Chili [Not Pepper]

🌀Professional hater speaking🌀

[chilinotpepper]

I may sound toxic but

I feel like SO many people defend ancient cookies for no reason at all, ignoring and EXCUSING their flaws that I cannot keep silent any longer. I NEED TO RANT ABOUT IT. Warning : I am NOT hating on the fans of said characters, I am annoyed by their EXCUSES and how they wash them of any blame. Don't take my crappy rants close to heart.

Okay, let's start.

Pure Vanilla is perhapst the worst of the ancients, really. Since the start of beast yeast he became a naive dummy for SMC to punch. His "compassion" lasts until he meets a cookie who isn't his friends, SMC or the gingergang(how he LITERALLY made soldiers attack Pom Pom Dough, a KID, while seeing that she was doing it out of pain CLEARLY). And I HATE how he excuses every little thing SMC and WLC do, even if it's a literal war crime or murder. White Lily caused TWO WARS over her selfish wants? Oh but she has a souljam of freedom, it means all her crimes can go without any consequenses!! Shadow Milk killed Elder Faerie, tried to murder gingergang and LITERALLY gave Strawberry cookie, a CHILD, TRAUMA FROM HIS TORTURES? Oh but he's so lonely and misunderstood, he just needs for me to understand him for a thousandth time!! Like PV can you SHUT UP AND USE YOUR BRAINS. Just because someone was "good" doesn't mean all their bad actions can get excused so easily. He's so annoyning it's honestly baffling, like his ENTIRE character is just yapping non-stop to fill in the screentime and defending a war criminal and a clown phyhopath. And yet the fandom treats him as if he isn't WILLINGLY doing it to himself by constantly chasing WL and SMC. Like He's NOT a good guy.

Next up Hollyberry. Now, I think people HAVE called out her alchoholism and her abandoning her kingdom, but I feel like her alchoholism is getting treqated as a joke so much so people see it as a "trait" rather than a problem, which is honestly NOT GOOD. I still think that abandoning an ENTIRE KINDGOM over her grief is NOT a good idea and is CERTAINLY isn't going to make it better, but I don't ever see it begin brought up.

Dark Cacao. Oh boy. To say I HATE how the fandom treats him is to say nothing at all. I can BET MY HEAD if he wasn't an edgy speaking, black, single "dad" the fandom would've HATED him by now. His excuse for neglecting Dark Choco was that "he's busy protecting his kindgom!!". Yeah, so busy that HIS OWN TRIBES WENT EXTINCT because he refused to help them and was too scared to open his gates even to his own people. Not to mention, his kindgom is literally at a constant lockdown and war preparations, which, as was stated IN GAME, wastes all their resources. So he's not only a negligent and emotionally abusive and distant as a parent, but also a shitty ruler who cannot sustain his own land. And his whole thing with apologizing to Dark Choco only after YEARS, and doing it so piss poor is honestly enraging. It wasn't even an apology really, because he didn't admit ANY of his faults other than saying "Oh I didn't give you love". Yeah, you didn't and you STILL don't do it. Dark Cacao values hosting fucking BTS-wannabe concerts in his poor ass kindgom and drinking with Holly over HIS CHILD. And yet people pity him as if he is the victim here. Like, NO. He lived for THOUSANDS of years and didn't understand that kids need to be raised not by a wooden sword but with actual CARE. And then they make Dark Choco the bad guy for picking up Strawberry jam sword. As if it shouldn't have been HIS FATHER to teach and protect him there. ATP I am bold enough to say that THE ONLY REASON Dark Cacao got cursed by Pomegrante and NEVER intreacts with his son is because devsis don't want to paint their "hero" a bad person and admit his flaws, and his fans are perfectly fine with this. Golden Cheese gets a skip. Because honestly? The ONLY ancient who listened to her subjects, admitted her wrongs and ACTUALLY went out of her way to fix what she has been doing wrong(aka deleted the digital kindgom of hers, letting her subjects rest). Her begin hated for holding a grudge against a person who CAUSED HER ENTIRE KINDGOM TO GET KILLED is so stupid I can't. WL glazers will go out of their way to excuse a war criminal any way they can.

