whatever i like

this is an account i made to follow funy blogs and i will repost funny things for the most part sometimes a few other things but it will always go back to things i find funny. message me if you want to talk I'm always open to a good conversation

[chiefsnikerdoodle]

Stakeout

Batman: Oracle, status report.

Oracle: [over the comms] the teams are all in position. Things are quiet so far.

Batman: Hm. Ok, thank you Oracle. I'll check in on them. [switches over to Nightwing and Robin's frequency]

-

Nightwing: -nd I've already bought it! You need to socialise more; this is an important part of your childhood.

Robin: No.

Nightwing: It's so cute, though. You'll look adorable!

Robin: [with feeling] No.

Nightwing: [huffs] At least try it on; I already paid for it.

Robin: I am NOT going trick-or-treating.

Batman: ...[switches over to Orphan and Batgirl's comms]

-

Batgirl: -so then I said "you put that hand anywhere near me again I'll break it off" and he-

Orphan: B is listening now.

Batgirl: oh, hey B. Anyway then we had sex and he had this-

Batman: [cuts off the feed before he becomes even more traumatised] ...

Batman: ...ok. [tunes into Red Robin and Red Hood's frequency]

-

Red Hood: [in a fake posh voice] the handyman?!!! How could you DO this to me Dolores?!

Red Robin: [in a high-pitched voice] How could I?!! How could I NOT?? You married your office long before I ever fucked Juan-Eduardo!

Red Hood: Don't you DARE put this on me! I knew I shouldn't have hired that ridiculously good looking sonofabitch!

Red Robin: Hah! Well that wouldn't have stopped me from sleeping with CHAD!

Red Hood: NO!

Red Robin: [Triumphantly] OH YES

Red Hood: NO! MY BEST FRIEND?? WILL THE LIES NEVER END DOLORES??

Red Robin: YES! And let me tell you- he was SO MUCH better than you. He-

Red Hood: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART DOLORES

Red Robin: [breaking character] nice one

Red Hood: thank you

Batman: [over the comms] what are you DOING?

Red Robin: Hi B. There's a couple in the building across from us who're having a huge fight. We're giving them voices.

Red Hood: [in his fake voice] Look at all these papers! These papers that I'm waving around! Look at them!!

Red Robin: [as "Dolores"] Well if you love your papers so much why don't you MARRY THEM?

Red Hood: MAYBE I WILL

Red Robin: I HATE YOU! I have always hated you! and what's more- I HATE your MOTHER.

Red Hood: [gasps] MY MOTHER IS A SAINT AND A GIFT TO MANKIND

Red Robin: YOUR MOTHER IS A DECREPIT OLD WHORE

Red Hood: I WILL- DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME DOLORES

Red Robin: [hisses] Whenever the Mets play, I wish they would lose.

Red Hood: [gasps] YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?? ME -the man who obviously bought every piece of Mets Merch known to man and display them in every room of our apartment like a tool?! HOW COULD YOU??!

Red Robin: Well what are you gonna do about it? HUH?

Red Hood: WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO! I'M GONNA TAKE THIS GUN- [breaks character] Ohmygod he's got a gun! Shit fuck moving out

Red Robin: We're coming Dolores!

[Line goes dead]

Batman: ...[stares unseeingly at the sky]

Oracle: Aw man, and it was just getting good too.

[izbirakin]

Sevdiğim kediler

[your-url-is-problematic]

sound on!!!

[rubykgrant]

I’m workin’ on my ROAR

[tastefullyoffensive]

[penny-anna]

Geralt meets Jaskier and is like *sniff sniff* ‘yeah this guy’s part elf, I’m not going to comment on this because it’s a very personal thing to bring up in mixed company and also none of my business’ & never once questions that Jaskier knows this bcos like, that’s the kind of thing people know about themselves, right? and it’s a touchy sort of subject so it’s understandable that Jaskier doesn’t really talk about it, w/e

& then years later Yennefer comments on how improbably youthful Jaskier is and Geralt’s like ‘yeah he’s part elf’ (cause like, we’re all ambiguously-human friends here, nbd)

but Jaskier is like ‘what the fuck? are you talking about?? no I’m not???’ and Geralt is like ‘…..fuck.’

[penny-anna]

Geralt: never mind

Jaskier: no, what are you talking about? what made you think that??

Geralt: I thought you knew.

Jaskier: what do you mean, you thought I knew??

Jaskier: listen, I know the names of all my family going back to my great-great-great-great grandparents, and none of them were elves? 

Geralt: ….well. one of them’s lying.

Jaskier: I don’t like what you’re implying

Geralt: I’m not implying anything

Jaskier: yes, you are? you’re implying that one of my ancestors committed adultery with an elf? which is patently absurd?

Geralt: are you on speaking terms with your parents at the moment

Jaskier: what does that have to do with anything

Geralt: it’s just I don’t know if you should hear this from me

Jaskier: well, I AM hearing it from you, aren’t I????

Geralt: I shouldn’t have brought it up. I thought you knew.

Jaskier: where are you even getting this from? oh, what can you just, sense that somebody’s part elf with your magic witcher powers?

Geralt: …………….

Jaskier: ………………………… *entire sense of identity crumbling* fuck

[hellenhighwater]

Jasker: do you have ANY IDEA how much money I have spent on skin care products over the years???? FOR NO REASON, APPARENTLY???

[queerticulate]

I just love the idea of jaskier later finding out that his grandmother was just as much of a slut and he is and she had a string of lovers and nobody really knew who fathered her children so for convenience sake they were all just ascribed to jaskier’s grandfather and considered legitimate

[penny-anna]

Jaskier: so I found out why nobody told me I’m part elf

Yennefer: oh?

Jaskier: it turns out my grandmother fucked so many people that the paternity of all of her children is up for debate

Jaskier: so they just sort of had to guess which of them were the half elves and in my mother’s case, they were wrong.

Yennefer: that’s hilarious

Geralt: I’m starting to see where you get it from

Jaskier: quite

Jaskier: anyway my mother says please will you come and smell everyone else on her side of the family just in case

Geralt: …hm

[heroofthreefaces]

he’s a mercenary innee

how much is she offering

[dechart]

this is GOLD

[trasemc]

Huskies gives me life

[darkangel0410]

@007waffles007

[berniesrevolution]

[zanmor]

these ones

[lavendermanna]

oh we can get even more specific than just a list of billionaires:

here are all of the scum who control oil, coal, and natural gas

here are the ones who run the factories

and here are the ones who extract the raw resources that the others need to make it all work

[libertarian-therapist]

23,000 people are reblogging a hit list

[bogleech]

Good.

[official-lucifers-child]

oh it’s not a hit list yet, but we can make it one

[iraffiruse]

HURR DURR DURR IMA DOG

[kit-kat-sb]

I DON’ USUALLY REBLOG SHIT LIKE THIS BUT I LAUGHED SO HARD IT ECHOED

[awesome-picz]

Hilarious Cat Snapchats That Will Leave You With The Biggest Smile ( part 1)

[lagonegirl]

[miiriya]

[blackness-by-your-side]

this

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[jewishdragon]

[princess-bonnie-deactivated2016]

This is an incredibly important lesson to learn.

[browsedankmemes]

This needs to be added

[marauders4evr]

“You’re WRONG.”

[gifak-net]

[whitepeopletwitter]