Chickie Nuggie @chick3n-nugg3t - Tumblr Blog

marketing guy: hmmm yeah we need to make vodka soda branded as “gay water.” make sure the packaging looks like diaper packaging.

other marketing guy: maybe we should add funny little stickers, like–

both at the same time: racism is small dick energy!

captain-price-returns

These are probably the first kids he never shot on sight

molabuddy

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

molabuddy

btw this has graduated into me just saying "the trout population will be affected" and then not elaborating

other-orchid

this post has genuinely helped me so i used it as inspiration for today’s hand lettering practice

oceanglass9000

@troutpopulationindicator

troutpopulationindicator

saying "i'm gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or "the trout population will be affected" instead of "i'm gonna kill myself" will positively affect the trout population.

captain-price-returns

oh no they’re going to start calling democrats the same thing they’ve been calling democrats for 20 years now

captain-price-returns

do you guys think he noticed the guy in the big pink frog costume

tomb-mold

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

ceruleanheaven

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

vitariesocks

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

vitariesocks

2 pics. no caption

android1000

me butt ass naked choosing a song before i step in the shower

grosezero

Holy SHIT do not do this. Do NOT actually listen to music when in the shower. The water and moisture in the air will be electrified by the audio waves and it kills your brain like snake venom

grosezero

Sorry for my image

little-robin-h00d

I love hearing completely wrong information on tumblr dot com.

grosezero

Hey its me. Im under attack by fucking SJW cringelords on tumblr. Take care of this for me.

hsuhaohsuhaohsuhao

I,m on the way

cerastes

I don’t think we ought to normalize or justify bullying as a means to keep people from being annoying — a sentiment that in and of itself could make for a whole article’s worth of conversation — but I do think we should make a habit of politely but directly telling people “hey I didn’t like that”, “that wasn’t funny”, “you are mistaken”, and the like if it’s called for, and more importantly, you should be able to take a “that wasn’t funny” for instance without taking it personally, because protecting a polite harmony where no one can criticize each other, not even politely, is also really, really bad.

hotvampireadjacent

depsidase

jewish-joy

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.