tldr: you can hear it in the silence
a/n: listen to taylor swift's "you are in love" if you want the full effect of this one
one look, dark room
meant just for you
you’d been at this party far too long. the fabric of your dress was starting to itch and the heels you were wearing were making your feet scream. it was time to go home. the only problem? this was seungcheol’s birthday party. he expected everyone to stay until well past midnight to help him welcome in his new year. it was just past one and you wanted to leave. being here all night after working all day was not something you wanted to do. you knew convincing wonwoo wouldn’t be hard. he was never one to want to stay out late, always preferring to be home anyway.
you placed your half-full drink onto the counter of the kitchen island and stretched your neck, craning it from side to side looking for your date. just as you were about to give up and ask someone, you felt eyes on you and turned.
there, from across the room was wonwoo. eyes locked onto yours, a single brow raised in a question.
a little nod of your head was all he needed. the conversation he was having with soonyoung was immediately forgotten. you watched as he excused himself and headed straight for you.
holding a hand out, he reached for you, understanding without words exactly what you needed.
“let’s go home, peach.”
you know he’d been keeping an eye on you the whole night, despite not being right next to each other through the whole night, gauging your energy levels as the party progressed from opposite sides of sungcheol’s apartment. and right now, he could tell you were completely worn out, ready to be home, together and in the quiet; the opposite of what this party was providing.
he was sympathetic to you, knowing you’d had a full day and still put on a brave face for him and his members. he knew you would’ve preferred to stay home tonight but he also knew you knew how important seughceol’s birthday ws to him and you love his brothers like your own so you wouldn’t have missed it for the world. he loves you all the more for it.
he gently tugs your hand, “come on, the car is waiting for us.”
the smile you gave him was dazzling, albeit a little tired, “thank you, woo.”
“anything for you, peach.”
you keep his shirt,
he keeps his word
he left on tour 6 days ago and its been agony for you. it’s not like you weren;t used to time apart, but every time he goes, it feels like part of you goes with him. an important, bright part, something essential to your being.
you wandered around your shared apartment like a ghost, meandering from room to room, searching for that part of you that he took with him. the only thing keeping you grounded was the scent of him, still lingering on the clothes you’re wearing, his clothes. his shirt hangs off your body, shoulders stretched wide from his broad frame.
you’re pulled from your daze when your phone starts buzzing incessantly on the coffee table in the living room. you chose to ignore it, not wanting to talk to anyone right now. it feels like relief when the buzzing finally stops. but it shortly starts again, persistent and intense. you glace at the screen and there is his name. his call at this moment feels like kismet, like he could sense your anguish from across the world.
you answer, “woo?”
he breathes out your name like a prayer, “peach.”
that’s all it takes, and suddenly you’re a puddle, tears streaming down your face, the longing too much for you to bear.
“oh, peach. don’t cry for me. i’ll be home to you soon.” he says it so surely, like he would move heaven and earth to get home to you, and you know he would if it came down to it.
“i just…” you sigh, “i miss you.”
you can hear the emotion in his voice, “i miss you, too. that’s why i called. i’m in this hotel room all the way across the ocean, and all i can think about is home. all i can think about is you.”
and suddenly you’re crying again, “don’t say stuff like that. i’m too emotional for it.”
he laughs despite himself, feeling the exact same, “i know, peach. i’m emotional too.”
the first week apart was always the roughest, learning to be normal without each other to ground yourselves. it’s hard every single time he goes away and you wonder if it will ever get easier.
“i’ll come home to you soon,” he says softly. “i promise.”
that missing piece in you still feels immense, but hearing his words and knowing he’ll keep that promise to you makes it easier.
and he keeps the picture of you in his office downtown
he felt your gentle tap on his shoulder and pulled his headphones off, letting them rest around his neck. he paused his game, and turned his chair to look at you, “yes, peach?”
