and soft.
Right, the fact that she prefers texting but doesn't mind calling when it comes to him, I need to stop screaming every time I think of a scene.
Gyu knowing how to braid hair because of his sister and doing it for her, my heart is melting, they're so domestic and soft and lovely and cute and ahhhhhhhh.
My girl ends up thinking sujin was right and that he might have the kindest soul she's ever seen, THATS KIM MINGYU FOR YOU. Like, he gets her flowers and wants to do the date right, i had to close the app to calm myself down.
Gyu thinking she's so pretty but thinking of haeun again, I needed to close the app and ca down for a different reason💀.
Her telling him she has pepper spray on their date and him playing along, my brain just went, in reality that would be genuinely fucking scary, smh.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVED that he made the date about her, she deserved that.
Gawd, the bowling scene, they're so cute.
Her inner thoughts tells how toxic her ex was and is wanted to punch the guy.
The way she was questioning why they were on the date, totally valid because that is unfair. He proceeds to take pictures and posts them too, like, I was so frustrated by this point.
Her only relationship being toxic made my heart ache for her.
I cried when she opened up to him about being jealous of chan and sujin and he comforted her and then went home thinking bowling was one of her best dates.
Her thanking sujin and Sujin feeling happy for her had me emotional.
I hate haeun, anf a toxic relationship for 5 years?!?!?! No wonder my boy was struggling.
Gyu inviting her to Basketball with his friends and her thinking hannie reminds her of sujin, they really are very similar.
When shr starts wondering if gyu thinks abt haeun when he's with her made me feel devastated, whyyyyy
The hansol and star wars ref🥰
"You're dating a star baby" NOW WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU ATTACK LIKE THAT?!?!?! Her reaction is so real.
I jate that she was constantly being compared to haeun, poor girl.
You can see the impact of their toxic relationships in their reactions when the other behaves differently from their toxic ex, you nailed that.
Their confusing feelings and them wanting to deny it😭
Her insecurities after seeing haeun was just sad, but I get why she felt that way.
Gyu bringing her flowers and breakfast, apologising and saying that he hates fighting with friends, yeah sure, "friends" that's why you got her flowers?!?!?!?!
Sujin is me when she asked her if it was real and freaking out when he speaks.
The longer they keep pretending the worse it gets, it breaks them and makes them long for love😢
Her puppy eyes not working on him but his makes it impossible fot her to say no?!?!?! THATS SO UNFAIR HE SHOULD NOT BE IMMUNE TO HERS!!!
The nightly calls, flowers and chocolates, it was never really fake, nuh uh.
What wouldn't she doesn't for him atp, she ends up going to the gym, and he makes her feel comfortable. Him feeling proud and thinking that's my girl, AGAIN I WAS SCREAMING HELL YEAHHH.
Gyu being all jealous and protective, boy makr it official already.
Working out with gyu is not for the weak hearted, I would never survive.
I adore her love for reading and when he asks her abt it?! It's a done deal, sealed and sailed.
Gyu talking abt her all the time and even texting about her, I love that he is so whipped.
The smut-he was so sweet and soft, and i loved how much it meant to them.
Then next day she sees him with haeun and all hell break loose, I remember how I felt so betrayed when i first read this part.
Im glad shr finally tells her friends everything and all of them are supportive friends who are there for her.
I especially love chan, cannot help it.
Gyu not knowing what happened and just bringing her food, i am just sobbing because what else can I do, really?
The kids comforting her, awwww, i loved her dynamics with them, proves just how good she is.
When gyu says he hasn't been pretending since the first time they held hands, I JUMPED UP FROM MY BED AND SQUEALED BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT!!!
The bitchass ex show8ng up, THE AUDACITY?!?!? MAY THE WORLD BE RID OF ASSHOLES LIKE THAT. Shua calling gyu to help her and the way he gets so angry hearing abt chun, why is that hot?
Him saving her anf saying "Don't touch my girl ever again" WHY HELLO SIR
I feltso relieved when they cleared up all the misunderstandings, opened up to each other and were finally honest, made me feel so proud, they came and long way.
Their "real" date at the theater with the movie being explicit and menace gyu being filthy in public, that was so hot like seriously. The I love you's were so sweet and Im so attached to these characters that I was so happy. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions reading it and writing this too.
Anywhooo, this is me signing off, hope you have a lovely birthday my loveeee.
(Spoiler: I have teeny little surprise for your birthday coming soon, I hope you like it.)
Lots of love,
May
i've been keeping this message in my inbox simply because I wanted to cheerish it alone but let me take my time to answer now <3
First and foremost, thank you for loving between us so much adgakd I still can't believe I managed to finish it.
actor seokmin 🙏 he has it in his blood
which is also why I want to write a story for him in the same universe as well
I love their friendships so much, they are seriously adorable
green flag mingyu being the best boyfriend material >>> you know I had the time of my life writing him
we do hate haeun in this house yes, chun as well
I fear I put everything I love into this story, really. All the scenes, the tropes, and emotions, it was how I like my stories.
You know this already, but I was so giddy reading this for the first time and I still am. Thank you so so much for loving Between Us like I do, I hope to bring more great stories your way in the future <3
Pairing: Fake!boyfriend!Jake x Fem!Reader x Rival!Heeseung
Warnings: love triangle, cursing, fake dating, cheating(not mcs), eventual smut, angst(more to be added as the story proceeds)
Summary: You decide to fake date Jake to get your ex to back off but what happens when you find out he's your rival's best friend? What happens when Heeseung starts to question your "relationship" with Jake? Will your ruse come tumbling down or will you get your happy ending?
a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVEEEEE @jakedustry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This whole idea came to me when I started wondering what I should write for your birthday. I hope you'll like it. This part is more like the beginning of the story so there's not much happening and it's short(just around 2k) because life's a bitch and won't let me write as much as I want to. Also, this is not proofread so I don't know if it's good. Anywhoooo, back to the topic, this is my first enha fic and I'm obviously dedicating it to my fav enha writer on tumblr. Once again, I hope you have a lovely birthday izzy :)
It has been two weeks since you broke up with your boyfriend(well, ex now) after you found him cheating on you. You were sitting at one of the tables at your university cafeteria sipping on your precious boba while listening to your friends tell you about how you should try dating someone else.
"The best way to get over that asshole is to-"
You interrupt Lia, "get under someone else, babe, I've heard you say that a thousand times already, I get it."
"Well, I keep repeating it because you have not done anything except mope."
You glare at her, "I am not moping."
Her deadpan expression makes you shrink, "Babe, he doesn't deserve you moping because of him and you need to do something to get rid of that pest."
She's right, you see, your ex boyfriend was not only a cheating asshole, he was also shameless enough to continue to pester you to "get you back" and yet, he hasn't even bothered apologizing to you. Not that you would take him back if he did, it just pisses you off that he thinks he can just barge back into your life after all that.
Just as you're lost in your thoughts, Mari, your other friend, who has been silent this entire conversation suddenly speaks up, "How about him?" She points at the boy sitting at a table opposite to yours, chatting with his friends.
As you follow her line of sight, your eyes widen, "Jake Sim?"
"Yeah, why not? I heard he's an absolute sweetheart and that he's currently single. He's really cute too."
You look at your friends in disbelief, "Are you serious? It's barely been two weeks since I broke up with Jinho."
"Exactly, its already been two weeks, so get yourself out there girl, it's not like you were in a very serious relationship in the first place. It's also the best solution, if that pest sees you with Jake, he will back off, unless he's stupid to pick a fight that he will lose."
Hearing her words, you start to think that actually makes sense, "Fine."
Lia's eyes widen, "What?"
"I'll go talk to him." You say ad you get up and walk towards the table where Jake's seated.
It's your friends' turn to now watch in disbelief as you make your way to the boy they just convinced you to date.
The closer you get to the group of boys, the more you regret your decision to do this but you're not a quitter and you have a plan. When you stop at their table, the boys pause as they look at you, curious as to why you were there. You look at Jake, "Hi."
Jake blinks for a second before responding, "Hey. Can I help you?"
You mentally curse at yourself as you process how insane this is, "Actually, I was hoping to talk to you? In private?"
You hear the oohs from Jake's friends around you but you keep your eyes on Jake, hoping this won't get any more embarrassing than it already is.
Jake can see the fear in your eyes and he softens despite being confused about what brought this over, "Sure, yeah."
As he gets up, you panic because you weren't really expecting him to say yes and now you have to figure out what exactly you're going to say to him.
Having a plan my ass, I really need to stop doing stupid shit. As you both walk to the balcony for some privacy, Jake watches you with curious eyes, but when you stay quiet, he speaks, "So what brought this up?"
You flinch, not expecting him to start the conversation but then again, he probably has no idea why you brought him out here.
"Okay this is going to sound very abrupt and random but I'm just going to ask you. Can you please be my boyfriend?"
Of all things that you could have said, he was not expecting that. You see him frozen with wide eyes and you fumble to explain yourself.
"I'm so sorry, I should have explained what I meant from the start."
Hearing your words, Jake raises an eyebrow, " So you don't mean that you want me to be your boyfriend?"
"No, I mean yes, but no."
You let out a groan, god this is so embarrassing.
"You understand why I'm confused, don't you?"
You nod, trying to put your thoughts into words and when he sees you panicking, he tries to reassure you. "Hey, it's okay, calm down and explain it to me. Take your time."
Thankful for his understanding, you take a deep breath as your brace yourself for what you're about to say.
"You probably heard about my breakup recently right? The rumour was everywhere."
Jake nods, everyone knew after all.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
You flash him a grateful smile, "Well, the thing is, my ex has been pestering me about getting back together and he just won't let me be. My friends thought it would be best if I dated someone else to get him to back off and well, one thing led to another and here I am."
"Ahh, so that's why you came to me. I would agree with your friends but isn't it sad to be with someone just to get your ex to leave you alone?"
"Exactly, which is why I just want you to pretend to be my boyfriend."
Jake's eyebrows raise, "As in, fake dating?"
"Yes."
As Jake thinks about it, you start to worry because really, he doesn't have anything to gain from this and just as you're trying to rack your brain to think of an idea to convince him, you hear him, " Okay."
Your head snaps up so quick you think you might have just strained your neck. "Wait, what?"
Jake chuckles,"Why are you so shocked? You're the one who asked."
"Yes, well, I wasn't expecting you to agree. So quickly, at that."
His head tilts and his eyebrows furrow as he questions, "What made you think so?"
"Well, for one, you don't have anything to gain and this is all so abrupt and we're practically strangers and it's all so weird and-"
"Woah, woah, calm down." He interrupts your rambling and you look down at the ground as you close your eyes, feeling extremely embarassed.
He sees you trembling and tilts your chin up with his fingers to make you look at him, "You're wrong, by the way."
You blink at him, "Huh?"
"I do get something out of this, I wouldn't have agreed to it otherwise."
"And what's that?"
"My friends have been trying to set me up for god knows what reason considering most of them are single too but I'm genuinely tired of having to go on blind dates only to return disappointed that there was just no spark. So being your boyfriend, well, fake boyfriend, will get them to give me a break too."
"Oh." This is good, you both have a reason to do this now.
"Yeah, so don't worry your pretty head too much about it, okay?"
A little annoyed by his comment, which in all honesty is just because you refuse to admit your heart fluttered at him calling you pretty, you decide this is good enough and turn to leave. "Alright then, I'm going to get going."
You barely take a step before his hand reaches out to hold your wrist, stopping you from leaving. Confused, you turn around, why did he stop you?
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
The confusion must have shown on your face because he then takes something out of his pocket, his phone. He opens the contacts app and extends it to you, "If we're going to do this, we need to discuss properly because we'll have to fool our friends too. We'll also have to go on "dates". Don't you think they'll question it if we don't even have each other's number saved?"
"Oh." Oh? Why is that the only response you seem to have in front of him if you're not rambling? I feel so stupid.
You take your own phone out and give it to him so you can exchange numbers. Once you're done, you say your goodbyes, turning to leave and this time, Jake doesn't stop you. He just watches as you speed walk to your table, shaking his head as he chuckles to himself. What just happened? Did I really just agree to fake-date someone I barely know? He walks to his own table as he processes everything that went down.
He plops onto his seat, still dazed from that conversation and he doesn't register his friends asking him about what happened. When he doesn't answer, they start laughing, clearly amused by his actions. He feels someone settle into the seat beside him and it finally brings him out of his bubble. It's Heeseung, his best friend, who just got back with his plate of food.
Seeing all his friends laugh and his best friend zoned out, Heeseung asks, "What did I miss?"
Jay, the one sitting opposite to Jake, replied, "A girl suddenly came up to talk to our boy privately and he's been like this since he came back, won't even respond to us." The rest of them continue to snicker, and Heeseung smirks, intrigued. He turns to Jake, "Woah, who was it? What did she say that she got you all flustered this bad?"
Jake, having regained his senses just chuckles, "It looks like I have date."
All of them stare at him with wide eyes, "It's been a while since I've seen you smile about a date." Says Sunghoon as the others nod in agreement.
"Wasn't that the girl in Hee's class though? The one from Economics I think?" Sunoo asks.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was her, isn't she like his rival or something?"
Niki scoffs, "Oh please, it's more like Hee hates her, Jungwon."
All eyes turn to Heeseung who has been still since the moment he heard it was her. Sensing his friends' gaze on him, he pretends it's nothing. "Nah, I don't care enough for that, besides, I don't even know her outside of that class."
Jake sees it though, something about Heeseung's body language screams he's not being truthful but he lets it be since it looks like his friend doesn't want to talk about it.
"So it's her? She's the one you have a date with? Didn't she like, break up with her ex just a couple weeks ago?"
Hearing Sunghoon's question, Jake thinks back to your conversation, how that douche was still bothering you. Letting out a sigh, "Yeah, she did but she came up to me today because she was ready to date again and I think this will go well."
His friends tell him they're proud of him and happy to see him like this, except Heeseung, who's unusually quiet as he tries to process the information he just received. Thankfully, none of them realise that his mind is elsewhere.
Ironically, he finds himself sitting a couple seats away from you in the same class just a few minutes later and all he can think about is how and why you asked his best friend out. He doesn't think he's ever seen you two interact and from what he observed, you've been pretty down for the past couple weeks since the news that you broke up with your ex broke out. To say Heeseung is confused would be an understatement.
One the class ends, he uncharacteristically walks up to you and sees you pause from his sudden presence. You look at him like he's being really weird, which he honestly is, but he has to know.
"So I heard you have a date with Jake now?" God, why did he say it like that? He sounds awkward, What was I thinking just walking up to her without a plan? This is is ridiculous.
On the other hand, you're confused, "How do you know that?"
Immediately, you see him look at you like you're the crazy one. "You do realize he's my best friend, don't you?"
He can tell you didn't know from the way your eyes widen, he shakes his head, "Nevermind, just don't break his heart."
With that, he turns and walks away, leaving you utterly confused and shocked. What have I gotten myself into? I'm fake-dating my rival's best friend, good lord this is going to be awkward.
Heeseung walks to his apartment, repeatedly telling himself that it's okay, everything's going to be okay, but deep down, he knows it's not. Not when his best friend is going on a date with the very girl he's been pining after for 2 years.
not only do I get fake dating with Jake BUT RIVALS WITH HEESEUNG AS WELL OMLLLLL
"Yeah, why not? I heard he's an absolute sweetheart and that he's currently single. He's really cute too."
oh trust me he is
"Okay this is going to sound very abrupt and random but I'm just going to ask you. Can you please be my boyfriend?"
oh!! okay girlie!! I'd say introduce yourself first but I guess this works too!!
"Yeah, so don't worry your pretty head too much about it, okay?"
fucker, you know exactly how to get to me
"Wasn't that the girl in Hee's class though? The one from Economics I think?" Sunoo asks.
oh fuck me you put her into econ as well askdjalgdj
Heeseung walks to his apartment, repeatedly telling himself that it's okay, everything's going to be okay, but deep down, he knows it's not. Not when his best friend is going on a date with the very girl he's been pining after for 2 years.
Settle in with your coziest blanket and grab some popcorn, because it's time to SVTFLIX & chill! Hosted by @100vern, SVTFLIX is a Seventeen collab inspired by all of our favorite K-dramas. Whether you're in the mood for a romantic comedy that breaks the fourth wall or angsty magical fantasy, our talented cast of writers has you covered.
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📺 ADD TO WATCHLIST ✷ Posting period is May 15th — July 15th.
Most of these titles include adult content, which is restricted to those 18 years of age or older. Minors are not welcome to engage with this content and will not be tagged in fics that contain it, even if requested.
📺 True Romance, starring Choi Seungcheol
after going on a blind date with false pretenses with the ceo of your company, things take a turn when he asks you to marry him to keep himself from ending up in an arranged marriage.
pairing: ceo!seungcheol x f. reader
genre: romance, smut, fluff, fake engagement, rom com at times, angst
rating: 18+
warnings: cussing, explicit sexual content, lying
✷ director: @straylightdream | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: business proposal
📺 Business Proposal, starring Yoon Jeonghan
finding out your boss is a misogynistic pig when you're up for the biggest promotion of your life is, to put it mildly, minorly inconvenient. finding out your ex is also a candidate? majorly infuriating. sometimes the only way to win is to not play… but other times the guy working a dead-end job at the convenience store near your apartment agrees to fake marry you so long as he gets what he wants out of the deal. too bad you can't stand each other.
pairing: jeonghan x f. reader
genre: fake dating, marriage of convenience au; mutual annoyances to lovers, miscommunication; crack, fluff, angst, smut
rating: 18+
warnings: capitalism, misogyny, adult content
✷ director: @100vern | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: no gain no love
📺 Guard of the Heart, starring Joshua Hong
You have a lot of standards to meet. You’ve always had. Your family, your company, your fans, they all expect the best from you. And while it is your company who signs your checks, you have yet to disobey your family. So, when your mother demands you go on a blind date to find yourself a competent husband to take over the family business, you listen. You go on a blind date and meet with the worst possible man you could imagine — Joshua Hong. Annoying, careless, Joshua, who manages to make an impression on you nonetheless. But you refuse to fall for him or his shenanigans, especially after the series of events following your first meeting.
pairing: demon!joshua x idol!f. reader
genre: romance, strangers to lovers, bodyguard romance, magic
rating: 18+
warnings: smut, blood, graphic descriptions of violence, obsessive fans, death threats
✷ director: @jakedustry | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: my demon
📺 You Again, starring Wen Junhui
it's been 10 years. since you last saw jun. since the break up that rocked you. since you've been back to this town. since you thought about any of this. but leave it to one of your closest friends to draw both you and jun back in and send your world spiraling again.
pairing: jun x f!reader
genre: attempts at humor, fluff, angst, smut, exes to ?
rating: 18+
warnings: smut, past relationship issues
✷ director: @starlightkyeom | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: our beloved summer
📺 Our Rented Marriage, starring Kwon Soonyoung
out of options when your roommate becomes engaged to her boyfriend, you find hope that maybe there you'll find your ground when you meet kwon soonyoung, your landlord, and the man who asked you to marry him for the sake of rent.
pairing: soonyoung x f. reader
genre: slice of life, romantic comedy, angst, marriage of convenience, strangers to lovers, slow burn, suggestive
rating: 18+
warnings: alcohol, smoking, miscommunication, harassment, misogynistic environments/workplace
✷ director: @mellow-wishes | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: because this is my first life
📺 Truly Madly Deeply, starring Jeon Wonwoo
Jeon Wonwoo is a brilliant programmer. The "what if" of your college years, he's back in your life in the most dramatic way. Yours and Wonwoo's internal Cells villages get into a state of chaotic, hilarious situations and things get interesting. Your Love Cell finally started to wake up from its deep slumber after your last devastating heartbreak. Jeon Wonwoo, has come to wake up every single Cell in your brain in the best way possible, to heal and to learn. To love again.
pairing: wonwoo x reader
genre: friends? to lovers, romance, fluff, slight angst, comedy, fantasy au, mutual pining
rating: 18+
warnings: strong language working environment, mentions of eating due to stress, past relationships, suggestive, a tiny little miscommunication, wonwoo is down bad
✷ director: @lovelylonelinesssvt | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: yumi's cells
📺 Crossing the Bridge to You, starring Lee Jihoon
When Jihoon returns to Daeho after three years, the last thing he expects is running into a woman who claims to be his fiancé. You, who have been stuck in Jinyowon for the past three years, rattle his world with your eccentric yet kind nature. Your boldness is new to him but so is your naivety; will he get his happy ending despite the tragedy that has bound him to guilt? Will you get yours after opposing your mother? Only time will tell.
pairing: sorcerer!jihoon x priestess!f. reader
genre: angst, fluff, fantasy, strangers to lovers, marriage of convenience
rating: 18+
warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, near death situation, memory loss, constant suffering, blood, posession and usage of weapons (swords, bow and arrow), murder, corpses, mentions of suicide, self-blame, lack of freedom and being locked up, messed up timeline of AOS s2 plot
✷ director: @cherrymayz | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: alchemy of souls
📺 Crumpled Paper and Metal Stars, starring Lee Seokmin
Your second semester of grad school has begun. Everything should be relatively easy, you've completed a semester and most of the people in your cohort adore your kindness and sunshine like disposition. Just as you're getting settled, an anonymous post ignites your semester. Instead of an easy sixteen weeks of learning, you're balancing teaching, a post that has the attention of literally everyone, and the personification of a gray cloud: Lee Seokmin.
pairing: grad student!seokmin x grad student!f. reader
genre: grumpy x sunshine, angst, university au, cohorts to lovers, fluff, secret relationship and the angst that comes with it, anonymous confession
rating: 18+
warnings: alcohol, seokmin is the grumpiest (lowk to the point where he's an asshole), mentions of academic burnout, mentions of a sick parent, suggestive scenes
✷ director: @gentleisa | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: dear m
📺 Oops!! We Broke the Plot, starring Kim Mingyu
You and Mingyu are childhood friends and two self‑aware comic characters that are forced into clichéd romcom roles you both hate. On the page, he’s the perfect jock and you’re the villainess; off the page, you’re a nerd–queen duo secretly in love. Fed up with scripted drama and unwanted love triangles, you rebel, glitching the comic as the Writer fights to force you back into place. What follows isn’t a romcom but a battle for agency, freedom, and the right to choose each other.
pairing: mingyu x f. reader
genre: romantic comedy, smut, angst, drama, childhood friends to lovers, meta, breaking the fourth wall(?)
rating: 18+
warnings: smut/nsfw content
✷ director: @xomakara | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: extra-ordinary you
📺 Universal Error, starring Xu Minghao
Being a doctor is hard work. Running your own fan page with over a thousand followers and translating a Chinese webtoon every week? Even harder. Being an avid reader and fan girl of the popular Chinese Webtoon, "Universal Error" turns your life upside down for the better as you translate it every week for your leaks page. However, when the finale turns dark and the main character, Xu Minghao's ending is left open-ended and undetermined. You thought your life couldn't get any worse, until an unforeseen circumstance happens that ends with you waking up in an alternate reality with Xu Minghao's life in your hands. Will you be able to change his reality or would you be left with a Universal Error yourself?
pairing: xu minghao x f. reader
genre: fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, thriller, suspense, fantasy
rating: 18+
warnings: smut/nsfw content, talks about murder, weapons, blood
✷ director: @livmarauder | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: w: two worlds apart
📺 Cyber Love is Bullshit, starring Boo Seungkwan
You hate Love Alarm and everything that it stands for, especially since it's the reason why your last relationship ended. Now navigating through a society where people rely a machine to dictate who you fall for, you find a lone soul like yours who makes you believe in love again.
pairing: seungkwan x reader
genre: fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, found family?
rating: 18+
warnings: talks of infidelity, sexual content
✷ director: @aeristudios | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: love alarm
📺 Rabbit, starring Vernon Chwe
Revenge is the only thing that kept you alive after your family’s betrayal. When the police force you to earn your place by infiltrating the same syndicate that destroyed you, you step back into a world that feels far too familiar - especially Vernon, who seems to see right through you.
pairing: vernon x f. reader
genre: mafia, criminal, angst, smut
ratings: 18+
warnings: violence, criminal behavior, explicit language, explicit content
✷ director: @sailorsoons | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: my name
📺 You Think You Know a Guy, starring Lee Chan
Chan’s grandmother says she disapproves, but he knows she doesn’t mind so long as he proves he can turn a profit before he's given a role in the family business. That’s the easy part, Chan thinks, since a friend in Tokyo says business is booming for his own boyfriend rental service. So he hires four good looking guys— the himbo, the stoic romantic, the playboy, and you, the pretty one. The hardest part, Chan thinks later, is stopping himself from looking your way. (Or: allegedly straight Chan questions his sexuality when all he can think about is the guy who works for him.)
pairing: boss!chan x afab reader
genre: fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers
rating: 18+
warnings: questioning sexuality and gender, employer/ee dynamic, queer themes, accepting family/friend group, accidental but non-malicious misgendering; reader is afab, uses she/they pronouns, and looks androgynous
✷ director: @imnotshua | pilot | full series
✷ inspired by: coffee prince
Please note that all information above is subject to change, including story content and posting deadlines. Writing is meant to be fun, so while all involved are encouraged to post by the deadline, we understand that shit happens! Our talented group of authors are as excited to release their work as you are to read it, so please be patient and kind. Thank you so much for your interest! ✷
get to know your mutuals tag game
tagged by @sn4psh00t and @aeristudios for this, thank you angels <3
origin of your username: gentle -> shua since he is referred to as the gentleman or gentlesexy in svt. eisa -> a nickname for hao, mostly used by jeonghan but i luv to use it too
food you always order: i will always get fries for the table or spicy tuna crispy rice
overused emoji: 💚🦫💗✨
current fave media/ book: i just finished watching heartbreak high and i'm so sad it's over. my favorite book ever is stragirl by jerry spinelli
song on repeat: journey mercies by mark lee, supercut by lorde, lmly by jackson wang, american girls by harry styles
last thing you hyperfixated on: a mark lee edit i was up until 1 am making last night
oddly specific thing that brings you joy: the sound of all my trinkets on my bag clanking around when i walk
phone wallpaper: "even if the world ends tomorrow" on a denim blue bakground with stars
smell that makes you happy: the smell of rain hitting asphalt that has been baking in the sun
morning, night, or other type of person: night person even though i have to wake up early for work
what's your work/ profession: i work in university housing
tagging: @livmarauder @belovedgyu @luvrung @cherry-zip + anyone else who wants to participate ♡
get to know your moots! tagged by my lovely ami and ale <3 @gentleisa @luvrung
origin of your username: liv is just a shortform of my actual name, olivia, but i like liv more because it rolls off the tongue easier and i feel like its less formal than olivia :P er marauder is because harry potter was my biggest hyperfixation when i was younger and the hp fanfiction was actually what got me to become a writer in the first place... so i owe it to all the hp fanfic writers because they wrote more canon things that i believe in more than the og author did
food you always order: mala! that's always my go-to hehe
overused emoji: 😭💗🙂↕️😔🫧
current fave media/ book: high potential! just finished s2 but also a big fan of the rookie and jujutsu kaisen
song on repeat: soft spot - keshi, 12 to 12 - sombr, rain - seventeen, lo$er=lo♡er - txt
last thing you hyperfixated on: constellations and the night sky
oddly specific thing that brings you joy: food in even numbers, bubble teas with coconut jelly, freshly washed laundry that's still warm, the last piece of the puzzle
phone wallpaper: picture of me and my boyfriend :3 but my lock screen one rotates between a carousel of images
smell that makes you happy: freshly washed laundry and my green tea perfume, the smell of my boyfriend's cologne
morning, night, or other type of person: night
what's your work/ profession: digital game art design student + digital media student :D
no pressure tags: @orbitondgtl @cherrymayz @izzyy-stuff @dollhoonki @jayflrt
get to know your moots! tagged by @livmarauder and @hopecutie thanks for tagging me my lovesss🩷
origin of your username: may is what I go by here and cherry refers to cheol cuz he's my ult and I just love that man so bad. I was brainstorming and just randomly came up with this username that was thankfully not already taken by someone else.
food you always order: loaded fries and ice cream, will never say no to those
overused emoji: 😭🤡💀🩷🤌
current fave media/book: just started watching perfect crown and im liking it so far(byeon wooseok and iu🤌) and im also currently reading the solo leveling manga that I am absolutely invested in
song on repeat: txt's japanese songs because they are masterpieces, lost island by enhypen, they dont know about us by bts, lovers by anna of the north, strangers in the night by frank sinatra
last thing you hyperfixated on: apart from the fics I have planned, I have been getting back into nail art
oddly specific thing that brings you joy: cranberry kombucha, thai choco cookie boba, my soft lavender butterfly ring and cute dolphin pendant, finding and buying a book ive been fixated on at a book fair
phone wallpaper: home screen is a picture of jeonghan from his gq 2023 feb photoshoot-has been since he enlisted (had to look up where it was from), lock screen is a 15 pack with group pictures of all my favs, cheol(mostly), shua, jihoon, soonyoung, wonwoo, and jeonghan. People once judged me for having a kpop related lock screen so I decided to go all out😊
smell that makes you happy: perfumes- oud and bergamot, pear, peony. The smell of detergent or freshly done laundry. The smell of my mum's cooking.
morning, night or other type of person: night. always.
what's your work/ profession: business intel intern + cybersec student
tagging: @choco-scoups @jakedustry @mellowgyu @caratchronicles(if you want to ofc) + anyone else who would like to
Pairing: Fake!boyfriend!Jake x Fem!Reader x Rival!Heeseung
Warnings: love triangle, cursing, fake dating, cheating(not mcs), eventual smut, angst(more to be added as the story proceeds)
Summary: You decide to fake date Jake to get your ex to back off but what happens when you find out he's your rival's best friend? What happens when Heeseung starts to question your "relationship" with Jake? Will your ruse come tumbling down or will you get your happy ending?
a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVEEEEE @jakedustry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This whole idea came to me when I started wondering what I should write for your birthday. I hope you'll like it. This part is more like the beginning of the story so there's not much happening and it's short(just around 2k) because life's a bitch and won't let me write as much as I want to. Also, this is not proofread so I don't know if it's good. Anywhoooo, back to the topic, this is my first enha fic and I'm obviously dedicating it to my fav enha writer on tumblr. Once again, I hope you have a lovely birthday izzy :)
It has been two weeks since you broke up with your boyfriend(well, ex now) after you found him cheating on you. You were sitting at one of the tables at your university cafeteria sipping on your precious boba while listening to your friends tell you about how you should try dating someone else.
"The best way to get over that asshole is to-"
You interrupt Lia, "get under someone else, babe, I've heard you say that a thousand times already, I get it."
"Well, I keep repeating it because you have not done anything except mope."
You glare at her, "I am not moping."
Her deadpan expression makes you shrink, "Babe, he doesn't deserve you moping because of him and you need to do something to get rid of that pest."
She's right, you see, your ex boyfriend was not only a cheating asshole, he was also shameless enough to continue to pester you to "get you back" and yet, he hasn't even bothered apologizing to you. Not that you would take him back if he did, it just pisses you off that he thinks he can just barge back into your life after all that.
Just as you're lost in your thoughts, Mari, your other friend, who has been silent this entire conversation suddenly speaks up, "How about him?" She points at the boy sitting at a table opposite to yours, chatting with his friends.
As you follow her line of sight, your eyes widen, "Jake Sim?"
"Yeah, why not? I heard he's an absolute sweetheart and that he's currently single. He's really cute too."
You look at your friends in disbelief, "Are you serious? It's barely been two weeks since I broke up with Jinho."
"Exactly, its already been two weeks, so get yourself out there girl, it's not like you were in a very serious relationship in the first place. It's also the best solution, if that pest sees you with Jake, he will back off, unless he's stupid to pick a fight that he will lose."
Hearing her words, you start to think that actually makes sense, "Fine."
Lia's eyes widen, "What?"
"I'll go talk to him." You say ad you get up and walk towards the table where Jake's seated.
It's your friends' turn to now watch in disbelief as you make your way to the boy they just convinced you to date.
The closer you get to the group of boys, the more you regret your decision to do this but you're not a quitter and you have a plan. When you stop at their table, the boys pause as they look at you, curious as to why you were there. You look at Jake, "Hi."
Jake blinks for a second before responding, "Hey. Can I help you?"
You mentally curse at yourself as you process how insane this is, "Actually, I was hoping to talk to you? In private?"
You hear the oohs from Jake's friends around you but you keep your eyes on Jake, hoping this won't get any more embarrassing than it already is.
Jake can see the fear in your eyes and he softens despite being confused about what brought this over, "Sure, yeah."
As he gets up, you panic because you weren't really expecting him to say yes and now you have to figure out what exactly you're going to say to him.
Having a plan my ass, I really need to stop doing stupid shit. As you both walk to the balcony for some privacy, Jake watches you with curious eyes, but when you stay quiet, he speaks, "So what brought this up?"
You flinch, not expecting him to start the conversation but then again, he probably has no idea why you brought him out here.
"Okay this is going to sound very abrupt and random but I'm just going to ask you. Can you please be my boyfriend?"
Of all things that you could have said, he was not expecting that. You see him frozen with wide eyes and you fumble to explain yourself.
"I'm so sorry, I should have explained what I meant from the start."
Hearing your words, Jake raises an eyebrow, " So you don't mean that you want me to be your boyfriend?"
"No, I mean yes, but no."
You let out a groan, god this is so embarrassing.
"You understand why I'm confused, don't you?"
You nod, trying to put your thoughts into words and when he sees you panicking, he tries to reassure you. "Hey, it's okay, calm down and explain it to me. Take your time."
Thankful for his understanding, you take a deep breath as your brace yourself for what you're about to say.
"You probably heard about my breakup recently right? The rumour was everywhere."
Jake nods, everyone knew after all.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
You flash him a grateful smile, "Well, the thing is, my ex has been pestering me about getting back together and he just won't let me be. My friends thought it would be best if I dated someone else to get him to back off and well, one thing led to another and here I am."
"Ahh, so that's why you came to me. I would agree with your friends but isn't it sad to be with someone just to get your ex to leave you alone?"
"Exactly, which is why I just want you to pretend to be my boyfriend."
Jake's eyebrows raise, "As in, fake dating?"
"Yes."
As Jake thinks about it, you start to worry because really, he doesn't have anything to gain from this and just as you're trying to rack your brain to think of an idea to convince him, you hear him, " Okay."
Your head snaps up so quick you think you might have just strained your neck. "Wait, what?"
Jake chuckles,"Why are you so shocked? You're the one who asked."
"Yes, well, I wasn't expecting you to agree. So quickly, at that."
His head tilts and his eyebrows furrow as he questions, "What made you think so?"
"Well, for one, you don't have anything to gain and this is all so abrupt and we're practically strangers and it's all so weird and-"
"Woah, woah, calm down." He interrupts your rambling and you look down at the ground as you close your eyes, feeling extremely embarassed.
He sees you trembling and tilts your chin up with his fingers to make you look at him, "You're wrong, by the way."
You blink at him, "Huh?"
"I do get something out of this, I wouldn't have agreed to it otherwise."
"And what's that?"
"My friends have been trying to set me up for god knows what reason considering most of them are single too but I'm genuinely tired of having to go on blind dates only to return disappointed that there was just no spark. So being your boyfriend, well, fake boyfriend, will get them to give me a break too."
"Oh." This is good, you both have a reason to do this now.
"Yeah, so don't worry your pretty head too much about it, okay?"
A little annoyed by his comment, which in all honesty is just because you refuse to admit your heart fluttered at him calling you pretty, you decide this is good enough and turn to leave. "Alright then, I'm going to get going."
You barely take a step before his hand reaches out to hold your wrist, stopping you from leaving. Confused, you turn around, why did he stop you?
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
The confusion must have shown on your face because he then takes something out of his pocket, his phone. He opens the contacts app and extends it to you, "If we're going to do this, we need to discuss properly because we'll have to fool our friends too. We'll also have to go on "dates". Don't you think they'll question it if we don't even have each other's number saved?"
"Oh." Oh? Why is that the only response you seem to have in front of him if you're not rambling? I feel so stupid.
You take your own phone out and give it to him so you can exchange numbers. Once you're done, you say your goodbyes, turning to leave and this time, Jake doesn't stop you. He just watches as you speed walk to your table, shaking his head as he chuckles to himself. What just happened? Did I really just agree to fake-date someone I barely know? He walks to his own table as he processes everything that went down.
He plops onto his seat, still dazed from that conversation and he doesn't register his friends asking him about what happened. When he doesn't answer, they start laughing, clearly amused by his actions. He feels someone settle into the seat beside him and it finally brings him out of his bubble. It's Heeseung, his best friend, who just got back with his plate of food.
Seeing all his friends laugh and his best friend zoned out, Heeseung asks, "What did I miss?"
Jay, the one sitting opposite to Jake, replied, "A girl suddenly came up to talk to our boy privately and he's been like this since he came back, won't even respond to us." The rest of them continue to snicker, and Heeseung smirks, intrigued. He turns to Jake, "Woah, who was it? What did she say that she got you all flustered this bad?"
Jake, having regained his senses just chuckles, "It looks like I have date."
All of them stare at him with wide eyes, "It's been a while since I've seen you smile about a date." Says Sunghoon as the others nod in agreement.
"Wasn't that the girl in Hee's class though? The one from Economics I think?" Sunoo asks.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was her, isn't she like his rival or something?"
Niki scoffs, "Oh please, it's more like Hee hates her, Jungwon."
All eyes turn to Heeseung who has been still since the moment he heard it was her. Sensing his friends' gaze on him, he pretends it's nothing. "Nah, I don't care enough for that, besides, I don't even know her outside of that class."
Jake sees it though, something about Heeseung's body language screams he's not being truthful but he lets it be since it looks like his friend doesn't want to talk about it.
"So it's her? She's the one you have a date with? Didn't she like, break up with her ex just a couple weeks ago?"
Hearing Sunghoon's question, Jake thinks back to your conversation, how that douche was still bothering you. Letting out a sigh, "Yeah, she did but she came up to me today because she was ready to date again and I think this will go well."
His friends tell him they're proud of him and happy to see him like this, except Heeseung, who's unusually quiet as he tries to process the information he just received. Thankfully, none of them realise that his mind is elsewhere.
Ironically, he finds himself sitting a couple seats away from you in the same class just a few minutes later and all he can think about is how and why you asked his best friend out. He doesn't think he's ever seen you two interact and from what he observed, you've been pretty down for the past couple weeks since the news that you broke up with your ex broke out. To say Heeseung is confused would be an understatement.
One the class ends, he uncharacteristically walks up to you and sees you pause from his sudden presence. You look at him like he's being really weird, which he honestly is, but he has to know.