White Lily was perfect until Beast Yeast. Ever since all her actions began getting excused by everyone around her, she became such a golden child it's hilarious. Her souljam doesn't excuse begin a selfish ass who doesn't think about any consequenses until they actively come back to bite her. Safe to say she doesn't care about anyone and anything but her goals, because how the HELL does she even brag about cookies begin "imperfect" with such a crimial record?? Yeah, cookies are imperfect, but it isn't an excuse to ignore their actions, duh. And her fans? If you DARE mention that she's selfish, they'l tear you apart. Like, no, I don't see her as a hero at all just because she has a souljam and she's "sorry". She should've thought about that BEFORE doing reckless things everyone told her not to. "But she represents freedom!!" Freedom doesn't mean having zero sense of responsibility. That's all I had to rage about today. Again, that's MY OWN OPINION and I am NOT saying I am the only one with a good train of thought here, I am simply expressing my frustration towards a CERTAIN part of a very big fandom. Have a nice time of day and I hope the rant wasn't too cringe.

[chilinotpepper]

Hot take : ShadowVanilla has no dynamic other than back-and-forth pacing, with PV begin naive idiot who tries to force SMC to see that "Ooh but I understand you, you're not alone, just pls don't do war crimes!!" and SMC torturing him and behaving like a sadist, but in the back of his mind he just wants someone to understand him(Ignore the elephant in the room in the face of PV), and he's lonely and sad and all he needs to become a good person is for PV to endure his torture for a thousand more times, and maybe then, he MIGHT hesitate before ripping PV's head off. Literally, name ONE thing that changes between their relationship since the beginning of Beast Yeast and the end of Beast Yeast. Oh, I know : Their character sprites! Nothing else.

Anyway, that's all I had to yap about. Again, it's my opinion and how I see it, I'm not trying to talk down on anyone but devsisters' horrid writing here.

[chilinotpepper]

So. Let's just sum the crk finale up :

- Half of the characters in the final arc are FORGOTTEN ABOUT (Where are the beast's minions? The faes? LITERALLY THE BEASTS?! WHY DID THEY APPEAR FOR A SINGLE CUTSCENE AND DIE?

- Sugar Swan and other natural guardians were POINTLESS there, lore wise. Like they appeared for one scene, Sugar Swan for a tad more, and she prevented some deaths, but still - it feels like they just needed to get that "oh we unite" moment done and moved past it.

- Why isn't anyone talking about how White Lily just... Got away? I get it, she helped greatly in the end, but... Then they kill her off. Because apparently, wiring redemption arcs is something devsis are deadly afraid of. It felt like such a waste honestly.

- The ultimate cookie was such a nothing burger it's not even funny. It felt like it was there just to stretch the screentime, and maybe remind people that "oh look gingerbrave is STILL our mains character btw we care!!" *Loud incorrect buzz*

- So is the CRK Fandom now officially in the state of "anything with SMC is automatically good"? The Shadow Milk begin the sole survivor among the beasts, mixing himself with ultimate cookie and fucking with the timelines is just- I cannot. I can't. It's HONESTLY not even good writing anymore, it's just for the sake of keeping the corny manipulator clown alive. Three of the beasts die off screen, SSC gets some story but still DIES, and this "weakest beast physically wise" gets out with no consequences. Devsisters. I hate you.

- And how about I mention THE LACK OF AN ENDING? Like "here, the grand finale!!!" and it's half of the cast dying off screen, SMC becoming a cringe marysue, and "To be continued...". Nah it's NOT continued, it's the end of your MAIN ARC DEVSIS, YOUR MAIN ARC, AND IT SUCKS ASS.

Conclusion : I didn't expect anything good from the finale but they fumbled it so badly I am genuinely shocked some fans try to present it as peak. Peak WHERE? They literally erased all the minions, ancients stayed afk until it came to gingerbrave, Sugar Swan Cookie appeared for half a cutscene and went off the radar for the rest of the story, AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SHADOW MILK COOKIE. THEY LITERALLY WASTED ALL THE TIME OF THE STORY FOR HIM BEGIN ALL FUCKING "Oooh foolish cookies I'm TWO STEPS AHEAD HAHAHA", KILLED OFF THE BEASTS OFF SCREEN, NO ONE GOT PUNISHMENT OR EVEN A DECENT CONCLUSION TO HOW IT ALL ENDED, BUT OH WE HAVE A SPOILER FOR TIMEKEEPER COOKIE UPCOMING, WOW, SO COOL! I was becoming sick of crks when it came to their obsession with fan favorites long ago, but after this? Nah. You won't see me EVER touching this shit in a million years from now on. I don't care if they hire the best writer in the world in the future, they didn't just flop the ending they crushed the rock bottom. That's all I had to say. Fuck current CRK story and where it's all going, I'm out.