“i’m sorry to interrupt but i need your license. i’m trying to arrange the rental car for our trip and they need the license number for the driver, and that would be you. so… license? can i have it?” you smiled and held an expectant hand out in front of you, palm up.
he put his hand on yours, intertwining your fingers and bringing the back of your hand to his mouth. he pressed a kiss there and murmured slowly, voice deep, “yes, peach, you can have it.”
you blushed, looking down at him with a soft smile, “where is it, woo?”
another kiss pressed to the back of your hand, another murmur, “in my wallet.”
the blush deepened, “and where is your wallet? hmm?”
a final kiss, “the nightstand.”
this time you brought your connected hands to your lips, pressing a kiss of your own to his skin, “thank you, woo.” you dropped his hand, and left, on a mission to finish all the paperwork for your upcoming vacation.
his wallet was right where he said it would be, on his nightstand. the brown leather soft from constant use. immediately upon opening it up, you found what you were looking for. you pulled the card out, giggling at wonwoo’s goofy ID photo, so serious and stern. glancing back at the empty ID slot, something caught your eye. well, someone. there was a photo of you looking back at you now.
you had never seen this photo before; it was slightly out of focus, your back to the camera but your head was turned, a big smile across your face, eyes focused on something beyond the lens. he must have taken this photo on one of your night walks.
the tradition began when you started dating. the usual hustle and bustle of seoul was somewhat dampened at night, the whole city slightly muffled by the cover of night. you and wonwoo had quickly discovered long walks around quiet neighborhoods were a really good way to get to know someone. the long meandering conversations you shared built a sturdy foundation for what was to become your relationship together. although he was a man of few words, wonwoo found little trouble divulging his secrets to you on those evenings.
now that you lived together, the walks are less frequent, but not gone completely. whenever one of you needed to vent, or just feel close to the other, you’d ask to go on a walk, letting your inhibitions down under the cover of night.
“what’s taking you so long?”
you jumped, not having heard wonwoo come up right behind you. now that you were aware he was there, you could feel his breath on the back of your neck.
“i found this photo,” you explained, still feeling a little frazzled. you turned and held the wallet out to him, showing him the small picture of you.
you watched a smile slowly stretch across his face, “it’s pretty, isn’t it?”
you still felt a little dazed, “i didn’t know you kept a photo of me in your wallet.”
“where else would i keep it?” he asked, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
wanting more answers, you pressed, “when did you even take this?”
he rolled his eyes playfully, putting his hands on your waist and pulling you close, “forever ago, peach. i don’t even remember putting it in there, that’s how long i’ve had it. pretty sure i’ve shown it to all the members too. i can’t believe you didn’t know it was in here.”
it was your turn to roll your eyes, “you never told me.”
“well, you never asked.”
suddenly your eyes felt misty, you are so touched by this simple act of love he’d decided to show you. but that was how wonwoo loved: quiet and constant, unwavering.
tldr: little ways he shows he loves you
a/n: i am...back? i've got some stuff cooking...
seungcheol: inherits your beef
he’s ride-or-die for you. if someone wrongs you, they wrong him too. it doesn’t matter how big or small the grudge is, he’s siding with you, ten toes down. you’re his baby, nothing beats that. he’s standing by your side, no matter what.
jeonghan: never yells at you
he just can’t. he’s not really a yeller to begin with; he’s generally a soft-spoken guy and even more so around you. he speaks to you in dulcet tones, even when he’s pissed. he treats you with care and respect. he’d never raise his voice at you, not in a million years.
joshua: he’s on the outside
when you’re walking in the street, he’s 100% walking closest to the street. he wants you on the inside so he can protect you from stray puddle splashes or rogue bicyclists. he wants you safe. he even sits on the outside edge of the booth at every restaurant on every date.
jun: cuts your meat for you
you are perfectly capable of cutting your own steak, but you haven’t in the years since dating jun. it started one afternoon when you’d just gotten your nails done and didn't want to mess them up. after that, the habit stuck and you haven’t had to lift a knife in years.
soonyoung: hypes you up
got a new outfit? he’s telling you how good you look. turning in a project or assignment? he’s telling you how capable you are. he loves giving you praise, letting you know how proud he is of you. he’s your biggest cheerleader.