"So I heard you have a date with Jake now?" God, why did he say it like that? He sounds awkward, What was I thinking just walking up to her without a plan? This is is ridiculous.
On the other hand, you're confused, "How do you know that?"
Immediately, you see him look at you like you're the crazy one. "You do realize he's my best friend, don't you?"
He can tell you didn't know from the way your eyes widen, he shakes his head, "Nevermind, just don't break his heart."
With that, he turns and walks away, leaving you utterly confused and shocked. What have I gotten myself into? I'm fake-dating my rival's best friend, good lord this is going to be awkward.
Heeseung walks to his apartment, repeatedly telling himself that it's okay, everything's going to be okay, but deep down, he knows it's not. Not when his best friend is going on a date with the very girl he's been pining after for 2 years.
The lights are bright, the cameras are rolling, and the premiere night is here. From heroes to heart-throbs, everyone has a place on the big screen.
Grab your popcorn and step into the spotlight — tonight we’re 🍿Headlining the Blockbuster🍿
Show your ticket at the box office and join the taglist with a visible age rating on your blog! 🎬🍿
The Double Life of My Dad by @chogiwaw ⬩➤ FULL FIC
🎭starring: Choi Seungcheol x f!reader
Based on the show Papadol
be warned: alcohol consumption, smut
📼Preview: Seungcheol's face was all over the world. walking around the city? his face was almost in every billboard. Turning on the tv? He was probably in one of drama that played in some big TV station. Going to the cinema? His recent movie probably was being played there. Music apps? His solo or his group music topping the songs chart. But when the director yells cut, the camera stops rolling and the lights turn off, he's just a simple 35 years old man who can't wait to go home to be with his wife and daughter.
There's no such thing as love… nevertheless by @paradiseonthemoon ⬩➤ PART 1
🎭starring: Yoon Jeonghan x reader
Based on the show Nevertheless
be warned: alcohol consumption, smoking
📼Preview: When it came to a serious talking stage or relationship, Yoon Jeonghan was always quick to leave and ghost. His mindset being more on the side of "why cant two human beings of the opposite sex be really good friends who occasionally kiss and have sex here and there". Eden Park was quite the opposite. Always being in a relationship or talking stage, she was always a very committed person and loyal. Being alone for the first time and starting to be independent, just how far is she willing to let Jeonghan in.
Who Holds Your World by @onionhassayyo ⬩➤ MASTERLIST
🎭starring: Joshua Hong x f!reader
Based on: Daily Dose of Sunshine & House
be warned: Medical/Psychiatry Setting, Prejudice, Mental Health Crisis
📼Preview: She heard their whispers, even though she pretended not to. “She doesn’t apply herself.” “She cares TOO much.” “She’s a liability.” They don’t know that she holds the whole world for them. Her parents, her siblings, her friends, her job. And when she refuses to carry it all anymore, she gets called the villain. And so the cracks begin to form. She holds it together for as long as possible, but when the walls come tumbling down, who is there to hold the world for her?
Gemini by @caratchronicles ⬩➤ FIC: PART 1
🎭starring: Wen Junhui x reader
Based on the show Percy Jackson and the Olympians
be warned: Mentions of blood, war, greek gods and greek mythological lore, panic attacks
📼Preview: As the saying goes, "History repeats itself". Eons after the Second Titan War, the world is left in a similar state of despair. Good prevails, but so does the imbalance and injustice. Now standing on opposite sides, the Gods and Demigods don't think that the damage done by The Aegean War can ever truly be repaired. When yet another prophecy pushes you to fight for your friends, you must decide for yourself: Are you worth fighting for too?
546 Days by @livmarauder ⬩➤ TEASER | FIC: PART 1
🎭starring: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader
Based on the show The Rookie
be warned: mentions of blood and gore, mentions of violence, mentions of murders, topics on kidnapping, mentions of weapons such as snipers, pistols and shotguns, mentions of death of side character, mentions of anxiety, breakdowns, insecurities and ptsd, mentions of drug use/being drugged, misogynistic comments
📼Preview: When Idol Kwon Soonyoung finds himself at rock bottom after getting slammed for multiple crimes he didn't commit and a scandal that sets his career aflame, becoming your rookie was the last place anyone expected him to be. Under your own fire of having so many rookies wash out under your watch, you have no choice but to decide if he's worth the risk or if its your personal mission to get him to quit.
Caramel Pudding by @cxffecoupx ⬩➤ FIC: PART 1
🎭starring: Jeon Wonwoo x f!reader
Based on the show Grey's Anatomy
be warned: drinking, hospital settings, sickness (brain cyst), mentions of surgery or other treatments, death of the main or side characters.
📼Preview: It's been long since, but the doctors at Seattle Grace still remember Izzie Stevens as the doctor who fell in love with her patient. When Alex started her intern year, she scoffed at the story. But when a handsome man keeps showing up at the hospital with weird injuries, she can't help her feelings. And with the reputation that comes with her last name, each wrong move puts a mark. Will she be able to handle the case, or will history threaten to repeat itself?
Every thorn has its twilight by @cherrymayz ⬩➤ PART 1
🎭starring: Lee Jihoon x f!reader
Based on the show Spy x Family
be warned: violence, mentions of blood, possession and usage of weapons such as guns and blades, mentions of murder, threats, war, criminal organisations, death, self-condemnation and self-blame
📼Preview: You and Jihoon have been living a peaceful married life for the past year. One fine morning, WISE and The Garden assign the two of you with the same mission, unbeknownst to either organisation. What happens when the spy and the assassin end up finding out each other's identities? Will you be able to keep the peace you so desperately long for or will you ruin it with your own hands?
Chaste (a laid story) by @pomegranate-teardrop ⬩➤ FULL FIC
🎭starring: Lee Seokmin x reader
Based on the show Laid
be warned: major character deaths, smut, anxiety, themes of mental health and medication, deep intimacy discussions, profanity, insecurity regarding nudity, aphobia, implied enbyphobia/exorsexism, some body horror and gore, smoking, drinking, social ineptitude, grief, mentions of food
📼Preview: Seokmin, stage name DK, is the most infuriatingly successful actor you’ve ever crossed paths with, and you’ve known him since elementary school… let’s just say it’s been a long twenty years. After two decades of him one-upping you without trying — or even noticing — it’s finally your time to shine. Just one problem: he’s your character’s new enemy with benefits. Actually, more than one problem because the writer’s room is getting real demanding about these intimacy scenes and that curse you so heroically took on for ruby (yes, the sex kills curse, what other curse?) is starting to pick off past love interests from this very set.
Words are futile devices by @mellowgyu ⬩➤ PART 1
🎭starring: Kim Mingyu x f!reader
Based on the show Hospital Playlist
be warned: domestic violence and homicide, parent loss, abuse, grief, self-isolation, alcohol dependence, hospital setting and related injuries, mentions of blood, stress, suggestive themes
📼Preview: You never thought of words as important when your world is solely ruled by actions and sutures..That is until you are revisited by the words of the boy you did not have to translate your soul to. However, with the escalation of time, the boy you once knew now is someone you need to notify of your every action…not that you mind the sudden intrusion of the man who has always smelled like sandalwood and all the peace you have ever known.
Read me and weep by @gentleisa ⬩➤ FULL FIC
🎭starring: Xu Minghao x f!reader
Based on the show Criminal Minds
be warned: body insecurity and smut
📼Preview: Technical Analyst LN YN and FBI Agent Xu Minghao are known in the BAU as a dynamic duo. A duo full of reportable comments, inappropriate nicknames and so much warmth. Anyone with eyes can see that YN is in love with Minghao and it's likely that he's in love with her too. What happens when tensions finally bubble over? When someone else is introduced to the story?
Loser like me by @hopecutie ⬩➤ PART 1
🎭starring: Boo Seungkwan x f!reader
Based on the show Glee
be warned: mentions of food, stress, smut and other suggestive themes
📼Preview: There is nothing ironic about show choir, except when you walk into auditions a terrified junior and walk out a lead vocalist. Or when you find a place to belong, then are forced to transfer schools and lose touch with everyone. Or when, years later, you're presented with the opportunity to coach your former glee club to victory—alongside your old co-vocalist, Boo Seungkwan. Will you find the courage to sing again after having left it behind? Will you and Seungkwan pick up where you left off? And will your high school's glee club finally win nationals?
Fated Season by @luvrung ⬩➤ TEASER | FULL FIC
🎭starring: Chwe Hansol x f!reader
Based on the show Bridgerton
be warned: smut, mentions of anxiety, commitment issues, eldest sibling issues.
📼Preview: At 27 years old, you no longer had eligibility in the yearly season of courting. Your only desire now was to get your younger sister married on her first season out this year. You never expected the loop that the Choi family would throw your way with their youngest son Hansol. He was perfect for your sister— yet why was he so intrigued by you?
Love, Intertwined by @choco-scoups ⬩➤ FIC: PART 1
🎭starring: Lee Chan x f!reader
Based on the show Business Proposal
be warned: smut and other suggestive themes
📼Preview: When a series of unfortunate circumstances leaves the stranger you fell in love with, holding a bad impression of you, you decide that maybe love wasn't in your cards yet and try to move on. But what happens when your paths keep intertwining, taunting you to cross the line? Will you dare again? Or will you not?
Luna (@belovedgyu), izzy (@jakedustry) and rae (@nerdycheol) own all rights to the concept, themes and ideation behind this collab and retain it for future similar endeavours.
Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence and death, mentions of blood, possession and usage of weapons such as guns and blades, multiple breakdowns(yes, these characters go through a lot), mentions of abandonment of children, mentions of war, murder, threats, betrayal, inaccurate depictions of spy x family characters/plot devices(for plot convenience), mentions of criminal organisations, self-condemnation and self-blame, slow burn, lots and lots of angst (im sorry if i missed anything, please let me know)
Synopsis: You and Jihoon have been living a peaceful married life for the past year. One fine morning, WISE and The Garden assign the two of you with the same mission, unbeknownst to either organisation. What happens when the spy and the assassin end up finding out each other's identities? Will you be able to keep the peace you so desperately long for or will you ruin it with your own hands?
a/n: hi everyone, this is part one of my fic for the blockbuster collab and this if my first long fic? I might as well just call it my first fic and god I'm honestly so nervous. I'm so sorry it took so long and thank you for waiting. First of all, big big big thank you to @belovedgyu, @jakedustry and @nerdycheol for hosting this collab and for having me participate in it(and also for being such sweethearts and extending my deadline). Also a huge thank you to my lovely darling @mellowamour for being there for me throughout this journey and for beta-reading, and my lovely cutie @livmarauder for helping with the banner and the title, like seriously, I could not have finished this without you both(thanks for being there when I was crashing out and quite literally scrapped more than half of my original draft and rewrote the story). Last but not the least, thank you to all my fellow lovelies @choco-scoups, @caratchronicles, @gentleisa, @luvrung, @hopecutie, @pomegranate-teardrop, @onionhassayyo, @chogiwaw, @paradiseonthemoon, @cxffecoupx who were a part of the collab and made me feel so welcomed and excited about this. I got to make so many friends and finally gathered the courage to start writing so yeah, this has been wonderful and I am so immensely proud of everyone. I hope you enjoy reading this!
Playlist (not exactly a full playlist but a few songs that I listened to while writing this that hit hard) : What kind of future by Woozi | Farewell, Neverland by TXT | Strangers in the night by Frank Sinatra | Rewrite the stars by Anne-Marie and James Arthur | To you by Seventeen
a/n(2): I just discovered woozi covered spy x family OST and I am speechless. How insane that I wrote this fic without knowing this and ended up finding out now. Spy Jihoon was meant to be.
One Sunday morning, Jihoon wakes up expecting to go through his weekend routine — making breakfast, waking up his daughter, eating together and spending the rest of the day trying to get Anya to study. He freshens up and goes to the kitchen wondering how to make studying better for Anya when he pauses to see his wife awake and trying to cook; he immediately knows that this day was not going to go as usual.
You, his wife as of last year, are panicking over the breakfast you seem to be trying to salvage, desperately. Jihoon sees the hoard of dishes in the sink from your failed attempts, and as always, he goes over to help soothe you while making sure that there's edible food for everyone. He calls your name, seeing you flinch and look at him apologetically. "I'm so sorry, I was just trying to make a simple breakfast since you always cook but I can't seem to get it right. I didn't mean to wake you up or make such a mess." You start apologizing profusely, but he stops you by calling your name softly. "You don't have to cook when I can, you already do so much for this family, it's only right that you don't have to worry about this." He says, and thanks you for trying anyway.
Since he took over the cooking, you go to wake Anya in the meantime. By the time breakfast's ready, Jihoon sets the table to see that the two of you have come out of the room. After a peaceful breakfast, he thinks his day will proceed as expected after he fixed the fiasco this morning. He's interrupted by Becky, Anya's friend, who comes knocking at their door followed by her bodyguard, Martha. "Surprise!!! Anya! Let's go shopping today!" Jihoon sees his daughter eager to escape his nagging and lets her go for today, deciding it beneficial for her to bond with the Blackbell heiress.
Now that his routine of trying to get his daughter to study is out of the sequence, Jihoon thinks it a good thing, maybe I can get some paperwork done. He's interrupted from his thoughts when the phone rings, and he goes to pick it up since you're doing the dishes. "Jihoon, it's an emergency, your presence is required immediately." When he hears The Handler say, he informs you that he has an emergency at the hospital and rushes to meet with her.
Meanwhile, you are in the middle of doing the dishes when the phone rings again. When you pick it up, you realise it's a call from The Garden. A high priority mission, they say, an escort job like the last time on the cruise. Except this time, neither the client nor anyone else can know about your presence since it is going to be at the airport, the client will be departing on a "business trip" to leave the country. The client is reportedly a spy, which confuses you as to why The Garden would try to protect a spy. When you voice your confusion, they tell you, "She may be a spy, but the Red Circus should not get their hands on her as they will use her death as a political instigation to start a war against Westalis." The prospect of a war makes you determined to ensure this mission goes well, after all, the very reason you do this work is to prevent a war from hurting your family. It's different from your previous missions though, it requires you to be in disguise. "Additionally, you will have a team of three with you, all in disguise. It's a very sensitive mission and we cannot compromise our people or the client, so make sure no one recognizes you. No one should know any of you were there. She's leaving tomorrow." Those words keep playing inside your head as you try to figure out how to handle this.
At the WISE hideout, Jihoon is in the middle of a meeting where they are discussing the details of the new mission. "This mission is different from our previous ones, it's an escort mission." What? Jihoon questions if he heard that correctly. As if seeing right through him, The Handler looks right at him as she says, "That's right. An escort mission. The woman you see on the screen is one of our aides, Maya, who has been compromised. By that, I don't mean that she was discovered by the State Security, it is the Red Circus." That revelation catches Jihoon off-guard. "How?" He hears one of his colleagues question, as he wonders the same. "You see, she is an official with a family that no one would have suspected. As it turns out, her husband is part of the Red Circus and the two found out about each other's identities during the recent ruckus caused by the Red Circus, when she warned us about their activity." Once again, Jihoon is baffled. "How is that possible? Did she not see any signs during the time they were together?" The same colleague questions again. "He seems to have been with them since the very beginning and concealed his identity far better than any of us could have expected. We cannot always account for all the variables in life." Everyone seems stunned by The Handler's words, to think that the Red Circus had people that were so capable to fool a WISE aide for that long, it made Jihoon shiver just imagining the kind of damage they could do.
"Your mission is to ensure that she is escorted safely out of Ostalis, we cannot leave our aides to fend for themselves in times of danger like these. Leaving her in the hands of the Red Circus could cause the very war we're trying to prevent. They will use her death as the turning point to achieve their goals, painting it as Westalis' job and destroy this fragile peace between the two countries. You will be a team of four, with Twilight leading the mission. She will be leaving tomorrow for a "business trip", ensure that she boards her flight safely." With that, The Handler dismisses everyone. On the way home, Jihoon's mind is plagued by the weight of the situation, as it dawns on him just how badly the situation could escalate if anything goes wrong tomorrow.
When he gets home, he sees you cooking, again, despite his words this morning. Surprisingly though, his worries vanish when he sees that you managed to make something edible this time. "You look tired, I wanted to lessen your workload since you were called in for an emergency even during the weekend." Hearing your words, he smiles at you, thanking you for doing this for him. By the time you both are done eating, the bell rings and you see Anya in Martha's arms, in deep sleep. When Jihoon sighs at the sight, you just smile, endeared by them. Jihoon apologises to Martha, taking Anya in his arms and puts her to bed. Later, when both of you are in your rooms trying to sleep, you realise that even though the normalcy in your lives distracted you for a bit, the two of you are very much wide awake thinking about the severity of the mission tomorrow.
Monday morning arrives, with the two of you alert and awake. Jihoon goes to make breakfast while you wake up Anya and get her ready for school. Despite the mission ahead, you manage to maintain pleasantries the whole morning. You both send Anya off to school and part ways to get to work yourselves.
Anya, sitting in her school bus, is worried. She couldn't read her parents' minds today, it was a full moon after all. Even though everything seemed normal, both her father and mother seemed distracted. It bothered her that she didn't know the reason. She soon forgets about this once she gets to school and meets her friend, Becky.
You reach the City Hall on time as if you were here on your everyday work. Once inside though, your superior calls you in for an "errand".
"You will be disguised as Kira Blair, an American here on a vacation returning home this afternoon." Says your manager, pointing at the wig, scarf, mask, lenses and clothes.
Once you get changed into your disguise and step out, you are met with the sight of your teammates all in disguise, similar to you. This may be a different mission, but it's nothing you can't handle. You repeat those words in your head as you head to the airport.
Jihoon's team arrives at the airport around the same time your team is queuing up to enter the airport. As you enter, you discreetly look for your client and any possible attackers. Ironically, Jihoon stands a few steps away from you doing the same. When you pass by him at the security, Jihoon pauses, taken aback. Something about you feels so familiar but he cannot put a name on it. Before he can think about this more, you move further down the line while Jihoon finally spots the target. She's on the other side of the security check, alert and cautious of her surroundings.
You finish your security check when you spot Maya, making your way into a clothing store nearby while keeping your eye on her. Once Jihoon finishes his check in, he moves towards a restaurant close to the seating area where Maya is waiting for her flight.
You see your teammates moving around when you spot someone glancing at your client. At the same time, Jihoon spots someone moving towards her. This causes both of you to be on high alert, ready to move when you see the two passengers slip past Maya and head towards the gate open for a flight that is about to take off.
However, the two of you remain on high alert with that incident, keeping an eye on the surroundings while ensuring you don't make it obvious. Just then, Jihoon spots one of your teammates, nothing about him screams danger but to his trained eye, it is obvious that this person is not an ordinary passenger. He immediately straightens up, even more cautious, keeping an eye on him while trying to scope out the area to see if there are any more people like him.
You, on the other hand, spot one of Jihoon's teammates. Your gut screams at you that something is off, and when you look at your surroundings, a chill runs through your spine. Your senses alert, making you realise that the atmosphere is weirdly calm. Almost as if everyone is at complete ease but when you focus, none of them really are.
While you think of what your next course of action can be, Jihoon senses that the entire waiting area seems subtly alert. He couldn't pick up on this earlier, didn't think of this as soon as he walked in. He sharpens when he realises that the people here are far more skilled than he imagined.
You tap into your in ear monitor informing your team about your realisation. "There is a suspicious individual, he's wearing blue and is hovering around the sofa where Maya is seated." Having only identified one suspicious individual, you decide to lure him out to a closed space. "Kai, lure him into the washrooms and try to test him but do not alert anyone, please be careful not to involve anyone else."
Jihoon observes Kai moving towards his teammate, Lar and informs his team. "One suspicious individual identified, he's wearing a pink shirt and is currently moving towards Lar. Everyone, remain alert, we cannot cause a commotion here. Lar, be careful not to involve any civilians, we need to handle this carefully." While both sides trust their teammates to handle this, the teams still remain on high alert. You and Jihoon watch as your colleagues head inside an empty washroom, waiting with bated breath for them to come out safely.
A few minutes pass and when neither of you see your comrade come out, you both immediately spring into action. The moment both of your teams move, is when everyone recognizes there are more people. Apart from you and Jihoon, who are hidden in the restaurant and the clothing store, the rest of your teammates are exposed to each other due to their positions. With the realisation that your teams are exposed, you and Jihoon, as the leaders, take charge to keep your teams safe while keeping your positions in the dark.
Directing your teams to move, you and Jihoon check to see that Maya hasn't caught onto the commotion yet, nor has anyone else, thankfully. With no one having any weapons on their person, it all depends upon their physical combat. However, none can afford to draw attention towards themselves.
As you give instructions to your teammates, you realise that your every move is being countered, as if someone else was watching and instructing them too. Every time someone moves from your side, the enemy is already moving away. This fact has you looking around to find the other person, to see if your intuition was right, yet, you cannot find them.
At the restaurant, Jihoon is in a similar position, having observed how every move they make was countered, he could tell that there must be another person on their opponent's team instructing their teammates. He too, tries to find them to no avail.
Deciding to retreat for now, both teams move discreetly, enough to still keep an eye on the target but away from each other to not raise any suspicion. When your team is safe, you instruct them to lay low, deciding that the safety of the client is more important than eliminating the enemy. Jihoon too, instructs his team to focus on ensuring the target is safe over prioritising the enemy's defeat.
After the bitter withdrawal from the team fight, both teams refocus on their mission—escorting Maya safely out of this country. Still, everyone is extremely cautious, believing the other to be the enemy, all remain in complete awareness of Maya's movements as well as the enemy's movements.
Just as you and Jihoon contemplate how to proceed with the mission, an announcement interrupts you. "The flight to France departing at 14:30, boarding starts in ten minutes." You just have to keep her safe for these ten minutes and ensure she boards the flight safely. With the boarding time about to start, your teams are once again on the lookout for any threats near the target.
Seeing Maya move to get in line, Nora, one of your teammates, and Posie, one of Jihoon's teammtes, move closer to remain in the vicinity to protect her in case of any attacks. While they move, you and Jihoon remain in your spots, concealed from the enemy while trying to search for each other. Boarding starts in two minutes and the mission will soon be over, yet, neither of you can relax knowing that there are so many people here for reasons unknown.
A sound makes you and Jihoon pause, as the both of you turn towards the noise, realising it was just a child crying out loud, you both lock eyes. In that moment, both of you realise that you have found the person you were looking for. No one else would have reacted with that speed, but the fact that you did, gave you away to each other. Now knowing each other's positions, the two of you move to get away, because you cannot afford to confront each other and cause chaos in that critical moment.
"I've been exposed, I'm moving towards a quieter area, keep me updated with the progress of the mission." you say to your team.
"I've been compromised, I'll be farther away, keep me posted with the mission progress." Jihoon relays to his team as he continues to wonder why your eyes keep bugging him, almost as if something on the back of his mind is trying to remind him who you are.
You quietly move towards the restricted area, choosing a quieter place in case you are found again. Jihoon too, swiftly moves to the same area. You both are turning corners from the opposite sides when you, once again, lock eyes with each other. That is when Jihoon realises who you are, the person he saw at the entrance. He thought there was something so familiar about you, looking at you now, he wonders why he still feels that way, maybe because she's the enemy and my instincts recognised that, he reasons. Still, there's something about your eyes that feels so familiar and yet, he cannot tell because it looks like you have colored lenses on.
Knowing you have nowhere to go now, the two of you walk towards each other, sizing each other up, trying to decide how to go about this whole ordeal without airport security catching you. Once you get close enough to attack, you take out your hair pin to strike him while Jihoon tries to knock you out, only for both of your attacks to be useless against the other. When you realise this and change tactics, Jihoon manages to land an attack that has your mask slipping from the tips of your ears and your scarf tumbling down, exposing your face to him. In that moment, he is stunned, completely immobile; while you, despite being confused over his sudden inability to move, take the chance to strike at him, your hairpin accidentally hitting his face. The next moment, his disguise falls apart too, revealing the face of your enemy.
The two of you pause, a million questions running through your minds, confused and shocked beyond words. You think to yourself, what the hell is your husband doing here? All the while Jihoon is trying to understand the situation, because really, what in the world is his wife doing in front of him at this place? You both are brought back to reality when you hear your teammates reporting that Maya has successfully boarded the plane and it took off safely. With your teams urging for you to get back, you turn around, fix your disguises and revert because at that moment, it's all either of you can think of doing.
Getting back to your teams, both you and Jihoon stay silent, not answering your teams' questions. Still in shock, neither of you know how to move forward, but you're both keeping quiet about the whole situation, subconsciously. It is then that the thought hits you, you don't want to expose Jihoon. At the same time, he too realises that he does not wish to reveal your identity. That realisation keeps you both numb through the journey back to report to your organisations.
At WISE hideout, Jihoon and his team are gathered in front of The Handler, running through the course of events. When one of his colleagues mentions the other team discovering his position, Jihoon explains that he took cover in a restricted area and left the premises when his team reported the mission to be complete. On the way back home, he realises the weight of the lie he just told his comrades. If they were to find out what he did, not only would your life be in danger, but his too. After all, he would be suspected of treason. Still, he can't bring himself to expose the information that he, unfortunately, gained today.
At The Garden headquarters, you stand before The Shopkeeper while the rest of the team recaps the incident to him. Your coworkers mention that you were discovered, and The Shopkeeper turns to you to explain further. Your brain autopilots and launches into an explanation where you omit the confrontation altogether. On your way back, you realise that you hid the fact that your husband was the enemy from all of The Garden without hesitation. It dawns on you that your decision to do so could cost you both yours and your husband's lives, with you branded as the very traitor you so desperately tried to avoid being named as.
You reach home earlier than he does, seeing Anya watching her cartoons, your heart aches for her. Your thoughts spiral as you think of who he works for, why he does what he does and what this means for the two of you and for Anya, what happens to this family that you've built. If he truly is part of the Red Circus, why? Is there no way to make him turn away? Just then, the bell rings and your spine straightens as you prepare yourself for what might come. Anya rushes to the door, opening it and welcoming her father with a bright smile. He smiles at her as he walks in, then proceeds to scold her for not studying like she should be.
It feels surreal, the way everything seemed normal at that moment, like nothing happened, as if the two of you did not just discover something life changing about each other a few hours ago. When he looks up and meets your eyes, his gaze lacks the usual warmth, you realise. Of course, that is to be expected and yet, why does it hurt so much? Why does him looking at you like you're a stranger pinch at your heart so bad?
Standing in front of you, Jihoon sees the anger and pain in your eyes. It makes him see his own feelings mirroring yours. He should never have hidden the truth from his team, he should have killed you the moment he realised who you were, the moment you found out who he was. Yet, here he is, standing in front of you, in this place he has called home for the past year, feeling hopeless at the mere thought of you. He questions himself again, because why does the sight of you in front of him like this feel like betrayal? Why does seeing the pain in your eyes make him feel as if his heart has been ripped apart?
Anya sees the expressions on her parents' faces and is frustrated she cannot read their minds, not knowing the reason behind their discomfort makes her upset. Seeing how your daughter seems down, you both do your best to put her to sleep since you both know you can't have this confrontation in her presence. Once Anya's asleep, the two of you step outside her room, turning around immediately, pointing weapons at each other. You smirk to yourself wryly, wondering how you ended up in this position, with a gun to your head while you point one to your husband's.
"Who are you?" Jihoon asks, that question plagued his mind throughout the day, ruining him.
"I could ask you the same." You reply, having had the same thought mess with your mind for the entire day.
Jihoon presses closer, his patience running thin as he thinks of how wrong the mission could have gone. Seeing his aggression, you push against his chest with your gun, just the thought of a possible war making the rage in you explode.
The tension in the room is so thick it could cut through mountains. You stand in place, staring at each other as if it could give you all the answers you seek. It's only when the power suddenly goes off that you realise what you were doing, neither of you pulled the trigger when you both could have done so easily. Instead, you were still, as if time stopped while you desperately search for answers in each other's faces.
With the room now pitch black, you could no longer see each other's faces causing you to be alarmed. Immediately taking a defensive position, since you now know you're enemies, both of you assume this was a situation planned by the other to eliminate you. No longer being able to use your guns without causing a commotion, you abandon them to lunge at each other like you did earlier today. Except this time, he knows you use blades and dodges your attack just as you dodge his arm trying to tackle you. As you and Jihoon continue to attack each other to no avail, you curse in your minds at how difficult it is to even land a single hit.
Right, she's always been abnormally strong, Jihoon thinks to himself. He remembers the first time you two met, no wonder I couldn't sense her presence back then, it was because she's trained to hide it. He berates himself for not questioning it sooner, for not being more cautious while observing how swift and strong you truly are in this moment.
As you continue to attack him, you too realise just how quick he is and how it seems like he can read your moves, it pisses you off more than you already are. A thought pops into your mind, I let my guard down around him to the point I never realised how strong he was. That night where you both rescued Anya from the military forces and he flew a jet saying he once had a part time job that taught him to, you believed him, you believed him. Every single time, you trusted him without hesitation. It hits you how foolish you've been, not identifying any of the signs, letting him play you for a fool and your anger surges again.
When you lunge at him harder this time, Jihoon can feel it, the raw rage behind the attack, and the shock locks him in place as you manage to tackle him to the ground. Falling on his back, Jihoon braces himself for the impact of your blade against his skin but feels none. After what feels like an hour, he opens his eyes and is met with the sight of your trembling hand holding your blade against his neck but not cutting. You had the chance to kill him but didn't, the realisation has him stunned yet again.
You, on the other hand, are struggling with the torment of your conflicting emotions. Your mind says to kill, he is a traitor, the enemy, but your heart aches at the thought of killing your husband. With your mind in turmoil, you struggle to keep your grip on Jihoon. Your body betrays your exhaustion when the blade slips from your grasp and falls to the ground. Once again, you and Jihoon are frozen in place, trying to piece the situation together. It's at that moment when the lights turn back on and you can see each other's expressions clearly. The anger, the pain, the confusion, the shock, they all mix together as you try to figure out your next step.
You both rise to your feet immediately when you hear the door opening, Anya walks out rubbing her eyes. When she sees you both standing there looking all awkward, she frowns and asks, "Mama, Papa, what are you doing here?" As you both fumble to come up with an explanation, she yawns and proceeds to go to the washroom, deciding it's just you two being your weird selves. Seeing her walk away, you both sigh in relief but immediately turn to glare at each other. It's insane how Anya makes you forget your situation, making you realise how deeply involved you both have become in this family.
Knowing Anya will come back out any moment, you both stay in place, not wanting to involve an innocent child in your affairs. Once she comes back, she uncharacteristically asks to sleep with you. Unable to refuse her, you take her to bed giving Jihoon a look that signals this is far from over. Deciding to continue this tomorrow, Jihoon moves back to his room. Anya is in deep sleep while you're wide awake, questioning how your life has turned upside down within the span of twenty four hours. Jihoon too, cannot find it in him to sleep for the second night in a row because you plague his thoughts, refusing to let his guard down.
At this point, neither of you have realised that you have not reported each other to your organisations, both assuming that you did and that your organisations assigned you to eliminate the other.
Morning comes and you are both wide awake, having not slept a wink the previous night. Knowing you have to send Anya to school, you and Jihoon pretend everything is exactly how it was yesterday, using the normalcy of your lives in this family as an excuse to avoid the inevitable. He makes breakfast while you get Anya ready, that's how everyday goes and you both try to keep it that way today too.
Anya wakes up to you gently calling her, she rubs her eyes adjusting to the morning light when she hears you think, because it hits you now, the chaos of yesterday did not allow time for you to think about it but now, looking at Anya, you wonder, what will happen to Anya if you kill Jihoon? She would be devastated, surely. You question how Anya ended up under his care, slowly starting to wonder if anything you've known was ever true. As Anya hears your train of thoughts, she pales. The very thing she's spent a year trying to prevent, her parents finding out each others' identities, has come true. You see Anya's complexion looking haggard and worry, "Anya, are you okay? Do you feel sick? Are you hurt anywhere?" However, Anya cannot hear any of your words right now. She is panicking at the thought of what this could mean to your family, terrified she'll be abandoned again.
When you see her not responding to you despite you calling her name multiple times, your insticts kick in as you yell for Jihoon. "JIHOON!" He, who was in the middle of cooking, startles to hear you cry out for him, but his body moves before his mind can catch up. He runs to the room on reflex, and when he sees Anya, he understands immediately. His daughter looks as if she saw a ghost, you explain to him that she's not responding and he can see you losing your mind over it. You've always been very cautious around Anya, taking care of her like she's made of glass, he's seen you freak out over smaller things before and he realises why you yelled out for him so desperately. You love and adore Anya and seeing her unresponsive sent you into a state of panic that he's never seen you in before. He goes over to Anya, taking her into his arms while you try your best to keep yourself from crying. He tries talking to Anya when she suddenly bursts into tears, and it stuns both of you into silence. She weeps like never before and you have no idea what caused her so much pain but it breaks you heart to see your daughter break down like that.
As she continues to sob, you and Jihoon try your best to placate her the best you can.
"What's wrong, Anya? Why are you crying?" Jihoon tries to ask but receives no reply.
"How about this? I'll make you your favorite hamburger steak tonight, okay?" He tries to calm her with food but unlike every other time, his daughter doesn't react. Seeing this, Jihoon panics because because neither of you know how to make her stop crying. Just as he's racking his brain for a solution, he hears Anya mumble.
"A-Anya's scared."
Her words confuse you, what got her so scared that she's crying so much? Did she have a nightmare? That would explain it.
"W-will you l-leave Anya?"
Her words shock you, and you immediately ask, "Why would you think that?"
"B-because y-you," Anya pauses when she remembers she can't say that she knows your identities.
"Because Mama and Papa are fighting."
You and Jihoon immediately look at each other, wondering if she accidentally saw you battling each other. No, she was asleep and neither of you made a single sound that could have woken her up. Anya watches you two, reading your thoughts as her worries increase with your reactions.
"Why do you think we're fighting?" You ask her.
"You both look so serious and scary."
Hearing her say that, you both berate yourselves for not concealing your emotions better. Even though she is probably more sensitive to the tension between you as she is attuned to living with you, if a child can sense the difference, anyone can. Immediately, Jihoon tries to reassure her that's not the case.
"We're not fighting Anya, and we won't leave you. Don't worry about it, okay?"
Even though she knows he's lying about you not fighting, she wants to trust his words of not leaving her.
She looks at you as if asking you if that's true, and you soften. "He's right Anya, we won't leave you."
It's only then that she decides to trust you both.
"Promise?"
You and Jihoon look at each other and then at her, "Promise."
She reads your thoughts and realises you mean it, she cannot undo the fact that you now know each other's identities and she knows you will probably fight each other but she can tell, neither of you plan to abandon her.
"Do you want to go to school?" You ask, wondering if she can go in this state.
Anya shakes her head, she doesn't want to leave you two alone, scared you might kill each other.
You look at Jihoon, "I can stay and take care of her."
"I want to stay with both of you." You hear Anya say.
Jihoon looks conflicted, both of you staying together and pretending everything is fine is not something either of you wish to do. He sighs, softening when he sees the look on Anya's face.
"Okay, we can stay home today. I'll make your favorite and you can watch cartoons. Will that make you feel better?"
Anya brightens, nodding with a smile when she hears your thoughts, Will we be able to convince her that we're okay? Anya makes it her mission to make you both reconcile by the end of the day.
Now that all of you are going to stay home for the day, you and Jihoon make calls to let your superiors know that you won't be coming in today. They're surprised to say the least, especially when you mention that it is because your daughter is not feeling well.
Meanwhile, Anya tries her best to think of ways to make you and Jihoon reconcile. She finds Jihoon cooking the steak as he promised and rushes over to him. She looks up at him and says the words that make his world stop, "Anya doesn't want Mama and Papa to break up."
At the moment she says these words, you walk in to the hall and pause. Sensing your presence, Jihoon looks at you and sees the conflict in your eyes. He's sure his own eyes reflect the same turmoil. How are you supposed to continue to pretend to be a couple? The betrayal you both feel is impossible to leave behind and continue with your lives.
He must have reported yesterday's incident, if he doesn't kill me, his people will probably show up to do it instead. Anya hears you think, I should have done the same, what was I thinking hiding the fact that my husband was the enemy on the field?
At the same time, Jihoon wonders how long it would take before your people decide to eliminate him if you don't. Trying to think of places where they would probably try to intercept him, he plans to avoid them all. If he is killed, his team would be in danger, not knowing who found out his identity since he did not report the situation.
Anya, having heard both of your thoughts, realises that neither of you have revealed each other's identities to anyone else. It also seems like neither of you plan to do so anytime soon. It makes her overjoyed, even more determined to make you both reconcile.
You both break out of your thoughts when you hear Anya say, "I want to watch cartoons with Mama and Papa."
As you all sit on the sofa watching her favorite cartoon, with the two of you side by side as per Anya's request, you try your best to keep calm. However, the thoughts never subside, keeping you distracted and it shows when Anya looks at you both again. She sees how hard you're trying and failing to pretend all is well.
She makes you both play games with her, eat with her and spend the day as you would before this tension arose. By the end of the day, you both have managed to convince your daughter that you're not going to abandon her but Anya goes to bed disappointed that she could not make you both reconcile. She could hear you both thinking and she knew that your argument was far from over.
Once you made sure Anya was asleep, you turn to each other just like you did the previous night, except this time, neither of you make a move to fight. Having just spent the entire day with Anya, you don't have it in you to continue your argument from last night. You and Jihoon return to your own rooms, deciding to leave it be for now. It's only when you're both lying in bed, exhausted from having not slept for the past two days along with all the emotional stress you felt, that you remember you just turned your back to your enemy. He could have killed me at that moment, I let my guard down again even after knowing what he's capable of, you realise with horror. In his room, Jihoon is struck with the same thought, I've gotten used to this life, to her, I have to be more careful. Yet, neither you nor Jihoon realise that the other did the same, that you're both equally immersed in this family you've built.
It's Wednesday morning, and this time, everything seems normal when you get Anya ready while Jihoon makes breakfast. You eat together and see Anya off, but you don't greet each other like you usually do. You have been trying to ignore each other's presence while also being hyper aware the entire morning. You both get to work, going through the day as usual while trying to fight the thoughts that threaten to plague your minds.
When you get home, you go through the same routine, ignore each other's existence while pretending nothing has changed. That night, you lie awake again, this time, your anger rising again as you think about all the signs that you missed. The time he came dripping with blood to your colleague's party, it was only your second time meeting and yet, you didn't question him. The amount of times he had "emergencies" at the hospital, when he came home with injuries and claimed he had difficult patients, now that you think about it, what psychiatrist faces so many injuries so often? You feel angry at yourself for letting yourself be tricked so easily, he didn't even bother to try to make himself less suspicious. The thought irritates you, to think he thought you so easy to fool.
