That last ask got me thinking about how transmascs in queer spaces have to check so many boxes to be considered "good".
For one, you have to be white and thin, or thin and muscular. You can't be too invested in being a man, if you get excited about things like suits and packers and being "traditionally masculine", you are idealizing toxic masculinity. But you also can't be too feminine, can't enjoy dresses or lots of makeup or have long hair, because then "are you even trying to pass?"
You have to be fine with being called a dirty little rat, you have to be fine with jokes about how men are disgusting and you have to laugh along with "I'm sorry for being attracted to men" jokes. If you get upset, you are being toxically masculine and a misogynist. But if you enjoy the "softboy transmasc" aesthetic, or have a "typical transmasc name", or make soft music, you are too much of a stereotype and are considered way too cringy.
If you don't want top surgery, you have to deal with people questioning and nitpicking your body and how you can be a man and want breasts. If you want bottom surgery, you have to deal with people being absolutely disgusted with your ideal body, warning you about how bad and useless it is.
If you are straight, your attraction to women is belittled and mocked as if you even remotely have the same privileges as a straight cis man. If you are gay, you get called a fujoshi fetishized and pigeonholed into a "feminine submissive bottom twink" stereotype. If you are mspec, you get both.
If at any point you try and speak up, and, God forbid, talk about the issues you face, then you are being toxically masculine and misogynistic and need to shut the fuck up and let everyone else speak.
Like that transandrophobic TikTok about how trans men "don't have to be perfect, but [trans women] do!" is actually very funny because it's so fucking untrue. We literally have to be perfect and quiet and obedient, especially towards cis women, who will abuse and terrorize us and the moment we get angry about it, cry and call us misogynists to cover up their own transphobia. The idea that transmascs are unconditionally accepted by the queer community could not be further from the truth.
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