[chilinotpepper]

Following my hot take about how poorly written is Dark Cacao Cookie and the whole "Dark Choco forgives his negligent dad after one, poorly squeezed out apology" arc, and reading a few other people's opinions, I came to a conclusion that my god Dark Cacao Kingdom as a whole(and especially how the side-characters and Dark Cacao's servants are written), is a mess.

WARNING : This isn't a hatespeech towards the fans of Dark Cacao Cookie/Kingdom OR any other characters I'll mention, that's just my opinion on the story and I have my rights to shit on it. Yap session incoming ahead-

Lately I've been getting less and less sugarcoating with my views on how crk's stories, especially the main ones are written, and I feel the need to yap about another complaint I have with how Kingdom treats some important story aspects, such as characters using their brains and getting consequences for their actions AGAIN.

In my previous post, I mentioned how stupid it was that no one in the Dark Cacao Kingdom ever questioned Dark Cacao Cookie's ways, despite him clearly doing more to harm the kingdom rather then to help it, and after I re-watched the episode recently I realized that it keeps adding up.

Starting off with the fact that he's not only a shitty father but a terrible example of a ruler, who sees only what's right under his nose. At the start of 13th episode, the first few things we see is how miserable are things in the nearest villages and tribes of the Dark Cacao Kingdom, to the point that some of them(Coffee and Licorice) went EXTINCT. These villages clearly rely on the "heart" pf the Dark Cacao Kingdom for support, or they used to, until DC isolated his kingdom with a wall. The point is, not only doesn't Dark Cacao Cookie look after any territory of his which isn't surrounded by his wall,

but his subjects kinda don't care either. And I know some will say "oh but Affogato Cookie was the one refusing to tell it to Dark Cacao Cookie!", but that isn't correct fully. While he has kept it a secret in THIS scene, we have no single proof he is fully responsible for keeping it all silent; you cannot tell me he is there every time someone from another village comes asking for help. But the other subjects, the watchers, the soldiers, they do NOTHING about it! This kid comes here, basically saying their village is burning in blue flames and the dude just goes "Fuck off kiddo". I get it that it isn't the watcher's responsibility to help that village, but no one took his right to go tell Dark Cacao Cookie about it. Literally no one. And that further proves that, at some point, someone had to notice, because don't they have trade connections, or, as we see in the recent dream update(the story of that "have we had noses this whole time" warrior), know each other. And no one EVER stopped to think "Oh wow, that village or tribe haven't been on the radar for a literal decade, surely nothing happened to them, yeah?"

It escalates even further when Affogato mentions how poor is the condition of their kingdom, because it's clear that not only cookies outside of the kingdom suffer from Dark Cacao's negligence, but the cookies INSIDE, TOO.

This is just another example of how poorly Dark Cacao manages his kingdom. Not only Affogato, but Chili Pepper Cookie also mentions that there's Literally nothing but bitter cacao beans in the kingdom's vault. The soldiers are exhausted, overworked, and yet no one, until Affogato mentioned it straight-ahead, ever thought about what are they fighting against? They waste all resources into defense against... Some danger that no one ever saw.

And whenever someone calls Dark Cacao Cookie out, they're literally threatened and cornered by everyone else in the nearest radius. I bet my head if it wasn't for Affogato's charisma and high status, no one would've actually listened to his words. And yet, despite ALL OF THIS, most of the fans describe Dark Cacao as a "caring and overprotective ruler, who starves himself bone and doesn't sleep for weeks to maintain a crumb of order in his land", which is, if we're speaking straightforward, kind of a romantization? DC clearly cares, but his actions literally bring more harm than good, and people just ignore it. And not only the Fandom, but the story itself paints it as if their kingdom has some sort of heavenly amount of attention paid to their denizens' wellbeings, when, as stated above, is clearly not true at all, as soldiers and watchers overwork themselves in favor of some unseen threat that might just happen to attack, if it's even real.