Jihoon is in a very similar position, thinking of all the times he thought you were suspicious but brushed it off as nothing. The times you came home so late, your unbelievable strength, he wonders how he was so stupid. He has always been two steps ahead, he was the one who fooled others, not the other way round. Yet, you got him this time, seeing you at one of his missions standing opposite to him as an enemy was something he never even imagined could happen. He feels angry at himself for putting his people in danger, it's his fault he didn't see through you. Another thought pops into his mind that makes him sit up straight, your brother, Yuri. He's a State Security Service agent, he always thought you didn't know about his job, but now he wonders, what if you did? If you tell your brother about him, Jihoon and his entire team would be compromised. With this thought, he makes up his mind to disclose your identity to The Handler tomorrow. Not once does it cross his mind that if you truly are a criminal, there is no way you would disclose your identity to a State Security Service agent since it would put you in danger, even if he's your brother.
The next morning proceeds like every other day, but this time, you're both angry again. You go to the City Hall when one of your superiors calls you in for a meeting. You wonder if they know, and the thought makes you more anxious as you realise that you still don't want to reveal your husband's treachery. Just as you're about to ask why you were called, you hear him say, "Our sources say that the people you encountered during your last mission were not from the Red Circus." Those words make you feel relieved, so he's not a criminal. Then that leaves one option, he must work for the State Security Service, it makes sense that they would try to eliminate a spy. Just as you think this, your superior continues, "They're not from the State Security Service either, they wouldn't have bothered disguising themselves." Your confusion must have shown on your face because he clarifies, "They're most likely from WISE, Westalis' intelligence agents."
The revelation leaves you horrified, he's a spy, I married a spy in order to not be suspected as a spy. You realise how ironic the situation is, an assassin and a spy posing as a married couple to hide their identities, even from each other. You school your features, trying your best to not show your emotions in front of your boss. Our marriage was probably the shield he used to secure his identity. The rage in you intensifies, to think that you have been living with a spy, you helped this man avoid suspicion, it disgusts you.
"I'm telling you this because you should be careful, we cannot guarantee what they would do if they found out The Garden is real."
Hearing this, you don't know what to do anymore. Just as you felt relived that your husband was not a criminal, you find out he's a spy. The confirmation that he's still an enemy leaves you devastated. "We still don't know why they were there, although, it is highly likely that they were there for the same reason as we were, to protect their spy." You leave work with many thoughts, confused and horrified more than ever.
When Jihoon goes to see The Handler, he doesn't get the chance to say a thing as he is ushered into a meeting with everyone from the team that went on the last mission. With everyone there, The Handler speaks, "This is about the team you encountered during the mission. Our sources confirm they're not from the Red Circus or the State Security Service."
This statement stirs confusion among all the agents, and one of Jihoon's teammates speaks up, "They can't possibly be some random group of criminals, they were far too observant and well trained for that." Everyone agrees and The Handler continues, "You're right, they're most likely from this organisation called The Garden."
Now, that has every single person in the room stunned, "Weren't they just a myth?" Somebody questions but Jihoon is too far gone to register who it is. The revelation rings in his mind as he realises he's both relieved and utterly horrified at the prospect of his wife being part of an organisation so secretive and dangerous, no one knows any details about them. On his way home, he's dazed and overwhelmed by this new knowledge of how terrifying you truly are.
Standing in front of the door to your house, you hesitate. Unlike all these days, you now know there is a spy on the other side of this door. You know he's home, you took your time returning because you couldn't face him just yet. Just the thought of it sends shivers down your spine. You don't know what to believe anymore, despite having been trained not to trust anyone in this world, you never imagined there would be a day where that person would be your sweet husband. Not so sweet anymore, you think to yourself bitterly at the thought of his cold eyes gazing into yours.
The Red Circus were originally advocating for equality but turned to terrorism after their people were killed, their main goal is to get Ostania to acknowledge their greivances and escape to safety. You were trying to reason with yourself about why your husband would be one of their members, but now? Now you know he's a spy, he was always the enemy. You remember the times everyone around you spoke about how spies are here with no other inention but to cause war. He's going to ruin the peace in this country, he's going to do the very thing I spent my life trying to avoid. You think to yourself as the anger inside you itches to stop him, Tonight, tonight I will kill him, no matter what it takes, for Anya, for Yuri, for every innocent soul in Ostania. Determined, you open the door and walk in.
The sight that greets you has you stopping in your tracks— Anya is laughing as she runs around the house playing with Bond, your dog, and Jihoon, he's watching them with an exasperated expression on his face but you can see the fondness in his eyes that he probably doesn't realise he's showing. It makes you realise that this man, this spy, no matter what his relationship is with Anya, truly cares for her. The sight that was once so normal everyday, now has you filled with emotions so intense you can't remember why you were so angry. You cannot imagine what would happen if Anya didn't have her father around anymore, just the thought of her tears makes you question if this is the only way, you don't want to be the reason for her pain. She's so much like Yuri when we were young, what would Yuri have done if I didn't return from one of my missions? I can't do that to Anya, I just can't, but what about the other kids in this country? What of the innocent people who will lose their lives in the war? Your thoughts spiral as you try to choose between saving your family and saving your country.
Jihoon sees you standing at the door and calls out to you, "Why are you just standing there?" You look at him, the way he's acting like nothing has changed, how, just for a moment, it felt like you were back to the time before this chaos. Hearing him, Anya turns to you and runs into your arms. She seems especially happy today and you cannot help but indulge her. No matter what happens, she will always be your daughter. I love this little girl, I won't let anything happen to her. You decide that you will protect her at all costs, against anyone who dares hurt her, just like you did with Yuri. You just don't know how to protect her from the pain you will inevitably end up causing her when you kill Jihoon.
Unbeknownst to you, Anya was trying her best to make everything seem normal because she wants her parents to go back to how they were. Jihoon was trying his best to keep calm, he didn't know how to deal with this situation now that he knew you weren't a criminal. You were a lot like him, trying to keep the peace within this country, in your own way. That thought made him want to try and work this out, he didn't want to endanger his team but he also wanted to keep his family safe for the sake of his mission, or so he tells himself. He hoped he could talk to you tonight. When Anya heard her father's thoughts, it made her overjoyed and she was hopeful about keeping this family intact. When she heard you think about how much you love this family too, she was over the moon and too distracted to hear you think about killing Jihoon. She goes to sleep content with the progress between you.
Facing Jihoon, you're contemplating everything again, What if he kills me instead? What will happen if we both die? Who would take care of Anya? What about Yuri? Where would Bond go? You know there is a high chance of that happening, he's very skilled, you're both pretty much equally matched. Jihoon calls your name and when you look up at him, something's different. His eyes are not cold anymore, there's that warmth you're so used to, and that confuses you to no end. Why is he looking at me like that? Why does he look like he's not angry anymore?
Jihoon sees the confusion in your eyes, he also felt your murder intent right before he called your name. He wonders, does she know I'm a spy? Does she hate me? She probably does. Why wouldn't she? She married me because she didn't want people to mistake her as a spy. If she found out she married one, she would obviously want to get rid of me. Just as he thinks that, you lunge at him, he dodges on instinct but it pains him. He can tell you know, he can see it on your face, the raw emotions that you no longer supress, much stronger than before.
He continues to dodge your attacks, deciding to let you just take your anger out on him. You continue to strike at him with your hairpin, trying to kick him, punch him, you try everything you can. You hesitated because of Anya but when you saw him looking at you like he did before all this, you lost it. It reminded you of how he lied about everything, you don't see your lovely husband anymore, you see the manipulative monster who was planning to destroy your life and many others with a war. Nothing he can say or do will ever make you forgive him, you will never be able to trust him again. Granted, you lied to him too, but you were trying to protect the very peace he chooses to ruin. You will do whatever it takes to stop this man tonight, even if you die trying.
As time passes, you realize he has no intention of attacking you, all he's doing is dodge you and you cannot begin to comprehend why. Why does it seem like he doesn't want to hurt me? It makes no sense though, there's no way he cares, not now, not after everything that has happened. His attempts at calming you down only fuel your rage further, making you charge at him harder.
When Jihoon sees that you're not going to stop, it looks like she wants to kill me tonight, no matter what, he tries to think of how he can try to get you to hear him out. As he gets distracted by that thought for a split second, you manage to land a hit on his arm, slashing his skin with your blade and blood oozes out of his bicep. Jihoon stiffens for just a second before he just lets you be, he decides that if this is what it takes for you to calm down so you both can talk, then he's just going to let you strike him.
You, on other hand, are completely frozen at the sight of him bleeding, it causes your brain to spiral into a frenzy of thoughts of him hurting because of you. You feel a sharp tinge of pain in your chest at that, you can't hurt him, even if he's a spy, even if he ends up ruining your people, you cannot bring yourself to do it. It dawns on you that you've come to care for this man so deeply that your heart twists painfully at even just the thought of him in pain. You were planning to kill him, but how can you? When you can't even bare the slight scratch you just made on his arm?
Jihoon sees you tremble, on the verge of tears, and he's confused, why are you crying suddenly? You were so full of rage and determination just a few seconds ago, what happened? It's when he follows your gaze to his wound that he realizes why, and his heart aches at the thought of you berating yourself for hurting him.
He calls your name softly, your eyes snap to his and that's when you break, your body fails you as you fall to the ground, the weight of your emotions draining everything from you. Jihoon rushes to catch you, he holds you gently as you cry, trying to make sense of what happened and how he can comfort you.
As you cry, you register that he's holding you, so gently as if you'll break if he holds you any tighter, and you start hitting his chest with no actual strength, trying to convey how unfair this is. He lets you, he understands how you must be feeling, it kills him to know that he's reason for you current state.
After a few minutes, Jihoon hears you murmur, "Why did it have to be you?" He doesn't know how to answer, he wishes so badly that you two never met, if only he could go back in time, you would never have to face this. Taking in his silence, you question him, because you need to know, "Why do you want to start a war? Why can't we just live peacefully?" The word 'war' causes Jihoon to freeze and you feel it, when you look up at him, he looks like he's confused and terrified. You don't understand why but he speaks up before you can voice your confusion, "Who told you that?"
"Huh?"
"Who told you I wanted to start a war?"
"I-I, that's, I just heard people say that spies are here for that reason alone."
He calls your name, "Look at me," and when you look at his face, "I have no intention of starting a war, the only reason I do what I do is to prevent one from ever happening."
His words shock you, "What? How is that possible?"
He looks pained at the accusation, "I would never hurt the people like that, trust me."
Trust me, those words make it more painful for you, because how can you? You convey your thoughts to him, "How can I believe anything you say when everything about you is a lie? How do I know you're not lying to me at this moment too?"
Jihoon feels stuck, he doesn't know how he can convince you that he's not lying, he gets why you cannot trust anything he says. How did our lives come to this? When he doesn't answer, you push him away, and Jihoon just watches you move away from him. "If you can't even answer that, then there's no point in trying, please stop pretending you care." You turn to go back into your room and sleep the day off because you don't have it in you to do anything else right now.
Lying in bed, you force yourself to sleep because your body is too exhausted for you to lie awake thinking about your situation. Jihoon stays awake for yet another night, it's becoming a routine at this rate, one he's not fond of. He cannot stop thinking about your question and the lack of emotion in your eyes when he couldn't answer. He wishes he did, he wishes he could, but he stayed silent because for once, he, Twilight, did not have a plan. He needs to try again tomorrow, he cannot let this affect his mission or let this situation escalate further until his team is compromised because of his carelessness, at least that's how he reasons to himself.
Next morning, you wake up late and immediately go to get Anya ready; when you both emerge in the hall, Jihoon has set the table and is waiting for you both. You continue to ignore him, placing your attention on Anya entirely. Jihoon tries to talk to you but it becomes obvious to him that you have no intention to hear him out. Seeing this, Anya gets sad but then she hears your thoughts, how both of you just want to live your lives like you have been, and decides that this is good enough.
You get to the City Hall for work as usual when you're called in for another mission. Good, I can get my mind off everything else. "This time, the target is a small town artist." You look at your superior, confused. "He's done quite a good job at pretending that's all he is for the last five years. He's one of the leading members of the association that has been trying to stir up trouble recently. It looks like they've been preparing for a long time. We need to eliminate this group before they do any more damage to our country." Hearing that, you are determined to make sure you succeed. Thankfully, this mission manages to make you forget about your situation at home for a while.
At the WISE quarters, Jihoon is being informed of his latest mission. "The target this time is this boy you see on the screen." The Handler says pointing to the photo of a man wearing a red scarf while trying to cover his face. "He's done a good job at hiding but our agents were able to find out his whereabouts as well as capture his features well. He looks like a college student but really, he's in his thirties, that is how he cleverly evaded the authorities. Your job is to ensure that this "boy" can no longer operate his circle of criminals by tomorrow. Eliminate any point of contact he may have had with any of his members. We want them to panic, they'll make it easier for us to get rid of them. Be careful though, we don't want to risk the safety of innocent citizens." Nodding his head, Jihoon plans exactly how he's going to execute this mission.
Back home, both you and Jihoon are too occupied with the thoughts of your missions looming over your heads that Anya wonders if everything is back to normal. It feels just like before but when she senses the odd tension between you, she realises it's not, not yet at least. She can tell though, it's all going to be fine, she's seen this happen in her cartoons, so she goes to sleep content that things seem to be going well.
Friday afternoon, Jihoon is disguised and heading towards what seems like an old, narrow street. He stops when he spots him, his target. It's baffling how normal he looks, like a college student on his way home for lunch. Jihoon could just take him out right now and no one would know but the words of The Handler ring in his mind, "Eliminate all points of contact, make sure his death does not trigger his group into action." I need to map his circle, and I should be able to get this done by tonight. Jihoon thinks to himself as he trails his target for the day.
Evening rolls around by the time Jihoon has his target exactly where he wants, away from prying eyes and easy to get rid of, in an old alleyway. Just as his target takes a turn around the corner, Jihoon prepares himself to attack when he finds no one upon turning. It hits him then that this mission has been sabotaged, and these people were far more terrifying than he originally imagined. Just then, he senses a presence from behind and turn just in time to block the knife lunging at him. When he looks up, he finds the same man he followed looking at him with a murderous intent so strong, it suffocates him. Immediately, the man launches into a series of attacks that Jihoon manages to defend easily while questioning how this could have happened. There's no way he sensed me trailing him, Jihoon's eyes widen when he realises that there's only one other possibility, there is someone else who has been watching him. I let my guard down, I did not think of the possibility that there could have been another person, but the fact that I did not sense them proves that they're more skilled than we anticipated. As he berates himself for not discovering this sooner, Jihoon tries to locate the person who's helping this man in front of him. It's at that moment when Jihoon hears a shot fired and he instinctively ducks, dodging the bullet meant for him by a narrow shot. The shooter must have thought they could take him out while he was distracted with the attacks he was dealing with, Jihoon smirks to himself, how unfortunate for them, now I know where they are. Having had enough with the man's petty attacks, Jihoon swiftly knocks him out and runs into the building beside him, using the unconcious man as his shield.
Once inside, Jihoon refocuses, his mission was to eliminate this man and his circle, how convenient that the man's teammate decided to make it easier for him by showing up. Jihoon quickly disposes the man's body along with his disguise and moves to locate his partner. He identified that the shooter was seated at the rooftop of the building right opposite to the one he's currently in. Of course, he must have moved after realising he was caught, Jihoon commends them for trying but it's far too easy for him to recognise the pattern. As he rushes to get to the corner of the building where he assumes the shooter is, Jihoon stops in his tracks when he hears commotion nearby. Nobody else should be here at this time, unless, it's more of their teammates. Jihoon cannot tell if it's good or bad that he managed to encounter so many of the group at once. Deciding to deal with them later, he moves towards the shooter when he sees something flash by from the back of his eye. It stuns him in place, a blade, your blade, to be specific.
What the hell are you doing here? Jihoon realises that it really is you when he sees the shine of your blade again. He got so caught up in his thoughts that the shooter has moved again, and this time, when Jihoon sees the pattern again, he's horrified, because the shooter is moving to a position to shoot you. Jihoon cannot get there in time to stop the shooter, so he turns and runs towards where you are. It's his mission to get rid of this group but at that moment, all he can think of is you, the thought of you getting hurt is unbearable and he sprints just in time to see you finishing up with your target.
You had just eliminated your target when you see Jihoon running towards you like a madman, his sudden appearance leaves you still as you question why he's here. Why does he look like he just saw a ghost? Why is he running like that? As you stand there wondering, you both hear it, the gunshot. It hits you too late that the bullet was aimed at you, you brace yourself for the impact when you feel something push you aside and into the corner where the shooter could no longer aim. Frozen from the impact, it takes you a few seconds to process what just happened and when you look up, you find yourself in Jihoon's arms as he looks like he's also trying to compose himself after the entire fiasco. He saved me, he ran like that and pushed me aside to save me, but why? You look at him in disbelief, unable to comprehend the situation for it all happened too quickly.
Jihoon feels like his heart is going to explode, it was pumping so loud when he was running to get to you in time and it stopped for a second when he thought he was too late, and now, it's racing again but with relief, relief that you're alive. He scans your form to see if you're okay when he spots blood and panics; the bullet had managed to scrape your arm, "You're hurt", he says as he finally sees the look on your face. He can see that you're confused and shocked, but the haze behind your eyes worries him. He calls your name, "Look at me, please."
While trying to understand what happened, you feel your head spin, but when you hear his desperate plea, you look up at him, trying to let him know that you're okay. You can feel the symptoms, the bullet was laced with toxins, probably to make the person weak and take longer to recover. You convey this to Jihoon, "I'll be fine, it was just a graze, I just feel a little dizzy, it's not going to do anything to me." Even as you assure him, you cannot stop thinking of why he saved you or why he is so concerned at this moment, even if he didn't want to kill me himself, there was no need for him to save me, more so by running like that, and so desperately.
Jihoon, not so convinced by your words, opens his mouth to argue when you both sense it, someone is coming. Right, the shooter is still out there, but wait, there's no way they would make a move like this, so direct. It hits Jihoon that this is someone else, shit, there are more of them. Why now? While he's thankful he gets to eliminate this group at once, the situation is different now, you're injured and he cannot focus with you like this.
You can see Jihoon's train of thoughts on his face, how have I never realised he wears his emotions so obviously? Or maybe it is just because he's distracted right now. "Focus, Jihoon." Hearing your words, his eyes sharpen, and the Twilight everyone heard about was back. Without another sound, he moves you towards the small alley nearby, "Don't move, please just stay safe." You're about to retort that you can take care of yourself just fine when your head spins again, reminding you of your current state. When you stay silent, Jihoon takes it as you agreeing with him and turns to go deal with these criminals.
You watch as he puts on another mask and walks into the building, hidden from your place where no one can see you. You see Jihoon swiftly deal with the man who was trying to sneak up on the two of you earlier. Even thought you knew he was a spy, watching him in action makes it all surreal, he is scarily calm and unnervingly smart. His cunningness showing when he tricks one of the other men into leaving his safe position by pretending to be his teammate. A shiver runs down your spine, this is the man you've been married to for a year, the man you've been living with, this man who is eliminating a group of armed men with an ease that only comes with experience, the same man who looked rattled at the thought of you bleeding from a graze. Your heart is filled with mixed emotions as you realise this is far more complicated than it should be.
Just then, you spot the shooter again, only this time, you see another one, opposite to where the one who shot you is positioned. Jihoon knows about only one of them, this second one has just arrived from the looks of it and the thought terrifies you, Jihoon does not know. He doesn't know there's another shooter, he's dealing with multiple criminals— he's vulnerable, you can't even scream for him to hear you because he's too far. Desperate and full of adrenaline, you run towards him when you see this shooter aim. There are no other thoughts in your mind except saving Jihoon as you sprint with all your might and this brings everyone's attention to you.
You cannot reach him fast enough due to the toxins slowing your body so you scream, "There's another shooter to the far left on the opposite side, run!" Just as you finish your sentence, it all explodes, bullets start raining from both sides with the targets being you and Jihoon. Thanks to your warning, Jihoon manages to avoid them and runs into the next street while you hide in the building nearby. With the two of you now separated, Jihoon curses himself for not being able to protect you. You left your safe position to warn him because he did not see the other shooter, it was because of him. You put yourself in danger for him. He cannot just stand there and keep pretending to be okay when he knows you clearly aren't.
He feels his rage grow, towards himself for missing so many signs, at you for putting yourself in danger when you were already injured and at these idiots for trying to hurt you, he moves with more aggression this time, and puts everyone who's in his way down as he searches for you desperately. One of them lunges at him with a knife, stupid, Jihoon thinks to himself, he can see the gun attached at the man's waist, he should have used that instead, oh well, let me teach you before you die. Jihoon blocks the man's pathetic attempt at stabbing him and twists the knife out his opponent's hand, breaking the man's wrist in the process. Jihoon kicks him in the stomach and pulls out the gun he saw earlier and shoots the man in the forehead. He proceeds to use that body as his shield from the shooters while using the gun he acquired to take the others out.
On the other side, you feel your body sway but still better than before and decide to look for Jihoon. You're about to step out of the building when you hear a menacing laugh and you turn around to see a woman looking at you like you're stupid to even try. "Well, well, well, what a damsel in distress we have here. What do you think you can do out there, hm? Oh, is that man your partner?" When you don't reply, she continues, "Or is he your lover? You did run to save him, hm, how stupid. Do you really think you both can leave this place alive? That dumb lanky man is probably already dead by now. Didn't you hear the rain of bullets and screams?" Hearing those words, you glare at her and she smirks, "That hit a nerve, huh? Interesting, but oh well, unfortunately for you, you'll never see your man again, you'll die here now." She snickers, "You both will die here in our hands, maybe you'll see each other in the after life. How romantic, isn't it?" As she finishes, she aims her pistol at you, ready to shoot when a blade hits her palm that is holding the gun and a loud scream echoes in the walls of this abandoned building. She was so busy mocking you that she didn't see you taking your blade out to strike her. Watching her crumble to her knees holding her bleeding palm, it's your turn to walk to her as you speak, "The number one rule when fighting is to never, and I mean never, take your eyes off the opponent. Overconfidence like yours will get you killed within seconds, like now." You end your sentence as you slit her throat with your blade. Blood splatters all over the floor as you turn, determined to bury these criminals underground.
Stepping out, you're immediately attacked by two more people, one lunging at you with with his bare fists while the other was holding a knife. Having anticipated this, you swiftly slide across them in a narrow second making them hit each other instead. Without giving them a chance to recover, you take your blades and slash their throats in one go. This has gotten a lot more bloody than I was expecting, you look at the blood splashed everywhere from all the bloodshed, cleaning up is going to be quite tedious, you sigh, moving onto the next enemy who's charging at you from behind.
Jihoon, on the opposite side of the building you took shelter in, is barging his way through the hoard of bullets by shielding himself with the same man's body when a certain thought makes his blood go cold, why and how are so many of them here? It's like a planned ambush with the way they're positioned, his senses sharpen when he realises there's only one possibility, there's a mole, either from your side or mine. He moves faster, determined to get to you, he refuses to think of the possibility that you're dead, no, she's strong, she can handle these pests, but wait, she's poisoned, a groan resonates from his throat, she'll be okay, she has to be. He keeps repeating those words in his mind as he fight off more of these pests.
You have moved further enough to be in the shooters' line of sight again and this time, you're prepared—you turn to their positions and glare, challenging them to try. Knowing that you've just hurt their egos, you sprint down the alley to get to those shooters, skillfully avoiding their rage of bullets. You step inside the building they're in and look around to see what looks like an old warehouse. You can sense that there are about five of them around, waiting like hyenas for you to step into their trap. They don't seem to realise that you can sense them, I was so distracted that I didn't even sense these people when I first got here, no wonder they have such confidence, well, good for me. You decide to play into their game, let them think they have the upper hand and that you don't know they're waiting, it's going to be easier to deal with them one by one anyway.
Unbeknownst to you, Jihoon has also entered the same warehouse from the other side, there's no one around, but that makes no sense, there's no way they wouldn't have stationed people to protect the shooters. After thoroughly checking and confirming that there really is no one, Jihoon strides towards the stairs to head up to his targets. He hears footsteps rushing down the stairs like they're in a hurry, confused but alert nonetheless, Jihoon takes a defensive position before deeming it better to attack first instead. He waits for the first person to come down before tackling them down with his arm, he swiftly gets rid of them one by one before making his upwards.
Reaching the rooftop, Jihoon can sense the ominous atmosphere—the fact that they have remained here waiting for me proves that they're good with close combat and prepared for it. Taking his own gun out this time, he moves carefully, trying to locate his enemies. He makes eye contact with one of them and in the next moment, bullets fly all over the place while he engages in a battle with the woman. She cannot land a single hit on Jihoon but he's just as frustrated since he hasn't been able to take her down either. Jihoon and the shooter both run out of ammunition and the place is eerily silent when Jihoon remembers that the other shooter hasn't made their presence known but is still very much present. Alert and momentarily unarmed, Jihoon loads his gun quickly while continuously looking over his shoulder for any attacks.
Just as he turns to continue the fight, he hears footsteps, it is you, he can tell from the corner of his eye that your blade is targeting the other shooter, who is now busy trying to fend you off. Relieved that you're okay but horrified that you're fighting a man with a gun with just your blades, Jihoon refocuses on defeating this shooter first so he can get to you in time. He just hopes you don't get hurt until then. Thankfully, the woman he was fighting was distracted with reloading her own gun to attack him while he was distracted by your sudden appearance. She launches into her previous position, determined to shoot him this time but Jihoon had figured out her pattern by now—she moves quick, he'll give her that but the pattern is too obvious to his trained eye, he can tell exactly which position she'll take next and that is enough for him to land a shot straight to her heart, leaving her bleeding to death.
Jihoon confirms her death before whipping around to see you slicing throught the man's chest and he watches as the shooter falls to the ground clutching his bleeding chest before his breath stops. For a moment, there's nothing but silence as you both take in the fact that it's over, and when your eyes meet, it's like your feet have their own mind—Jihoon's legs move of their accord as he rushes towards while and you do the same. You crash into Jihoon's chest as he holds you like he never wishes to let go. You just stay like that for a few moments before moving just enough to look at his face. Jihoon brings his hand up to your face, holding you so gently and the look on his face so fond, "Thank goodness, you're safe." He leans forward until your foreheads touch and it is in that moment that you feel it, he never lied about caring, he always did. The next second, the words are flying out of your mouth before you even realise what you're saying, "I trust you, Jihoon." Jihoon freezes, looking up at you with wide eyes as if he cannot believe what you just said. Realising how abrupt that was, you're about to explain when Jihoon responds, "Thank you for trusting me," he calls your name making you look into his eyes, "I'll explain everything to you, I promise, I don't want to hide from you anymore." Hearing his words, you nod, "I don't wish to hide from you either."
The sound of a dog barking brings you both back to your senses, realising where you are, you look around at the bloody scene before making eye contact and you both shake you heads as a small smile takes up your faces. Despite the circumstances, at least you both now know that things are going to be okay, that you can work this out together.
After ensuring that you eliminated all the members of the group, you and Jihoon split up to go report the unforeseen massacre that occurred. With both of you choosing to conceal the fact that you met on the field, you inform your organisation about the entire incident, mentioning that there was someone else but they were also there for the same mission and were skilled enough to escape from you—of course, Jihoon matches you word to word when reporting to The Handler.
You reach home earlier than Jihoon, seeing Anya already asleep because you were late. Did she even eat anything for dinner? You worry before you spot a sticky note with Jihoon's writing, "I might be late tonight so I made some dinner and put it in the fridge, heat it up and eat it if I'm not home on time." That brings a smile to your face, he's always so attentive, you open the fridge to see that Anya has eaten her portion and you hear your stomach protest with hunger. You heat up a plate of food for yourself and sit down at the dining table, as you take a bite, tiredness finally hits your body. You continue to eat while thinking over everything that happened today, and just as you start to feel concerned about why Jihoon is not back yet, the door opens and he's home.
Jihoon opens the door to find you looking up at him in the middle of taking a bite of the casserole he made this morning and the sight has him so endeared that he automatically smiles, relaxing, because this is home. You startle at the sudden smile, he looked so unbelievably fond at that moment that you choke on the food in your mouth. Seeing you cough violently, Jihoon rushes to get you a glass of water, "Here, slow down, please be careful." Embarrassed, your entire face turns red as you chug down the glass of water he gave you. Jihoon just chuckles, finding you utterly adorable.
Setting your glass down, you tell him, "I heat up some for you too, it's in the microwave." Thanking you, Jihoon gets his own dinner and sits down across you as you both eat in comfortable silence. It's funny how so much has changed in just a few hours—here you are, sitting face to face and eating so peacefully when this morning, neither of you could look at each other properly because of the tension between you.
After putting your dishes away, you and Jihoon settle on the sofa with one thought, we need to talk. "Let me start first, I want to clear the misunderstanding you have regarding spies." Jihoon says, looking at you for permission to tell you his side of things. When you nod, Jihoon smiles and continues, "I know what people say and I know that the government makes it seem like we're here to start a war but trust me when I say this, we are not. The last thing I want is a war, I lost my family to one when I was a child and I do what I do to ensure nobody else has to go through that." That sentence breaks your heart, making you feel guilty for accusing him of the very thing that caused him so much pain. "I was young, I was out playing with friends when it happened, both my parents were killed and I had nowhere to go. I became a soldier to survive and years later I met with the friends I thought I lost that day, only for them to be sent on a mission and die in war too. I decided then that I was going to stop this, I have to do whatever it takes to keep this peace because I don't want any more innocent people to die in the aftermath of political issues."
He pauses when he sees your expression and slowly reaches his hand out towards your cheek, it's only after he wipes the tear off your cheek that you realise you were crying. Hearing him talk about his past and his reasons made you think of your own, how all you ever wanted was to protect your family and the thought brought you to tears without realising. "I'm sorry," you hear him say and look up in confusion, because why is he apologising? "I'm sorry I deceived you, I'm sorry you had to find out like that and I'm sorry you suffered so much because of me." God, if he keeps saying things like that, you're only going to feel even more guilty. "It's not your fault, and besides, I deceived you too." Hearing that, something in Jihoon softens, and he just rubs the back of your hand in comfort.
"It's my turn to explain things, I was young when I started this line of work too, it was just Yuri and me so I had to make money to survive. The reason I took up this job and continue to do it is because I want to keep my brother safe, I want him happy and living a comfortable life. I've been doing my best to keep this peaceful life we've built so I hate it when I see someone who wants to destroy that. It's why I was so angry when I thought that you were one of those people." Jihoon understands everything now, the rage in you that wouldn't subside, the despair he saw in your eyes the night he tried to talk to you, it all makes sense now, and his heart aches for you.
"That day, at the airport, why were you there?" When he hears your question, he looks into your eyes so you can see that he's being sincere, "I was there to protect Maya. You were there for the same reason, weren't you?" You nod in answer, relieved that your assumptions were true. "To think I assumed you were part of Red Circus, I hated you at the time. I hated you for being a criminal, I hated you for wanting to cause harm to citizens and I hated that it was you." Your words hit him like a knife to the heart but he knows it cannot be helped, after all, he thought the same. "I thought the same, although I could not figure out why in the world you would be part of something like that." This time, you look at Jihoon with earnestly, "I don't anymore though, hate you, I mean." You can see the man physically melt at your words and it's so endearing.
"I never hated you, I could never, even when I thought you were a criminal, it's like my heart could not bear the thought of hating you, I was just angry at myself. I'm not telling you this because I blame you but because I want you to know that you have occupied so much of my life that I just cannot think straight. So please, don't blame yourself for feeling what you did, I would have hated me too if I were in your place. You married me because you didn't want people to think of you as a spy, so I cannot imagine how you felt when you found out I was one." Tears stream down your face as you take in what he said, even now, he's worried about how I feel. Jihoon stills when you suddenly wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He can feel your tears drenching his shirt and he just holds you, rubbing your back and patting your head, trying his best to comfort you.
After what feels like an hour, you move away enough to look at him, "So, what now? How do we proceed from here?" Jihoon's eyes suddenly widen and it scares you, "What's wrong?" He remembers now, The Garden, how are you going to deal with them? "How long did your organisation give you to get rid of me? When do you think they'll send other people to do it instead? Wait, would they come after you too if you don't do it?" Seeing him ramble, you interrupt him, "I didn't tell them." It's as if the world stopped the moment you uttered those words, Jihoon turns to you slowly, "What did you say?"
"I said, I didn't tell them."
"What? Why?"
"I couldn't bring myself to."
He knows what that means, he knows what you felt and that is enough to render him speechless.
"What about your people though? Won't they take action too?"
He hears you ask him, "I didn't tell them either."
You look at him surprised and before you can ask him why, he says, "I couldn't bring myself to either."
There's complete silence for a couple of seconds before you both chuckle, "I guess we were both worried for nothing." You shake your head, "So what? Do we just continue our lives like before? Keeping our identities secret?"
Jihoon shrugs, "Well, it's not going to be the same since we know what we do now and I think you too figured out that there'e a mole, but we can try. If you want to, of course."
You smile, "Yeah, I want to, I want to care for you and I want you to care for me."
You remember the last time you fought, "You know, in between, I was so terrified for Anya, I questioned myself if killing you was the only choice because I didn't want to cause her the pain of losing her father. When I think about it now though, I think that was just an excuse, I mean yes, I didn't want to do that to her but I also couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I just didn't want to admit that to myself at that point. I also questioned how she ended up in your care, but then I got home that day to see you looking at her so adoringly that I could tell you cared and that was enough for me."
"You have no idea how grateful I am that you gave me a chance, thank you for trusting me." Jihoon says with a wide smile on his face.
"And thank you for caring and staying." You reply with the same lovesick smile on your own face.
"It's not going to be easy though, if we end up crossing paths like this often, it will get harder to keep this from our teams." You're right, Jihoon gets serious again listening to your concerns.
"It certainly won't but we now that we know, at least we won't be caught off guard." His reasoning makes sense, and it calms you a little.
He calls your name, "I care for you, I want to stay by your side, and I love you. I think I have loved you for a while now, I just didn't realise it until those feelings were put to test like this. These past few days have been hell for me, I don't think I can see you go through such pain ever again so I'll try my best to protect our family. I need you to know this, not because I want you to love me too but because I want you to know that I will always be here, always."
You feel your heart race at his confession, never would you have imagined Jihoon to say something so profoundly emotional and yet, here you are. You think back to all the times you had the chance to end this, to leave him but you didn't, because I couldn't. Your life has always been chaos, you only ever had Yuri and although you love your brother to bits, you never realised how lonely you had been until Jihoon and Anya came into your life. You life is still chaos but there's something special to it now, your adorable daughter brings mischief and adoring husband brings calm that you will never let anyone take from you.
So, when you see Jihoon looking at your intertwined hands and shaking, you know that you love this man as much as he does you. "Jihoon, look at me," his head snaps up so quick you crack a small smile, "You're a fool, a naively annoying fool if you think, for even a second, that I'm not hopelessly in love with you too." Jihoon's eyes water and you squeeze his hand as if to say that you're right there. "I lived a life revolving around my job and when my brother grew up, I would come home to feeling empty because I had nothing to do. Now, I look forward to coming home to you cooking and Anya running around the living room because something that simple brings me immense joy that I cannot even begin to describe. The reason why I felt so betrayed and hurt was because I was already in too deep, you're my family and nothing will change that."
You just barely finished your sentence when you feel Jihoon's hand come up to the back of your head as he crashes his lips onto yours. You can feel the weight of his emotions as he kisses you so deeply yet holds you so gently as if afraid he would hurt you otherwise. You still for a moment before reciprocating his passion as you kiss him back, no longer holding back. You break apart, panting for air as you slowly open your eyes to find Jihoon already looking at you. "I love you." You lean in to gently kiss him, "I love you more."
"Anya loves Mama and Papa." You both startle as you see Anya standing at the door of her bedroom and smiling at you, you were so absorbed in your emotions that neither of you heard her come out. You squeak as you break away from Jihoon, feeling embarrassed that your daughter just saw you kissing and see from the corner of your eye that Jihoon has turned red too. "Anya, why are you up? You should be sleeping." Although he tries to sound stern, his voice gives him away and Anya starts laughing as she runs into your arms. "Anya is so happy that mama and papa are happy."
You're overwhelmed again and when you look at Jihoon, you know he feels the same. Anya jumps up on the couch when she suddenly glares at Jihoon. You see him panic, it's so obvious on his face, "Why is papa not hugging us?" He softens and comes to wrap his arms around both of you as you stay cuddling together until your daughter falls back asleep.
When you hear Anya snoring, Jihoon carefully takes her into his arms and tucks her into bed. You watch him as you think to yourself, he's always been Anya's safe space and he's become mine too, remembering the time you broke down in his arms even when you thought he was the enemy. It wasn't because you were exhausted or let your guard down but because you find sense in his presence. This man, your husband, is the partner you never knew you needed but are grateful to this universe to have brought him to you.
Jihoon turns around to see you staring at him with blatant adoration and something about the way you don't hold back anymore makes him weak in the knees. He walks to you, "Why are you staring at me like that?"
"Seeing you tuck our daughter to sleep just makes me feel so soft and warm, I couldn't help it."
Jihoon stutters for a second before he smiles at you teasingly, "Do you want me to tuck you in too?"
He watches your eyes go wide as you blush and he thinks to himself that you look absolutely breathtaking right now. He tells you as much, "I need to see you like this more often."
Your eyes narrow as you glare at him though he just finds your sulking adorable, he can see you pouting and it makes him chuckle. You cannot possibly let him have all the fun, "You'll need to try harder for that. How about starting with tucking me in like you suggested? Or even better, lay with me and hold me like you did earlier." You don't know what made you feel so bold but the way Jihoon blushes makes it all worth it.
You were joking when you asked him to hold you to sleep but you did not realise how whipped your husband is for you. Jihoon would do anything for you, and so you lay in his arms as he hums softly, content and warm. Sleep hits you slowly as you both fall asleep with the same thought in your heads, We're family, we always will be, and we'll do whatever it takes to protect our home, starting with getting rid of that mole.