wonwoo: keeps a photo of you in his wallet
he’s a classically romantic kind of guy. he keeps his favorite photo of you tucked into the back of his wallet, hidden where only he can see it. when you two are apart, it really grounds him to see your face. he takes so many photos and loves this one the most. it’s slightly out of focus because he took it when he was laughing, and your matching smile is reflected back in the photo.
jihoon: holds your bags
those big muscles are not just for show, he puts them to use for you. and its not just your purse. he’ll hold your backpack, your shopping bags, and the groceries (all at one time if need be). if you drive, he’ll also hold your purse for you in the passenger seat of the car so it doesn’t get dirty on the floor.
seokmin: always laughs at your jokes
like, genuine laughs from his belly at every single joke you make. he thinks you are the funniest person he’s ever met. you two have matching senses of humor and you just love to laugh together. if his members think he’s loud by himself, he's twice as loud when you’re around.
mingyu: packs your lunch
he’s in the kitchen every night packing you something to take to work the next day. he cares about you. he wants you to eat well and live forever with him. so he’s packing you nutritious meals and little sweet treats to make your day bright. he also sneaks in little post-it notes of love confessions that make you blush in the office.
minghao: never says no to you
you are his most treasured thing, someone he holds near and dear to his heart. he finds it impossible to say no to you when you ask him for something or to do something for you, and you know this, but you know better than to abuse this power, most of the time…
seungkwan: always says yes to a sweet treat
and he’ll pay for it too. he knows if he says he doesn’t want one, you’ll change your mind so he always says yes. he loves seeing how excited you get for an ice cream at the convenience store around the corner or a chocolate bar from a vending machine in the hybe cafeteria. he’ll never deny your sweet tooth.
hansol: adds your song recommendations to his playlist
he takes his playlists very seriously, and he takes your opinions very seriously so when you recommend songs to bim, he trusts you. immediately adding them to his playlist so he can listen to them when you’re apart and think of you.
chan: keeps a list of everything you like on his phone
the list is long and divided into categories. He has food preferences from your coffee order all the way down to the hotpot sauce you always make. he has your menstrual product preference: type, brand, and size. he knows your allergies, your shoe size, and even the brand of cat food you buy. he wants to be prepared for anything you might ask of him.
its really stressing me out cuz i graduated and now im a doctor
( im the one who needs a doctor)
any advice cuz im so fcking scared ?
btw love your writing so much hope you come back to writing 🤍🙏🏻
congratulations!!!
i have no advice, my life is running on vibes alone. i’m tying to prioritize myself now that school is over and get back into the things i like doing (like writing).
yes! i’m working on a couple things rn. fun fact about me, i just finished my masters degree so i have a bunch more free time now that im not in school. :)
tldr: all the way jihoon uses your nickname
a/n: can anyone guess where the nickname 'bee' comes from?
chastises: when you goof off in the gym
“bee, don’t fuck around in here.” he’s stern when he speaks to you, interrupting your goofing off. you couldn’t help it. this happens every time you come to the gym with him. you always got bored about 15 minutes into his workout. and his workouts can stretch on and on.
“don’t act innocent.” your eyes go wide, surprised at his tone, even when you’ve come to expect it. the only reason you still come to the gym with him is because you like to see his muscles all sweaty. you couldn't care less about the expensive equipment around you. you only care about the grumpy man looking at you with his arms crossed.
“i don’t know why you bother coming with me.” he’s walking closer to you, crossing the humid space to crowd you against the mirrored wall. once he’s reached you, he comes in really close, and you can smell the minty toothpaste on his breath. your eyes slip closed, anticipating what’s to come, only to jump when his voice rings out, harsh against your ear, “give me a mile on the treadmill, bee.”
giggles: even though the kitchen is now a mess
“bee!” he’s bent over laughing at the surprised look on your face. the kimchi you’d been fermenting in the fridge just exploded all over the counter whe you opened it and he bore witness to the whole thing, even the way it splattered all over you, wrecking the skincare you’d just finished after your shower.
