✨denna✨

[childumbphin]

Soooo full of hate

[childumbphin]

🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡

[childumbphin]

VERY full of hate

[childumbphin]

I’m just very angsty right now and full of hate

[childumbphin]

UGHHHHHHH UGH UGH UGH

[childumbphin]

UGHHHHHHH UGH UGH UGH

[childumbphin]

UGHHHHHHH UGH!

[childumbphin]

UGHHHHHHH UGHHHHHH UGH!!!!

[childumbphin]

i’m sooooo UGH!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!! UGHHH!!!!!!

[childumbphin]

can’t sleep

i can’t sleep because you pop up in my brain. i spent so many nights with you. holding you. i spent so much of my energy to see you, because i loved you. i loved you. i don’t think i love you anymore. your image is slowly deteriorating and rotting inside my head. your smile was once warm and beautiful to me and now all i can see is your yellow teeth and degenerate smile. such a degenerate. i did coke with you for the first time. never again. i’m laying here imagining the next time i might see you. i’m sitting here wondering whether or not you’re going to drop off my belongings or if i have to show up to your house and ask in person. i wonder if you think about me the way i think about you. i don’t think your mind could comprehend love the way i do. your mind is putrid and selfish. you’ve always been selfish. you were always so defensive and possessive of your belongings, you always had to make it clear that i was in your house. i don’t need someone who isn’t as generous as me. i deserve someone who thinks about the little things and brings me flowers. i want to go to sleep but you’re fresh in my mind. i can’t wait until the day i no longer think about you. why did you have to go about things this way? why were you so careless with my feelings? why didn’t you take me seriously? i don’t care to know because your actions showed me everything i needed to know.

goodnight

[childumbphin]

The note I don’t send

Jake

I’m disappointed and find you quite lame. I’m a lover with all my heart, but I am a strong woman that knows when to step the fuck away. It was a really hard decision but I needed our relationship to end. I’m glad I met you because I learned boundaries for myself. I’m not perfect and have never claimed to be such a radical thing. I feel so angry. I feel so angry that I believed your words and commitments to me. I feel so angry that I sit here and look at the last messages between us, it’s like nothing mattered to you after nearly a year together. I feel like this entire time I pushed away red flags about you because I thought I knew you, but those red flags were in fact very true to your character. You’re an alcoholic asshole who doesn’t respect women. It’s true. I don’t want to believe it because I thought I knew you. You only care about women that are convenient or benefit you. You’re so selfish. You never bought me flowers. I never got to go to the skegss concert with you or go try persian food at ravagh. I never got to go on that couple massage with you. I never got to see you for who you truly are. You just cut me off and that’s okay. I got to see you in this light and I can’t unsee it. I should be grateful you aren’t spewing up bullshit words to me trying to get me to stay. I will never see you on my own terms again. You’re not getting back your belongings. You can go fuck your self. You’re gay. You’re so misogynistic. You’re never in tune with your emotions because you have such an ego and crazy toxic masculinity. I hope you go to therapy because God knows you need it. I don’t think you wanted to be in a relationship with me anymore. I’m glad I broke up with you. It’s best it happened this way. I’m so sad. I really loved you. I really really really fucking loved you. Sometimes life isn’t fair. Nothing lasts forever. I savored you in the moments we had together and that’s all they are now. Past memories. I don’t think you’ll reach out to me. I just hope you drop off my belongings. I guess this is it. I’m sure i’ll look back at this months from now and laugh. But for right now it really sucks. I just feel left in the dark with my thoughts. I am left to think about all of this on my own. That’s a pretty rough task. But i’m a strong woman! I’m a strong woman. I’m really happy I’m not with a man who disrespects women anymore. That wasn’t true to me as a person. I had no other option.

[randomreasonstolive]

Reason to Live #11980

 The warmth of a pet laying on you!– Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.) 

[randomreasonstolive]

Reason to Live #11968

   Showering and washing your hair after few days depressed. Trust me, you'll feel a bit better. :) – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.) 

[childumbphin]

i’m upset i cut myself it’s been a year since i have last. it’s been 10 years since i first cut myself. it makes me really sad that i dont like myself or my body. i hate myself so much. i’m trying to be a person i can love, im trying to love what is already here. but here i am once again, falling weak to my unproductive coping mechanisms. i can’t bring myself to talk to anyone about this. it’s so embarrassing.

i just want to be away. gone. i don’t want to live like this anymore.

there was once a driving force in my life. once i realized that driving force was merely a survival response to the environment i grew up in… that’s where i was left astray. i just want to run away. i don’t want to be here anymore.

[childumbphin]

i think it’s crazy and twisted and beautiful that i’m here on this earth. i really don’t want to be here. i don’t feel like i came onto this earth out of a place of love. i just don’t. i know my parents have given me love and say they care about me and show they do, it just feels so fake. it feels like they just brought me into this world to carry out their life goals and to carry out the things they couldn’t carry out. and now i have to be alive and live up to societal expectations :)

[childumbphin]

i just feel like everyone is going to leave me. i’m such an idiot. no one cares.

[childumbphin]

i don’t know why i embarrass myself like this. i don’t want to ever be vulnerable again i just want to crawl in a hole and die.