IN WHICH Kim Mingyu has been on your mind ever since he first joined the team. Not only is he attractive, but his gameplay makes it impossible for you to look away. You want to get to know him more than anything, only if everything wasn’t so complicated. Despite you thinking otherwise, Mingyu has nothing against you. But with you and Jake constantly hanging out, he has no reason to talk to his coach’s daughter. After all, you’ve always been just a little too out of bounds.
pairing » basketball player!mingyu x coach's daughter!reader
genre » fluff, smut, lil angst
featuring » other svt members, original characters, jungkook, lee heeseung, jake sim, nishimura riki
contains » alcohol consumption, some angst, basketball player!mingyu, coach’s daughter!reader, basketball terminology (nothing that would be too hard to understand tho), reader lives with her dad, no mention of reader’s mom, student!reader, reader in education, Mingyu calls reader Blue, age gap
warnings » SMUT, dry humping, manhandling, body worship, oral (f. rec.), fingering, dirty talk, pathetic!dom!mingyu, soft!dom!mingyu, sub!reader, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, breeding kink, aftercare
word count » 32k
↪ izzy adds... happiest bday to my all time favorite <33 as some of you know I crashed out many times while posting this fic but hopefully all is good now!! Frankly, this fic is very me myself and I but I still hope you get to enjoy this as well <3 Huge shout out to @livmarauder for making this banner it's literally perfect and I cannot get enough of it
playlist | mingyu m.list
The buzzer echoes in your ears. You missed it. You fucking missed it. Doing your best to hide your disappointment, you continue pouring the beer. You can't be mad, not really. You were never supposed to see it either way. With the way your snack bar is stationed — having a view on only half the court unless you step out — it was never meant to be a place you'd watch the game from. But you still hate that you couldn't be a part of the win. You'll just have to live with having no idea what they are talking about once the players join you here.
But if you are honest, you have bigger problems at hand now. Because before you can even blink, the line in front of you is already much longer, everyone asking you for a drink. You'd love to be able to split in half at the moment. It's always like this, and yet you are never ready for it. Rush hour is every halftime and end of the match for you.
You wave your hand to your colleague so she can collect the money, quietly praying for the beer cooler to work faster. There's not much for Dae to do when everyone is waiting for a drink — your specialty. And as much as you love being at the drinks duty, you regret not switching with her every time this happens.
Handing out one beer after another, you listen to the chatters about today's game. There are lot of praises passed around, creating a smile on your face. You might have not seen most of the game, but you know the guys killed it tonight again. How could they not with their talents finally being put to use with their new coach? You might be biased, but you do think they'll take it far this year.
"Sunshine, can you also pour me one when you have time?" You look up to meet your dad's eyes, nodding.
"You'll have to wait," you shrug, softly pointing your head at the line. He nods, waving you off like he doesn't care at all, reminding you to take your time. You wish more people would be like this. At least your family if no one else. But your uncle is a prime example of the behavior your hate when you are already busy. He pushes past the line, handing you his empty pint. "Yeah, yeah," you mumble, placing it down and focusing on the people that came before him.
You're not sure how much time passes, but you sit down again eventually. Plopping down with a heavy sigh, you exchange a glance with Dae. She gives you a sympathetic smile, glancing at your dad who has the same one as he leans against the wall with his beer in hands. "It's going to calm down again now. They won't all be coming at the same time."
You hum back, stretching your hands above your head. "How did it go? Did you finally figure out the rotation?"
"Pretty much," he nods. "I liked how they played today so if it continues like this, we got the perfect core five."
"That's good," your smile grows. "If nothing, then the points show they've gotten better since you started training them."
He rolls his eyes but you see the smile tugging on his lips. You like seeing your dad like this. He's always been happy no matter what category he was training, loving it when he could see the enjoyment on his player's eyes, but there is something different about watching him coach a team full of adults who could really take it far if they want to.
"Let's not assume how the rest of the season will go." You peek over when you hear Jake's voice, a smile on his face. "Who says I won't replace Seungkwan and give us the well deserved win."
"Not if you keep avoiding working out," your dad reminds him and Jake just shakes his head, mounting to you that he is lying.
You chuckle, "right, right."
He steps forward, still smiling as he opens his wallet. "Could you give me two? Promised Heeseung I'll buy tonight."
"He doesn't stay for stretching after trainings but he stays to get drunk?" You shake your head as you take the cash from him. "You should keep an eye on that."
"At least he stays to drink with us and team bond. Nishimura doesn't even look me in the eyes before disappearing."
"I think he is intimidated by you, coach," Jake explains and your dad's eyes widen in the most your dad way you know. He somehow manages to look shocked as well as not surprised at all, offended but also making fun of the situation. You've seen this look a lot. With his eyebrows raised and arms crossed over his chest, he looks exactly the same as whenever you tell him about a dumb date you've been on. The amount of times he's been surprised at something the guys you went out with said or did is not something you could count on both hands. Every time, the conversation ends with the two of you agreeing that guys just need more time to mature.
"By me?" He questions and you laugh as you pour Jake his two beers. "Tell him he'll be running ten extra laps for that." All four of you laugh, including Dae who has far from knowing anything about basketball.
Your dad leaves after a short moment to talk with the rest of the coach staff and some of the players while Jake stays with you, chatting with Dae about their upcoming assignment. You try to listen in but your attention starts drifting elsewhere, the debate about the physics paper they have to submit passing by you completely. Zoning out, you stare at the nearest wall, thinking about anything but the situation around you. For the first time today, you get to turn off and not worry about whether you gave the right change or not.
You are glad Jake and Dae found something in common when you introduced them for the first time. If they didn't, you'd never be able to just shut off like this, worried it would get awkward and would try your hardest to keep the conversation going. But when they met for the first time and found out they share a physic class, all your worries disappeared as you watched them talk about their lessons. Both of them still rely on you sometimes but you'd say they are good friends now.
It's good knowing your friends are getting along.
"I love you so much," Heeseung sings as he comes into your sight, making you snap out of your thoughts. You blink up at him, seeing four more players behind him. The foam on his beer has already fallen off but he doesn't seem to care, taking his drink from Jake with a grin on his face.
"Can I get a better one if I also tell you I love you?" Seungcheol smiles at you and you shake your head, standing up again and getting four pints ready, assuming all of them are here for the same thing.
"You can try," you shrug, a smile tugging in the corner of your lips as well. It only makes his smile grow wider.
"Sure he could," Joshua wraps his arm around his shoulder. "If he wants to die while explaining to his coach why his daughter is suddenly pregnant and needs to leave school."
"Now now," you quickly interrupt him, your eyes widening. "Don't even joke about that."
"Exactly," Seungcheol joins you, shaking the younger man off him. "If I knock anyone up in the near future I'll assume it's your curse and what will you do then? I don't have the time or resources to raise a kid right now."
"At your grown age?" Heeseung pipes from the side, grinning through his drink. Seungcheol ignores his comment but you chuckle.
"And here I was going to give you a tip," he sighs.
"Yeah? What kind?" Dae tilts her head innocently and you have to hold back a laugh, handing all four players their drinks while the eldest pays for them while exchanging a few words with Dae that you can't catch. You think you're glad you don't by the way her ears turn red.
Everyone on the team has always been friendly with you. Whether it's because you sell them alcohol or that your dad is their coach, you have no idea. But it doesn't really matter. As long as they keep being nice to you, then you don't need to know. It still feels a little weird being a part of conversations like these with them as if it was completely normal, but you're trying to get over that. And honestly, with the captain's welcoming smile and kind words — despite his friends joking about him making you pregnant — it's all a lot easier.
You'd say you are pretty close with the team. You are able to hold small talks and they often hang out with you and Dae here after their games. So while you can't say you consider all of them your friends, you aren't strangers either.
Well, expect for one man on the team.
Possibly the only one you've ever wanted to be close with.
It was a year ago, you think. Around the time the previous season started. The team gained a few new players — including Jake and Riki who you'd say you are the closest to out of all of them — and your eyes immediately locked in on one of them.
Kim Mingyu, tall, tanned, and handsome, was impossible not to look at.
It only took one game and you were hooked, unable to look away from him whenever he was on the court and you had some time to watch. His smooth movements, the control he has of the ball, and the incredibly beautiful smile on his face when he scores a point all made you so much more interested.
But you never got to talk to him as you wished you would. Because right after the game ended, you saw him with the only person you didn't want to see him with — Jungkook. Watching the guy you have a silly little crush on laughing with your ex boyfriend might have been the best way to get you to turn around again and reconsider talking to him.
You have no idea what or if Jungkook ever told him anything about you, but with the way Mingyu never even tried to talk to you outside a few hellos and ordering unlike the rest of the team, you think it's safe to assume he doesn't think of you nicely.
You and Jungkook didn't exactly end it on bad terms, you just both had different views on things. All you wanted was to focus on your studies and to do something with yourself, while all he wanted was a family to settle with as soon as possible. At twenty, the idea of turning your life around to make a family with your boyfriend was wild to you. It was simply never supposed to happen. You never spoke badly of him after the breakup but you also never talked to him again, so you have no idea how he and his friends look at you.
It's as if you've manifested them, the two of them coming into your sight of view. Jungkook doesn't come closer but you see him standing in the hall while Mingyu walks over to you. "I'll take two, please." He only meets your eyes briefly before Seokmin tugs him into their conversation. You glance at him a few times as you pour the beers, watching the easy smile on his face. Despite knowing it's not going to happen, you can't help but admire him. He is so handsome, it's unfair to you. How are you supposed to not look at him when he looks like that?
You quote the price to him, just like you've done many times today. Your fingers brush when he hands you the cash and you feel like you're going insane, the nervousness you suddenly feel driving you crazy. As if it wasn't enough, he practically holds your hand in his as he takes the drinks from you. You have to look up at Jungkook to remind yourself this is nothing, that Mingyu thinks who knows what of you and it's only your own delusion making this into something that it's not.
He doesn't stay for any longer, saying his goodbye to the rest of the team and leaving to hang out with your ex. Dae nudges you and you take your eyes off him, offering her a brief smile. It's been like this for a year now, so why do you unconsciously keep hanging onto a thread of hope?
"Sunshine." You nod when you hear your dad's voice, taking his pint from him to pour him his drink. "Thank you. What are you all standing here for?" He nods towards the team, all of them holding their own beer. "Good game today but how do you want to bond the team together if you aren't drinking with us?"
"We were just about to join you, coach," Seungcheol grins. "How could we possibly afford to miss the president's drunk blabbing about our game?" Your dad shakes his head and Seungcheol sends both you and Dae a wave, saying his see you later before leaving with the team to join the coaching staff in their staff room. You're sure they'll be back for another round but for now, as soon as you hand your dad his drink and he leaves as well, you are left alone with Dae and the thoughts of how much you want Mingyu to talk to you.
When your dad told you you'll be home alone on the weekend because he's got away games, you found yourself questioning how far you're willing to go for a stupid crush. You always liked watching sports, but not to the point you'd come out of your way for them. If you were already coming to the game to sell drinks, then you wanted to watch as well. If you were hanging out with your friends and you happened to find a group of people playing street basketball, you'd watch as well. But you never went to watch a game in your free time just because.
Which is also why your dad was so surprised when you asked him to come with instead of enjoying the free house. Still, he wouldn't say no to you, not even if he wanted to.
Humming along to your playlist, you watch the road ahead as your dad drives. He follows Joshua's car, who's taking most of the bench players except for Riki who sits behind you. Your dad's way of taking revenge and trying to intimidate him, you're certain. It seems to be working since he hasn't said a word ever since you picked him up, looking into his phone the entire time. No doubt texting his best friend.
There are two more cars behind yours — Seungcheol's and Mingyu's. You feel bad a little. If you weren't going, they could easily fit into just three cars and everyone would be comfortable. Your dad assured you they were planning on driving four cars either way and there is no need for you to worry but you can't help it.
"Jake's asking if we can stop by the nearest gas station." It's the first time you hear Riki's words since you said hellos and both you and your dad glance at him. You see him swallow his nerves when your dad's eyes find his, unable to hold back your laugh. It's funny to see him so freaked out when you know your dad is the sweetest person you know. Most of the players know it too, you're sure. It's only a matter of time before Riki realizes it too.
"Will we be on time?" You ask, biting back your laugh.
"We should be," you dad nods. "Let the others know as well. If they don't want to come with they can drive straight to the stadium but they better not get lost."
"Yes, coach," Riki nods eagerly and your lips form a straight line, your eyes closed as you do your best not to let the laugh out. Turning your head towards the window, you hide your smile behind your hand. You already know this will be a fun trip.
You all park in a line and Jake immediately rushes out, not bothering to look back once as he heads straight for the bathroom. Riki steps out as well, using the opportunity to breathe properly without your dad near. Shaking your head, you stretch your arms over your head, melting into your seat.
A knock on your window interrupts you and you glance to the side, your eyes widening when you see Mingyu leaning down besides you. Your dad rolls the window down and you want to curse him out for not keeping the barrier between you and him up. "I'm grabbing a coffee, do you want anything, coach?" He asks, his hands bracing the edge of the open window as he looks inside, and you can't help but watch his toned arms.
It's insane how invisible he makes you feel. You become one with the seat, looking down into your lap as your dad refuses his offer. A beat of silence passes and you look up again, finding Mingyu's eyes on you, waiting for your answer. "Oh," you breathe out. The feeling of invisibility disappears instantly. "Could you get me an ice coffee? I'll give you the money, wait."
He shakes his head, straightening his back again. "Don't worry about it," he brushes you off and leaves before you can argue further.
You pick your purse from the floor either way, finding your wallet. "He's not going to accept it," your dad says simply. You meet his eyes, tilting your head slightly. "I've tried before as well. He even bought me lunch one time last year when I was subbing for their assistant coach and he refused to take any money from me. I think he likes treating people."
"I don't want to owe him, though."
"You can give the money to me then and I'll do my best forcing it to him. If I fail, I'll just keep the money and we'll all be happy."
"Listening in on other people's conversation is not a great look, Lee," your dad warns him. Heeseung just smiles in return, copying Mingyu's pose from before and leaning down onto the window.
"Isn't it great when I overhear our opponents tactics, though?"
"You're terrible," you shake your head at him with a laugh.
"Tell me you use your time for better things as well. Like, for example, learning our tactics."
"You know I only do my best, coach," Heeseung assures him. "Which is why we've been singing out lungs out the entire ride." When your dad gives him an annoyed look, he clears his throat, immediately switching the playful vibe to a more serious one. "We'll focus on it for the rest of the drive." After one last look from your dad, he runs away again, mumbling something about starting to get it as he approaches Riki.
You scroll through your playlist, picking the songs for the rest of the ride as you wait. Jake comes back shortly after with a new hat, that you rather not question where he got from, and Mingyu right after him. He hands you your ice coffee and when you try paying him back, he dismisses you just like your dad said he would. A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you open the can, thanking him while Riki takes a seat in the back of the car again. You keep your eyes on the older man, your hands wrapped around the cold drink, cooling yourself at least that way when your entire body feels so hot.
You'd like to say you don't think about Mingyu. In fact, you'd love to be able to say thinking about the way he is best friends with your ex made you snap out of it and you weren't looking at him as anything other than one of your dad's players.
But you apparently have no control over your emotions because while your head tells you that's an enough reason for you to give up on the idea of him, your heart does the exact opposite and just keeps thinking about him the entire car ride.
With your music on and free time, it doesn't take much for you to start daydreaming. A certain basketball player who towers over you and has arms the size of your head keeps lingering in your mind, all sorts of scenarios taking over you. If your dad and Riki manage to exchange some words, you don't hear any of them. All you can focus on is how great you know you'd be together if only things were a little different.
Shifting in your seat to make yourself more comfortable, you force yourself out of it, staring at the road ahead instead.
♡⸝⸝♡⸝⸝
It's a chaos as soon as you arrive at the stadium. While the guys go find their changing room — which you genuinely hope they'll be able to as the map at the entrance wasn't any helpful — your dad tries to convince the organizer to let him have two assistant coaches. It's not against the rules, you know that, so why is it that the opposite team's coach has so much trouble with letting you in?
"Okay," the organizer sighs. "We'll need to see your coach license and it won't be any problem. I'll talk it over with the Tiger's coach. As you said, the rules state up to maximum of eight extra people accompanying the coach and team members."
"Oh," you breathe out, panicking as you glance between the stranger and your dad. You do not have a coaching license. Why would you? You stopped being involved in this sport back when you were fifteen. Your dad realizes it as well. Deep down he knew trying to let you in on the bench was a bad idea since if anyone wanted to check, they'd know you have no previous experience. Still, he wanted to try in case he could have his little girl beside him during the game.
"To be honest, I think it'll be better if you just do it with Seojin. The two of you work well together and it'd be a chaos if there were three of us. I'll be watching from the audience," you smile, briefly stroking your dad's arm. Looking over at the organizer, you thank him again for trying to hard to make it work for you both.
"If that's what you guys want to do," he nods, pointing towards the audience entrance and telling you to go up the first stair you see. You nod, giving your dad a quick goodbye before disappearing into the hallway.
You need to hurry if you want to grab a good spot in the front. It's still early, forty minutes until the game officially starts, but people are already coming in and you don't want to risk a good spot. Not today when you already came all the way here to watch the team play.
Rushing through the hall, you don't pay attention to where you are going, accidentally bumping shoulders with one of the players. "Shit, sorry," you apologize quickly before glancing up, your eyes slowly trailing up his figure until they settle on the chocolate eyes you know so well.
Mingyu's eyes wander all over your figure as well as he shakes his head softly, assuring you it's okay. Look at where you are coming from and then back at you, he tilts his head in confusion. "Where are going? the court is the other way around."
"Ah. The audience— I'm going to watch from the seats."
He hums and you want to melt into floor beneath your feet. It's embarrassing. In the past year, you haven't talked to him outside of exchanging hellos and grabbing his order. You have no idea how you're supposed to talk to him like this, how to make it seem like you aren't an awkward loser. Even though, honestly, you might be.
A part of you wonders how he sees you. If your interactions today made his opinion on you final and he can now finally say with no trouble that you are weird and he's glad he never spoke to you before.
"Okay," he nods, and you swear you aren't imagining the emptiness of his words. Why even ask in the first place? You raise your head to find him looking at you, his eyes unlike his words the opposite of empty. You frown without properly realizing what you're doing, questioning why he is staring at you. "Your eyes," he points out, "they have a bit of yellow in them."
You blink up at him. Out of all the things you expected him to say, commenting on the color of your eyes was on the bottom of the list. "I…I guess?"
"Didn't you say you'd practice free throws before we finish changing?" Joshua calls as he nears the two of you, the rest of the team right behind him. Mingyu looks at them and takes a step away from you, naturally falling into pace with them and excusing how it's not his fault he couldn't even get on the court yet. You think you see him glance at you one more time before giving the boys his full attention but you're honestly not sure. It could be just your head playing tricks on you.
"Cheer loudly for us, okay?" Jake smiles at you as he passes you and you give him and encouraging nod, wishing them all good luck. The hallway gets empty again and you get back to why you found yourself here in the first place. You need to find good seats.
You sit right above their bench, second line. Most of the first line is already filled and you honestly don't want to be sitting between men your dad's age who have been eyeing you ever since you started wandering around the seats. So, you decide for a seat still close to the players but also comfortable. You'll just have to hope your luck isn't terrible and you won't find yourself squeezed between someone weird after all.
Your dad finds you with his eyes as soon as he orders for Seungcheol to lead the stretching, offering you one of his smiles. You return it, smiling at Seojin, his assistant coach, as well. He's been friends with your dad for as long as you can remember, and it's nice seeing them coach together now. Seojin has always trained the younger kids, teaching them the basics of basketball and how to handle a ball, but ever since the men's team has got a new coach, the entire staff needed an update as well. And from what you know, Seojin has always been on top of your dad's list.
"Is this seat taken?" You look up upon hearing a woman voice, relief washing over you immediately.
"Please, take it." She laughs softly, thanking you as she folds her jacket in her arms and sits down, resting her bag between her legs. She doesn't look much older than you. Twenty four if you had to guess. She is pretty, with her brown hair in a ponytail going down to the middle of her back, matching eyes gazing into yours and an adorable smile. You can imagine how easy it's for her to have guys folding at her feet. Especially if she is into their sports. "Who are you here for?"
"SK Knights," she answers, her eyes trailing the players on the court. "You?"
"Same," you grin, doing the same. "My first away game with them, kinda nervous," you joke and thankfully, she matches your humor, chuckling as she wishes you good luck. "I don't think I've ever seen you on their home games?"
"It's only been a few weeks since I started cheering for them," she explains. "I got interested when I saw them beat my brother's team. He hates them now, obviously."
"Obviously," you nod, unable to hide your smile. It's probably the excitement you feel from knowing you'll be able to talk about the game with someone similar to you and not a fifty year old man staring at your body instead of the game that makes you this giggly. You extend your hand out to her, your name falling off your lips.
"Bora," she shakes your hand with a smile. The two of you watch as Seungcheol controls the free throw drills before she nudges you with her shoulder, bringing your attention back to her. "So which one is it?"
"What do you mean?" You blink up at her.
"Oh come on," a knowing smile spreads on her lips as she eyes you up and down. "Sisters usually aren't that immersed into their brother's games — speaking from experience — so I crossed that option out. And that look in your eyes doesn't look like you're deeply analyzing the forms of the players or anything."
"Oh," you breathe out, glancing back at the court. Have you been looking at Mingyu without noticing? You did watch him and cursed a little under your breathe when he missed the shoot but were you that obvious? You quickly shake your head, getting the thoughts out of your head. There is no reason why you would be looking at him differently, you remind yourself. You have nothing to worry about. "The coach."
"The coach?" She blinks and you can tell she is surprised. "Well, you go girl then," she laughs quietly. "How big of an age gap is that?"
"God no! Not like that!" You interrupt her before her mind can wander further. "He is my dad. That's why I'm here," you finish your thought.
Bora sighs in what you could only classify as relief, "That makes so much more sense."
"And we have thirty years between us so please."
"Some girls are into that," she shrugs. "I couldn't but how am I supposed to know what your range is."
You think about it but don't answer her, your mind only coming up with the five years older player with annoyingly beautiful eyes and perfectly white teeth he shows every time he smiles. That seems like a reasonable difference. The last time your boyfriend was five years older than you it might have not lasted long but who ever said you are one to learn from your mistakes? You'll gladly try again and better if Mingyu lets you.
"Do you have a player you are here for? Or is it just the team in general?"
You watch her eyes flicker to the players, trying to follow her line of sight. But with everyone so close to each other right now, it's hard. "I think it was number twelve that caught my attention at first. But the entire team is great and I genuinely just want to watch a good game."
"Seungkwan?" Your eyes widen, less in a surprise and more in a pure excitement. Just based on what you know about him, you know he'd love her. But then again, who wouldn't? Looking at her, you might fall as well. "You should get his number after the game!" You encourage her. "You can come with me after and I'll introduce you."
"Please," she shakes her head, laughing. "I don't need his number. I'll be happy watching from the side lines and cheering the team on while my brother prays for my and their down fall. And if I were to get anyone's number tonight," she meets your eyes with a soft smile, "It'd be yours."
You shake your head at her as you pull your phone from your pocket, gladly handing it to her. Looking forward to all the games the two of you can watch together from now on, you are happier and happier you decided to join today's game.
The dopamine you feel as soon as the game starts is much bigger than you expected. The starting five is the same as at the last game — Seungcheol as center, Mingyu and Seungkwan as guards, and Jeonghan and Hansol playing forward. It worked last time, and with every inch of your body you hope it does today as well.
They had advantage last time, playing on home land, so if they work it out this time as well it'll mean your dad found the core five. Ever since he started coaching them two months ago, he kept on trying different rotations, trying to learn what worked together and what didn't. You watched him sit over his notes at home late at night sometimes and gave him your two cents when you had something to offer.
You were the one to point out how well Seungkwan plays when he has Hansol on the team with him, how relieved he seems knowing they have a strong defense that allows him to make risky plays. You're glad you did. They seem way more stable now.
You cheer for the team along with the rest of your section, frowning when they lose the ball, and raising your hands in the air when they score a point. It's incredibly loud around you but you don't mind, only focused on the play. Your dad has never been one to argue with referees or yell at his players about what they should do when they are in the zone, and that hasn't changed with the men. It's not your dad's voice that keeps echoing in your ears. But there one — two actually. Seungcheol leads his team on the court, with the help of Mingyu, who isn't scared to call for a ball or suggest a play.
Without having to see his face, you know your dad is proud. You know exactly what kind of look he has because the same one is on your face. There is a weird sense of accomplishment knowing they are doing well.
It's a close match, no one letting the other team get too far ahead. As soon as the gap widens more than they'd like, they pull a new move and turn it around again, leaving the entire audience in chaos. You watch with wide eyes, unable to take your attention off. This has got to be one of the best games you've ever seen. It makes sense why they play in the league now. While you were always a fan thanks to your little crush and one of your closest friends being on the team, it's moments like these that remind you the players aren't just hot but actually talented.
You know Bora feels it too, loud encouragements leaving her lips every time one of the Knights gets the ball. The team work is amazing, their passes perfect and shots clean. You can tell they are in a zone, likely only seeing the ball and the rest of the players on the court.
It's the second quarter that the opponents defense starts to be more aggressive, the referees having to stop the game because of fouls before you can comprehend anything. Luck seems to be on your side through, because every time they foul, it happens to be Mingyu they make contact with. Your smile grows more and more as you watch him take his place at the free throw line, knowing he'll make it without having to look.
If you know anything about him, it's that his cleanest shots are from the free throw line. You've never seen him miss in a game, but it's not only that. You know his stats. 98% success rate in free throws is fucking amazing. Based on the look on the opponent's faces as they take their positions, you know they realize it too.
He isn't missing.
Your section grows quiet as Mingyu dribbles the ball beside his leg briefly, getting the right grip of the ball before holding it in both hands. The ball leaves his fingertips and your eyes follow it eagerly, the loudest cheers leaving your lips when it goes straight in. Glancing at the score board, you high five with Bora when you see the 43:33. They made it to the ten point gap.
You seriously couldn't be prouder.
It's Riki's eyes you find first when the halftime begins. Jake joins him right after, both of them yelling at you how they hope you know they'd play way better if they were on the court before your dad dismisses them. You laugh, watching them get scolded over not knowing when to stop. It's all playful, they know it too, but it still must look heavy to everyone who doesn't know your dad personally. Thankfully, a lot of the people in your section have left when the second quarter ended to go to the toilet or buy drinks.
"You guys seem to be close," Bora nudges your shoulder and you roll your eyes with a scoff. Encouraging her to stand up, you both walk to the railing at the front, leaning forward and looking down at the players.
"We are close in age, it was natural," you explain, smiling at the two youngest
"If it isn't our two biggest fans," Seungcheol comes into view, offering you both a smile. "I'm pretty sure I could only hear your voices throughout the game." You doubt that's true but with the confident grin on his face, he could make you believe a lot. He looks around at his teammates to add to his words before he opens his mouth again, "Shouldn't we know the name of our biggest fan?"
Exactly what you expected. You shake your head at him as Bora introduces herself, praising their game play in the first half. You take the opportunity and scan the court with your eyes until you find what you've been looking at. You meet Mingyu's eyes briefly, smiling at him. A smile appears on his lips in return and it's impossible how weak your heart suddenly feels. Jesus. You need to get a grip.
His eyes don't stay on you for long though, the warm feeling in your chest leaving as soon as it came when he focuses his attention on Heeseung and calls him over so he'd practice passes with him. You're used to this, though. It'd be weirder if he kept his focus on you. You tear your eyes off him when Bora asks you if you want her to get you a drink and shake your head, joining her conversation with Seungcheol and Joshua.
Your eyes trail to number 17 every now and then, but you don't meet his eyes again until the very end of the halftime when you tell them all good luck.
You say your goodbye to Bora at the entrance after the happy win, your grin growing wider when you see her talking with Seungkwan before leaving, praising his game all over again. He seems frustrated, and you just know he'll be thinking about the interaction for a while. When he asks her if she'll be in the stands tomorrow as well, it only confirms everything.
"Let's go, we need to settle in," your dad calls for everyone to gather and they listen. The cars fill shortly after, Jake joining you this time so Riki won't be alone anymore. It's not like he was since you were in the car as well, but honestly, you enjoyed the tension between him and your dad too much to actually provide him some of the support Jake will by sitting in the back with him.
This time, your car leaves first. "We need to rearrange the rooms when we arrive," your dad reminds you and both of the guys peer up from their phones.
"Why?"
"I was booking for twelve, not thirteen. And I know since Seokmin ended up not coming today there is an empty bed, but it'd be uncomfortable having our only girl room with three men."
"Dad, I'm fine—"
You don't get to finish your sentence as he interrupts you. "It's uncomfortable for me."
You chuckle, shaking your head. "I'm okay sharing the room with the guys. We are all adults and I know them."
"Yeah, that's what I'm worried about the most. We should switch our room with yours so she can room with me and Seojin," he suggests, glancing at Jake in the back through the rear view mirror. "Heeseung can go instead of Seokmin and the two of you will take our room."
"No," you stop him immediately. "Dad, I'm not sharing a room with you and Seojin. That'd be uncomfortable for me. Let me room with the guys instead. It's fine."
He hesitates and you can see all kinds of thoughts running through his head as he stares at the road ahead. "Okay," he finally sighs. First win of the night for you. "You can take my room with one of the guys, but I'm not having you stay in a room with three of them."
"Yes, sir," you laugh.
"Shall we room together?" Jake leans forward, holding onto the seat in front of him. You glance back at him, nodding without a second thought.
"Sounds good."
"Wait, does that mean Heeseung and I will be in the room alone or what?" Riki leans forward as well and your dad's grin widens. Oh good god.
"No. Heeseung will sleep in the four people room like I said. The room switch also still stands. Just this time, you'll be the one in the room with us and not my daughter."
You watch as Riki's face gets pale, holding back a laughter. You can practically see the curse on his lips, needing to look away to hold it in. Things may not be working out for Riki, but this is one of the funniest trips you've ever had.
♡⸝⸝♡⸝⸝
Despite your dad's stare, Jake helps you carry your bag up to your room. You immediately jump on the closest bed, your arms and legs stretched out. "You wanted to room with me because you knew the room for coach staff would be the biggest one, didn't you?" You prompt yourself up to look at him and he laughs, dropping your bag besides your bed.
"Obviously. What did you expect? That I would want to share a room with three stinky men instead of enjoying my free space? Absolutely not."
You laugh as well, nodding. "Valid point."
"I'll go shower first, okay? I need to get all this sweat off me."
"Sure," you nod. "Go ahead."
"This is also what I love about this room," he says as he stretches his hands above his head, going to check out the bathroom. "I can just shower without waiting for everyone else to get it over with because they love to make things by age order."
"I hope you like using me to your advantage," you shake your head with a smile, taking out your phone from your pocket and looking at messages you missed while you were at the game.
"It's the best!" Jake yells before the bathroom door shuts behind him, the sound of the shower being turned on coming shortly after.
Jake has a towel wrapped around his waist when he comes back, apologies leaving his lips as he rushes to his bag to get a set of fresh clothes. You sigh heavily, ignoring his presence and continuing to scroll on your phone. He is gone again in a second anyway. He doesn't close the bathroom door fully this time, though, wanting you to hear him. "The guys have texted about wanting to go out for drinks. Do you want to come with? It'll be fun."
"Everyone's going?" You ask back and he agrees. Thinking about it for a moment, you go through all the possibilities of how tonight could go.
One, you get awfully drunk and embarrass yourself in front of everyone.
Two, you get awfully drunk and give into Seungcheol's joking and flirt back with him, all of it leading to one big, drunk, mistake.
Three, you get awfully drunk and call your ex just to ask him about what him and his friends think of you so you can know what your chances with Mingyu are.
Four, you get awfully drunk and confess your feelings to Mingyu, who will then turn you down and you'll spend the rest of the night heartbroken, not even wanting to come to the game tomorrow. Things will be weird, he'll talk to you even less than before, your dad will see that something is going on, and you'll have to explain to him what happen and feel embarrassed all over again.
Yeah, you don't think you want to drink tonight.
"I'll pass!" You call back at him. "I don't feel like drinking tonight."
He peers from the bathroom, fully dressed now. "Just come and don't drink then? I'd feel weird leaving you here alone while we are out having fun."
You wave him off. "It's okay. I won't stay here. I wanted to go out and explore the city a bit so you don't have to worry about that," you assure him. "You guys go have fun and I'll see you in the morning. Hopefully I won't be cleaning your puke by then."
"I promise you you won't," he laughs. "If you get bored and change your mind, just call me and I'll tell you where we are so you can come hang out, okay?"
"Okay," you nod.
Standing up from your bed, you reach for new clothes in your bag as well, going to steal the shower for yourself now.
You don't hear Jake leaving the room through your playlist, but when you come out again twenty minutes later, he is nowhere to be seen. You look at the time on your phone, deciding to go out as well and have something for dinner when you see the 7:53. It surprises you how fast time passes, but then again, it was a long game, and even longer settling into your hotel rooms.
It's only the end of March but the cold air has already been replaced. You brought a jacket with yourself in case you'd get cold but you don't think you'll be needing it after all. Walking through the quiet streets, you admire the city slowly. You've always loved exploring new places, so tonight is only looking more and more perfect. There is no rush, no one telling you to stop taking pictures of random stuff and just hurry so you can have dinner already, and you love that about it the most. You're glad you decided not to go for drinks with them tonight.
A part of you feels disappointed, the hope you still have for you and Mingyu lingering and telling you to go so you can get to know him more. But a bigger part of you knows you shouldn't. All your worries earlier were right, and you're not sure how you'd behave if the guys got you drunk. Kim Mingyu is hot when you are sober. You don't want to find out what you think of him when you're wasted.
Snapping a picture of a fountain you pass, you hide your phone in your pocket again when your eyes fall to a small restaurant nearby, the atmosphere pulling you in immediately. The only thing better than amazing food is amazing food with a nice vibe.
Jake and Riki both send you videos from the bar as you have your dinner, making you laugh out loud. One of the servers looks at you weirdly but you do your best not paying it any attention, refusing to let this good night be ruined by anything.
You take a different route on your walk back, checking your phone's map every once in a while just to make sure you aren't going in a completely different direction.
It's when you see an outside basketball court that you stop in your track completely, the urge to go and play growing with each second you're looking at it. It's still far so you can't see if anyone is there or not, but you surely hope there is.
It's been a while since you last played. Sure, there were PE lessons in high school and you'd play sometimes then, but it's been almost ten years since you played properly. You don't regret quitting back then, you still believe it was the right decision. Pushing yourself into doing something that was no longer fun would have only made you hate the sport, and you never wanted that to happen. You prefer this more — the feeling of still caring for the sport and wanting to play at times like these.
The sound of dribbles reaches you before you can see anyone. You debate texting Bora if she's free and doesn't want to come meet you so the two of you could play together, but as soon as your eyes land on the only person occupying the court, you rethink it. It would be fun to play with her and get to know her more, but if you're honest, you are more interested in playing and getting to know the person practicing free throws.
"I thought you guys went out for drinks," you say softly, trying not to scare him by suddenly breaking the silence you are sure he's gotten used to. Despite your attempt, you watch as he flinches when your voice reaches him, the ball changing trajectory and missing the hoop. "Sorry."
"No worries," he mumbles, jogging for the ball again. "They did go. I think Seungcheol said the bar was like five minutes from the hotel." You nod, awkwardly standing on the side as he comes back to the free throw line before locking his eyes with yours. "Wanna play?"
Before you can think it through, you are nodding, wanting nothing more. That's why you came here after all — to see if there was anyone you could play with. You surely didn't expect it'd be a league player but he'll have to do this time.
Mingyu watches you as you rest your jacket on a nearby bench before coming to him. He hands you the ball and steps aside so you can shoot as well. You seem nervous but he doesn't point it out, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. He takes the sight of you in as you stand at the line, trying to get into the same position you've seen him take many times during today's game. Your shirt rides up slightly but it's barely noticeable since a bit of your stomach was already revealed. You're wearing an off-shoulder blue shirt — a different style from the red tank top he saw you in at the game — that you tucked into what he assumes is your bra on one side, your jeans hugging your stomach unlike the baggy bottoms.
Your hair is the only thing still same, the brown locks reaching down your back. It's simple, and yet he can't help but think about how much he loves your outfit. Blue suits you.
The ball leaves your hands but doesn't go as you'd like, missing the hoop. You close your eyes shut in defeat, slowly trailing to pick it up again. "You need more power, Blue. Otherwise it was great."
You look over your shoulder when you pick up the ball, blinking at him confusedly. "Blue?"
"Oh," he breathes out, realizing he let the nickname escape. "That was just—" he hesitates as he takes a place at the free throw line again, extending his hands forward for you to make a pass to him. You do, giving him the ball and slowly coming to his side. "I noticed you wear it a lot, it kind of escaped."
It's you who is breathing out a quiet 'oh' this time, your heart doing weird back flips at the mention of him noticing what you usually wear. It's shocking since you always thought he avoided looking at you as much as he could. "I see."
His eyes find yours again as he takes a step to the left, encouraging you to come closer to him. He dribbles the ball besides him briefly before taking his position, letting you watch him from up close as the ball leaves his fingers again, this time landing in the hoop perfectly. You smile at the sight, unable to hide how you feel as he comes to stand under the hoop, passing you the ball.
You stand with the ball in your hands for a moment, trying to figure out what he's doing. "Come on, Blue. You just saw how it's done. You can do it too if you try. We aren't moving on until you make it in."
You knew you wouldn't need your jacket but now he just confirmed it. There is no way you'll get cold tonight when he makes you feel so hot, your entire body heating up over his words. Come on, Blue. Does he know you are crazy for him? If he did maybe he'd pay more attention to what he says. Playing with you is one thing, but trying to help you like this on top of giving you a nickname? He isn't fair to you at all.
You do your best aligning your arms perfectly, watching the hoop in front of you as the ball leaves your hands. As soon as it does, you know you missed. It felt wrong. Just like you thought, the ball falls short again. Mingyu catches the ball with ease, passing it to you right away. "Are you sure you want to be here all night? I'm not making it in. The hoop is too high."
"You are making it," he shakes his head. "What would your dad say if he saw you whining like this? The hoop is too high? Don't play dumb now." He tilts his head and it's the pretties you've ever seen him. With his dark short hair, a knowing raised brow, a comfortable sweats and a black tank, he is absolutely gorgeous. Maybe your crush on him isn't as little as you've been convincing yourself. You are obsessed. Obsessed with how he watches you right now, how he looks, and how he talks with you.
"I'm not playing dumb," you argue but still listen to him and try to get into position again.
"Then you're not as smart as I always thought you were."
God fucking damn it.
You are in no way Mingyu's strongest soldier, and he just keeps proving you that.
Shooting again, you get a better feeling than before. You miss again, but this time the ball at least hits the hoop. Maybe he is right and you can do this. "What happens when I get it in?" You wonder as he passes you the ball back.
You hold the ball under your arm while he thinks, waiting for his answer. "We move on to a real game. Match for ten points, hm?"
"I'm supposed to try to match a league player?"
"You came here to play, didn't you, Blue?"
