Incoherent rambling

[chibostarz]

This blog is multifandom btw (as if you couldn’t already tell) because i have a lot of thoughts and i need them OUT

[chibostarz]

Playing Pressure in my Arkham Knight/ Robin avatar and pretending it’s Jason having the same nightmare over and over and over again, running, searching desperately through the halls of Arkham Asylum but there’s never an exit, and horrible laughter echoes through the hallways behind him, drawing ever closer. Sometimes, if he listens hard enough, he can hear Batman a few walls over, tearing the Asylum apart in revenge for a death that never happened. But he won’t be found, because Bruce isn’t looking.

[chibostarz]

Jason Todd as an unfixable character, but not one who can’t be fixed, instead one who refuses to be fixed. He is not the shivering little puppy or the snarling hound, but a dog left at a roadside who has walked back to its owner. Only, the dog who showed up on the porch is not the dog that was left behind, cannot be the dog that was left behind, because becoming that dog again would mean walking all the way back to that roadside, rendering pointless the struggle to get back to that porch. I’ve learned to live with who I am. That cannot all be for nothing.

[chibostarz]

Gillion as an inverted version of the ‘whatever it takes’ trope is so interesting to me because throughout the beginning of the campaign, it’s clear that despite his exile, he’s still loyal to his cause (even though it isn’t truly his cause) and it was clear that he would choose the world above all else, and from that point it seems obvious what the ending to that storyline would be, except it’s not. Gillion’s choice is an expectation/subversion for the other characters, maybe, but as a viewer, we can see that this is a storm that had been brewing for a long time. Gaining size and strength with every kind word, every soft touch and gentle look ever given to Gillion by his friends. In the end, it makes perfect sense what Gillion does, and how little time it takes him to decide. ‘That is the one person who ever made him feel like he could save something, and right now there is only one important thing to save.’

[chibostarz]

All my Ocs meeting up and realising that their best friends are all called the same name

(i love my best friend)

[chibostarz]

Thinking about how similar Peter Parker, Jack Marston (post rdr1) and Ollie jrwi could end up being

But also esp how similar Peter and Jack already are, in the way that they’ve both lost everything. All their families, all their friends are gone or don’t remember them. The biggest difference, I think, is that Peter Parker still has Spider-man. All Jack has is an empty house in a lonely ranch.

Also, I don’t like the headcannon that Jack went and fought in the first world war. His whole life, he’s been hunted and antagonised by the US government, from threatening him as a toddler to straight-up killing his father for doing what they’d asked him to do. There is absolutely no way this kid would ever want to fight for the government.

[chibostarz]

This is probably a very niche comparison but in my mind Chris Pratt’s Starlord is very similar to Chip jrwi

They really grabbed Chip jrwi, shoved him into the body of an astronaut, said ‘second times the charm’ and threw him out into space and it really just did not go any better than the first time

[chibostarz]

I love this scene so much because his face is like halfway between ‘wow i’m so proud of my kid he just made such a mature choice they grow up so fast’ and ‘man, I am so fucked what the hell am I suppose to tell pepper??’

[chibostarz]

I think about this a lot because I’ve seen people argue against it by saying that ‘oh Tony doesn’t hide his PTSD in the Iron Man movies, so why would he be any different in the Avengers movies unless that’s just how he is’ But what I think people sometimes don’t get is that the Iron Man movies are (obviously) shown from Tony’s point of view. We don’t see him hide his PTSD because we just see him. He is the main focus, and so we see the real Tony, Whereas the other movies are shown from an outsider perspective and so we see the Tony that everyone else gets to see, the selfish, egotistical front that he puts on, a habit most likely formed from having his whole life in the public eye, and reinforced by the need to constantly be seen as strong and untouchable, especially after becoming Iron Man and forming the Avengers.

[chibostarz]

“That’s not a hug, I’m just grabbing the door for you.”

i dont believe you Mr. Stark. i think you went for a hug and then chickened out because you’re afraid. of attachment. why would you need lean over Peter to open his door when Happy is literally right there and in the process of getting the stuff out of the car already? i am on to you

[chibostarz]

okay but can we talk about Tony’s face when he finally sees Peter again, the joy and relief and adoration, and the way he gives that little nod when Peter rambles because he’s not really listening, just so happy to hear his voice again. they make me ill

[chibostarz]

Genuinely how I looked at my friend when she chose the first five minutes of Infinity War to proclaim her love for Loki (She’d never seen it before)

[chibostarz]

The reason Mrs Downes shows up so often is because she’s representative of Arthur’s morality, and the decision that killed him (shown by how she struggles to survive after her husband’s death) she’s a constant reminder of everything he’s done, and a terrible warning of his fate. When he gives her money, he’s not trying to make it up to her. He’s trying to make it up to himself, to stop the guilt that writhes in his stomach. He can’t bare to see her anymore because he knows that he can’t ever make up for it. He knows that he will die, and that nothing anyone can do will change it.

She is a direct reflection of his own fathomless shame.

[chibostarz]

i LOVE when my friends ask to draw something in my sketchbook like yes!!! leave your mark here, let me remember your name every time I turn the page

[chibostarz]

One of the reasons I love Tony and Peter’s relationship is because we never outright see it being built, but it’s so clearly there. Like, between Civil War and Spiderman Homecoming and then after, Tony has clearly grown to care for Peter and vice versa. It’s never outright stated either, but it’s shown in little offhand things that people do or say, like. the way Tony has nicknames for Peter. ‘My dad never really gave me a lot of support, and I’m just trying to break the cycle of shame’. the despair in both their faces when the other dies, and the disbelief and adoration in Tony’s when he gets Peter back. Peter helping Tony up on Titan. The softer voice that Tony uses when speaking to Peter. ‘Speaking of loyalty…’ The fact that glancing at a silly old photo of him and Peter was what convinced Tony to literally invent time travel. Nick Fury’s ‘He said you wouldn’t understand that because it’s not a Star Wars reference’ and it’s so aaaargh i love them so much 

[chibostarz]

Also I feel I need to add on to this; Tony not being nearly as aloof or distant from Peter as he was with everybody else when first meeting them. i mean, doesn’t this guy go out of his way to seem like a rich dickhead to everyone he meets, but then when he sees Peter doing a vlog he’s like ‘woah that’s cool I would have done that too’ and defends the idea from Happy. Also, he’s wearing an ugly ass cat shirt in that vlog. I need to point that out i feel like nobody ever talks about it. why do you have that. where did it come from???

[chibostarz]

Chip’s dreams are restless. They were before his untimely death, lingering horrors from the curse. But now, with the rot creeping over every inch of his soul, he is tormented by visions of haunting shapes, distorted voices and blurred out faces. The other Riptide pirates used to have trouble getting him out of bed before noon, but I don’t think he even sleeps for the whole night anymore.

[chibostarz]

Do you think that during those cold, lonely nights on the Black Sea, Chip tried to bury his disgust at his own death by seeking comfort in the fact that his greying skin made him look more like Arlin? Stopped the last moment from cutting the white streak out of his hair, because it felt like cutting off a part of his father? How could he bare to chance changing any part of himself whilst his own memory betrayed him, fading grey and fuzzy?