I think about Matti every day

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if i look back, i am lost
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@chickenscratchh
I think about Matti every day
(obscuring username as not to single anybody out + not negative. just in case someones shy) but this is actually what we did with our journals at first too. we used lighthouse for some time, alongside discord/simplyplural. but with simplyplural being left and not wanting to be as on our phone/computer, we switched to paper.
for people with higher system counts, there are actually really good paperback journal 'packs' you can get at most stationary stores. if buying a 10/15$ journal seems too intimidating, you can get these packs for like, 10 dollars total, and each one only has about 40ish pages.
this way if you have parts that dont front as frequently, you dont have anyone worrying about 'waste' while still providing them their own space. these are just a few examples.
something unexpected this ended up helping with was actually our individual memories too. i noticed some people asking 'how do you journal if you're blurry/have bad memory as a part?' and, well, that's actually why i started doing it. i wanted to remember more than just 'feeling bad' whenever i fronted, so i carry my journal with me and write down basically like, everything.
even just passing thoughts like 'i kind of wish we had beef strips at home for dinner' or 'im really excited for artfight this year'. when you're trying to recover as a system, especially as a part thats been heavily slotted with a lot of 'negative' emotions, its important to give yourself the space to express more than those things. if you only ever remember yourself as being 'angry/bad' then you wont develop much past that, and you start to internalize that shit and really hate yourself.
journaling has been a great outlet for me to vent and draw my own stuff, but it's also given me some dignity and the space to feel like a person outside of just being like. traumatized. i sort of use it as a vault of everything about me, good and bad, important and trivial.
also like, importantly, from both an eco friendly and anticap standpoint, you can really just use stuff you have lying around the house already. i think personalizing your journal is important, but you can also do that without going out and buying 56347875 things. personally i got really into junk journaling alongside writing and drawing, because it gave me a spot to put a lot of the cool stuff that other people would think is trash.
don’t focus on your responsibilities you need to make gay shit for a dying fandom
the online identity and gimmick-ifying of autism is so odd. I'm diagnosed with autism and yet I barely identify with any stuff I see about it anymore. It feels like autism is being rebranded as the Silly Guy Disorder that gives you smart and beautiful hyperspecific interests. it's not that I mind silly jokes or being lighthearted about being autistic- but when the entire social movement is based around marketing us this way, I just can't help but feel isolated from it. it feels like I'm not the right kind of autistic. I'm not marketable and digestible to common audiences, and therefore I am discarded by the movement in the name of progress and acceptance. it feels foul.
she's just so cutesy pie
🌈 HAPPY PRIDE!!!! 🌈
You are loved and beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!
I want pre-merge flashbacks of them so bad
rb and tag your favorite song that's not in english, japanese or korean
In my next life I will be reborn as #me.
journals
2 comms + bunny i drew to experiment ^w^
trying colored pencils again!
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pride freebies for my kofi supporters! ^o^
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comms from kofi! 🌱
I got too many art requests and now I'm overwhelmed. Keep sending them, just know... it might be some time before I actually get to it. Also, cat Danny. Meow. 🐠