You hesitate, averting your eyes from him. "This just seems like an unfair bet for you to jerk your ego," you mumble under your breath, shooting again. This one is terrible and you both know it but he doesn't say anything about it, simply passing you the ball again.
"It gets easier without all the complaining," he points out and you scoff, ignoring him as you try again.
It takes two more bounces off the hoop, but by your third try, the ball makes it in. You cheer loudly when it does, your hands raised in the air in celebration. Mingyu carries a similar proud smile on his face as he picks the ball again and dribbles over to you. "I knew I still got it," you scoff playfully, looking up at him to meet his eyes.
"Of course you did," he shakes his head, the grin never disappearing from his face. "With how great you are, you have no problem playing against me, right?"
A wave of nerves suddenly washes over you, your confidence dropping. You swallow, nodding, "Sure." Your voice comes out a lot quieter than you expected, the uncertainty clear as day.
"I'll give you five points to start, that's fair, isn't it?"
"Eight," you argue immediately and he raises his eyebrow.
"You need eight points difference to beat me?"
"If I need to beat you then I want to start with ten points right away otherwise I have no chance, but if playing for more than five seconds is what we want then eight points will do."
"You'll get seven. I can't underestimate you so much, what if I'd lose?"
"Then I'd need to tell my dad to reconsider your position on the team."
The atmosphere is easy, much more comfortable than you through the two of you would ever able to be. He steps behind the three point line, dribbling the ball around his leg while you watch him, trying your hardest to focus on the ball and not his face. Chasing after him, you do your best guarding the almost head taller man. It doesn't work, obviously, but both of you laugh at your attempts and that makes you feel a lot better than stopping him would.
He easily makes a point in and you rush in to get the ball. He lets you dribble to the three point line without guarding you, slowly walking to you only once you cross it to make your way towards the basket. As soon as he reaches you, you know you don't stand a chance. You knew he was big, but standing against him now, as he guards you so you don't get to the basket, he is fucking huge. Not only does he hover over you, you also feel like you suddenly grew smaller when he outstretches his hands, easily blocking both sides. You dribble back again, cursing quietly as you try to figure out a way around him.
The only possibility you see is trying to shoot from the three point line, but there is no way you're making that in. With how long it took for you to get the free throw in, a three pointer will seriously take all night — if you'd even manage to get it in then.
Is this how he wins his games? By intimidating his opponents until they run away and settle for the last possible option just to lose the ball? Fucker. An incredibly tall and handsome fucker. You never want to stand on the opposite side of the court against him again.
You try to run around him but he blocks you again, this time stealing the ball from you. He runs behind the line with ease, making his way past you even easier before dunking the ball in, scoring another point for himself. "I don't want to do this," you groan. He chuckles, passing you the ball as a small pay back. But it's no use when you won't be able to shoot anyway.
"Just try, hm? What's the worst that happens?"
"I embarrass myself in front of you," you mutter, not meeting his eyes as you try as he said, dribbling around him.
"In front of me? Who cares what I think," he shakes his head. "Just have fun, Blue. Play around, miss the shots or make them in, lose or win — it doesn't matter." He doesn't stand in your way this time, his eyes following you as you dribble to the basket before shooting your shot once you are close enough to confidently make it in. The shot is clean, the ball falling through the hoop perfectly. "What matters is that you keep that smile on your face and don't worry yourself with anything."
It's easy for him, isn't it? You want to argue that you can't possibly stop worrying about what he'll think of you but you stop yourself in time, realizing just how wrongly that conversation would go. Your best shot today is to just listen to his words and try to enjoy this as much as possible. Even if you do lose at the end.
You never went into this considering you'd win so it should be fine. You can have fun with Mingyu without worrying yourself with anything.
Once you let go, you feel a lot better. Laugh fills your ears — both your own and his — accompanied with the sound of the ball hitting the hoop and bouncing off. You stopped playing for points a long time ago, Mingyu easily scoring ten more points before you could get another one in. But because Kim Mingyu can't be anything if not perfect, he encourages you to keep trying, cheering you on as you keep trying to get around him to shoot. Eventually, you give up on trying to be perfect and just shoot from your spot. The ball won't make it and you know it, but he seems to believe in you a lot more as he turns around to watch the ball go.
Taking your chance, you run past him and catch the ball as it falls short, shooting again once you have the right grip. It's only then that he realizes what you did, rushing to you to stop the ball from going in. But he is too late, and the ball falls into the hoop before he can catch it.
"Yes!!" You yell loudly. "Did you see that?? I figured it out! I outplayed you for real!"
He laughs as he turns to face you, nodding. "I saw that," he assures you. "You did great, Blue."
Your cheeks heat up as soon as your eyes lock with his, his words making your heart do spins for the nth time today. It's incredible how he makes you feel, and how much more you want him to talk to you. He's always been attractive, but now, when you know you enjoy spending time with him as well, you are just so much more interested. It's been a while since you felt like this, and even then your feelings weren't as strong as they are now.
"Let's take a break," he suggests, motioning to the bench you laid your jacket on before. "I've got water in my bag, you should hydrate yourself." You nod, unable to argue as you follow him to the bench. Taking a seat on the edge, you watch him reach into his backpack, handing you his water bottle. You take a long sip before handing it back to him, prompting him to do the same.
You lean back in your seat, looking up at the night sky. The stars are much clearer from here than Seoul. Taking a seat besides you, he rests the bottle of water between you in case you want to drink again, following your line of sight.
"How come you didn't go drinking with them?" You wonder out loud.
It stays quiet for a second so you glance his way, finding him looking up at the sky. "Didn't feel like it," he shrugs when he feels your eyes on him. "I wanted to practice more and coach said there was a court nearby, so I found this." You hum back. "Why didn't you? I'm sure they asked you to join."
"Yeah, but I didn't want to get drunk in front of them," you explain. "Jake kept texting me to come join them after all but it didn't feel right." It didn't feel right to get drunk and confess my feelings to you, but you don't finish that sentence. After all, not going ended up being the better option. When else would you get a chance to play basketball with him?
"Jake is nice," he hums.
"Yeah," you agree, trying not to sound too confused. "He is great."
"How long have you been together?" Mingyu wonders next and you almost choke on your saliva.
"What??" His eyes shoot to you when he hears you coughing, quickly patting your back in an attempt to help. "We aren't together," you correct him as soon as you can breathe properly again. "We are friends. Just friends."
"Oh?" He blinks, a little confused. "I thought you guys— never mind."
"You thought we what? Does it look like we are together? God, do people seriously think that?" You groan and his lips curve up at your panic.
"No," he shakes his head. "I guess it was just me who thought so," a soft, almost disbelieving, chuckle leaves his lips. The realization slowly settles in, all the interactions he's seen you have with his teammates — the jokes and conversations — making much more sense now.
A beat of silence passes by as the two of you sit under the moonlight, watching the night sky together. "Can I ask something?" You break the quiet, too nervous to even look at him.
His eyes rest on you though, wondering what you're thinking about. "You just did," he teases, trying to ease the situation when he sees how anxious you seem. It doesn't help at all. You fidget with your fingers, trying to find the right words as your eyes fall down to your lap. Mingyu's eyes follow yours, his brows furrowing when he sees you playing with your nails. "Ask me away, Blue."
You're suddenly rethinking everything you did today; how you look, how you acted, how you played, even how you're sitting right now. Putting yourself out there is your least favorite thing. You usually don't mind having attention on yourself, at least not to the point where it would actually influence your behavior. But as you sit here now, wondering what goes inside Mingyu's head when he looks at you, you feel like throwing up as soon as the words leave your lips. "Why do you never talk to me?"
"What do you mean?" He tilts his head.
You still don't meet his eyes, staring holes into your thighs. "Like— the team talks with me after games or whatever but we barely say hi to each other," you quickly blurt out, unsure if he can even understand you. He sighs and you finally look up. "Is it because of Jungkook?"
"Jungkook?" His frown deepens. "What does he have to do with anything?"
"Is he not—" you stop yourself from finishing the sentence, cursing yourself mentally as you gaze into his confused eyes. Jungkook has nothing to do with it. He never had anything to do with it. You're not sure if that makes you feel better or worse. Why has he been avoiding you like the plague then?
"I didn't mean to avoid you," he assures you, his gaze dropping to your fingers again. You are still playing with them, but it's gotten better now. "To be honest, I didn't even think you noticed we weren't talking."
"I did," you mumble. "I wanted to talk to you."
"You did?" He questions and your cheeks heat up, nervousness washing over you again.
"You are part of the team and others talk to me so I just—" you quickly try to excuse it, hoping he doesn't notice how red your ears are. "I didn't want anything to be awkward between us, so I wanted to get to know you as well."
He chuckles, nodding. "I'm sorry I made you feel like it was ever awkward between us." His eyes soften as he looks at you, all your previous interactions crossing his mind. He understands why you could think he didn't want to talk to you or that he feels indifferent towards you, but that was never his intention. "I never had anything against you — actually I always thought you were pretty damn cool based on how the guys talk about you — but I didn't want to overstep because I thought you were with Jake and it could make him uncomfortable."
"I'm not with Jake," you remind him again.
He laughs, "Yes, I know that now."
"Okay, good. Just remember that."
"I will," he shakes his head in amusement, a smile on his face as he takes the sight of you in again — no longer fidgeting with your fingers and wearing a smile on your face.
He likes you like this much more. You are pretty when you are happy.
By the time you came back to your room last night, it was already midnight. You'd love to blame it all on Mingyu, but you didn't want to leave either. The longer you could spend time with him, the happier you were. The two of you played again — and this time he actually allowed you the advantage of eight points — betting on who'd reach ten points first. You lost, obviously.
You probably should have been sad you lost, but somehow, you were glad. Because losing and having to keep your word that the winner gets a wish, means you'll have to talk to him again. It means you'll have an excuse to talk to him and get to know him further. The fact you need to fulfill his wish is just a minor disadvantage.
The two of you walked back together, chatting about anything and everything that came to mind. You're not sure how much he remembers, but you told him a lot about yourself and he did the same in return, the questions you've always had for him slowly disappearing just for new ones to appear with every answer. You think it's safe to say you're interested him.
You're not sure when Jake came back to the hotel room, but it was long after you were already asleep. Luckily, he didn't throw up or anything, keeping his promise, but he still ended up hung over in the morning, whining your ears off.
"Is there anyone sober?" Your dad complains. "I don't have players to play with if you guys don't do something about yourself right about," he looks at the watch on his hand to add to his point, "now."
"We are all pretty much sobered up," Seungcheol argues. "My head does hurt though."
You laugh quietly as your dad contemplates his choices to be their coach. "Coach, me and Vernon stopped drinking before midnight, we are good to play."
"I also feel good," Riki pipes up.
"Nishimura, you'll see my daughter married before you play on the court," your dad deadpans and your eyes widen, unsure if you should question what he means by that or laugh at your friends misery.
"I didn't drink anything last night, coach," Mingyu joins the conversation and your eyes find him immediately. He stands with his hands in his pockets, dressed in comfortable gray shorts and a black graphic shirt, sunglasses sitting firmly on top of his head. Have you mentioned yet how attractive he is? Because if not, maybe you should get your laptop and start writing a book about it.
"Exactly why you're my favorite player," your dad snaps his fingers, visibly excited. "We can work with this. Okay, whoever can drive will drive, we'll stop at a gas station and everyone will try to sober up as best as they can. Only if I know no one will want to test you for alcohol is when I let you guys on the court."
A loud, "Yes, coach!" is heard from everyone, making you blink in surprise while Seojin besides you looks pleased, expecting nothing less from their team. When you see the look in his eyes, your eyes soften, a small smile tugging at your lips.
You settle yourself in the passenger seat of your dad's car, Jake and Riki right behind you again. You watch as Mingyu gets into his car, Seungcheol right behind him. Seojin drives Seungcheol's car this time, taking in Jeonghan and Heeseung, while Seungkwan drives Joshua and Hansol in Joshua's car. Every part of you wants to switch with Seungcheol and sit besides Mingyu, watch him drive and talk with him the entire ride, but there's no way you'd be able to do that with your dad around.
Fastening your seatbelt with a heavy sigh, you bring the attention of all three to yourself. Quickly shaking your head when you notice them, you brush them off, claiming you just sighed because you feel tired. As soon as your dad hums and focuses on the road again, you send Dae a quick text about how you'll need to talk with her about Mingyu when you come back before switching chats to the one with Bora you started last night, asking her to wait for you in front of the stadium when she arrives.
Jumping out of the car as soon as it comes to a stop, you join the guys, planning to buy yourself coffee and your dad a soda per his request. You swear it's not on purpose, that you have nothing to do with it, but as you walk you find yourself by Mingyu's side, the two of you trailing together at the very back.
"Hi," you smile up at him. His smile is gentle as he greets you back, his chocolate eyes finding yours with ease. You love his eyes. "Did you sleep well?"
"Surprisingly fell asleep shortly after showering," he nods. "The guys were a mess when they came back, though. Shua and Hee were singing for the entire floor to hear before Hansol and I shut the up." You chuckle at the imagine in your head. You'd love to see that as well. "It was little after three when they got back but they fell asleep as soon as their faces hit the bed so it wasn't too bad."
"How are they even functioning right now?" you ask, more curiously than judging them. Even though, considering the situation, you do hate it on behalf of your dad. Despite them winning the yesterday's game, they still need to do their best today, which is not something that can happen with half of his players under the influence. If anyone finds out, they could be in serious trouble.
"They are used to it," he shrugs. "Not to say they are alcoholics, but it's not the first time celebrations were like this."
"Do you usually no drink with them?"
"Oh no," Mingyu laughs as you enter the store together. "I drink with them way more than not. I just wasn't in the mood last night. And, to be honest, I did not want to risk having alcohol in my system for today's game. I want to be at my best today."
"When are you not at your best?" You mumble, taking a turn to the right immediately to browse the drinks they offer. Mingyu blinks at you curiously, your words repeating in his head. There are a lot of moments he could answer with, but he likes the fact you believe in him so much to think he does no wrong. If anything, it's a great motivation.
"Hand it to me," Mingyu encourages when you reach the counter to pay. You look up at him, eyebrows furrow in confusion as you hold the bottle of coke for your dad. You give it to him hesitantly, watching as he hands it to the worker for her to add it to his bill.
Your eyes widen immediately, "Wait, Mingyu, no, I'm buying that."
"It's fine. Did you want anything else?"
"Mingyu," you shake your head. "Stop buying me stuff every time we stop somewhere," you try your best to sound convincing, but by the lazy scoff that leaves his lips, you don't think you managed anything. "Can you please take it off? I'll pay for it myself. And I'll also get a latte please."
"Add the coffee as well. How much is the total?" Mingyu smiles innocently at the girl behind the counter. He really is no good for you. While you want to keep arguing with him, fight him that there is no reason for him to buy you drinks, the tingly feeling in your chest when he does stops you.
"Mingyu," you try once more.
His gaze drops to you, his smile widening. "Yes, Blue? Just accept the offer when I'm making it, okay? You can buy next time." You both know next time will look the same, that he'll fight you for paying again, but neither of you say anything about it. You sigh in defeat, nodding when the cashier asks you if she should ring him up with your drinks on as well.
"I think you misunderstood the terms of our bet," you mumble as you walk outside again, sipping on your coffee. "Since you won, I'm supposed to fulfill your wish. Not the other way around. There is no reason for you to be doing this."
Mingyu shrugs, not a single care in the world. "I know what we bet on. Trust me, I'll use my wish well when I figure out what I want. But for now, I'm simply bribing my coach by buying him and his daughter a drink."
"So this is what it's about?" You fake gasps and he nods, biting back a smile. "What would happen if he found out you're using me like this? Your good boy image would fall off."
"I don't need a good boy image when I am in fact a good boy," he sends you a wink that makes you feel like your heart will jump out of your chest before sending you off with a grin on his face, getting back to his car.
Kim Mingyu is so terrible for your health.
He is also, apparently, a good boy.
♡⸝⸝♡⸝⸝
Your eyes land on Bora's figure as soon as you step out of the car. You're not the only one looking at her, though. Watching as Seungkwan takes the sight of your friend in with a smile on his face, you have to smile too. They might not know what awaits them in the future, but you can already seem them getting together and being happy. Seungkwan deserves this, and you root for him with everything you have.
"We'll go in first," you wave at your dad, locking arms with the brown haired girl waiting for you. "Let's pick good seats."
"Let's go," Bora nods eagerly.
You tell her about the guys' celebration yesterday and how your dad was pretty annoyed in the morning, not knowing who to send on the court without risking a penalty for a player under the influence. You leave out the fact Mingyu was the only one not drinking because he was with you, shrugging and saying that he probably just didn't feel like drinking when she asks. There is a somehow proud smile on her lips when you tell her that Seungkwan is one of the players ready to play today, making you roll your eyes. She's super obvious.
A part of you wonders if you look the same when you think or hear about Mingyu. If you wear a similarly adorable smile without even realizing. While you have a feeling you do, you hope it's not like this in your case. Because if it is, everyone probably knows what goes on in your head, and that's not something you want.
You find seats in first row this time. It's not that huge of a change from yesterday's game, but it still feels like you are a lot closer to the players. Your dad and his assistant coach are the first ones to appear on the court, quickly finding your seats before settling at their own bench.
"I saw this video last night, I wanted to show it to you, wait," Bora says as she opens her phone quickly, easily getting your full attention again. There is forty minutes until the official start of the match, and you spend the entire time talking with her, barely noticing other people come in and occupy the seats around you. You talk about things you have in common, what interests you, and she also tells you about her family and how she's been into the sport her whole life thanks to her brother. Explaining how you grew up around basketball thanks to your family as well, you bond over your experience all over again. You're convinced you'll keep this girl in your life as long as you can, and you just hope she feels the same about you.
The starting five is different this time, just like you assumed when you saw how Seungcheol was doing. You've seen worse before, but with how tired he seems and how he's been complaining about his head hurting, it makes sense for your dad to swap him out. What you didn't expect was for Jeonghan to be sitting this time as well. He looked fine to you, but who knows what your dad was thinking.
Mingyu, Seungkwan, Hansol, Heeseung and Jake all come onto the court along with five players from the opponent's team, Mingyu taking his place in the middle circle instantly, getting ready for the jump ball. With his tall figure, it's only natural for him to be doing it. Despite other players often being around his height as well, his jump ability gives him the needed advantage. You watch him from your seat, looking forward to the play he shows today.
Waiting for the referee to take position as well, Mingyu takes his time scanning the crowd. He looks at all of their fans, noticing the red color in the audience a lot more than the opponent's green. You matched color to his team today as well. Your jeans are black, the same ones you wore to the game last night, and your shirt red. It's not a bad look, the opposite actually, but it's not blue.
"On three." Mingyu snaps out of it, his eyes immediately flickering to the referee besides him. Nodding, he gets ready, briefly looking at his opponent before focusing his attention on the ball. He doesn't hear the count anymore, only jumping once he sees the ball being tossed in the air. His opponent is shorter than him this time but it doesn't stop him from jumping as high as he can, stealing the ball into his side. He hears your cheers from the side but he doesn't have the time to look, instantly running forward so they can score the first basket.
Becoming friends with a guy you've liked for around a year is not for the weak. It seems like the dumbest thing ever when you think about it, but that doesn't change the fact your heart skips a beat at any and every mention of him.
It was a follow at first. Once you told Dae about your weekend and how you played basketball with him late at night, she immediately encouraged you into messaging him, claiming you should strike the pot while it's still hot. You didn't have the nerve to text him yet, but you sent him a follow, one he returned in the span of a minute. Deep down you know it doesn't mean anything, but at the moment, when the following turned into friends, you couldn't be more excited.
You exchanged simple likes after, a smile on your face every time you'd watch the stories he'd post. It's mostly pics from the trainings or his friends, but a picture of him in the gym occasionally pops up and you're down bad for him again. Even with his forehead full of sweat and tired eyes, he is just as attractive as ever.
Mingyu can't give you a moment to rest, though. So as soon as you started getting used to his notification popping out every time you'd post something — because he apparently is the nicest person on earth and likes everything he sees — he found a new way to get you jumping up from your seat. After posting a picture of you and one of the little girls you met at your internship, holding the drawing she made for you, he popped into your messages for the first time, asking about it.
You spent the next two hours on the phone with him, talking about your internship and all the kids you've got to teach so far, as well as some other things you've manage to learn thanks to your classes. To your surprise, you don't feel nervous at all talking to him. Maybe it's because of the topic, or how excited you always get when someone asks you about teaching. He is eager with his follow up questions as well, reassuring you he truly cares every time he interrupts you to ask something that caught his attention.
When he interrupted your texting by calling you the first time, you almost didn't pick up at time, but the more you talk to him, the more at ease you feel. If you could pick one thing you like the most about him, it would be how important he makes you feel every time.
You stayed on the phone with him until he made it to the sport hall, hanging up only because he needed to change and start training.
Ever since then, the two of you somehow managed to turn your calls into something normal, usually at least texting a few times during the day if you weren't calling later. If someone told you just a month ago that you'd be talking to Mingyu on the daily, you wouldn't believe them. It's something you once dreamed of, so having it now still feels out of this world.
Smiling as you send him a quick message, laughing at the picture he sent of his spilled coffee. Turns out, Mingyu is the clumsiest person you know, stuff like these happening to him on the daily. From spilling drinks, to breaking stuff or bumping into things. You're honestly surprised he is still alive at this point.
He sends you a pouty selfie right after seeing your laughing emoji, your grin only widening. "That's a boy!" Your eyes widen and you immediately turn your phone off, turning around to see Jiho, one of the loudest kids you look after.
"A boy?" Jia peers up instantly, blinking at you curiously. She's adorable, every part of you wanting to tell her all about the boy in your phone when you meet her big brown eyes.
"A boy," you nod. "Just like Jiho is a boy, and like Sunghoon is a boy."
"No!" Jiho argues quickly. "That was a grown boy! Like my dad!" You know he probably doesn't mean it that way, but thinking about how he just compared his dad, who is in his late thirties, to your Mingyu, makes you laugh.
Your Mingyu. You like thinking about him that way.
Before you can blink, a small group of kids surrounds you, all of them looking at you as if you just introduced them something foreign. Awkwardly smiling at them, you search for your supervisor, begging her with your eyes to come and help you out. She just smiles at you from across the room, leaning against the wall in amusement. Taking a deep breath, you prepare yourself for the wave of questions about to come.
"Was that your husband?"
"I don't have a husband," you shake your head quickly, raising your left hand to show off that it's empty. "See this finger? What do we call this finger?"
"The ring finger!" Jooyoung yells immediately.
"Exactly!" You grin happily, proud of her for getting it right. "And since there isn't a ring on this finger, it means I don't have a husband."
"Then it's a boyfriend, right? My sister says she needs a boyfriend all the time!"
"The boy Jiho saw isn't my boyfriend either," you answer her question, trying not to get swayed by the idea. "He is a friend of mine. He is nice to me, which is why I like him so much and talk to him. You guys remember how we talked about friendships last week, right?"
Everyone around nods and you do as well. "Great. Can anyone tell me what a friendship is?"
"When two people share their toys together!"
"When we play together!"
"When we are nice to each other!"
"Yes, yes, precisely," you agree. "So how about you all gather your friends, and go play with them?" It works better than you expected. All the kids glance at each other before running off with a laugh, making you breathe out in relief. You're glad you managed to get out of it so easily.
"That was great," your supervisor, Mrs. Choi, says as she joins your side. Looking up at her from your chair, you offer her a brief smile as well. "You took care of it well."
"I'm sorry for being on my phone while working," you lower your head again with an apology. Truth is though, you don't regret it. You never regret texting Mingyu and learning what he's doing.
"At least say it like you mean it," she scoffs playfully, pulling out a chair besides you and sitting down. "It's okay if you answer some texts when you're not busy, just please don't let it distract you to the point you aren't paying attention to the children."
"I won't," you promise instantly. "It could have waited and that was my fault."
She shakes her head, brushing you off. "Back when I was your age, I also couldn't wait to answer the phone when a boy I liked texted me. And look at me now, I'm still doing the job and I married him," she points to her ring finger. "So believe me when I say I'm okay with you being on your phone from time to time."
"It's not like that," you try to argue, but by the knowing smile she wears you don't think she believes you. To be fair, you don't believe yourself either. Talking to him every day, constantly texting and laughing at things together, it's impossible not to hope for something more. It's incredibly easy to love Kim Mingyu.
"Darling, eyes are the one and only thing that doesn't lie."
♡⸝⸝♡⸝⸝
"Blue."
You're fully convinced you'd recognize his voice anywhere. Looking up, your eyes widen when they meet the chocolate ones you fall in love with every day more and more. "Mingyu?" You blink confusedly, standing up and dusting your jeans off. Glancing at the kids — who are watching you curiously instead of focusing on their drawings — you debate what the right move here is. "What are you doing here?"
"That's him!" You hear Jiho exclaim, quickly grabbing Mingyu's sleeve and pulling him with your outside.
"Woah, woah, ask me out to a dinner first," he laughs but still follows you voluntarily. You don't answer him, not stopping until you are far away from everyone.
"What are you doing here?" You repeat your question, slowly letting go of him.
His eyes briefly fall to the piece of fabric you were holding until now, a move you notice and only makes you more confused. "I texted you but I don't think you saw my messages," he meets your eyes again, an easy going smile on his face as he fixes the gym back hanging on his shoulder.
Pulling out your phone from your pocket, you scan the new messages truly waiting for you. He asked when you finish and if you want to go home together, as well as sending you updates on his position so you know when to expect him. "Shoot," you mutter, apology written all across your face as you look up. He simply shakes his head, assuring you it's okay. "I'm sorry I didn't answer and you walked all the way here for nothing," you frown. "I have another hour left until I can leave."
"I can wait," he shrugs. "I don't mind."
"But—"
Mrs. Choi calling your name interrupts you and you peek over Mingyu's side to see her, quickly apologizing to her for rushing out like that. "It's okay," she shakes her head, a calming sign you saw from Mingyu just seconds ago. "Who may this gentleman be?"
"Kim Mingyu," he introduces himself with a grin, extending his hand forward for her to shake. She gladly does, the knowing smile of hers making you close your eyes in regret. "I'm sorry for interrupting like this. I thought I'd come by and walk her home."
"Oh, please, come inside," she encourages him and your eyes widen. Inside? You can't leave right now, she knows that as well. The kindergarten is opened until three and you just promised the kids you'll draw with them. "I can make you a cup of coffee and you can wait comfortably there. No need to wait outside."
"Mrs. Choi—"
She completely ignores you, nudging Mingyu in while talking about how grateful she is to have you here and is glad you won't have to go home alone. You sigh, watching their backs as they disappear in the door. This could go terrible. You do feel bad about keeping him waiting for you, but you also can't stop thinking about the fact he decided to come here and pick you up, not even batting an eye when he found out he has to wait an hour if he wants to go with you.
With your cheeks flushed and heart beating out of your chest, you quickly fix your hair before following the two of them back inside.
Mingyu is crouching down at the same spot you were when he showed up, a smile on his face and a pencil in hand as he helps Jooyoung draw on her paper. It's not the first time your body has reacted to Mingyu, but it certainly is the first time your ovaries are dancing this much, all because he is doing the same thing you love the most — teaching.
Good God.
"What are you guys doing?" You ask softly, your eyes flickering between the drawing and Mingyu as you gently pat Jooyoung's hair, your other hand resting on Gyu's back instinctively.
"This kind sir is helping me draw a flower," she explains and you laugh when his shoulder's tense at the name.
"Call me Mingyu, hm?" He smiles at her before shooting you a look for laughing at him.
"Mingyu sir," Sujin besides her smiles.
A snicker escapes your lips and you quickly hide your face behind your palms. "Looks like you are getting old, Mingyu sir," you tease, unable to stop laughing.
"Oh yeah?" He taunts, dropping the pencil in his hand on the table and pushing himself up, instantly towering over you. "I'm getting old? Aren't you little daring, miss?" He leans down, his face only inches from yours. It's hot. Is it only you who feels hot right now? Swallowing, you open your mouth in an attempt to answer, but no words leave your lips.
"Ew! Mrs. Choi, they are about to kiss!"
You've never taken a step back as fast as now, forcing more space between you when you hear the complain. You were not just about to kiss him. Definitely not. Just like you definitely aren't staring at his lips, and how it definitely isn't distracting you to the point you don't know where you're putting your foot. Your eyes widen as you step on something, losing your balance.
Fortunately, you don't hit the ground like you expect to. A strong arm wraps around your waist, catching you just in time. He looks panicked, his cheeks flushed and eyes wide as he stops you from falling. Exhaling in relief, he helps you stand on both of your feet again, ignoring all the groans and complains coming from the kids. "You okay?"
"Yeah," you breathe out, trying to blink out of the shock and look anywhere but at him. "Thank you."
"I got you," he smiles again, slowly letting his hand fall back to his side.
You clear your throat, clasping your hands together as you look around the room, refusing to meet eyes with your supervisor, knowing exactly how she's looking at you right now. "Alright, guys! Who wants to have Mingyu give them a piggyback ride around the room?"
Mingyu stares ahead confusedly, wondering if he's heard you right. But when he looks at you and sees the smile on your face as you encourage the first kid to come forward, he can't complain about anything.
It's probably the most you've laughed in a while. Watching Mingyu get dragged around the room, all of the kids wanting to play with him, has you absolutely head over heels. It's adorable, he's adorable. Grinning at you every chance he gets, seemingly proud of how well he is doing, you fall for him again. You're sure a lot of the kids feel the same, refusing to let go of him even when their parents come pick them up. They only let go once he promises to play with them even more next time, and while deep down you know there won't be a next time, his words manage to spark hope in you as well.
"Thank you so much for today," Mrs. Choi smiles at Mingyu warmly, handing him back his sports bag. "The kids really loved spending time with you."
"I'm glad to not have been a burden," he smiles before glancing at you. "It was nice learning what it's like to take care of a group of children like this."
"Hopefully it's not the last time we are seeing you here."
"I hope so too," he nods and you bite back your smile, trying not to show how excited that makes you. "Let's get you home?" He tilts his head and you nod, unable to meet his eyes as you grab the rest of your stuff and say your goodbyes to Mrs. Choi, following him out.
You walk side by side, your hands sometimes brushing each other on the way. Neither of you pulls away though. You try to convince yourself it doesn't mean anything and that he probably doesn't even notice the electricity his touch sends through your body, but it's hard to believe it's all just coincidence. He has to feel something too, right? You don't want to get your hopes up, that's the last thing you'd want, but why would he be doing all this if it was only meant to lead you on?
"You really didn't have to wait for me," you mumble, your voice barely loud enough for him to hear. "I could have just called you once I was done or something. You didn't have to walk me."
"I wanted to," he states casually. "It doesn't bother me at all, Blue," he assures you when he sees the look in your eyes. "I wanted to walk with you so I did what I could to walk with you. Don't even think for a second that you are bothering me or anything like that."
He shuts you up immediately, your lips forming a straight line as you look down at the ground beneath your feet. How does he manage to mess with your head so easily? "You're too good to me," you whisper.
Shaking his head, he allows himself to lace his fingers with yours, careful not to freak you out. Your head shoots up immediately, your eyes finding his in surprise. "If there is anyone too good for someone, it's you, Blue." His eyes drop to your tangled fingers and you do the same. He's holding two of them, his large hands covering them fully. "Who else would sit on a call for hours with me and listen to my ramblings?"
You could name girls. You are certain if he wanted to, he could have any girl he wants doing the same. Loving Mingyu is easy for you, so why wouldn't it be for other girls? "Have I ever told you you confuse the hell out of me?" You slowly lift your eyes again, your expression a mix of happiness and fear. You watch something flicker in his eyes, something you can't name at the moment. It makes him drop your hand, though, and that's all you need to know.
Clearing his throat, he averts his eyes from you, "Let's go. I'm sure you have things you need to do instead of just standing here with me."
A part of you wants to argue with him and tell him that you don't care what you are doing as long as you are with him, but then you remember the look in his eyes and decide not to, nodding instead. "Yeah, let's go," you agree, not waiting for him to lead this time and simply stepping forward. It takes him a second to pull himself again but he catches up to you, doing his best to stay calm in the bothersome silence that embraces you afterward.
The walk isn't exactly awkward, but it doesn't feel nice either. You both feel it. While you gently kick the rocks under you, coming in terms with the answer you just got, Mingyu eats himself alive for his earlier reaction. It was far from what he wanted to do, but he can't figure out how to tell you what goes in his head. For now, he'll just have to hope you don't hate him too much after this.
Despite the way your last real interaction with Mingyu went, nothing much has changed. As soon as you closed the door behind you, finally able to breathe alone, you were convinced that was the end of what you managed to build together in the past weeks. You hated the idea of it, of not spending hours on the phone with him anymore and hearing his voice through out the day, or not being able to text him when something would happen, having to deal with it on your own.
But he never stopped interacting with you like before, constantly texting you and calling you at night to talk about your day. It almost made you feel like he didn't reject you back then.
Almost.
But truth is the memory crosses your mind every time the call gets quiet enough, every time you aren't busy focusing on something and your mind gets a moment to think. You still see his eyes clearly, the fear of what your words mean and the instant pull back when he processed it.
At times, you feel like you are losing your mind thinking about all the moments you thought meant something. They didn't, you need to remind yourself. Mingyu is the nicest guy you know, and even though you don't want to blame him, it's because of that that you're left feeling like this. Maybe if he wasn't so nice, if he wasn't so good for you, it wouldn't hurt this much to admit to yourself it isn't happening.
"You need to stop drowning in that pain," Dae's voice makes you snap out of your thoughts. You turn to face her, forcing a smile on and shaking your head gently. "He wasn't all that anyway," she waves her hand, trying to cheer you up. "If you ask me, Seungcheol — who has been flirting with you this whole time mind you — is much better."
You chuckle, your eyes following hers and locking on the very man you are talking about, his jersey sitting on top of a white shirt that hugs his biceps perfectly as he dribbles across the court before passing it to someone you can't see from your place. "It's all jokingly," you remind her. "You should know that the best, hasn't he been flirting with you? Like, actually flirting."
Her cheeks catch the color red and you already know the answer. "That's jokingly as well," she tries to brush you off. Raising an eyebrow at her, you eye her up and down. "Come on, you know him better than I do. Shouldn't you know he flirts with everyone? I don't need that."
"I do know that," you shrug. "But I still think he flirts a tiny bit more with you. Who knows, maybe if you gave him a shot, the two of you could have something great."
"Sure," she rolls her eyes at you. "Just like—" she stops herself before finishing the sentence, swallowing the rest of her words.
"Just like what?"
"Nothing," she blurts out quickly.
Narrowing your eyes at her suspiciously, you try to see through her. "Were you just going to mention my failed….whatever with Mingyu?"
"No!" She argues.
"You were!"
"I wasn't!" She raises her hands in the air, shaking her head so hard you think it'll cramp soon. "I was just, you know, talking faster than I think. I don't know what I was going to say."
"Sure," you sigh. It's okay if she was going to mention it. She'd only be voicing what you've been thinking anyway.
"Do you want to watch the game? It doesn't look like anyone will come anytime soon so let's just step out for a moment," she suggests, wanting to make you feel better. You hum, standing up from your place and following her out of the stand, settling at the entrance. You see the entire court now instead of just half of it, your eyes quickly scanning the score board before dropping to the players.
They are doing amazing as always. The score is sitting at 64:61, but you have no doubt they'll win. They are your favorite team after all. No matter what happened or still awaits you, your cheers for them won't change. You've been their fan all throughout last year while crushing on Mingyu as well, so why wouldn't you be now?
You watch the exact moment Hansol and Seungkwan get into it, running faster than before and getting past all the blockers with ease. Passing the ball around until they make it under the opponent's basket, it's all perfect. Cheering loudly, you watch as Seungkwan jumps in the air, the ball leaving his fingertips precisely. The ball makes it into the hoop, the score board switching to 66:61 in a second.
It's time to go into defense, but thankfully the guys don't lack there either. Hansol gets to work again instantly, doing his best not to let them get past him. Getting in the player's way, he blocks him until he steps out of the line, the referee's whistle ringing in your ears immediately.
There aren't many referee signs you remember, but the ball going out of the bounds is one of them. He points towards the sideline that was crossed, pointing out the violation of rule eight. Your dad tried to teach you these signs before, but all you ended up remembering was this one and the one for a player taking steps without dribbling. It wasn't like you necessary needed to know them when you were still playing.
Just like that, the ball goes to the Knights again, allowing them the opportunity to make another great play.
Dae besides you cheers when Seungcheol gets the ball, yelling tactics at his team. They are making Mingyu score. You've seen your dad planning enough to know what his words mean. So while the opponents might be confused on what their next move is, you know exactly who the ball is going to.
Seungcheol makes a low pass to Mingyu, who jumps without any hesitance, aiming at the basket before shooting the ball out of his hands, landing on the three point line again. You watch as the ball spins on the hoop, knowing exactly how to make the entire crowd tense. The whole court is silent as they wait if the ball makes it in or bounces off, until a loud cheer erupts in your ears again as the Knights gain three more points.
You watch Mingyu jog to the other side of the court quickly, getting ready to defend. His eyes find you briefly, but you quickly break eye contact, turning around on your heel and excusing yourself so you can go to the toilet. Dae doesn't question you at all, her eyes still glued to the game as you leave to the back.
Despite your heart aching when you look at him, you are still his biggest fan. You think you'll be for a while. Unless he plans to break your heart entirely.
♡⸝⸝♡⸝⸝
Just like you thought they would, the guys won tonight. Celebrations were hard, especially on you with the amount of people needing a drink. But you managed, and an hour after the game finished, you are finally cleaning up.
"What about these?" You ask your dad, holding up the knifes and paper towels left here. There aren't any home games planned for the time being, so there is no need to be leaving your things here.
"Take them to our changing room, there is a box in the back for towels and things like this." Humming, you let him wash the counter as you walk around him, heading straight for the changing rooms. The men's changing room is still where it was when you grew up, remaining the only changing room dedicated to the team. Other teams usually just take whatever room is free when they arrive, including your children teams.
You stop right in front of the door, unable to walk inside when you hear the familiar voice. You don't know if they are changing at the moment or not, but you aren't risking it. Taking a step to the side, you settle besides the door, waiting for the guys to finish before you go put this away.
"Bora is amazing," you hear Seungkwan tell the guys and your lips immediately turn up into a smile. From what you know, they've been talking lately, and you love that they are getting along. The only other pair you need now is Dae and Seungcheol, but that might need a lot more effort than Bora and Kwan did. "She couldn't make it today but I can't wait to see her again next week at the ball."
"Are you two going together?" Seokmin question, the grin on his face obvious in his tone.