My point is, after all of this, is yet again how shallow the writing of CRK is, if you compare it to ovenbreak, for example, that features alot of side stories along with main ones, with a variety of characters; or clarifiy some plot points, OR serve as a fun addition to show character's relationships better. While in kingdom, we are shown how bad the conditions in the Dark Cacao Kingdom are, only for the characters to never mention it again and act like everything's sunshine and rainbows over there. It makes me so mad I don't even know what to add; expect for maybe if anyone who reads my posts would like me to go and spit on some specific writing/plot problems CRK has, because I feel like doing so more and more recently. Anyway, I hope my point was made somewhat clear in this post. Again, I'm not hating on any fans of what I mentioned earlier, it's just my angry yapping of what I dislike in the story; have a good day people.

[chilinotpepper]

Terrible way to start my first post here but I doubt many people will see this anyway; I just need to get this out of my head

WARNING : This is NOT a hate speech towards Dark Cacao Cookie's fanbase, or people who have headcanons or aus where they explain the actions he did that I will mention in this post. This was written out of spite for the poor execution of the complex relationship I have my own views on, from what I've gotten from THE CANON STORYLINES from the game. Thank you, and please don't kill me for this post.

Personal hot take and long yap session incoming : The Fandom spared Dark Cacao from the hate he deserved for his horrid(or, complete lack of) parenting GREATLY; and devsis should've put more into the consequences he should've got for it.

I've seen alot of people try to exuse Dark Cacao by saying "Oh he was too busy" or "He just thought it was the way to do it" or smth, but hear me out : unless it's an au/a hc of someone, this exuse is bare ass. If we look at all the flashbacks we had from Dark Choco(Kingdom and Ovenbreak included), we can see that Cacao didn't treat him as a son, but rather a thing to be trained to perfection in his two future roles : a warrior, and a ruler. Great examples of this is this scene from ovenbreak

And this two from kingdom

Some might say that this is what Cacao prioritizes in parenting, that he's just "preparing him for real world" type of shi, but let me tell you : both exuses the Fandom uses I mentioned earlier get obliterated by what we have from canon story. Dark Cacao maybe was busy, yes, but we saw scenes from past where he was training with Dark Choco; he HAD time for him. And the second one about him thinking "he was doing it the right way" - are you telling me that he, an immortal man, who has probably seen more Cookies in his life than anyone else, had never once saw a child? Or how a parent treats one, even if briefly? Does he himself not know that treating someone, especially a kid, harshly and uncaringly would bring nothing but trouble later? I think he did. And from here, it's rather one of two : he is rather an absolute fool who thinks with a sword and not a brain; or he didn't want a son to begin with, and this is why he didn't care to treat and bring him up him properly, let alone take any responsibility for how his mistakes affected Dark Choco. And I think it's the second one. We can see from the story that all the duties he has in his kingdom do tire him out greatly; from in-game dialogs, interactions, and how he has very limited time to go anywhere whenever he needs to(To the creme republic, for example). And while it isn't stated in the story itself, there are many hints that he would want for someone to to take his place. Someone who had the qualities he is most known for, and someone who he can trust : his son, of course. This is why, instead of caring for Dark Choco as a person, he cared more about forcing him to possess the physical qualities he has, but not emotional ones. He casted it aside, thinking that Choco will somehow gain them with time; but he didn't. All he was taught was how to fight, but nothing else. And when the mistakes of his own ways finally came up in the face of Dark Choco succumbing to the curse, He didn't take any responsibility. He didn't care enough to understand why his son became like this, he didn't care to listen(because Dark Choco, in fact, tried to tell him about his wrongs before stabbing him) - he just kicked him out, so he wouldn't have to admit he was wrong. And when he DOES finally need to face the responsibility, what does he do?

He decides to get rid of Dark Choco entirely. Why would he try to fix something he caused? Why wold he try to hear about his own wrongs? When he can just kill him off, and no one will ever question? Because in his eyes, Dark Choco had one purpose - to replace him as a future king. And when he failed that purpose by falling to the curse, Dark Cacao didn't care about him any longer.

