Chief Molly's Storytime Blog

My life is full of random events and crazy shit. So might as well let other people here my ridiculous life for entertainment right?!

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I have a feeling this will become iconic in due time.  

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I’ve watched this for like a dozen loops and I still crack up every time

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Everything who reblogs this gets an original character based on their account

{edit: its physically impossible to do this many. Maybe if you’re nice you’ll get one, maybe I will leave you so I can actually sleep//also it was mean to be ‘everyone’ but at this point I’ll give one to a cactus in a fedora}

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Pt 1 of the weird Polka night

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Pt 1 of the weird Polka night

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Pt 3 of the weird Polka night

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Pt 2 of the weird Polka night

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Chicken Dance

In cadets we do volunteering. We were helping do an Almost Christmas Dinner for the seniors last week and the people who put the dinner on got a live band to play called the Emeralds.

Well if you google The Emeralds you can see that they made the Chicken Dance go Double Platinum in Canada, but under the name the bird dance. Oh ya did I forget to mention THEY ARE A FUCKING POLKA BAND.

I listened to Polka music from 630-10pm. And these weirdos had an Elmo in a chicken costume hanging from a metal stand on the front of the stage!

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"Ouch! It's hurts where my ovaries would be, if I had ovaries."

-My Brother

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*Clock reads 630pm*

I am making a coffee

Mom: Don't get in the habit of drinking coffee this late, you won't sleep!

Me: Amber sleep is for the weak!

Mom: No... it's I'll sleep when I'm dead!

*looks mom straight in the eyes*

Me: Amber, the dead are weak

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"Lay down in the hallway like the 'paint me like one of your french girls' pose"

-Linda to me while I was wearing a horse mask

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My Teacher Was In An 80s Spandex Commercial

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Spike

When I was little (like 10 and under) I would always go to my cousins in Calgary. This one time we were at their neighbours house because they were my cousins really good friends. And they were all painting their nails and doing hair and that. But I was basically a little boy so I was sooo bored. I got their friend to put my hair into a Mohawk (I had really short hair for a long ass time) and I ran around pretending to be a this character I made up named Spike. And he was a bad ass skate kid who got all the girls. My cousins, sister and I thought it was so funny so we found a black undershirt and my cousins soccer shorts and we went to the movies and we insisted that everyone call me Spike while we were at the movies, so everyone did.

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Well I played a love song❤ this is my average band day

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School Song

In elementary school the school song fullfilled Canadian stereotypes. We had a moose that would wonder into the school grounds every now and then, so we woyld have to go inside. So they let him into the song. And part of the song went, There is a moose that's on the loose! Trying to use, our slide!

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WHY WOULD YOU FEED YOUR CATS EGGS 😂😂