"Yeah," Seungkwan answers sheepishly and you cheer internally. You're just as happy to have Bora on the ball as he is. It's something you've been looking forward to for a while.
"What about you?" Jeonghan is asking this time. "Are you coming with Blue or are you both going on your own?"
"Don't call her Blue," Mingyu grumbles immediately. You suddenly feel like you are invading their space. You should go. You should go and act like you never heard anything.
Your feet don't move, though. Despite your head telling you to go, you stay glued in place, unable to leave. "Someone is possessive again," Seungcheol laughs.
"I'm not," Mingyu argues, clearly annoyed. "And she's going with coach, I think. We didn't talk about it."
"Why not?" Seokmin wonders. "You should just ask her to come with you. We all know you'll be together all night anyway. Ever since you started talking to her, you have been unable to be with anyone else."
"You're acting as if you mind," Joshua scoffs. "All his girls are falling at your feet now."
"I know! It's great!"
You should really leave. You aren't supposed to be a part of this conversation. If they knew you are outside the door, they wouldn't be talking like this.
"I don't get why you don't make it official," Jake shakes his head. "It's clear you like her, and we both know she likes you as well, so why are you hesitating so much?"
"Is it because of coach?" Riki adds another question.
"It's not like that," Mingyu finally huffs, the sound of a locker being slammed shut following right after. "We aren't like that. We are friends. That's all there is. We both feel that way, so can you stop saying things like this?" You swallow as you listen to his voice, the last bit of hope you have searching for any sign of him lying as he speaks. "Even if anything you guys think we have going on was true — which it's not — it's not like we'd ever be anything. We have a championship to win. I have a clear goal I need to reach. I can't have anything holding me back. Especially not my coach's daughter."
There goes the last bit of hope you had. It leaves out the window, your eyes closing shut as you take a deep breath. If his answer weeks ago wasn't enough for you, this certainly is. There is nothing between you and Mingyu. Never was and never will be. You are friends at best. Even though you aren't sure if you want that after tonight.
"What are you doing here?" Dae tilts her head confusedly and you finally push yourself forward, quickly walking to her.
"Can you put this inside?" You hand her all the stuff you are holding, only confusing her further. "There should be a box or something in the back. Or maybe the guys know if you ask them." Your eyes flicker all over her, unable to stay focused on one thing for too long. "I'm going back to the stand to check if we got everything and then leave, okay? I'll see you next Saturday at the ball."
"Wait—" She turns after you as you rush off, blinking into the empty space as your back disappears from her sight. You feel sorry for leaving so abruptly, but you need to get home and into your bed. You need to get as far away from Mingyu as you possibly can and do something with yourself so you can act like you didn't just overhear their entire conversation.
"Are you sure you want to be getting ready with me?" You ask again, eyeing Bora from your bed. "Aren't you going with Seungkwan?"
She brushes you off, "I told him we'll meet there. There is no need for us to come together, anyway. And, I want to get ready with you. Do you know how long it's been since I last went out with a girl who wasn't fucking my brother?" You shake your head at her, standing up to help her grab her things. "But if you think fucking my brother might help you stop looking so gloomy all the time, I'm pretty sure he is single at the moment."
"No, thanks," you laugh, hanging her dress on the open door of your room. "But if Seungcheol doesn't dance with Dae the entire night, offer it to her. She'll need it."
"I thought you said she doesn't expect anything out of it?"
"She says she doesn't," you correct. "But I know better than anyone she hopes he asks her out instead of just flirting with her all the time, trust me." Bora sighs, plopping down on your bed. "Don't give me those pitiful eyes," you warn her.
"How can I not? If you didn't want me to hate his guts, you shouldn't have told me what was happening with you and Mingyu. He's an ass!"
"He isn't," you roll your eyes. "I get him, really. It's fine. I never expected anything out of it in the first place."
"Liar," she calls you out. "I saw you when you were telling me about how he makes you feel. Which is even more of a reason for you to be mad at him. You can't just excuse him and act like what he said wasn't terrible. Who does he even think he is?" she huffs and you chuckle, shaking your head.
"Feel free to hate him all you want while I go take a shower, but I hope we aren't still talking about this when I come back so we can start getting ready."
"Yes, ma'am," she salutes, both of you laughing as you leave your bedroom to go to the bathroom at the other side of the hall.
As you stand in front of your mirror, Bora beside you, you feel happy for the first time in the last week. You feel pretty. Your hair falling in soft waves thanks to her help and your brown dress hugging your curves perfectly, you aren't his Blue tonight. You are just you. Your makeup turned out well as well, and you truly couldn't be more excited tonight.
Your cat, Snowy, seems to think the same as he rubs his head against your feet, all loving. You smile as you look at him before checking yourself again, making sure everything is perfect.
While deep down you don't think you look too different from your usual self, Bora certainly does. You are used to her hair being up and her clothes being sporty, so seeing her hair fall down the length of her arms and her body hugged by her purple dress is a blow. You already know Seungkwan will be falling to his knees when he sees her. She is perfect.
"Girls! Let's go!" Your dad calls from downstairs just in time. Bora nudges your side, picking her purse from your desk. You do the same, quickly collecting your phone and wallet before heading with her down. Your dad is already waiting at the door, a smile on his face as he watches you walk the stairs with your friend.
You know organizing this ball with the rest of the staff was hard, so it's nice to see him so happy now. Grabbing your jacket from the hanger, you pull it over your shoulders. "Let's go," you encourage with a smile.
It's not too far from your home, so you all walk together, enjoying the fresh air. The walk back will be perfect for sobering up. You can't wait to get drunk tonight. To be honest, you've been needing it. You need to get some alcohol into your system and enjoy your night freely without wondering what Mingyu is doing or who he's dancing with.
You avoided his calls all week and only answered his messages briefly, so you are hoping to keep that up tonight as well and have fun without him. It'd be great if he'd only leave your head fully and you wouldn't be thinking about him all the time.
You swear you don't do it on purpose. One second you are focused on something and your head is empty, but then you breathe again and he is everywhere, annoying every inch of your mind. No matter where you look, you see him. One night without drowning in pain is all you ask for tonight.
Giving the worker in the dressing room your jacket, you step aside as soon as you are done, waiting for Bora and your dad. You take a look around in the meantime, admiring the decoration. Everything is in the team colors, and it looks amazing with the lights. Red and black line the walls, balloons attached anywhere they could put them and the music from the main hall playing in your ears even out here.
"It looks awesome!" Bora exclaims as soon as you are all together again.
"It truly is," you agree. "You guys did a great job with the decorations."
"It was all the club president," your dad shakes his head. "He made this all happen. I don't think we would have been able to restore this tradition without him."
You can't remember when the last ball organized by the basketball club happened. It was definitely when you were still little, barely paying attention to these things. You are glad they decided to start planning events like these again. You'll have to praise the president for his hard work when you see him later.
"Let's find out table," your dad encourages.
Nodding, both of you follow him into the main hall. "And drinks right after," Bora whispers into your ear, making you giggle. Who cares if Mingyu likes you or not when you have your girls you'll be spending tonight with?
You do. You care. You absolutely do. Because as soon as Seungkwan shows up, he steals Bora from you. They both assure you they don't mind hanging out with you — Bora keeps asking you to stay with them on the contrary — but you know when you are being a third wheel. You'll be happy if they just enjoy themselves. You don't need them to keep you occupied.
You find Dae shortly after, linking your arms with her instantly as she leads you towards the bar, offering to buy the first drink. You don't tell her it's already your second one, grinning as she hands you a shot glass. You grimace as the liquid goes down your throat. Dae has a similar expression, settling the glass down on the bar again.
"Let's dance!"
"I'm not drunk enough for that," you shake your head no, making her roll her eyes.
"Just say you want another drink, no need to find excuses."
You giggle softly, "anything but what we just had please."
You stay near the bar with her, talking about anything that comes to mind while drinking together. You're both just mostly complaining about school, the other nodding in understanding. The only difference between your usual hangouts is the music playing in your ears.
"Have you told her yet about the terrible physics assigment we have for next week?" You look up when you hear Jake's voice as he joins Dae's side. She groans at just the mention of it, making you laugh. "What are you guys drinking?" He wonders, looking at the empty glasses in your hands. You were so busy talking you didn't have time to order another one yet.
"Are you buying?" You raise an eyebrow in question.
"No, but I'm sure you guys can just wink at Seungcheol and you'll have your drinks for the rest of the night secured," he smiles. "You both look amazing, by the way."
"Thank you," you and Dae chant in union, smile spreading on your lips. "You don't look too bad yourself," Dae shrugs and he fixes his tuxedo, suppressing his grin.
You shake your head at him, looking around the room to find the rest of his teammates. Seungcheol is standing with Jeonghan and Heeseung in the line, chatting about something as they wait for their turn to order. "Shall we try our luck?" You nudge Dae's shoulder, her eyes following your line of sight.
You leave Jake behind for now, making your way past the crowd to reach your new favorite players. To be fair, you think that'll be anyone who buys you drinks tonight. As long as that someone isn't Kim Mingyu. In that case, the person buying you drinks won't be your favorite. Not that you plan on letting him buy you any tonight either way. The only plan you have for tonight is to keep avoiding him and forget all about the pain you feel when you think about him with alcohol.
Heeseung whistles as soon as the two of you come into his sight, his two older teammates turning around instantly. Jeonghan offers you a warm smile while Seungcheol's eyes take their time taking all of Dae in. You have to fight back the urge to tell her you were absolutely right about him looking at her differently. While Seungcheol is known to be a flirt, getting girls anywhere he goes, there is a difference in the way he looks at them and your friend.
"Let me see a spin," he grins, raising his hands in the air for the two of you to hold and spin under. You brush him off, shaking your head. It makes him roll his eyes, but both of you know it doesn't mean anything. Just like you know it's not actually both of you he wants to see from the back. Dae doesn't give into his tactics either though, blinking at him innocently as she covers her ass with her hands and slowly turns around. All he can see is her hair, but he doesn't seem to mind that either. "Beautiful as always. The both of you."
"Think you can manage to keep it in your pants tonight, Choi?" Your eyes close shut at the familiar voice. You refuse to look his way, but even then you know there is a beautiful man towering over you.
Seungcheol raises his hands in defense, a lazy smile on his lips. "I was just about to buy them a drink. You don't possibly have anything against that, do you?"
There is a moment of silence before Mingyu grumbles a whatever, cutting in line and finding his place behind Heeseung. You don't acknowledge his presence, standing with your back facing him as you ask Seungcheol for a drink. You catch his eyes flickering between you and Mingyu in a question but you ignore it, pulling Dae into the chat instead.
As soon as you get your drink, you leave the group, heading towards Joshua, Seokmin and Jake, who you catch leaning against one of the tables. Dae follows you, leaving the four guys behind. Avoiding Mingyu means having to avoid some of his teammates at times as well, no matter how much you want to hang out with them.
"Your idea worked," you raise your glass for Jake to see, catching his attention as you join their table.
"Didn't even need to show him my ass," Dae smiles, making you chuckle at the memory of her spinning. "I call that a win."
"No idea why we got blessed like this but I'm glad we did," Seokmin grins, ear to ear.
"Where do you have Hansol and Riki? They are the only ones I didn't see yet," you wonder, looking around the place to prove your point.
"I haven't seen Hansol since we came either," Joshua shrugs.
"Who I've seen though," Jake starts, the smirk on his face telling you he knows something, "is Riki."
"He's with a girl, isn't he?" Dae reads right through him and Jake nods as he takes a sip of his drink. "I think I caught a glimpse of him before."
"He started talking to a girl as soon as we arrived. He wanted to dance and it worked. I left him then because I didn't want to third wheel," Jake explains. You immediately reach your hand to him, offering him a fist bump, saying you understand that quite well. "You know you don't need to third wheel tonight, though, right?"
"What do you mean?" You tilt your head, your eyebrow raised.
"I'm pretty sure there is a guy who is dying to talk to you," Jake points somewhere behind you and you turn around, your eyes widening when you see the group you left earlier. They are in the middle of a conversation and somehow, it's you who Mingyu has his eyes set on. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you quickly avert your eyes.
"We should go dance. You still want to dance, right Dae?"
She nods to your question and you look at the guys hopefully, needing to get out of here. "I'm not risking that," Seokmin shakes his head as he looks at you, his eyes flickering to who you can only assume to be Mingyu. "Seungcheol I'll gladly rile up, though. May I?" He extends his hand towards your friend, palm up. She giggles at his smile, holding his hand in hers and letting him pull her towards the dance floor.
"Guys," you plea, glancing between Jake and Joshua. They lock eyes together, neither one looking like they plan to dance with you tonight.
Jake meets your eyes again, debating what he should do. He is one of your closest friends and you'd like to think he won't let you down like this, but judging by his expression, you can't tell for sure. "Okay, wait here. I'll get you someone who doesn't have anything to lose by dancing with you."
"And what do you have to lose?" You grumble, annoyed. He is already gone, though.
"Don't take it to heart, please," Joshua offers you a comforting smile. "It's not like you did anything wrong, but we don't want to be the ones delivering the final blow. I'm not sure what happened between the two of you," he hesitates for a second, looking at the rest of his teammates, "but Mingyu has been ticked off since you stopped talking to him. It just feels like we are waiting for a bomb to go off."
You blink at him confusedly, your brows furrowing together. "And why would dancing with me have anything to do with it?"
Joshua gives you a knowing look, telling you you know exactly why that's connected. You open your mouth to argue and tell him that it's stupid, but no words come out. Thankfully, you don't have to look at his pitiful expression anymore though, your attention drifting away when you feel someone's hand settle on your lower back. You instantly relax when you see Seungcheol and Jake standing behind you, blinking up at them curiously.
"I told you I'd find you someone who doesn't fear the consequences," Jake shrugs when he meets your eyes.
"They are exaggerating," Seungcheol rolls his eyes.
"Thank you! I think so too," you nod.
Jake and Joshua exchange a look again but you don't pay it any attention, asking Cheol if he wants to dance with you. "I thought you wouldn't ask," he laughs, offering you his arm and tugging you away.
The music is loud in your ears as you sway your hips in the rhythm, laughing. Unlike Jake and Joshua, Seungcheol doesn't make you feel weird about the situation at all, acting as if nothing happened. He makes you laugh and forget about everything, doing exactly what you wished for tonight. You don't think about anything, only focusing on the man in front of you.
Seungcheol's arms stay on you, whether it's on your waist or simply holding your hands in his. You don't mind, barely noticing the touch. It doesn't feel like anything unusual or what you should be paying attention to. The two of you are friends after all.
You keep inching towards him due to the group of guys dancing behind you, trying your best to get further away from them so you wouldn't be bumping your ass into them every time you move. With the amount of space behind Seungcheol, there isn't much to do, the two of you naturally ending up close. You don't think anything of it, but Mingyu certainly can't say the same.
It's one thing for you to avoid him at all cost, but it's a completely different one to be climbing his friend's body while he is forced to watch from afar.
When Jake came to their group, wrapping his arms around Seungcheol while trying his hardest not to make eye contact with Mingyu, he already knew something was wrong. Turns out, everything was wrong. When Jake asked if Cheol would mind dancing with you because you are looking for someone who'd take you for a spin, he wanted nothing more than to interrupt their conversation and say he'll dance with you. Before he could, Seungcheol agreed and left with the younger one, leaving him there with Jeonghan and Heeseung.
Having to watch Seungcheol take your hand in his and lead you towards the dance floor has to have been one of the worst things he's had to see. Well, turns out it wasn't. Watching you actually dance with him and letting him touch you however he wants is much worse.
Gripping the glass of beer in his hands, he keeps his eyes on the two of you, completely ignoring the conversation Jeonghan and Heeseung are having beside him. He honestly could not care less about the training schedules in the upcoming week.
It hurt seeing Seungcheol take your hand and dance with you, but he could live with that. He could bear watching you dance with Seungcheol because you were having fun, and he would never wish to take away your fun. But now, you are just forced to squeeze together with him because the guys around you are being asses and he is sure it's making you uncomfortable.
So, logically speaking, he isn't ruining your fun anymore if you are already uncomfortable.
Plus, he really hates the sight of you and Seungcheol together. Somehow, he thinks if it was Jake in his place, he wouldn't care so much. Maybe because of the amount of times you made it clear to him there is nothing going on between you and Jake. He liked seeing you convince him so eagerly.
Seungcheol's hand slides down your back, resting dangerously low. There is a lazy grin on his lips as he talks to you, and it's the first time he's wanted to beat up his friend so bad. He can't see your expression since you are standing with your back to him, but he can see his friend's hand and that's all he needs. Even if he might be destroying your fun, he'll manage. He'll take whatever you throw his way, whether it may be your screams or punches. He'd much rather have you yell his ears off than continue watching you and his friends climb each other. At least then you'd be talking to him.
"Here, have this," he mumbles, handing his beer to Jeonghan. "I'm not drinking anymore."
Mingyu doesn't wait for his friends' response, not giving a damn if they are watching him or not as he makes his way through the dancing crowd, needing to get to you.
"Hey," he interrupts your giggles, his blood boiling for some reason at the idea of you laughing at something Seungcheol said. Both of you look his way, your big eyes staring right into his. It makes him feel a bit better about the situation for a moment, at least until you avert your eyes again. He wishes you'd look at him for longer than two seconds just once. He's been watching all night, unable to take his eyes off. It'd be nice to know you watch him too.
"Hey," Seungcheol slowly drops his hands to his side, wrapping one around Mingyu's shoulder. Mingyu sends him a glare, not playing with him at all. He snickers when he sees the serious look on Mingyu's face, taking his hand away again. "What are you doing here?"
Mingyu ignores him completely, only looking at you. "It's late, Blue."
You swallow hard upon hearing his voice, closing your eyes as if that'd magically make him disappear. Spoiler alert: it does not. "We should go home."
You frown, meeting his eyes. "We," you point between the two of you, "aren't going anywhere. I'm dancing if you haven't noticed. So if I'm going anywhere with anyone, it's Seungcheol."
"Blue," it comes out as a warning, only making you feel worse. He has no right to talk to you right now. He has no right to command what you do and who you do it with.
"I'm not going anywhere," you state, redirecting your attention to Seungcheol. "Plus, why do you even care?" you huff, resting your arms around Seungcheol's shoulders.
Mingyu's annoyance only grows. Pulling your hand away from the older man, he forces you to look at him again. As soon as he notices the look in your eyes he loosens his grip, allowing your hand to slip away. Fuck. He found another thing he hates more than being forced to watch you be so close with someone else. He absolutely despises how you look at him right now, like he is hurting you.
"Leave me alone, Mingyu," you beg him.
"Please just come with me, Blue," he pleads in return, completely forgetting about Seungcheol beside him. All he sees is you, everything else blurred together and forgotten.
"I don't want to," you whisper, your voice strained as you shake your head.
"Love," he tries again, desperate. His eyes widen as soon as he realizes what he just said, yours not doing any better. He shocks the both of you, but it seems to work as you slowly offer him your hand. He doesn't hesitate for a second, lacing his fingers with yours and tugging you away, as far from everyone as possible.
He only stops once you are standing outside and you slip your hand away again, hiding it behind your back. "I was having fun," you mumble, staring at the ground beneath your feet. "Do you hate me so much? Is that what this is about?"
"I don't like you having fun with Seungcheol of all people."
"Then let me go have fun with someone else!" You look up, locking eyes with him. You hate this conversation with every inch of your being, and you're sure it shows in your expression. You just want to go back and pretend this never happened, that you didn't just give in to him so easily again after everything. You were doing so good. So good. But he just had to ruin it again. He had to remind you he exists. "Since you can't even look at me all night, so why do you even give a fuck?"
"I wasn't able to look anywhere but at you tonight," he corrects you.
"Stop lying to me, dammit! I'm going back there, I'm having a drink, and I don't care if you like it or not!" You huff, turning around on your heel. You don't get a chance to walk away, though, his hand wrapping around your wrist and stopping you. It only takes him one swift tug to pull you flush into him, your hands landing right on his chest to stop yourself from falling.
"Please don't go," he begs again, his voice getting more and more desperate each time. You hate that you know it's coming from his heart, that he needs you to stay here with him and talk to him again. "Can't you just like me for the night, Blue?"
You'd like to blame it on the drinks you had tonight. You'd like to say you're hallucinating things by this point and this entire conversation is just a figment of your imagination, but you know damn well it's not. It's not even the alcohol in his system speaking and making him do dumb things. You hate him. You hate how easy it is for him to make you feel like this. Like you are on cloud nine.
You're lucky he can't see your face. Your cheeks are flushed, and most definitely not because of the liquor you had. You like him much more than he realizes, and you hate that as well. It'd be a lot easier if you knew how to pretend like you don't care, like you don't feel happiness when you are with him, and like his words don't effect you. But truth is, it never sucked more than in the past week when you were repeating his words in your head over and over again.
"Aren't you the one who doesn't have time for relationships?" You mumble. "Who would never date his coach's little daughter because it's not worth it?" You feel his arms stiffen on your back, the realization of what your anger is about settling in. You try hitting his chest, hoping to get him to answer, but your punch comes out more like a gentle nudge.
Tightening his hold, he embraces you in a warm hug. Pulling away from you, just enough to see you better, you are forced to look up at him, your eyes watery. "Is this what's been troubling you?" He asks, his voice gentle. He cups your face, his thumbs slowly stroking your cheeks. "What I said to the guys in the locker room?" He sighs heavily, every regret he felt in the past week regarding you in that little exhale. "I was stupid to think I could ever push aside my feelings towards you and focus on anything but those beautiful eyes of yours."
"Blue, my blue," he continues, refusing to break eye contact with you again. "This past week when you were ignoring me? Was so much worse for me than anything else I ever had to go through. I could not go a single minute without thinking about you, wondering what you are up to, and if someone else gets to enjoy your attention instead."
"That week fucking sucked," you complain.
A tiny smile appears on his lips, "Yeah," he agrees with a nod, his eyes dropping to your lips. "I'm sorry for being an idiot. I'm sorry you had to doubt anything and that I wasn't the one dancing with you tonight. But most importantly, I'm sorry for not realizing how important you are to me sooner." He finished his speech by leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. You melt in his touch instantly, the softness of his lips on yours helping you forget about everything that was bothering you until now.
It's the first time a kiss makes you feel like this — as if the world peace just happened. It's the happiest you've been in a long time, and you cannot express how grateful you are it's with Mingyu of all people. You did think about the slim chance of going home with someone later tonight, but truth is, you couldn't bring yourself to smile at the idea of anyone other than him having you like this.
Mingyu cradles your jaw, tilting your head for a better access. You slowly glide your hands up from his chest, wrapping them around his neck. It's the best kiss you've ever had. Maybe because it's the one you've felt the most during. Jungkook was nice, but he could never compare to how much you love Mingyu.
"Don't go up there again," he whispers against your lips, only to kiss you again. "Stay here with me."
"It's cold here," you tease him, knowing you'd stay anywhere with him right now.
"I'll warm you up," he promises, his hands moving from your face down to your back, feeling your curves before resting on your ass, giving it a squeeze as his lips meet yours again. He needs to get in all the kisses he missed out on by convincing himself you were nothing more than a friend he cared deeply about. He doesn't think it'll be a problem. He is getting addicted to you already, unable to let you go. As much as he loves kissing you, though, he pulls back again. "Please."
You don't answer him right away, looking up at him. He's truly beautiful from up close. Have you mentioned that yet? You don't think you say it enough. The mole on his nose, the brown of his eyes, the lips, he is the definition of perfect. "I can't just leave," you sigh. "I came here with my dad, remember? He'll be looking for me."
"Can we please not talk about my coach while I'm getting hard," he groans, throwing his head back and exposing his Adam's apple. Oh yeah, he is gorgeous.
Your eyes drop down to his crotch, not even hiding it as you gaze at the boner. Oh-oh. "Oh yeah, let's not talk about him," you shake your head.
"My eyes are up here, Blue," he reminds you.
You nod, "I know where your eyes are, Mingyu."
His chuckle bubbles in your ears as he leans down and presses a kiss to the top of your head. "Please, baby. Stay with me just for tonight. Tell your dad you'll stay with Dae and be with me. Let me catch up on what I missed."
Meeting his eyes again, you nod this time. Honestly, you want nothing more than to go with him. Not only because your core is aching now thanks to the outline you got to see through his dress pants, but also because you've been longing for this — to be able to be with Mingyu as more than friends. You want to kiss him all night long, cuddle until you fall asleep, and wake up with him still in the bed. You want to do all the domestic things couples do when they are in love.
A part of you also thinks you need to fully believe it's not just the heat of the moment for him. You need to see it happen with your own eyes before you truly believe there is a future and he won't change his mind later again, remembering where his priorities lay.
"My jacket and purse are still up there," you tell him and he nods instantly.
"I'll get them."
"I can go for it," you argue but he just pins you down with his look, showing you there is no way you are going anywhere right now.
"Please just stay here and look pretty for me, hm? I'll get it. I'll be out before you can start missing me."
That's not possible. You miss him all the time, even when he is right there with you. You don't tell him that, though. You need to keep his ego in check a little, take your time before you show him just how much you love him.
"Mingyu," you call as he jogs away towards the entrance. He turns to face you, his eyes finding yours curiously. "Don't let other girls see that boner, will you?"
He laughs, a sound so pretty you want to keep listening to it. "That's only for you, my love." He adjusts his clothes to prove his point before disappearing inside. You watch the door close behind him, his words echoing in your ears. Tonight will be a long night.
♡⸝⸝♡⸝⸝
You are quite certain your driver hates you. Mingyu managed to not only grab your things, but also call a taxi and find Dae to beg her to cover for you. As he told you, she was dancing with Seungcheol at that moment, so he also had to apologize to him, only for him to brush him off and focus on the girl holding his forearms again. You told him you were glad Cheol got some sense and asked her for a dance as well, which only lead to Mingyu kissing you all over again because he didn't like you talking so much about his friend.
Jealousy looks good on him. So good.
Kissing him back, you held his hand on top of your thigh the entire ride, trying to ground yourself as to not ask him to fuck you right then and there in front of the driver. That'd be embarrassing.
But truth be, you wanted nothing more but.
Mingyu leads you inside his apartment, kicking his shoes off as soon as he steps inside. You bent down to undo your own heels, but he stops you before you can. Blinking up at him, you watch him confusedly before he hooks his hand around your waist and picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder as if you don't weigh anything. A yelp escapes your lips, a disbelieving laugh following right after as you frantically look over his apartment. His hands are wrapped around your thighs as he holds you in place, a clear goal in his mind.
You only get off him once you are in the bedroom, your back hitting the softness of his mattress. Prompting yourself up on your elbows, you watch him from his bed. It's the one place you dreamed about a lot before. It's so much better than you imagined, though. You're not sure if it's on purpose, or if he even realizes it, but his sheets are navy, his room decor matching it. His walls are white, lined with all kinds of pictures and posters of basketball players. If you were to explain his room in two words, you'd use blue and basketball. Your smile grows. It suits him.
Just like the suit he is wearing does. God. As he stands in front of the bed, his hair messy from when you ran your fingers through it as you kissed him in the car, you are unable to look away. "Why am I in my shoes still?" You tilt your head without breaking eye contact.
"Because they look so fucking good on you I need to look a bit more." He doesn't hide how hungry he is as his eyes scan your whole, from your ankles up to your face.
"They are uncomfortable, though," you complain and he doesn't hesitate any longer, climbing onto the bed to you, bending your knees and forcing them up. The bottom of your dress covers your view of him, making you frown. "Mingyu," you call, wanting to see him.
He hums, bringing one of your feet to himself, slowly undoing the heel and slipping it off. You stretch your leg out, clearing your view again. Pressing your foot to his chest, you watch as he wraps his hand around your ankle before dipping under the hem of your dress. He caresses your calf, eyes gazing into yours. Following the same process, he gets your other shoe off as well, releasing you of the pain.
"You look stunning tonight. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner," he presses a kiss to your ankle, looking up at you. You bite back a moan at the sight, shaking your head. "I should have done so many things earlier, I'm sorry."
You don't get a chance to answer before he is scooping you up and pulling you onto himself with ease, putting you right where he wants. This time a moan escapes you as you crash your lips with his, stranding his lap. He groans at your reaction, gripping your ass tightly and helping you roll your hips forward. "I'll make it up to you," he promises softly — a completely different feeling from how hard he grips your flesh. "I'll be so good to you."
His name falls off your lips as you rock your hips on top of him, chasing the well needed friction. "That's it, baby. Take what you need," he coos, lowering his lips to your shoulder. Brushing one of the straps holding your dress off, he replaces the fabric with his lips, pressing kisses to your skin. He needs to focus on something else. But it's hard when you moan into his ear so prettily. If it continues like this, he might as well come in his pants from how you ride his clothed erection.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him away from your neck so you can look at him. His big eyes stare right into yours, nothing but want behind them. "So beautiful," he praises, pressing his lips to yours. He buckles your dress at your hips, sliding his hands under and gripping your ass again. His fingers toy with your thong, pulling on the fabric and making you moan. "Please tell me you wore this for me," he groans.
You nod frantically. Even though you didn't expect to end up here when you were getting ready, a part of you has been dressing in hopes of him getting to see for a while now. You'd like to convince yourself you wore it so no line would be shows on your dress, but that's not the only truth. If it were, you wouldn't have worn any panties at all.
Maybe that's what you should have went with actually. Right now, as your thong gets soaked in your wetness, definitely leaving a stain on his pants as well, you wish you would be bare.
His name leaves your lips in a desperate plea. You're not sure what exactly it is you are begging for, but you need him. In any way he gives you. He tilts his head, a teasing smirk on his lips. "What do you need, baby? Use your words."
"Need to come," you answer immediately, rocking your hips forward. It's not enough, though. You need more. "Can you please help me," you whine, your head falling to his shoulder, "Please, just this once."
He doesn't need to hear more, throwing you back onto the bed, a needy whine escaping you when you lose the friction entirely. He takes a second to take you in again, your dress bucked up at your hips and your lower half covered in only your soaked panties and stockings. He's going to lose his mind soon. Your messy hair sprawled all over his pillow, your cunt soaked because of him, your lips chanting his name, what could be better?
Settling himself between your legs, he spreads them apart, taking a good look at your pussy. It's embarrassing, your cheeks heating up. You feel hot all over, a shiver running down your spine as he rubs your clit with his thumb. "Just so we are clear," he tugs at the fabric of your stockings harshly, ripping it apart. "We aren't doing this 'just this once'," he states firmly. "I don't think I'll ever get you out of my system again."
You try to cover your pussy with your hands when he tugs at your thong, the fabric sliding between your folds. It's no use though, Mingyu simply shaking his head at your attempt before taking your hands away with his free one. He pins them above your head, taking the opportunity to kiss you again before lowering himself. "Be a good girl and hold them there, will you? I'll make you feel good in return." He waits for your agreement, watching as your nod eagerly.
Smirking, he hooks his fingers in your thong again, pulling it to the side this time. You can feel his breath on your throbbing clit, your hips thrusting forward on instincts. "Tell me what you like, Blue," he prompts as he gives a soft kiss to your clit. "How do you touch yourself?"
When he doesn't move again, waiting for your answer, you open your mouth. "Slow rubs at first," you mumble, raising your head to see him better. He presses two of his fingers to your clit, doing as you tell him. Fuck. It feels way better like this. You are convinced he can read your mind because he is doing exactly what you always do.
"How about here?" He circles your hole with his thumb, looking up to see your reaction. "Do you ever finger yourself?"
"Sometimes," you moan.
He hums back, replacing his fingers with his tongue, licking slow circles around it while his fingers nudge you open. He thrusts two digits inside, curving them in hopes to find your sweet spot. "God," you gasp instantly, clenching around his fingers at the pleasure.
"Not my name," he shakes his head slightly, his lips wrapping around the bundle of nerves and sucking, speeding his movements at the same time. Your head falls back, your back arching off the bed. It feels too good. Your orgasm quickly builds up, your moans filling the room. The sound is a pleasure to his ears, his cock twitching in his pants every time he feels you clench around his fingers or your hips thrust up against him. It's not an exaggeration when he says you're the best pussy he's ever eaten, every inch of his body craving more. If he could, he'd have you laid out on his bed like this forever, eating you as every course of the day.
Your hands shoot to his hair, keeping him close as you feel your orgasm approaching, needing to find that release. He let's you ride his face, his fingers still thrusting into you. It's only when you finish with a loud moan, your legs shaking around him, that he pulls them out, licking them clean while looking at you. "I was going to tell you how fucking good you taste, but where are your hands, baby?" You whine as you quickly pull them away, pinning them above your head, exactly like he put them before. "And to think I had plans with you," he shakes his head, trying to sound disappointed. "But girls who don't listen shouldn't get a reward, should they?"
You whine, shaking your head. You're not sure why, if you're trying to agree or argue with him. His voice makes you wet all over again, the fact you just came doing nothing to stop how much you want him. "Please, Mingyu," you beg, desperate to get more, just one more orgasm. "I'll be good. I'll be such a good girl for you."
Oh fuck me — is the only thing Mingyu can think about as he looks at you, his eyes rolling back as he listens to you. It's safe to say he is addicted. How could he not be? He seriously believes everyone who let you go before was an idiot, as much as he appreciates they did because now he gets to be the one seeing you like this. His Blue. Oh how he loves the sound of that. "How could I ever say no to you?"
Finally taking off your clothes fully, you lay in front of him naked, your eyes glued to him as he stands in front of the bed, undoing his tie. You've never seen anything more attractive. Dipping your hand between your legs, you rub your clit slowly. His eyes fall down to your hand instantly, enjoying the view as he takes off the rest of his clothes, peeling off layer by layer.
He takes his time, teasing you while you desperately finger yourself in a poor attempt to reach your orgasm again. It doesn't feel as good as when he did it, though. Your fingers don't feel like enough, sad whines leaving your lips. "Oh, baby," he coos, joining you on the bed. "Do you want one more that badly?" You nod, unable to answer with words.
You take your chance as soon as he is close enough, your free hand reaching for him, wrapping around his cock. You had no doubt he'll be big but getting to feel him for yourself makes it so much better. Rubbing your thumb over his tip, you blink up at him to see his reaction. "Blue, if you want me to fuck you tonight you need to stop or I'll come before learning how it feels like to have you on my cock."
Your eyes roll back at his words, your hand not doing anything to stop. You jerk him off slowly, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring him even closer. "My needy little girl," he shakes his head, leaning down to press his lips to yours. You stop moving your hand, only holding him now before he takes your hand in his and brings them up. "Play with your boobs for me."
Listening to him, you pinch your nipples with your fingers. "You're so beautiful," he praises, kissing your cheek before moving down. He presses a kiss to your neck, to your breast, to your arm, to your belly, even to your thigh. He doesn't kiss where you need him the most, though, only teasing your further. He wraps his hand around his length, slapping his tip against your clit a few times. His eyes flicker between your pussy, to your chest, and then your face, trying to remember everything about this moment as well as he can.
"Mingyu, please," you cry, squeezing your boobs while thrusting your hips forward. Chuckling, he reaches into his nightstand, pulling out a condom from the first drawer. Your quickly wrap your hand around his wrist, stopping him before he can open the wrap. "I'm, uh, I am clean. I haven't been with many people before. I'm not on birth control but I could," you avert your eyes from him, embarrassed now that you started talked. "I could get the after pill in the morning. If you want."
"Are you sure?" His eyes widen, his hand holding your chin instantly and making you look at him. "There is no pressure here," he assures you. "I'm perfectly fine with a condom."
You shake your head, biting your lower lip nervously. "I want to feel you."
"Fuck," he groans, throwing the condom somewhere on the floor as he steals a kiss from you again. "I've never fucked without one before," he whispers between kisses, absolutely drunk on you.
"But you would with me?"
"My love, you are the only girl I'd want to feel bare," he proclaims, aligning himself properly without breaking the kiss. You feel his tip slide into you, your mouth falling open at the sudden stretch. "I got you," he promises softly, brushing your sweaty hair out of your face while slowly thrusting into you.
He takes his time, not wanting to rush anywhere. You feel incredible.
You think the same way, your eyes rolling back as your walls wrap around his cock, feeling every one of his veins. You're starting to understand why people don't use condoms. You never imagined you'd go without one, considering you aren't on the pill, but you wouldn't change it for anything now that you know what it's like. If there is anyone you'd risk it for, it's Kim Mingyu either way.
His left hand slides down your sides, feeling every inch of your body. You are sweating, but so is he. "I love these curves," he tells you, squeezing any flesh he can find. "I love these lips," he kisses you to prove his point. "This brain of yours, these hands, this soul, this fucking pussy," he thrusts into you harshly, groaning at the same time. "God, I love you, Blue."
Your back arches from the bed, your moans growing louder. You don't think you can tell him now, not even sure if he means what he says at the moment, but it's exactly how you feel. You definitely love him, there is no questioning that. You'll tell him another time for sure. You'll tell him exactly how much he means to you once your mind isn't fully occupied by his dick.
You run your hands down his back, leaving your prints as you slide your hands down until you get to his ass, holding it as he thrusts into you. "I'm going to spill all over you," he groans between thrusts, his movements becoming sloppy as he gets close to his orgasm. "Fill you up so nicely, hm?"
"Yes," you gasp, nodding frantically. The idea itself makes your head spin, and while you are in no way ready to have a baby and definitely will get the pill in the morning, Mingyu filling you up with his cum just made it to the top of your to do list. Your heels dig into his lower back, making it impossible for him to pull away — which you both know he doesn't want to do anyway.
"Get you pregnant," he moans at the thought, caressing your belly with his hand, feeling himself thrust into you. "Fuck, you'd look so good with my baby."
"You want to put a baby in me?" You blink at him prettily, rolling your hips forward to reach your orgasm as well. He curses under his breath, claiming your lips in his. He doesn't need to say it because you can see it in his eyes that the answer is absolutely yes. God, how you'd love to have his kid in a few years. "So close," you moan as he pulls back, feeling your orgasm approaching.
"Me too, love," he tells you, running his hand down to your clit, rubbing circles around the sensitive bundle to help you.
It doesn't take much longer for the two of you to come together, Mingyu's cum covering your inside white just like he said he would. You're so fully, your breath heavy as you ride out your high. He lets you, holding you through it before pulling out, running his fingers through his hair to get the sweaty stands off his face.
"You did so well," he praises with a smile on his face, kissing you so lovingly you fall for him all over again. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you keep him close as you kiss him back, melting into his sheets. "Let's get you washed up, hm?" He nudges his nose with yours. You don't think words could ever express how he makes you feel. He makes sure all the doubts you could possibly have are gone, his gentle touch and words grounding you in the exact way you need.