Not to mention, the way he changes his ways, in a literal second, and only after years had passed, when he is fighting Choco. You cannot tell me he would've apologized under any other circumstances, if his kingdom wasn't in active danger and he knew he was wasting time on this battle. I mean look at this: This is one scene,

And this is five minutes after it:

He just goes "Oh I'm sorry I've ALWAYS CARED FOR YOU btw forget that I disowned you a second ago." As if that will magically fix Dark Choco's sorry state of mind.

AND THIS IS THE BIGGEST PROOF OF WHAT I SAID EARLIER ABOUT HIM NOT CARING!! This scene is already after Dark Choco broke free from the curse, and yet, the rest of the kingdom are still unaware of why he had "betrayed" them in the first place. Because Dark Cacao didn't want to admit that most of the blame for how the prince turned out was on him. He labeled Dark Choco a traitor who had just "turned away from their kingdom", without mentioning the reason why, nor the curse. Because then, he would face consequences and pay with his reputation. So, he decided to ruin Dark Choco's life before he could ruin his reputation as "a fair and protective ruler".

And add to why I think like this, not only that, but he never tries to actually do something to make up for his fuckups. In his interaction with Holly(in kindgom), he literally says that he won't reach out to Dark Choco, despite knowing how much of a blame he has for his son's fate. He wants Dark Choco to crawl back to him on his knees with apologies for something Cacao should be held accountable for. And ALL WE GET after years of lore is him putting on his "hand on heart" sprite once in a cutscene and going "Oh I hope my PTSR and guilt-ridden son, who's life I willingly ruined for not wanting to admit that I am a shitty ruler is fine on his own accord. I surely don't need to do anything to make up for my mistakes." That ain't care, it's him basically saying "Hahaha I'm free from responsibility to try to fix anything with him, I can forget about his existence until he dies or whatever", while Dark Choco is the one to actually help his kindgom, other cookies and try to do better in life. He is the one fixing his mistakes, whiles his father isn't doing anything with their horrible relationship. I'm not saying he's careless entirely, sure thing the story doesn't want us to think this way, BUT it is how the story itself PRESENTS him to be, no matter how much devsis try to make believe he changed, without actually making him struggle.

And worst of all? Dark Cacao doesn't face any consequences for it. None of his subjects ever doubt him; the other ancient heroes don't bring it up, despite having guts to sometimes call him out for his mistakes; HELL, Dark Choco himself proudly takes the blame for succumbing to the curse and forgives his father after A SINGLE APOLOGY THAT TOOK YEARS TO GET. Devsis literally washed him free from any consequences, while occasionally making it seem like he gives two fucks about his child. And yes, I know that it's just devsis type of shitty writing, but hear me out, it DOES look like he really just doesn't care/cares extremely little about Dark Choco if you look ONLY at the story, and not extra materials outside of the game like mini comics.

My conclusion to all of this garbage I just wrote out of spite and overthinking? Devsis suck at doing logical plot im favor of making fan-appealing plot. Dark Choco should've not forgiven his father so easily, and Dark Cacao, instead of doing nothing about him, should've worn himself out to death trying to fix it, going through trial, error and pain, just like Dark Choco did in his banishment. Because then, it would prove that he cares for him and their broken ass relationship, and after years, Dark Choco MIGHT have the right to actually consider forgiveness. Instead, they made Dark Choco do all the work and Cacao just sit there and do nothing to change a thing, while occasionally sparing his son a single thought once or twice. And the Fandom can find thousand more exuses for him - I'm sure people will do it in the comments if my post ever gets more than ten views, but whatever.

My point is that, no, I'm no good writer, nor am I an expert in complex and problematic family relationships, but if we look at their plot logically, without sympathizing any of the character for the favor? Dark Choco actually changed and tries to get better, while his father, who was responsible for why it all even started, and should be the one wiser and more willing to try to fix things, does nothing but empty talking. And it made me really mad, especially after the decent comic from devsisters where Dark Choco imagines a "happily ever after" with his father. It just seems so rushed and unthought of, that he, who endured so much because of Dark Cacao, would forgive him after a single apology. And with what I said earlier about how the story itself shows Dark Cacao's relation to his son, it adds up. Yap session ends here, bc I don't know what else to add, besides that I HOPE DEVSIS CAN HIRE A NORMAL FUCKING WRITER or, if not it, then admit Dark Cacao's many flaws and make other characters react to them, and call them out. If anyone read this fully, I hope you didn't cringe as much as I did after I looked at this post when I finished it.