“i can’t believe that just happened,” he’s breathless, still laughing at the way your mouth dropped to a perfect ‘o’ shape as the kimchi juices ricocheted across the small kitchen in your apartment. his laughing only redoubled as he caught sight of the pout on your lips, now that you’d overcome the shock.
“i’m sorry, that was crazy.” he only conceded when he noticed how deep the frown was on your face. he knew you’d been excited to make your own kimchi and it had gone completely wrong. he did feel badly about that, but he also couldn’t wait to tell his members about this. he would tell them later, but now he smiled gently at you, “come on, let’s get this mess cleaned up, bee.”
mumbles: when he’s nervous
“bee,” you barely hear it, but after years of being in these dressing rooms, you don’t miss it. the dressing room is a blur of motion. opening night of his and soonyoung’s WARNING tour had arrived after months of preparation and hard work. and it was all culminating in about an hour when they took the stage. you could already hear the crowd filtering into the venue.
“come here, please,” he reaches for you, and immediately, you’re by his side. you pretend not to notice the shakiness in his hands as you hold them. you pretend not to notice the waver in his voice when he speaks to you. you know by now that calling attention to his nerves only makes them worse. it surprised you the first time you came backstage with him, how nervous he gets before a show, but now this is routine, silently sitting together, breathing in sync and calm.
“thank you for being here.” his lips barely move, and he doesn't turn to you when he speaks, but you know he’s sincere. he always says thank you, like you’d be anywhere else right now. like you didn't feel incredibly lucky to be his grounding, his rock. but you don’t reply, jut lean your head on his shoulder and smile when he presses a soft, quick kiss to your head. “love you, bee.”
grunts: when he grabs your stuff
“bee-” he’s huffing, but those big muscles are not just for show; he puts them to use for you. you’d spread your stuff out all over the studio, and now it was time to go home. you usually travel a little lighter, but you knew you’d be spending the entire day there with him and needed things to entertain yourself while he worked, so you had filled your backpack full of your various hobbies.
“what’s in here?” he slung your brightly colored backpack over his shoulder, looking a little lopsided despite his own black backpack on the other shoulder. you just smiled at him, glad that you didn’t have to schlep that huge bag, and give him a little peck on the cheek, thanking him for carrying your things. he doesn’t need thanks, though; he’s happy to do this for you.
“don’t forget your keys.” he points to them on the table in front of you, knowing your mind was already elsewhere, probably thinking about the dinner you were going to order as soon as you got home. he watched you grab your keys and turn towards the doorthen taps your shoulder and puckered his lips, “don’t forget this, either, bee.”
monotones: and it scares everyone
“bee.” this is how he answers your call and everyone in the universe factory goes quiet, trying to appear like they aren't listening when they absolutely are. he bobs his head from side to side and fiddles with the mouse on his desk, fidgeting while he listens to you with a serious expression. the studio feels tense.
“yeah, do whatever you want.” his voice holds no malice but the other guys in the room still exchange nervous glances with each other, unable to read his mood. only when he hangs up after a brief goodbye does he notice the shift in the room. he looks around, wondering if he missed something while on the phone.
“why is it weird in here?” when no one answers him, he shrugs, turning back to his monitor and the song, half-done, in front of him. a few tense minutes pass, no one sure if they should bring up his curt conversation with you when suddenly there's a knock on the door. the mechanical whirl of the lock is heard, and then there you are, food in hand. he turns, smiles wide, and everyone lets out a sigh of relief when he says, “hey, bee.”
saw someone say they feel bad and awkward ‘contributing nothing’ to fandom (“no fics, no drawings, no theories, just gluttony”) and to anyone who feels inferiority about this i gotta say us creators, doing things for free, love nothing more than your unbridled spiralling greed in our notifications aka genuinely be more unapologetically gluttonous 24/7 there is nothing wrong with enjoying something insatiably because us writers and artists feel empty and despairing without a passionate audience and feral surroundings so please and thank you and we love you
tldr: kinks i think each of the members have (MINORS DNI)
a/n: do not read too much into this, i was just having fun...(i want them so bad)
seungcheol: dominance
this man is a DOM. he requires submission from his partners. he likes to be in charge of basically every aspect of the relationship. he’s planning dates, he’s paying, he’s driving, and he’s commanding you around the bedroom at the end of the night. he’s just a control freak, okay?