You nod to him and he scoops you up with ease, one of his hands under your thighs and the other holding your back. Wrapping your arms around him, you hold onto him tightly while he carries you into his bathroom, sitting you on the edge while setting the temperature. "I'll get you some clothes. The water is warm enough so you can get in if you want. I'll be right back here." You nod, watching his naked butt as he leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind himself to prevent the warmth from escaping.
You take a look around his bathroom, around his products in the shower and the interior, smiling. It's exactly how you expected. No three-in-one shampoos or questionable laundry products but genuinely good stuff instead, fragrances and everything organized. You wonder if he realizes his towel is also blue. Chuckling, you turn around on the edge of his tub, slowly getting in. You let the water fill it up slowly, closing your eyes and letting yourself relax.
When the door opens again, Mingyu is still naked. Holding a shirt and a pair of his boxers in one hand, he loads the washer with his dirty sheets with the other one. You watch him from the comfort of his tub, leaning your chin on your arm. He's got an incredible body. Broad shoulders, pretty back, pretty ass and legs. He is absolutely perfect. He smiles at you, his grin full of genuine happiness. Returning his smile, you scoot forward to make space for him, waiting for him to join you.
He sits behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into him. You lean back against him, closing your eyes again. "Thank you for being so great," you whisper into the silence.
He shakes his head, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. "Thank you for not giving up on me."
Mingyu helps you wash your hair as well as clean your whole body off, his touch nothing but gentle. He kisses you all over, whispering praises from the bottom of his heart. He wraps you in one of his shirts as soon as you're dried off, not wanting you to get cold. It's big on you, enough for it to be the only thing you could wear, but you reach for his boxers as well either way. He looks like a little boy who just got his birthday present when he looks at you in his clothes, needing to hold back not to take you all over again in his bathroom. He has to remind himself he'll have more time for that later, helping you sit on his washer instead so he could dry your hair.
The sheets are already changed when you leave the bathroom again — the reason he took a while before joining you in the bathroom, you assume. There are still blue, though, and it makes you smile. Falling into his bed, you feel on cloud nine instantly. He joins your side, letting you lay on his arm while he hugs you with the other one, embracing you in a hug. His blanket is warm enough to make sure you don't get cold during the night, but you can't say you would complain about his way of keeping you warm. Resting your head against his chest, you fall asleep to the soft sound of his breath, already looking forward to the next days you'll be spending together.
You love your boyfriend. You haven't been able to tell him yet, but you absolutely do. And now, seeing the flowers in your hands, you are sure to tell him the next time you see him.
There weren't any questions or doubts about where the two of you stood the day after the ball, Mingyu apologizing all over again in the morning over breakfast before asking you if you'd be his girlfriend. You couldn't say no even if you wanted to. He got you flowers as he walked you home later that afternoon, forcing you to come up with a bunch of excuses when your dad saw you holding a bouquet of tulips.
It's been a month since then, and it's now the third bouquet you received. It's lilies this time around, and they are absolutely beautiful. He had them delivered to you shortly before his training, after your dad was already out of the house thankfully. You have not been able to stop smiling since then, rereading the messages he sent you before he needed to go.
Who knew a twenty-eight year old could be so sappy? He is adorable, acting like a teen in love for the first time at times. But those moments are often quickly suppressed by him reminding you he is older after all, taking care of you in any and every way before you can even realize you're in need of something. From checking on you all throughout the day and sending you food when you don't have the time to make something for yourself, to making as much free time as possible for you. You see each other often, but it still doesn't feel like enough.
You sometimes just lay in his bed, studying, while he does his work out, or the two of you go out together, taking a stroll around as a form of break. He always knows what you need, and you're incredibly grateful to him for that. You haven't been able to see each other in the past week at all due to your schedule crash, but it's okay. You can't possibly complain when he is so in love he just sent you flowers just because he could.
Replacing your old peonies with the lilies on your bedside table, you smile before resting in your bed with your study materials, ready to dive into work again.
It's shortly past eleven when your phone starts blowing up. Frowning, you almost kick your cat off your bed as you turn around to shut it down. You were just about to fall asleep, finally in the right position, but someone just needed to make your night worse.
Or in this case, actually, better.
You peek one eye open to see if it's anything important, blinking confusedly at the bunch of messages and missed calls from Mingyu. You sit up straight, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hands before looking at your phone again. You don't even read what he said, immediately dialing his number to see what's going on.
It rings twice before it stops and his voice comes through, "Come open the door so I don't have to climb through the window like some fucking teenager."
You blink confusedly, his words slowly turning around in your head until they clock together. "You're here?"
"Not reading my texts anymore? Is this the 'I hate my boyfriend' I've seen around?"
"No!" You quickly shake your head as if he could see you, quickly getting from your bed. You don't bother sliding on your slippers, rushing out of your room barefoot. Snowy looks up to see what you're doing but doesn't follow you downstairs, staying in your bed.
Mingyu laughs on the other side of the phone while you run down the stairs, doing your best to stay quiet and not wake up your dad. You open the door, finally exhaling as you look at your boyfriend standing outside. His eyes trail down your figure, his smile widening as he takes the sight of you in. He hangs up the call without averting his eyes from you, enjoying the view you provided him.
It's only then that you realize what you're wearing — a baby blue tank with lacy lines and matching shorts. You clear your throat, stepping aside so he could walk in. "What are you doing here?" You wonder, covering your chest by crossing your arms over it.
He raises a questioning brow at that. "You do remember the fact I saw you with less on, right?"
"That's different, though," you mumble and he shakes his head.
"Would you rather I take it off then?" He crosses the space between you, closing the door on his way. Not waiting for your answer, he cups your cheek and presses his lips to yours in a greeting. "Hi."
"Hi," you smile. "I was just about to fall asleep. I almost didn't even know you were here."
"It's eleven," he states, as if you weren't already aware of that.
You shrug, "I was tired."
"I'm sorry for keeping you up," he finds another excuse to kiss you. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," you kiss him back, your hands falling down to your sides again before lacing with his. "Are you going to stay with me?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Always," you assure him.
Leading him upstairs again, you keep your hands locked as you walk through the hall. You are quick to lock your bedroom door just in case, not taking any chances. It feels weird sneaking around like this when you are a grown adult, but it's the only option you see at the moment. You don't want to be explaining to your dad you are dating his player just yet.
"There's my little guy," Mingyu lets go of your hand as soon as his eyes land on your cat sprawled out on your bed. You watch him lovingly as he pets his head, rubbing the top of his head. Snowy isn't the biggest people loving cat, and often takes time to warm up to others, so seeing him lean into Mingyu's touch makes you smile. It may be because of how tired he is, but you like thinking it's because he knows Mingyu is a good guy. "Were you keeping my girl company while I was busy? Yeah?"
"He seems to like you," you whisper, wrapping your hands around his waist from behind.
"Your family seems to do that, yes," he grins.
"Don't ruin it for yourself."
"I couldn't." Turning around, he stands face to face with you again, sitting on the edge of your bed and resting his hands on your sides. You stand between his spread legs, cupping his face as you gaze into his eyes. "Hi," he smiles again.
"Hi," you smile back, leaning down to give him a kiss. It's tender and sweet, conveying exactly how you feel having him in your room.
Mingyu's hands slide under your tank, needing to feel your skin on his fingers. You let him, melting into his touch instantly. You seem to do that a lot. In return, you slide your hands under his shirt as well. Unlike him, though, you take the fabric off, dropping it to the ground. "Take your pants off."
His smile turns teasing, his hands dropping to the waistband of his pants without a second of hesitation. "Do I get to see you naked in return or is it only you having fun tonight?" He pushes the pants to the floor and you roll your eyes.
You don't answer him, walking around him to the other side of the bed. You can feel his eyes on your ass as you walk, your smile growing. You lift the covers, sliding under them without another word, ready to go to sleep. Snowy gets up at the same time, looking offended as he jumps down. You chuckle at his reaction. You barely brushed him as you got into the bed, but he seems to have taken that as a hint to get off either way.
"That was mean," Mingyu complains, and you're not sure if he's referring to your cat or the fact you left him sitting in just his boxers, expecting something more.
"You should get used to it," you tell him simply, closing your eyes. You can't suppress your smile as he slides under the covers with you, his hands finding you instantly. He pulls you flush against him, your legs tangling with his.
"Good night, baby," he whispers, kissing the top of your hair. You relax in his hold, resting your head against his bare chest.
"Hey, Mingyu?"
"Hm?" He hums back without moving an inch.
"I love you."
You don't need to look at him to know he is smiling, his hold tightening.
"Hey, Blue?" You hum in response, knowing where this is going. "I love you."
♡⸝⸝♡⸝⸝
You're the first one to wake up in the morning, which isn't a surprise to you. Mingyu likes to sleep in, just like he likes staying up late. You fell asleep almost instantly after, the last thing you remember being Mingyu's lips on your shoulder. You turned your back to him while trying to find the perfect position, and he immediately used that opportunity to brush aside your tank top stripe and kiss your skin all over. It was easy falling asleep like that. You couldn't guess when he fell asleep, but hopefully it didn't take him too long.
You slip from his hold, taking a minute to wake up properly as you sit on the edge of the bed. Mingyu is sleeping soundlessly, hugging the blanket. Snowy jumps up to join him as soon as you make the space for him, glancing at you briefly before cuddling up to Mingyu's side.
"You like him a lot, huh," you whisper, rubbing him behind his ears before standing up.
Your dad is already awake as well when you get downstairs. "Good morning!" You call to him, disappearing into the kitchen. You hear him greet you back from the living room, the sound of his favorite video game playing on the TV. You look through the cabinets and fridge, trying to figure out what you should make for breakfast. You have no idea when Mingyu will wake up, so it makes it harder to decide.
You eventually take out a few eggs and bacon from the fridge as well as the toast from the cabinet. You'll just wake him up when you come back up. Hopefully, he won't mind. You move around the kitchen while listening to your dad play his game, humming to yourself. There is still a huge problem waiting for you, but you're choosing to leave it up to your future self to somehow sneak Mingyu out of the house.
You finish planting everything, taking the two plates out of the kitchen with you. But because your luck apparently sucks, your dad is on his way to the bathroom at the same time, eyeing you confusedly upon seeing how much food you're taking upstairs.
"I'm really hungry," you blurt out quickly. "I didn't have dinner last night so I'm starving right now."
"Why didn't you put it all on one plate?" He questions, trying to understand your trail of thoughts.
You shrug, trying to stay as casual as possible. "I'll wash it later, don't worry." He simply shakes his head at you, brushing you off and going upstairs first. You feel the weight lift off your shoulders instantly, relief washing over you. That's one question out of the way. You jog up the stairs after him, disappearing in your room while your dad goes to the bathroom.
As if he could read your mind, Mingyu is already awake when you come in. He is sitting in your bed, his clothes still on the floor and Snowy still on his side. He has one hand on your cat, rubbing the spot behind his ears while scrolling on his phone with the other, his eyes lifting up when he hears the door closing. "Good morning," you greet him, crossing the room and handing him his breakfast.
"Good morning," he leans over to kiss you.
You sit between his opened legs, resting the plate in your lap. "I just had to explain to my dad how it totally makes sense I'm eating two portions," you sigh.
"Yeah? Did he believe you?" He wonders, taking a bite. "This is really good!" He signs.
You roll your eyes at his reaction. "Eggs," you remind him. "There is no way you just complimented the way I make eggs." Kim Mingyu, who is the greatest cook you know right after your dad. Yeah, right.
"What?" He shrugs. "I'm a simple man."
"You're an idiot," you shake your head, taking a bite yourself. "I don't think it even crossed his mind I might be hiding a boy in my room at my age, so I think we are good."
"At your age," he repeats with a laugh. "Do you feel old or something, baby?"
"I feel quite annoyed if you ask me," you nudge him with your feet, only for him to nudge you right back. Your morning is already filled with giggles and playful fighting as you eat your breakfast together, reminding you how much you love this man.
"I forgot to ask," the door of your rooms comes to an open, your dad's face falling into your vision. Right. "Did you get the message about Saturday's schedule—" he stops mid sentence as his eyes land on you and Mingyu in your bed, his bare chest on full display and his clothes on the floor. You close your eyes shut, regretting not locking the door after you came in.
You knew there was going to be a time he'd find out, you just didn't want it to be now. Truthfully, you liked having him just to yourself. Being able to live in this little bubble with just you and him without everyone knowing. Dae knows, of course. After covering for you the night of the ball, it was only natural for her to ask a bunch of questions, questions you didn't feel like lying about. Most of the guys probably have an idea as well, but that's all. Other than that, it was just you and Mingyu living in your own world, and you liked that.
"Yeah, Saturday, the, uh, men tournament. I got it. I said I'll be there," you answer as if nothing happened.
Mingyu clears his throat, glancing between you and your dad. "Good morning, coach." He sounds awkward, which you certainly don't blame him for. Closing your eyes shut, you run through all the possible worst case scenarios that could follow. You just hope he doesn't take it out on Mingyu and bench him for the rest of the season.
"Mingyu," he blinks, finally acknowledging his presence. "Do I want to know what you're doing shirtless at my house so early in the morning?"
"Having eggs?" He raises his plate to prove his point, looking at you for some sort of help when your dad's eyes stay locked on him. Mingyu sighs when your eyes tell him you have no idea what to do, deciding to take it into his own hands. "I came in last night because I missed my girlfriend, coach. I'm sure you know how busy her classes have been keeping her lately. I slept over, and I'm sorry for not saying hello earlier?" He offers a sheepish smile, one that might work on you but you're not sure will have the same effect on your dad.
"You looking to end your career anytime soon?"
"If I have any say then no, sir," Mingyu shakes his head instantly. "I want to keep playing."
"So no pregnancy leaves or anything like that?"
"Dad!" You yell immediately.
"What? I need to make sure one of my best players isn't looking to quit when we just gained him last year," your dad shrugs as if it was the most obvious thing.
"I'm not planning on doing that anytime soon," Mingyu assures him and your dad nods, his eyes briefly flickering between you and him before sighing. He turns on his heel, ready to leave the room again. You blink confusedly. That went a lot better than you expected.
"And Mingyu?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Wear your clothes, will you?"
It's cold today. The goose bumps on your arms only prove that. You regret not bringing something warmer with you as you stand in front of your shop, watching the game from the entrance before your snack bar. The only thing making it a little easier for you is the fact you catch Mingyu's eyes every once in a while, his smile widening every time he is reminded you are wearing his jersey number on your back.
Dae called you out on it as soon as you came in before the game started, teasing you the entire time. You couldn't even care. Not when you are this proud to be wearing his number on your back while he keeps winning all his games, getting closer to his goal.
The crowd is buzzing with excitement, cheering loudly for both teams on the court. You and Dae aren't far behind, screaming your lungs out as well. You were a little scared before when you saw the change in the core five, but Riki and Jake are doing perfect in the game so far.
People keep coming in and out, but Dae takes care of most of their orders, allowing you to keep watching the game. She excuses it with the fact you'll have more to do once the game is over, but you know deep down she's doing it because she simply wants to give you the opportunity to watch them.
"If it isn't the new Mrs. Kim." You glance at the customer beside you, offering an awkward smile. He used to play with your dad when you were little, but it's been so long you can't remember his name. "He is doing great today. I'm sure your dad is proud to have him in the family."
You clear your throat, glancing at Dae for some sort of help. She only gives you a look, one telling you she finds this just as weird. "We, uhm, definitely aren't at that stage yet," you shake your head, joining Dae behind the counter and taking your position. "I'll let him know you think he played well today, though. I'm sure he'll appreciate that."
He brushes you off, "No need. We are all waiting to tell the team ourselves how well they are doing once they win." There is no doubt in his voice about how today's game will turn out and it makes you smile. You know they'll take the win as well. Despite it being a tie right now, both teams at their best, you don't question them even for a second. "You should come with us later. I heard there is a ceremony drink ready for the team."
"I don't know if we'll be able to," you turn him down gently. As much as you'd love to go for a drink with the guys once the game is over, it's not like you can when you're behind the bar, being the provider of their alcohol. "Maybe next time."
You serve him a beer, waiting a bit after he leaves before going to watch the game with Dae again. 68:63 for the Knights. They scored four more points while you weren't looking, and it makes you so much prouder. They got this. Just five more minutes like this and they'll have their spot in the finale guaranteed. You cheer as loudly as before, if not louder.
Watching the game, you realize how much you truly missed the sport. You can't say you'd want to be in their spot again, but you love watching the game and cheering for the team, cheering for your boyfriend. It feels great.
The entire crowd erupts at the buzzer beater, all the guys running together to the center, huge grins and loud noises filling your ears. They won. 81:79. It was Seungcheol scoring the final two points, and you don't think you've ever seen Dae more excited about the game than at that moment. She's been learning the rules lately and understanding the principles more and more every time. And while she says it's because she realized it's more fun when you know what's going on, you know a certain captain has his hands in the sudden change.
You both clap as best as you can while the guys hug themselves, pulling your dad in as well. It makes you laugh seeing them practically drag him down. Your eyes flicker around all of them, trying to find the number 17 you're the most excited to see. You frown when you don't see his messy hair anywhere, standing on your tip toes in an attempt to see better.
Your vision is quickly clouded with the image of a red jersey though, your eyes trailing up his body until they finally lend on the chocolate eyes you love so much. "Hi," he smiles sweetly, all sweaty and his hair sticking to his forehead.
"Hi," you greet him back, unable to hide your smile.
"That's my number you're wearing," he points out, his grin as big as yours.
"Oh? This thing?" You turn around to show him your back with his name on it. He's seen the jersey many times already, but his reaction never changes. "I just threw something on."
"The prettiest shirt ever," he crosses the space between you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulls you in for a kiss. By the sounds around, there are already people coming in to order a drink, but he doesn't care at all, keeping you as close as he can. "My name looks perfect on you."
"I've been told," you giggle, your palms pressed against his chest. "Pretty sure someone told me just last night."
"Must have been a genius," he hums, his hands sliding down to your ass and giving it a tight squeeze as he kisses you again, just because he can.
"Celebrate on your own time." There is a slap coming to Mingyu's shoulder, one you know is encouraging as soon as your eyes land on Bora.
"I can't. I'm too impatient," Mingyu argues, offering Bora a soft smile. You tap his chest with your palm, bringing his eyes to yours again. He sighs when he realizes what you want, stealing one last kiss from you before taking a step back.
"Go celebrate with your team, this is big for all of you," you nod your head towards the rest of the guys still on the court.
He doesn't even glance their way, keeping his eyes on you. "I was celebrating with my team before I was interrupted." You roll your eyes at him despite finding him adorable.
"Ignore his corny ass," Bora shakes her head, but the smile on her face as she wraps her arm around your shoulders tells you just how much she loves this for you as well. "There is a line of people waiting for a drink, and I'd love to use my friend card and cut in line, so hurry."
You laugh with her as you walk to the bar, glancing over your shoulder at Mingyu once more. He is still watching you, so you take the opportunity and pull your head to the side, showcasing him the name on your jersey once more. He is right, you also think Kim looks great on you.
⚬ pairing: ice hockey player! kim mingyu x fem! reader
⚬ word count: 12k for part one
⚬ warnings for part one: alcohol, drinking, food, unrequited love and depiction of certain symptoms of depression, eventual smut, violence, slutshaming and derogatory language, harassment and other mature themes MDNI
⚬ genres: uni au, friends to lovers to enemies, forbidden romance(!!!), slow burn, angst, fluff sometimes, hurt/comfort. seungcheol, chaeyoung (bp or twice, your choice), dokyeom (perpetual gyu bestfriend in lunaverse) and jihyo (perpetual lesbian icon in lunaverse because i refuse to give her to a m*n) make an appearance.
playlist for part one <3
something stupid by frank and nancy sinatra
lacy by olivia rodrigo
high and dry by radiohead
the greatest by billie eilish
scar tissue by red hot chilli peppers
credits: to @uzmacchiato for the gorgeous lace dividers and to my pookie @nerdycheol for reading the first few chapters and telling me not to trash this.
author's note: none of this is beta read so please do not expect this to be perfect. this one's going to be quite a long fic so i shall be releasing it in a total of three or four parts, please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3
CHAPTER 1: no longer who i used to be
Kim Mingyu never thought that a day would come where he’d step into his favorite restaurant in the town after a day of gruelling practice and his first thought would be that he’d rather die than face his friends over dinner.
But life is full of surprises — it has its ways of blanketing the brightest of suns with a grey cloud of gloom. And as he tugs at the knot of tie for what seems like the seventh time in the last one minute as the hostess leads him in, Mingyu already looks exhausted.
“You’re the first one of the party to arrive,” she looks over her shoulder, her maroon-coated lips stretched into a professional curve.
He nods.
She shows him to the largest table draped in lilac satin as per Chaeyoung’s request and replaces the ‘reserved’ sign with a menu-card.
“Should I get you some water?” she asks, wiping the table again, just in case. “Or anything to start. Your server will be here shortly.”
“No, I’m good for now.” he clears his throat and tries to unlock his jaw, “I’ll just wait for the others.”
She smiles and walks away like she has done multiple times in the last one year that he has been frequenting this place.
It is one of his favorites, truly.
Rustic interior drowned in darkness with moody lighting cascading only upon the things that matter. Familiar staff who humor him every time he shows up with his friends or his team after a game. Music tuned just enough to allow loud conversations of joy to echo while filtering out the ones weighed down by feelings that, in his opinion, do not belong over good food.
But tonight feels…odd. Misaligned and misplaced. Just wrong.
The hostess never asks if he’d want something. The lights are never this bright and why does it clash with the color of his tie? Why is he even wearing a fucking tie in the first place—
Oh right.
Birthday girl privileges and a request—threat—from Miss Chaeyoung herself to tidy up in formals and dress up at least once.
Regardless, the tie needs to go.
And so he tugs at it until the knot gives away. But as soon as the noose loosens and falls soundlessly in his lap, he feels his throat tightening again with yet another inconvenience.
Why does the music sound different? Quieter, much more mellow and slower than usual. It ruins everything, he thinks, because what if he sighs differently and they catch it? What if there’s some obvious change in tone that someone latches on to? What if he scrapes his knife too harsh against the porcelain when someone says something cruel to get a reaction out of him?
No.
He’s never the one to complain or be grumpy, it is so uncharacteristic for him. But the music needs to be what it usually is…a tad bit louder. Just tonight, especially tonight.
Just as he’s about to lift his head to inspect what’s up, his line of sight gets blocked by the server who usually takes their table whenever the ice-hockey team of the college or any of its members visit the restaurant.
It is comical how quickly Mingyu is able to slip on his happy-go-lucky, ‘all-is-well in the world with sunshine and rainbows’ mask when Betsy, their server, smiles at him.
“What’s the celebration tonight?” She asks, her wrinkled face deepening with delight when she notices the tailored-suit. “Seems quite fancy.”
“Are you jealous Betsy?” he teases, a small smirk maturing on his face, “don’t worry I’m here for a birthday dinner. Not on some date.”
The older woman feigns surprise like she isn’t used to his effortless charm and flirtatious tendencies by now. She hits him lightly with her notepad. “I am married, young man.”
“And I score on defended nets all the time.” he winks.
“Find yourself a suitable girl and stop wasting your charms on older women.”
“Talking like you are not my only perfect match in this whole wide world.”
Betsy gasps and shakes her head, ignoring his words but the blush creeps up regardless. “Flattery won’t get you free dessert, boy. Now quit playing around and tell me what you would like before your loud pack of hooligans arrive.”
“Just water for now,” Mingyu allows himself to give her his actual, real smile. The kind which lights up his eyes and allows his jaw to relax more.
“I will get you the cucumber one, it is better for you,” Betsy says, stuffing the notepad back into her apron, “in the meantime, enjoy the new addition we have got here.”
With that, she steps away just enough for Mingyu to see the epicenter of his earlier dilemma. The change in music.
“A new, live singer in the house,” Betsy offers. She further says something about the name of the singer, about how she attends the same University as him, about how she’s the niece of the owner.
But it all fades.
She is sitting on a bar-stool in a dark corner, her only companions being the mic-stand tangled up with haphazard wires at the base and an acoustic guitar in her lap. Her eyes are either downturned, or closed—it is hard for him to tell from where he’s sitting. But even from the distance, the view of her—small and contained in that little corner that already feels like it belongs to no one but her—it heals something deep within him. And for a moment, he feels like all is, actually, well.
This soothing, balmy feeling.
Like when he’d used to stare up at the moon that hung low outside his window.
Her skin glows with its own mellow, moonlight too. Or perhaps it’s just the amber from the chandelier that falls with romantic shadows over her. Her hair, long and open in loose waves curtain half of her face away from his gaze. But he can hear, more than he can see, the anxiety undercutting her voice as she sings some old Billy-Joel song. All her words carefully clipped and never gliding over each other or over the music, as if the quiet control will undo the dread of doing something wrong on her new job.
“Do you like her?” Betsy asks, not out of the blue, but as a follow-up to something she must’ve said earlier.
Mingyu feels the strain behind his eyes when he drags them away from the singer with the dreamy voice and back to Betsy as she stares at him with this unspoken look in her eyes—one that older people give you when they can foresee something that you don’t.
Mingyu tries to play it cool, toying with his cufflinks. “Dreaming about setting me up with her or what? At least introduce me to her first.”
“Don’t even think about it, player, at least not while she’s at work.” Betsy warns, “I’m just taking feedback—do you like her?”
“She’s good,” Mingyu tries to physically shrug off the urge to look in that certain corner again, “a little nervous, I think.”
“Uh huh, well she is quite young.”
“When did she start?”
“Last month?” Betsy pauses to think, “yeah, last month. Said she needed some extra cash but had no experience in hospitality. Her aunt suggested we put a nice little set-up in the corner without the windows for her.”
A month.
Mingyu hadn’t been anywhere since before that. In fact, this might be his first night out and about ever since the party where it all went down. Because since then, he had been cooped up in his apartment, just sketching and writing his feelings away and surviving on half-eaten bowls of ramen that he’d forget about before reheating it again for dinner.
If Mingyu seems uncharacteristic tonight, it’s not a switch flipped. But a culmination of everything that had beaten it into his head that whatever he knew about love and affection had been just wrong. Impure. Insincere. Even when he didn’t mean for it to be.
And without love, what else is there for him to even define his character upon?
Betsy disappears just in time for Chaeyoung and Seungcheol to arrive with Dokyeom, Misty and the freshman named Chan who has been following Seungcheol around like a lost puppy.
Chaeyoung squeals before she hugs him. “Oh my God, Gyu!”
His palm flattens over her bare back—almost. He blames it on muscle memory before correcting himself by letting his fingers awkwardly rest over her lower back.
“Happy birthday, Chae.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” sincerity brims her eyes when she takes a moment to look at him, really look at him.
Everyone else settles behind them, pretending they are not all thinking the same things or feeling the same tensed air weighing down upon them.
She squeezes his hands as Mingyu nods once, his smile tight when he settles in the corner seat next to his ice-hockey team’s captain, Choi Seungcheol. The guy gives him a tight nod—formal and clean.
The entire table of his friends falls back into that practiced chatter. Jokes from Dokyeom as he surveys the menu, hushed whispers between Seungcheol and Chaeyoung as they decide upon what dish they would like to share, Chan and Misty complaining about their own schedules.
And he can hear it all because the music is too soft.
Mingyu keeps on shifting in his seat, pretending to read the menu and failing at it…almost as if his own body doesn’t understand how to function at this moment. He is grateful for it when Dokyeom—ever observant and quick to read the room—orders the exact same thing for him.
Wonwoo and Jihyo join them a bit late with a present wrapped in silver, blaming the delay on traffic.
Mingyu doesn’t miss it though, the look that the two share when their watchful gazes shift from the interlinked fingers of Chaeyoung and Seungcheol on the table to Mingyu who looks like he is trying to swallow something down but failing gloriously at it.
He looks away before he can detect pity in their eyes.
Leaning his head back, he thinks it is going to be a miracle if something can keep him afloat in the tsunami that is this night.
He finds that anchor in the voice that melts into the music of an acoustic guitar like liquid gold.
⸻
“Oh, I love her voice,” Chaeyoung mumbles mid-bite when Betsy asks her the same question about the singer. “Very fresh.”
Misty, who surprisingly hasn’t said anything peculiar throughout the night so far, no longer seems to be in the mood to hold back anymore as she watches Mingyu carefully chew down on the last bits on his plate.
“Hey, Mingyu!” she calls for his attention, breaking some trance that the boy has slipped into. “Why don’t you go down there and ask her to play Chaeyoung’s favourite song, huh?”
Dokyeom interrupts, quickly dabbing his mouth, “I don't know if that is allowed…is it Betsy?”
“Oh I’m sure Veronica would let it slide,” Misty says, referencing the manager of the property, “it’s a beloved patron’s birthday after all. So, Mingyu, would you?”
There it is. The test. The show. The jibe.
The thing he had been dreading all evening. Like something he hasn’t prepared for, but something he must excel at to prove he isn’t all that vain.
Chaeyoung cuts in smoothly, trying to defuse the smoke before it overtakes all the airy lightness of the night. “It’s very unnecessary, really. We are not kids anymore…” But after taking a quick sip of the water, Mingyu is already getting up from his seat. Chaeyoung probably doesn’t think it through when she grabs his hand, “Mingyu really. Don’t.”
Misty files the seemingly small but weighted interaction, reveling in how Seungcheol’s eyes oscillate between the two.
“Come on Chae,” she pushes, “she sings so sweet and besides, Mingyu is good with people.”
Good with people.
Good with feelings.
The irony behind the words isn’t lost on Mingyu and the fact that they’re coming from his friend only makes him laugh. Just a small huff of air—something that he cannot hold back in unlike everything else he did all night.
It is a humiliation ritual almost—because the song that is Chaeyoung’s favorite might just be the one that fits his situation perfectly.
Something stupid by Frank Sinatra. Of course Misty would ask Mingyu to get it played. And if he says no, everyone would conclude what they have already been suspecting to be true—that he is still affected by it all. The rejection. The humiliation. The stupid confession.
It leaves him with no choice but to oblige.
Chaeyoung had long slipped her fingers off his wrist, yet he gently explains. “It’s your birthday…no big deal. I’ll go ask her.”
“Try not to get her number plastered all over your chest in red lipstick!” someone calls out from behind. Mingyu only shakes his head, playing along. That’s all he has learnt to be good at.
CHAPTER 2: stand still like a hummingbird
“Hey—” Kim Mingyu says, standing barely a foot away from you.
To say that it startles you would be an understatement when you almost slip off the stool. But your fingers instinctively curl around the mic, stationing your balance under the pretense of checking if it is off.
“Oh, hi!” you squeak, a bit embarrassed.
In your defence, being on a chair with no back support for three whole hours, trying to sing every word with perfection so that your being off-tune doesn’t ruin anyone’s dinner, all while carefully balancing your guitar over your thighs wasn’t the most comfortable position to be in.
Especially not when someone whom you have avoided eye-contact with all night decides to knock all the air out of your system by hogging the space around you.
For a moment, after you regain your composure, none of you speaks. He just stares at you like his vision has been blurry the entire night and you are the first thing he can focus upon. That he can anchor upon. You visibly see his uneven breaths slowing down when you tuck your hair behind your ear, blinking at him confused.
“Can I help you?’
“Uh…I’m sorry if this is too demanding but it’s my friend’s birthday today,” he points back to the table and you assume the girl in the middle, who is currently busy talking to someone, is the one he’s talking about. “Can you maybe please sing something stupid by Frank Sinatra for her?”
You almost turn him away by telling him you aren’t allowed to take requests from customers. That your aunt is very serious about you sticking strictly to the neat, organized playlist she carefully curates for every day of the week depending on the weather, the ambience, even factoring in the special menu items of the night to generate the ultimate dining experience at her diner.
But he looks so…heartbreakingly small.
You purse your lips together in contemplation and your eyes almost fall off his face as you gear up to mumble a careful rejection. But he interrupts you.
“Please.” he says, so low and heavy that it falls on your lap like a plea you have no words to use to reject.
Your fingers press over the guitar, surprised and confused. You look around—for Veronica, for a senior staff, for answers. But some of his friends are already getting up from their seats to see what’s taking so long. He nervously glances back at them, giving them an easy smile though nothing about him when he turns back to you seems easy.
“Alright,” you nod. “Yeah, I can sing that.”
His shoulders slump and he stands there for a moment like he needs to make himself breathe. Then, he nods at you with a small, tight smile before joining his friends and says something to them with the effortless cool he always sports—on and off the rink.
You, like most people on campus, had never seen his armor creak. Mingyu has always been too easy to like, too tall to be ignored, too charming to not smile at and too easy to not talk to.
But tonight, right in front of you, you could swear you had seen him nearly crumble. Like everything you had known about him until now was a lie, a heavy mask that was making it hard for him to breathe.
And you have never been the one to not care. Even if it meant nothing in return for you.
So you strum the guitar and sing the song he had asked…no—begged you to sing. It is such a slow song. Simple lyrics. Easy cords. But it can be sung in so many voices and ways.
You can make it melancholic and draw attention to his drooping lips as he sways in a corner with his friend—not the birthday girl though, because she is dancing with somebody else, your college’s ice hockey team’s current captain Choi Seungcheol.
Or, you can make it more romantic for every couple who have joined the young crowd to dance along to your song.
But then you remember the tender bruises denting his voice when he had spoken. And the decision finishes forming itself in your throat before you can rationalize it.
The song belongs to him.
So you soften your voice and purposefully emphasize on the lighter lyrics while breezing past the wistful ones. You ensure to smile through it all, because one of the first lessons you had learnt in music was that listeners can hear the smile or the frown in your voice when you sing. And it has the tendency to rub off.
You utter a small prayer under every word you sing with your most honest smiles, hoping that they land on and soothe whatever scars the dancing people in this dimly lit diner carry on their souls.
⸻
Your head is swimming by the time you return back home. Not with exhaustion or delirium, but with the surrealist nature of everything that unfolded.
Your ears still rang with the cheers that had followed after the song ended with everyone raising their champagne flutes to thank you. Some were wiping their eyes, while the others leaned more into their partners. The hundred dollar bill that Mingyu had quietly slipped into the tip-jar meant for you that still weighs down in your purse.
When you come down for dinner, you wrap your hands around your stomach like you can somehow hold it all in and preserve it under your skin forever to return back to it whenever you feel too small or too lonely. Hold it from bubbling over and spilling at a home where there are rules associated with how his name must be spoken.
Rule number one: well, it shouldn’t be.
Because once uttered, Kim Mingyu’s name is enough to sour the moods of everyone in the family for days if not weeks.
You don’t get it though.
Sure, your twin brother and him might have had the fiercest of rivalries when it came to being drafted for your college's ice-hockey team throughout their junior and senior years in highschool. But it has also been almost two whole years since Coach Greer offered the opportunity to Mingyu and your brother had to go with his second choice at NYU.
In theory, he should be over it by now.
But he evidently isn’t, as can be seen at the monthly dinners for which he joins you and your parents, always grumbling about how it seems like he is the only one with a hockey-IQ on his team.
“It’s like I am carrying that team throughout the season, and I am only a Sophomore.” he pierces the vegetables on his plate with more force than necessary, causing you to flinch.
Your dad’s eyes dart between the two of you. Even though you are twins, you and Ethan couldn’t be more distinct from each other.
There is almost an inverted mirror between you both, reversing every image that reflects on it.
You clear your throat, trying to deviate the topic of conversation before it crooks into something else. “Well, I don’t know if you know Ethan, but I got a job at Aunt Sylvie’s diner.”
“What do you need a job for?” he frowns. “Isn’t your course already too demanding?”
“It is, which is why I want to save up to move into the dorms by next term…or maybe by Junior year at least. The workload would be harder then and I think living on campus would be better than commuting everyday—”
“On campus?” he scoffs, “you sure about that?”
You blink at your parents, confused, because you already had this conversation with them so you really don’t understand where this doubt is emerging from.
“Yeah,” you say, “why?”
Ethan leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and dragging the air from around you and towards himself like he has always done.
“I don’t know…the stories that come out of your campus are pretty wild. It seems like you guys are more famous for your parties more than anything.”
You don’t think much before you scoff.
“You’re just jealous.”
The impact of your words is so loud, it’s deafening. You only meant it as a light banter, but you know just how Ethan—and even your parents—are going to perceive it.
You study at a University Ethan had made vision-boards about.
You attend classes that he only got to tour when he was sure Coach Greer would pick him.
You walk the same hallways as the guy who took that chance away from him. In fact, you even sang upon his request tonight.
You cannot begin to bring yourself to look up and tally the damage that your careless remarks have caused. Slowly, you put your fork down.
“I…uh, I’m done,” you announce, voice small, “besides, I promised Cass I’d meet her today.”
You grab your jacket and zip it in a blur, mumbling a quick promise to your mom that you’d come and help her clean up before bed. Once outside, you drag your palms down your face and groan hard.
You barely make it to Cassidy’s front-poarch before you hear your brother’s truck roar in the driveway and see him leave—even though he had plans to stay the weekend.
CHAPTER 3: promises, unkept
A year later.
Here’s the thing about being exceptionally silent—everyone glosses over your existence.
Yours is a tiny dorm room that has just enough space for a bunk bed, a shared closet and two tables. And yet, with her entire life upturned onto her bed and the floor, your roommate moves around like she has a personal agenda to bump into everything that makes a sound.
You have been lying on the top bunk, wide awake and occasionally flinching since six in the morning each time she drops her metallic flask.
Now you do not like checking your phone first thing in the morning, but you have been scrolling endlessly because there’s nothing else you can do. With Chaeyoung’s open suitcase and bags littered all over a floor which seems like it was hit by her wardrobe-blizzard, there simply isn’t enough ground for you to step on.
You muffle a groan in your folded forearm when your bladder cramps yet again.
This is getting ridiculous, and no amount of distractions can make you look away from the fact that you need to use the restroom in the next five minutes or less.
You accidentally hit play on a random video of Olivia Rodrigo on twitter, attracting your roommate’s attention. You hear her drop the notepad she had been reviewing her to-pack list from before you feel her take a step on the ladder that connects her bed with yours.
“Hey,” her face pops up by your pillow and you instinctively scoot backward, “you’re awake!”
“Uh, yeah…” you rub the heel of your palm over your eyes, trying not to make it seem like her commotion disturbed you out of your sleep even though it absolutely did.
“Oh how long?” her face scrunches up with concern, “shit, did I wake you up?”
“No, no,” you insist, getting up and fixing your sleepgown even though Chaeyoung doesn’t really seem to mind. “Just need to use the restroom.”
“Fuck, sure.” she clamors around to make way.
