I worked at my last job for three years. During the entire three years there was this one guy. I would say I had a crush on him but, we never met. I don't even know his name.
See, when I say there was a guy, I mean there was a guy who I couldn't help but gawk at every time I saw him. It was as if I developed a sixth sense. One solely meant to alert me that he was within sight.
I couldn't help it. I would happen to look out into the mall area and guess who was walking by..
We would make eye contact from a distance. Since I never spoke more then a few words to him, he could just have been trying to figure out why I was gazing awkwardly at him. No idea if he was ever even interested in the first place..
He came into the store a few times but, I could never bring myself to hold up a decent conversation. I usually just avoided eye contact and pretended that he wasn't making me blush just by looking at me. So, again, no idea what his name is, or if he had a thing for me or was just extremely creeped out by my constant eye contact.
Well, we would have the chance. I was waiting for an elevator one afternoon. I heard the noise behind me and turned to see an elevator empty but for one passenger.
I got on and, here is roughly what my inner monologue sounded like.
" Stop looking forward.."
" Turn your head and look at him!"
" At least find out if he will smile back!"
" Seriously even if he doesn't you will know he wasn't into you!"
" YOU'RE ALMOST AT THE LOBBY! DO SOMETHING!"
" Okay, it stopped. Smile at him when you let him get off first."
" Oh, he is insisting you go first. Well, smile and hold eye contact. JUST DO IT!"
" No. Alright. Hey his hand seemed to be damn close to the small of your back when you got off the evlator. Maybe he is... Or maybe he's just a nice guy..."
So, I have been away from that place for a while now. I'm working much closer to home and guess who I see in the parking lot coming in to shop..
And I just pretended that I never saw him.
Perhaps one day I won't act like a fool when I see you.
Or you will tell me, as I assume, that I have zero chance.
Either way, if he could see this and just go for it, that would really make this easier on me.
You know who you are.
The guy in Winnipeg Square with the longish hair and WOWZA good looks.
Sorry for being so weird.
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