jeonghan: crying
he just likes seeing you cry, okay? seeing your eyes all misty and hazy with pleasure makes him feel so powerful. he might not be the most active in bed, he gets tired easily, okay? but sometimes he takes it so far that you’re sobbing around him, which pushes him to take it further.
joshua: bondage
doesn’t matter if he’s tied up or you are, but he loves to break out the rope and play. when he’s tied up he likes the vulnerability of it. he loves handing control over to you and letting his mind turn to mush. the same goes for when you’re the one bound. he loves that you have that much trust in him.
junhui: impact play
has MANY toys to hit you with (lovingly). floggers, whips, riding crops, paddles, he has it all. he also likes receiving these hits. his favorite thing is seeing the marks on yours and his skin lingering for days after your intimate moments together, especially when you’re apart. gives him something to remember you by when he’s away.
soonyoung: dirty talk
his yapping knows no bounds. he says the craziest shit when you two are together. just the filthiest crap coming ou of his mouth. he doesn’t even realize he’s saying it. when you’re basking in the afterglow, you’ll ask him if he actually meant what he said in the throes of passion and he truly cannot remember what you’re even talking about.
wonwoo: begging
he wouldn’t be caught dead begging but you on the other hand? it drives him crazy listening to your desperation. hearing your rushed words pleading for him makes him feel dizzy with need. the power he has over you mades his head spin.
jihoon: public sex, more like, studio sex
he’s not like, fucking you in a park. however he is fucking you in his studio with all the lights off but with the blinds open. he’s fairly certain no one can see in, since you’ve never been caught before, but something about the thrill of potentially being caught thrills him. and having you in the most intimate way in his favorite place? nothing beats it.
seokmin: praise
giving and receiving, of course. he loves to tell you how good you are for him. how good you feel, how much he loves and appreciates you. but something about those words coming from you? knowing he’s making you feel that good? god, he loves it. call him ‘good boy’ and watch him come completely undone.
mingyu: being told what to do
i know a lot of people think this man is a dom, and he might be, but i think he’s more of a service top. he wants to please you in any way imaginable. boss him around a little bit and he’ll bend to your every whim. he puts your pleasure before his own so just tell him what you want and he’ll obey.
minghao: lingirie
he likes pretty things. seeing you in pretty things does something to him. he likes shopping for lingerie and likes seeing you in it. plot twist: he also likes wearing lingerie. he wants to feel pretty for you. so he’ll slip into something lacy before your most intimate moments, knowing it’ll turn you (and him) into a mess.
seungkwan: phone sex
he’s gone a lot okay? so he’s gotten really good at having long-distance sex. whether it be text, a voice call, or a video, he can get you off anywhere. mostly enjoys having you all to himself on the phone in his hotel room but will indulge your needs if it’s dire by texting you the nastiest things from the make-up chair with the brightness on his phone turned all the way down.
vernon: orgasm control
he’s a little evil, actually. he likes seeing you all strung out, whether it be because you’re completely overstimulated or begging to finally get the release he’s been edging you with. he has a lot of control in the bedroom, prolonging his own release until he has you right where he wants you.
chan: spit
he loves how powerful it makes him feel. looking down at you with your mouth hanging open, waiting for his spit on your tongue. watching you swallow so submissively makes him feral. he knows you feel the same way. propped up in his lap, looking at his blown-out eyes while he waits for you to spit on him makes you both go crazy.
tldr: you don't like him, but maybe in the new year you will?
a/n: happy new year! this blog is now officially two, and that makes me emo, so enjoy some mingyu fluff. :p
the rain had come out of nowhere and you’d forgotten your umbrella at home. normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but you’d decided to walk to seungcheol’s new year’s party because his building was less than half a mile from yours. but what suddenly felt like a doable walk turned into your worst nightmare.
you picked up the pace, basically breaking into a run, and thanked yourself from thirty minutes ago that you’d decided to dress a little more casually for this party, opting for sneakers that were now incredibly useful.
when you finally reached the door to seungcheol’s building you looked like a drowned rat. your once perfectly styled hair looked stringy now that it was all wet, and your top had been soaked through.