You keep on smoothing over your nightgown as you climb down, making a mental note of buying some bunk bed friendly PJs. Grabbing your essentials, you pad down the hallway towards the bathroom and to your surprise, Chaeyoung follows you, mumbling endlessly about how totally overwhelmed and unprepared she is for this trip.
“And I told Cheol that I can absolutely not shut my internet off for two whole months but he insists that it’s gonna be rewarding.”
You adore your roommate, there is no reason for you to not do so. She has been nothing but welcoming and friendly since you moved in a few weeks ago. But you have also only known her for so long to express any personal opinions about her relationship with the college’s former ice-hockey captain and now Boston Bruins’ defenseman Choi Seungcheol.
“Are you going to be completely offline?” you ask a diplomatic question instead as she leans outside.
“Not totally…I mean I still need to take the classes I enrolled online for. But I guess that’s it because apart from that, he has told me he has planned a lot for the two of us.”
“Sounds nice.”
“It’s sweet, yeah. But also—he’s the celebrity, not me. Why am I hiding away in a cabin for eight weeks? All I wanted was to take some time off this semester, not go on a whole ass retreat.”
You wash your hands and splay some water over your face, trying to jolt your brain awake to come up with an appropriate response, and preferably a conclusion, to this conversation.
From what you have observed so far, Chaeyoung is one of those people for whom a ten minute walk to the class ends up taking twenty because of the amount of times she has to stop and say hi to a billion people she knows. Every night when you return from your shift at the diner, there is always a friend or two occupying your room as she brews tea or just gets ready with them for a night-out. And when it is just the two of you and you have succumbed yourself to your own corner, unable to entertain her anymore, she’s on her phone talking to her family or Seungcheol.
It is hard for you to imagine Chaeyoung cut-off from the world in a luxurious but distant wooden cabin somewhere up North.
But it isn’t so hard for you to imagine the relief of having the entire dorm room to yourself for such a significant chunk of time… besides, you do not want to be the reason behind a romantic getaway as this one falling apart.
“I think it’ll be something new, fun, exciting,” you say, avoiding her eyes in the mirror as you melt your moisturizer between your fingers, “just the two of you, it could be quite romantic.”
Behind you, Chaeyoung leans her head against the doorframe of the bathroom, a little pout puckering her lips. “Ugh, I know. I could use some time away from all the chatter. Like I don’t wanna sound ungrateful but it can be quite loud sometime, you know? Everyone is always telling things to me or asking me stuff and it can get very overwhelming very quickly.”
Your roommate goes on yet another one of her fifty mile long rants about a topic that irks her while you hurry to finish up your morning skincare.
“Which reminds me,” her voice booms another note all of a sudden—in volume and in speed—making you jolt. “Please tell me you have Heather’s phone number.”
It takes you some time to rack your brain and match a face to the name she’s referring to.
“Heather…as in, the girl on the third floor?”
“Yes, her!”
“I don’t.”
“Ugh, yeah…why would you have her number? You barely know her.” Chaeyoung zips her last bag shut, lugging it over her shoulder, “I guess I’ll have to leave a task unfinished. I don’t even know what room she’s in.”
“If you have a message, I can pass it on.” you offer.
Chaeyoung presses her knee over her mattress, gnawing at her lower lip and considering. It is so easy to read her, you think, as her forehead creases up with dilemma and she chews on her own skin harder. Then, she drops her shoulders like the weight of whatever it is isn’t worth carrying around like this.
“Fine…but promise you won’t laugh.” she says.
You help her with her luggage as she pockets her set of keys and begins walking out. “I promise, I won’t.”
“Okay so I have a friend, you might know him,” she looks over her shoulder as you follow her down the stairs, “Kim Mingyu.”
You stall halfway down a step, but the weight of the luggage in your hand swings your body forward regardless and you nearly topple down.
“Woah woah woah,” Chaeyoung rushes to stabilise you, “are you okay?”
“Yeah I just…slipped.” you do your best to hide your frozen face behind your hair. “I’m fine.”
“Please don’t be another girl who falls for him — literally and figuratively.” Chaeyoung blinks, but takes one of the bags from your reluctant clutch. “Anyways, I was saying, Mingyu — he was just made captain of our ice-hockey team.” she says like she’s trying to polish your memory until some recognition of him sparks.
As if you can ever not know him. His existence has followed you around, completely unbeknownst to him, for five whole years now.
And truth be told, you are tired.
While leaving your home, you had thought you won’t have to hear that name again. Not because you hate him—that is a right only your twin brother can exercise—but because you have reached your limit.
Despite your strongest desires against it, Mingyu is practically inescapable on campus. He’s the guy people ask about at parties — ‘is Mingyu gonna show up?’ or the one whose name girls use the brightest, boldest red glitter for in their banners which they bring to the home games in support of the team. His is the name that pops up so many times on your campus’ confession page, it is actually concerning that so many people fantasize about him all at once.
Chaeyoung trails off, “it is insane how much clout each year’s hockey captain gets though. Like… What do you mean the guy who took ketchup shots with me is now some sort of campus deity?”
“What about him?” you press your lips, dragging the suitcase outside.
“Okay so ever since he was made captain, his workload significantly increased and I guess he is struggling with a few classes this semester. It’s not like he needs a formal tutor—he is freakishly smart. But just someone to help him out with the material when he can’t make it to classes. And with how busy this season is, he’s gonna miss a lot.”
You nod, wrapping your arms around your middle and trying your best not to look absolutely disinterested at the mention of a boy who follows you around like a shadow, even in rooms he doesn’t belong in. Instead, you fix your eyes on the road, cursing Seungcheol internally for not being here already.
“He asked me for help with finding someone who can assist him like that. And Heather once told me she has the biggest crush on him…they share most classes you know? So I thought why not play Cupid and have her ‘tutor’ him?”
A chilly gust of morning wind sends your hair flying all over your face. You attempt to tug it back behind your ear and fail.
“But wouldn’t it…I mean, doesn’t he need serious help?”
Chaeyoung shrugs, “a glorified study-partner whom he pays.”
“And do you think Heather would be the best for that given…y’know?” you can’t help but counter.
“What?”
You purse your lips hard, digging the balls of your feet on the ground like it would rescue you from this tumultuous mess you have hurled yourself into simply because you care too much.
“I don’t know Chae…from what I’m understanding, I think he needs some sure help and—”
“Someone consistent,” Chaeyoung finishes for you. She breathes thoughtfully, “huh, I guess I never thought about it that way.”
You nod. A small, careful movement. “Just a suggestion.”
Chaeyoung exhales, long and dramatic, as if clearing her head. “Ugh, whatever. He’s gonna figure it out himself. But if you do see Heather, give her his number, just in case.” She taps quickly on her phone, “I just shared it with you.”
Seungcheol’s truck revs in the driveway, getting visibly closer as you stand there stunned. Your phone blinks as it receives her text.
Chaeyoung jogs over to the grinning guy who stepped out of the driver’s seat with his arms spread wide for her.
You almost can’t believe what just happened.
But he’s her friend, a part of her life whom she has autonomy over. And you’re nothing more than a messenger to be feeling this much about it.
“I’ll pass it on to her.” you mumble when Chaeyoung hugs you goodbye and reminds you about Heather. “I will.”
CHAPTER 4: miscalculations and misrepresentations
The first week after Chaeyoung leaves passes like smoke from between your fingers. Your days are like a bunch of sugar-cubes, clumped and melting into each other as you attended all your classes, finished your shifts at Aunt Sylvie’s diner, studied for the LSAT and applied for other jobs in your free time because the singing gig had begun costing you.
The paycheck was good. But the management—too demanding. Even after you had told her that too much singing could damage your vocal chords for the long term from all the overuse, Veronica would insist you show up for almost all the major nights.
And with nowhere else to turn to for your monthly income and with an aversion of upsetting your aunt, you’d almost always relent.
But with your evening teas becoming more of a crutch for your sore throat than a relaxing ritual, you knew things had to change before you lost whatever remained of your already small voice.
It is one of those nights as you rot over your mattress—tired down to the bone, nursing a warm cup of tea and reviewing the mock questions you practiced after another long day at the diner.
The room, with you just in it, feels sterile. Like Chaeyoung took all the character away with her when she left.
It is dimly lit, not in the comforting way that lulls one to sleep, but rather dull. The kind which makes you aware of how even your fairy-lights blink like it is taking an effort for them to glow.
Meanwhile all of Chaeyoung’s expensive, quirky lamps lay cold and turned off by her bed.
No one has been into your room since she left.
You tell yourself that you like it this way, that it’s better to focus. You’ve never had too many friends anyways—it was always just you and your quiet ambitions and dreams that sound awfully silly when spoken out loud. And you have been fine like that so far.
But something about living on campus, in the dorms that are buzzing with girls getting ready with each other to spend this Friday night out and about, makes your solitude seem depressing.
A small thought keeps poking its head in your mind… you wouldn’t mind if there was at least one other person here right now. Someone whom you wouldn’t have to invite. Someone who could talk your share of talk because you’re too tired to speak.
A friend.
A companion.
You sip harder on the tea and tell yourself the bitterness at the back of your throat is the aftertaste of hibiscus and not your own self-pity. Squinting your eyes harder on the papers, you try to figure out just where you went wrong with eigenvalues.
So far, nothing turns up.
And just when you are about to give up and call it a night, a knock at the door rattles the entire still air of your room with an unwelcomed pulse.
You’re barely halfway down your bed before whoever is on the other side knocks again—urgent and hard.
You shouldn’t—because this is your room—but you rush towards the door at the commanding, insistent knocks.
“Chaeyoung I swear to God if I fail—”
He is about to knock again when you open the door, evident from his fist raised halfway up. He instantly drops it when his eyes fall on you.
“Oh hey—I’m sorry,” Mingyu quickly takes a step back, then checks the room number plastered on your door before looking at you again. “I…uh, I didn’t mean to—is this not Chaeyoung’s room?” his frown grows the more he stares at you, but not with accusation, more like you’re a puzzle that is occupying his entire mental-capacity right now.
Something about the intensity of his gaze, the sheer heat of it as he studies you, thaws you out of your frozen, aghast state.
“It is,” you mumble, “she’s not here though. I am her roommate—”
“The girl who sang the song.” he replies under his breath, his eyes softening as the recognition settles in.
You blink, confused. “I’m sorry?”
“Uh, like more than a year ago… at Lorenzo’s? I requested you to sing a song and you did…” he trails off.
Your fingers over the door tighten inadvertently. You hadn’t expected him to remember that. Chaeyoung didn’t. It was just a night out of many.
Why would he?
Except that he did. And now, he stands there in front of you with a small, honest smile on his lips. This subtle look of victory almost.
“Yeah,” you pause before quickly covering it up with a lie, “I mean, I don’t remember what you’re referring to but I do sing there sometimes. So I guess I must have.”
Something further softens in him as he leans down to hear you over the noise emanating from the room opposite to yours. His shoulders drop and graze the door as he relaxes by it, already covering most of it with his broad frame.
You clear your throat, trying to speak louder than usual. “Chaeyoung isn’t here though, can I help you?”
“Do you know when she will be back?”
“Uh, like two months?” you answer. When you see his frown deepening, you realize he isn’t aware of your roommate’s little retreat. “She is on vacation with her boyfriend.”
Mingyu’s eyes drop from you to the floor—so does his smile. But only momentarily. You don’t think Mingyu is the type of person who’s never not smiling, even if he has to fake it.
He scratches the back of his head. “She didn’t tell me, I think.” but then, he hastily adds, “or if she did…guess I forgot.”
You nod. That’s all you can do because this unplanned encounter with him is like being dragged out of your sleep and right onto the middle of a brightly lit stage. Something that people like Mingyu, Chaeyoung and even your brother Ethan have always been naturals at. But not you. You always freeze, you always forget your lines. You don’t know how to perform.
Like he’s offering you a cue, Mingyu drives the conversation forward. “Sorry for disturbing your night,” he says, “but Chaeyoung told me she was going to help me find a tutor. She said she had someone—”
Your eyes widen when the memory hits you.
“Oh yes! She told me about that.” you blurt out and instantly regret it.
You were only supposed to pass his number on to Heather, not confess to him about knowing about Chaeyoung’s masterplan on hooking them up. A plan you are not too sure he’s in on or not.
“She did?” He pockets his hands further into his jeans, leaning his head to a side more coolly now. Not curious, just aware of something more… “Interesting.”
You walk back into your room, “I was about to—”
“I’m sorry but do you mind speaking up? I can barely hear you…”
“Oh just come in.”
You squeeze your eyes shut the moment you yell that. Messy, messy, messy. What the hell are you doing inviting him in your room alone?
You’re fiddling with the scattered notes all over your table and mattress to look for your phone when you feel him enter the room and push the door just enough to leave it slightly ajar.
“You know, I am just realizing I never saw you sing at the diner again.” he remarks.
‘It’s because I never took the shifts on the nights after your games because I knew you’d be there to celebrate.’
Instead, you reply, “I have sporadic shifts. No specific schedule.”
Behind you, Mingyu nods like he is a bit unconvinced but is kind enough to let you have it.
“You’ve been roommates with Chaeyoung since…?”
“Last month,” you answer before you finally locate your phone.
You scroll through it in vain, praying that Heather’s number would somehow miraculously appear somewhere—in some group-chat or otherwise.
Mingyu just takes a seat on Chaeyoung’s desk-chair, his long fingers fiddling with the paperweight on the table. The more he eases up, the more the room collapses around him, warping until it shrinks significantly. He looks cartoonishly big compared to all the dainty decor that there is, but nothing about the scene looks out of place. He is more like a giant teddy placed down between your little stuffed animals. It is almost as if there has never been a place he has not belonged in, made a home in.
Unable to not speak for long, Mingyu hums again. “Chaeyoung and I haven’t been able to talk much, I guess that’s why I missed out on such major life updates from her. I mean the vacation and you.”
“Me?” you pause.
“Yeah, you.” he smiles, bright and polite, like he has to make you feel included even though you didn’t ask for it. “The last time I talked to her, it was only about my tutoring situation. Told her I was ready to pay double what the TAs earn hourly. She said she had a friend in mind.”
You had tuned him out since the phrase ‘pay double what the TAs earn.’ Your heart picks up pulse as the gears behind your mind start churning with a newfound velocity. Suddenly, you feel like you can solve all the eigenvalues and as an extension, all your problems, if you just tweaked a few things just right.
“Why don’t you ask the TAs for help?” you ask, your voice breathy and shallow.
“I did, our schedules just never aligned. I captain the Ice-hockey team and the TAs only have so many spots and open slots.”
“What subjects do you need help with?”
“Eh…I can do most theory and research on my own. Just have to read up during my free time. It’s the Mathematics and Stats that are bothering me. Not that I’m bad at them, I just don’t get the time to follow through what’s happening in the coursework.”
“Yeah Chaeyoung mentioned that.”
“So you’re her?” Mingyu grins, “the ‘friend’ Chae was talking about?”
“Wha–I…” you shut your phone off, then turn it on before shutting it off again. You toss it somewhere on Chaeyoung’s mattress, marinating in your own blunder. “I mean she spoke about your situation, yes. But—”
Mingyu’s attention drifts towards the reference book lying unopened on your table. “Hey, that’s the exact material Professor Blyth has recommended. You’re taking the same Calculus?”
“I am.”
He’s already flipping through your neat notes. The clean sheet of paper carrying the perfect score to your pre-mid terms from a few days back catches his attention.
“I totally tanked it. But you have…a near full grade.” his thumb brushes over the unmistakable 98 marked in red on top of the sheet.
Guilt begins clawing up your gut the more he stares at your answers and practice sheets with awe.
This isn’t your glory to revel in.
This isn’t how it is supposed to be.
This isn’t what Chaeyoung had planned for it to be.
This is going to ruin your plans of steering clear of Kim Mingyu…for Ethan’s sake. Why the hell would you ever even agree to help the guy who ruined the perfect trajectory of your brother’s professional hockey dreams.
Well, he didn’t do it directly…or deliberately.
But still.
“I won’t take a no for an answer,” Mingyu shakes his head, placing the papers back on your table, “you have to tutor me. You have to help me.”
“Mingyu I—”
“Please.”
There it is.
That word.
Spoken with the same cadence that he had carried over a year ago. Tender, polite…begging. It is as if he has mastered speaking a language that doesn’t contain anything equivalent to rejection. At least not in your books. And no matter how hard you try to contain it, freeze it, something in the very centre of your chest aches as it melts at the warmth of his voice.
“It will be a huge favor,” he stands up from the chair, all serious yet still gentle somehow like he’s trying to persuade you, not convince you. “I will do anything in return. Your laundry, your dishes, I can even clean your room every weekend or be your date for all important appearances this term. I can make your exes jealous, heck I can even beat one up. Well, not if it’s a girl but you get the drill?”
You stare at him with your eyes wide and jaw slacked. “I think…I think just money would be good for now.”
The angel on your right shoulder that is in charge of keeping your conscience intact is practically drilling holes into your skull when you reach for a printed copy of your schedule and hand it over to him.
“This is my schedule.” you murmur, not daring to meet his eyes, “I work most evenings from Tuesdays to Saturdays. But I guess I can cut a few shifts off at the diner if I’m going to be tutoring you now. Just tell me whatever works for you.”
Mingyu doesn’t mind your sudden aloofness or even if he does, he doesn’t comment on why you are trying to practically become one with the wall as you shrivel further and further. He just grins like you have handed him over the keys to the Universe.
Before he leaves, he takes his phone out and asks you to give him your number.
You don’t miss it though, how he repeats your name under his breath when you put it in there or how he stares at your face like he’s trying to match you to it. Like he’s trying to understand why you were named what you were named. All while that same, sweet smile blooms further and further over his lips.
The sheet of paper, the same one where you were struggling with the eigenvalues problem on, slips and lands at his feet.
He picks it up, briefs it over before handing it over to you and points out what you were doing wrong.
Relief washes over you and you scratch your head. “Ah…I wasn’t even considering that.”
“See,” he winks, “we’re already one very strong team.”
CHAPTER 5: i swear i don't murder puppies
Your room is a warzone of sweaters and dresses at seven in the morning. Not because you somehow left your window open and a storm wrecked through your wardrobe, but because it is the day you meet Mingyu to decide upon a schedule that is in alignment with his practices.
The September weather is always so confusing—all your sweaters feel too warm and your summer dresses flutter way more for your comfort with the rain-soaked wind. You cannot bring yourself to put on a plain old hoodie because it is only Monday, and all your giant sweatshirts and grays are preserved for anything post-Wednesdays.
You wring your hands before pressing them to your face.
“You’re just trying to distract yourself from your real problems by making up these stupid ones,” you whisper to yourself.
It is the truth.
You should have never agreed to this.
You should have never given him the impression that you were the girl whom Chaeyoung was talking about.
You should have gone out of your way to look for Heather and tell her what happened instead of waiting to run into her.
You suppress another groan before your little guilts whirlwind into self-hatred. It's for the money, you tell yourself. And money often transforms people into someone unrecognizable.
You choose a mid-length dress that Cass made for you. No flashy colors, modest neckline but sweet strappy sleeves. It is formal without being strict.
The bag of make-up sits untouched on your dresser. You tell yourself everyday that you will find time to put it on, look more presentable. But each day, it’s just your sunscreen, lip-gloss and kohl-liner against the world.
As you massage the vanilla-scented lotion over your collarbones, you weigh upon the pros and cons of this situation.
This tutoring gig is too lucrative for you to pass on. Not only it pays more than your singing job, but it would also mean that you won’t have to walk all the way out of campus, put heavy layers of pigment and glitter on your face, smile and sing until everything aches and come back half a corpse even during your busiest weeks.
Not to mention, helping him review whatever happens in class would also make you revise simultaneously.
You lift the mascara closer to your face and lean into the mirror. And perhaps, it is something about the out reflection of your somber eyes in the dulled out mirror that makes you see the risks clearer than ever.
Not only are you taking it away from someone else, but by agreeing to help him out with something—anything—you are in a way betraying your brother.
You do not harbour the same animosity in your heart towards Mingyu like Ethan does. But you had also planned on steering very clear out of his enemy's way the day you received your acceptance letter to the college and Ethan didn't.
Besides, what the hell will you tell her when Chaeyoung returns with that expectant gleam in her eyes and asks you if you forwarded her message?
You lose count of the amount of times you almost stab yourself in the eye with the wand. Eventually, you give up on it and just sit there on the floor with your knees curled up.
By the time you are up and ready to face the day—and him—you have what seems like a fool-proof plan up your sleeve. You mentally rehearse it while applying the last coat of your gloss.
You are going to head out, be stoic and get the job done with him hopefully before Chaeyoung returns.
Hell, you can even push harder and cut on more shifts to help him be ahead of the schedule in class so that you can get rid of him faster.
You’re not going to strike a friendship with him—you are not even going to talk about anything beyond just what’s necessary. No mentions of a vengeful sibling, no mentions of the wicked game of ice-hockey.
Whenever you run into Heather, you’re going to make amends by dutifully passing Chae’s message to her and giving her his number. Hell, you might even make him warm up to the idea of her if that’s what it takes to have them go out together per Chaeyoung’s wishes.
You will have this all wrapped tight and dusted in under seven weeks if you just manage to do what you’ve promised yourself to do.
Exhaling deeper than usual, you take one last look at the mirror.
You push down the thought that there is certainly an additional gilded glow illuminating your features today.
You tell yourself it’s just the morning sun.
⸻
(mingyu’s POV)
He sees you before you see him, and something within him hollows out.
You are fiddling with your thumbs, letting your eyes lightly sweep across the space before promptly giving up and succumbing to your phone—most probably texting him.
He quickly collects the orders from the counter and walks over to you.
“There you go,” he says, extending the warm tea towards you, “I just took a wild guess that you’d prefer tea over coffee cause that’s what I saw in your room.”
You look startled. Or maybe that’s just how you usually are. So calm and ethereal in your own world before he comes and disrupts it with his loud demands and ramblings.
Yet, you accept it from his hand with a polite ‘thank you’.
Small wins.
He cocks his head towards the empty table in the café. “Shall we?”
You walk ahead of him, something that he actually appreciates because it gives him the time—however small of a window—to stare at you longer. Your hair fall over your smooth shoulders like curtains and your dress sways with the light breeze.
You look so soft, you always do. He has to clutch his bag and his espresso harder than usual to avoid reaching forward and detangling your tresses that are catching up with the dainty chain of your locket behind your neck.
But then, you put an end to it when you finally settle down into the booth and pull your laptop out along with a few loose sheets, some already printed or scribbled upon while the others are a blank canvas.
“Did you fill out your schedule in the Excel file I shared?” you ask in that low, gentle voice of yours.
He loves hearing you speak because your tone is so serene and tender that it requires him to put all his attention to it. Sometimes, he even has to physically lower himself, or lean closer, to hear you better.
And Mingyu always thinks that there is something irresistible about people who require the world to bend and adapt to them.
“Well?” you ask again, quirking your eyebrows up.
“Wh—ah, yes, I filled it out.”
“Already losing out on attention?” you mutter, before throwing a pointed glance at him, “we can’t afford that.”
He laughs to himself. “Didn’t peg you as someone who’d be so strict.”
“You’ve seen my schedule. We’re already operating on a tight timeline.”
“Fair,” he replies, “although, I would promise you that I am a quick learner.”
“Don’t promise me, surprise me.”
“You know what? I actually quite like it,” he leans back into his chair, emptying a whole packet of sugar into the steaming coffee, “this whole strict teacher bit. It’s…compelling.”
You shoot him a deadpan look and continue typing.
You quickly breeze through all the hours of the week that you’d be able to meet with him and prepare a list of priority topics that he missed out on or needs to cover before the mid-terms. Mingyu meets you halfway through it all, giving his inputs wherever necessary and letting you know what all he could work upon alone.
It doesn’t slide by him about how different you seem today compared to the previous times he has spoken to you. You are more guarded in the moment, like you took time to stitch an armour around yourself in the morning before coming to meet him.
But it often slips—that usual softness that he has begun associating with you. Like the time you accepted his request to sing or when you invited him into your room, unguarded and trusting. It’s there when he sheepishly apologizes for adding to your burden and you assure him it’s alright. It’s there when he goes blank about most topics you initiate and you quickly pivot to something he might know.
You keep on covering up that softness each time he diverts from business though. Like throwing a wet-blanket over a warm hearth.
This additional layer of caution. Another boundary etched.
When Chaeyoung had told him she had someone in mind who might be interested in helping him out, she had completely omitted the information that that someone was her new roommate who also happened to be the girl whom he sometimes still thought about. Someone whose voice still hummed in the back of his mind.
Perhaps, if Chaeyoung hadn’t been too excited about telling him that the girl had a huge crush on him, she would have remembered to share that vital piece of information.
But watching how you’ve been acting around him today, it seems like his friend probably exaggerated your fascination towards him. Why else would you be shooting down his attempts at being anything beyond just a chore if you did in fact like him like that?
It’s not like it hurts his pride though, he had never really weighed down on the possibility of any romances with his tutor. All he desperately needed was for someone to help him and if a little charm and flirtation was gonna help him get there, then what was the harm?
It is a relief that you don’t seem like you are interested anymore though—or at least that’s what he tells himself.
Because telling himself that makes it hurt a bit less when he asks you if you’d like to stay back and chat over coffee after you’re done and you deny it without a second thought.
Telling himself that makes it feel less cruel when he offers to walk you to your class and you look at him like he has just admitted to killing a million puppies.
He doesn’t know what prompted it, but since the last time he saw you, it seems like you have made some judgments of your own.
And he’s not too sure if he likes the idea of it.
CHAPTER 6: truce? truce.
No matter how hard he runs across the campus from the ice-rink to the library, Mingyu is still ten minutes late to your study session.
You are already in one of the study-rooms surrounded by two distinct sets of stapled papers and a workbook that you’re scribbling hurriedly upon with a short, dull pencil. His heavy, fatigued footsteps against the otherwise polished tiles startle you out of whatever it is that is making you frown and look up at him.
At once, his breathing significantly slows down. Like his body is trying its best to behave and be proper under the captivity of those big, soft, doe-like eyes of yours.
“So sorry, Coach Greer had us run extra drills,” he pants, “and I couldn’t exactly show up here without washing up.”
Despite all the exhaustion, he still flashes you that full grin that can make even a shrivelled flower blush and bloom as he drops his bag over the small table separating two chairs in the small room.
He thinks you have ignored him when you return back to flipping through your book.
But then, you slide your bottle of water towards him.
“You should take five.” you suggest. “Catch your breath.”
And then, you go back to acting like you were before he showed up.
Still, he thinks it is very sweet as he uncaps the bottle and takes a swig out of it. Not because he is particularly thirsty—but because you offered.
His breath evens out as he studies the focus-pod. It is literally a box with a single small window and a giant glass door. Two squeaky chairs placed thoughtlessly with a table that looks like it would collapse from the weight of his arms alone if he leans over it. Sunlight filters in hot, rectangular slants, warming the scratched surface and making it a tad too warm for comfort.
No one ever studies here. Not really. Unless they have an important meeting to attend or a call to take.
“Why are we meeting here instead of the actual library, again?” he can’t help but ask.
You look up from your work to briefly glance at him before returning back to it. “Because you talk too much.”
“Right, but doesn’t the library have a much better ambience?”
“Not worth getting rebuked by people studying there because you won’t stop speaking.”
“I’m going to speak here regardless.”
“You can,” you answer, finally shutting your workbook, “because I’m getting paid to hear you speak. The others are not.”
“You majoring in business?”
You correct him, “Economics.”
“You should switch to majoring in business though.”
“Are you calling me greedy and unkind?”
“No, I am saying you would make a terrifying CEO. You are very practical and efficient.”
You sigh, keeping your face uninterested as you speak, “as fun as this was, let us return to ANOVA, shall we?”
Mingyu folds his hands over the table, resting his chin over his crossed fingers. “I was hoping to stall further.”
Your knuckles tighten over the stack of books and for a moment, Mingyu thinks he toed a line he shouldn’t have dared crossing. But then, your eyes soften—just by a beat—and you suggest. “We can call a truce whenever you feel like it’s getting too much…y’know? You can just say the word and we’ll take a break.”
“Wait, really?” he perks up, just enough for his eyes to flash with something refreshing. Like hope.
You shrug, “I don’t want to force you into doing something that you are too tired to.”
“So like,” he nearly giggles—and it is fucking ridiculous watching a man as tall and buff as him giggle like that—before even finishing the joke, “a safeword?”
Your face goes back to that blankness that feels like a curtain of indifference being drawn.
“For studying,” you respond flatly, “don’t make it weird.”
But the corners of your mouth give it away by curling up. Barely. Just a flicker that you quickly hide by looking in your bag for nothing. It is gone before he can be sure if it was even there.
But he grins anyway because he decides that it was.
“Right,” he nods like he’s signing a contract. “A truce.”
“A truce.” you shrug, like it doesn’t matter.
⸻
You both work in relative silence after that.
Mingyu tries his best to focus each time you lean over to explain something to him. But he just can’t. He fidgets too much, stretches his arms too often, cranks his neck side to side even though there is no stiffness.
He isn’t his usual self and he can feel it.
And something about you tells him that neither are you.
You see, he might not have known you that well. But he for sure had observed you. And each time he said something stupid or attempted anything beyond just discussing the numerical problems on paper, it felt like you were restraining yourself. A smile, a retort, an answer. It wasn’t a mask, but a heavy door that you kept on shutting up with all your body-weight.
“Hey, did I do something?”
He finally asks towards the end of the session when you have already briefed him over the concepts and given him a worksheet to practice upon until your later session.
You blink, “No…why?”
He doesn’t want to tense this up…doesn’t want to end a productive session on a needlessly confusing note just because of the faulty projections of his mind.
So he lets out a little laugh, trying to lighten the weight of it when his observation lands, “I don’t know, you seemed a bit annoyed.”
He expects you to snap back at him, tell him that you are not some doll who’d always smile at him or shut him off by telling him that it’s because he is in fact—annoying.
But your shoulders drop, “oh?” you tuck your hair behind your ear, “I…I am not annoyed at you Mingyu.”
It is the first time you have spoken his name to him. And he can’t understand why it feels like the first time anyone has ever spoken it right.
“Just a bit tired.” you further explain, avoiding his eyes as you begin fiddling with something inside your bag.
He doesn’t prod further. Just lets the sound of your breathing thread through the tight-packed walls of the sterile room.
But then, very cautiously, he adds, “You know you can always tell me to shut it if I’m speaking too much. I am a talker, but I get it.”
“I don’t mind you talking,” you interrupt him so quickly that he frowns. You bite your lip, “sorry if I made you feel that way. I guess I was just bickering earlier.”
“No, no, really. I didn’t think much about it, just giving you a heads up that I can be quiet if you want me to be. We don’t have to continue meeting in these coffin cubes just because I can’t shut up.”
You nod, just a small movement. He feels at ease when he spots a small smile over your lips. Hidden and fluttering like a newly hatched butterfly. This strange sensation of pride surges behind his ribs—something on you that he can finally claim some possession at most and contribution at least, after all.
Mingyu doesn’t know where this urge comes from—this almost need to give you something, anything, worthwhile in return. If he tallies all the hours he has known you, it might not even add up to a full day. Yet he feels like he already owes you half his lifetime for some reason. A debt of eons.
You pile up on that debt when you slide a neat stack towards him. It feels warm in his hands.
“I printed out a copy of my notes if you want to refer to them.” you inform as he looks through them with this undisclosed wonder.
Around eighty sheets of material. You even printed out the pages with additional workings that explain the main solution better, along with the alternatives. The margins that people often hide because of the simplistic explanations that are meant for their eyes alone and no one else’s.
But you copied it all out for him.
“This is…wow,” he slowly gets up after you, “I really have no idea how to thank you enough for this.”
“Literally the least I could do.” you shrug. “I will meet you Friday?”
“Yeah,” he repeats, his voice unstable, “Friday.”
You don’t give him a departing smile or a ‘take care’ before turning around. But you do halt at the door, lingering for a suspended moment.
“Just for the record…I like it when you talk. Because I don’t speak much myself, but I also hate silence.”
⸻
Ever since the beginning of senior year, Dokyeom hasn't hosted much.
It wasn’t because he didn’t want to. But because of the giant golden retriever living in his drawing room who, through the virtue of his squatter's rights, had turned into a roommate he didn’t sign up to have.
Ever since a gnarly water-leak at his apartment some two months ago, Mingyu had practically moved in with him, taking refuge on Dokyeom’s worn-out couch. His place was all fixed now. Yet, whenever Dokyeom as much as even hinted at the prospect of him moving back, Mingyu reacted like he had lost all sensations in his ears.
Tonight though, Dokyeom had invited a couple friends over and asked Mingyu to help him organize.
“I really can’t believe you pay full rent for your own place and still break your back on this couch.” Jihyo, who had arrived a bit earlier than the rest, fluffs an additional pillow on Mingyu’s makeshift bed, “seriously dude, are you even getting the rest you need?”
Mingyu jokes, “I sneak in and sleep on DK’s bed when he’s not home.”
“I swear to God Mingyu, don’t even joke about it.” Dokyeom deadpans as he sets the dinner table. “You know I have that mild OCD shit or something.”
“Move out bro, it’s getting embarrassing.”
Pausing from the salad he is assembling, Mingyu tosses two olives at both of them, “seriously? Can I not just live with my best-friend in the whole wide world for a few weeks? We’re all gonna graduate in under a year and I am already missing you.”
“Or,” Jihyo chimes, swinging her legs off the couch, “you were looking for excuses to move out of your apartment ever since the rejection-gate and now that you’ve found it, you’re using DK’s space like a crutch.”
Mingyu’s fingers tighten over the cherry tomatoes he’s splitting in the middle.
“It’s not like that.” he shrugs, despite it.
“Except for the fact that it is.”
He lets out a light, airy laugh. Just a puff of it to make it seem like he can glide through this conversation like he does with all the other ones. But for some reason, today, he cannot.
“It’s fucking lonely in that apartment." he finally admits.
He turns his back to his friends, checking up on the cherry pie. In the reflection of the shiny surface, just momentarily, he catches his friends exchanging a look behind him. He opens the oven before he can discern if it’s worry or mockery.
The ceramic dish lands harsher than he intended on the counter top. He slides his mitten off like he needs his palms to feel air before they sweat so much that his skin melts off.
He rests his fists over the marble, leaning all his weight over them as his eyes clench shut. He instantly regrets that little comment, feeling a sense of dread rising like bile up his throat as he hears them shuffle behind him.
Here come the pitiful looks and careful words.
He doesn’t need them—he hasn’t needed them for so long.
“I will move out,” Mingyu announces just before Dokyeom can offer him another futile assurance. “I just need a little more time, I guess.”
Dokyeom doesn’t argue that. He can see just how a few weeks away from his apartment has helped bring the Mingyu he knew back into the body which had been rotting away in that place. Dokyeom had seen how Mingyu had cooped himself up in his place. Depressed and dull. Curtains always shut off. His art-studio collecting dust.
He barely ever cooked anymore.
So when he had told Dokyeom about the pipe that burst in his apartment, it was a no-brainer for him to let Mingyu in.
And by the looks of it now — and despite all the inconveniences — Dokyeom thinks that he wouldn’t hesitate to do it all over again.
“You can be here for as long as you want, bud.” He slaps him over his back. “That’s what friends are for.”
Jihyo adds, “Yeah I guess I was just being a jerk…I think you needed this change. It suits you.”
Mingyu nods at them, the way one does when they’re overwhelmed to a point that even words fail them.
He goes back to arranging the forks by the spoons on the table when Dokyeom clears his throat, leaning against the counter and announces to Jihyo, “It’s not just the change of place that’s suiting him though.”
Jihyo reflects his playfulness, “Ahan? What do you mean?”
“A little birdie told me our puppy has made a new lady friend.” Dokyeom answers, his voice sporting that dramatic lilt that makes Mingyu roll his eyes. “Chan saw him smiling like an idiot with a girl in the library the other day.”
Mingyu protests, “she’s just helping me study—”
“No, wait.” Dokyeom interrupts, “my apologies, because Chan said he saw you smiling like an idiot at a girl in the library. She wasn’t even looking at you.”
“I spy a little crush situation,” Jihyo squeals, hopping up on the marble counter between Mingyu and Dokyeom, “come on, spill. Who, when, why, where?”
“There is no crush situation,” Mingyu scoffs, “besides, I think I learnt my lesson about not crushing on my friends.”
“She’s not your friend.” Dokyeom corrects, “like I said, she doesn’t even look at you.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I have my ways.”
Jihyo throws two napkins at the both of them, “Dokyeom, shut up. Mingyu, man up. Who is this new friend of yours? Tell me all about her.”
“There is nothing to tell. Dokyeom’s right, we aren’t even friends. She’s just someone…well, she’s Chaeyoung’s roommate, and we share similar classes so she’s helping me out with whatever I miss out on.”
“Chae’s roommate?” Jihyo’s eyebrows arch, “well, that’s a new angle.”
“It’s nothing serious. Really. I was talking to Chae the other day and I mentioned needing help with a few classes. She thought her roommate had a little crush on me and decided to set us up, I guess. I think she misread it though because the girl is farthest from interested in me. But it works.” he shrugs, like this entire rant and all the specific details he gave out mean nothing.
“‘Just a great tutor,’” Dokyeom mocks, imitating Mingyu’s very hurried and very raspy tone, “then why the hell were you smiling to yourself while reading her notes like they were love letters at three in the morning?”
“I was not.”
“You so were.”
“I was admiring her penmanship.”
Jihyo completely glosses over their back-and-forth and turns to fully face Mingyu with the same grin she has whenever she’s watching her favorite rom-coms. “What if Chae is right and the girl is indeed into you? What if she’s just playing hard to catch?”
Mingyu leans down until he’s eye-level with Jihyo’s moony ones. “Or what if, we all stop being so obsessed with this cause I don’t wanna creep her out.”
Jihyo’s smile drops. Stoically, she asks. “Do you like her?”
“Not like that…”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s pretty…and seems like a good person. But that’s it. I barely know her.”
“Then make an effort and get to know her!”
“You guys don’t get it…” Mingyu finally says, “she is very distant and guarded and I don’t know what Chae has told her about me. I mean, for all I know—”
“Don’t even finish that thought.” Jihyo interrupts, “you and I both know Chaeyoung would never do that.”
Mingyu sighs, placing his hands over his waist and letting his head drop with defeat. When he finally has the energy to look at his friends again, all the lightheartedness has evaporated out of the room.
“Let’s just drop it. I can’t even enter my apartment on my own for fuck’s sake.”
// lemme know if u wanna be tagged pookies <3
reblogs, asks and comments are not only appreciated but fucking threatened on here dont make me block u if i catch u just liking my fics smh!!!!
happy early birthday to my man ugh i love him saurrrr much
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