“whoa! did you get caught in the rain?” seungcheol looked you up and down sympathetically when he opened his door.
you were freezing and not in the mood for stupid questions, “obviously. now please give me dry clothes.”
mingyu just happened to walk by at that moment, trying to act casual like he hadn’t been watching the door for you all night. one look at your shivering form and he jumped into action, “you must be freezing!” he pulled his hoodie off, holding it out to you, “take this. cheol can put your top in his dryer, and you can wear this for now.”
if you hadn’t been half frozen, you probably would’ve blushed. “thank you, mingyu. that’s very kind.”
it was his turn to blush, “no problem, angel.” he watched as you walked off to find a place to change.
he was trying so hard to be casual, not scare you off. he had liked you from the moment he met you at seungcheol’s birthday party in this very same apartment four months ago. you were a coworker of seungcheol’s, and he thought you’d been so cute at that party, all nervous and shy.
you’d run into each other plenty of times since then, and every time he tries to get to know you better, you seem to shut down. he’s not sure what he did to offend you, but he wants to make it right.
finally alone in the bathroom your thoughts were running wild. you tried so hard not to like mingyu. from the moment you met him, big smile and bigger heart, you knew you were a goner. you fought like hell against your own feelings. keeping him at arm's length for months. you didn’t want to get to know him, knowing you’d only end up liking him more than you already did.
he was kind, gentle, and literally gave you the shirt off his back. you were scared and didn’t want to get hurt if things didn't work out with him so it was better to just not try at all. it was better to not think about the way your heart fluttered at his little nickname for you. or his sweet smile and big brown eyes.
“oh!” you bumped right into his chest while walking out of the bathroom, startling both of you.
he spoke first, “sorry! i wasn’t being creepy, i was just coming to tell you that your top is in the dryer, should be done in about 45 minutes.” he was blushing again.
you smiled up at him, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, “thank you, mingyu.”
45 minutes had long passed, but you were still in mingyu’s clothes. he liked seeing you in his clothes. not that he was looking at you. he was just…aware of you occasionally. he’d catch snippets of your laugh from across the room with soonyoung. he could hear pieces of your argument with seungkwan about what goes in a vodka soda in the kitchen. he was getting sick of being casual and cool. he wanted to talk to you, but didn’t want to sour your mood. he was so taken with you and wanted to know why you couldn’t seem to stand him.
when he noticed you standing alone in the corner of the living room, he decided to make his move.
10…
“hey,” you looked up at him, a little surprised, and he thought your eyes were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.
“hey” you kept your tone flat, trying to remain strong, suddenly keenly aware that you were in his clothes.
9…
“can i ask you something?” he was nervous, but determined.
you gulped, “sure,” you tried to sound disinterested.
8…
here goes nothing, he leaned in closer, “did i do something?”
you looked up at him confused, “what?”
7…
“i mean, you always seem upset when i’m around and if i did something i want to say sorry. i never meant to make you uncomfortable or anything. i actually really like you and want to get to know you better, but i want to apologize first, in case i did something.”
he looked so earnest and the last bit of the ice on the cold shoulder you’d been giving him melted, “you like me?”
6…
his cheeks flushed for a third time, “yeah, a stupid amount. but you hate me so it doesn’t matter.” he sratched the back of his neck nervously, waiting for your reply, feeling awfully stupid until he heard, “i like you too.”
5…
his eyes widened, “you do?” he wasn’t sure he’d heard you right.
you nodded, “i do.”
4…
his heart skipped a beat, and he could feel the goofy smile on his face.
a similar smile spread across your face, your heart beating wildly in your chest.
3…
he reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers together.
it felt like a puzzle piece fitting perfectly into place
2…
he leaned in closer.
you took a step forward.
1…
time seemed to come to a stop and everyone else in the room disappeared as he kissed you for the first time. it was soft and gentle, just like him and held promise of what the new year would bring the two of you.
